I am now at home, in bed and best of all, in pyjamas. I’m not gonna lie, scrubs are comfy to work in but nothing beats PJs. So now that we all know I’m spending another Friday night being lame... or technically, it’s Saturday morning... whatever, I got off work not too long ago.
So what weird and wonderful things happened today?
Unfortunately, and I find this disturbing, I think the theme for today will have to be poop. Yup, poop. And that’s not an abbreviation for anything else, like maybe Please Organize Origami Papers, or Practically Obsessed Octogenarian Philanderers. When I got on the city bus, it smelled oddly like poop. I say oddly because usually it only smells like week old sweat. Then I got to listen to actual octogenarians, though I don’t think they were the obsessed philandering kind, talk about Alzheimer’s and forgetting bus routes. I don’t have Alzheimer’s and I can’t remember bus routes. It’s sad because there are only eleven, it really shouldn’t be that hard.
Continuing with the poop theme, at work I got to shell and devein shrimp. Now anyone who actually knows about cooking shrimp will understand right away. For those who don’t, deveining does NOT signify the removal of a vein. It’s the removal of the shrimp’s intestine. Yup, guess what you eat if a restaurant doesn’t devein. So a couple hundred shrimp later and I’m dying to cut my finger nails and bleach my finger tips. I eventually got smart and put gloves on. I don’t know why I never think of these things. I do have to say, the constant reminders of “You’re doing a shitty job, keep up the good work,” were very uplifting.
That concludes my story on physical poop. There is however one more little shit I’d like to cuss out. My cat. Today was the first day in weeks that I was able to sleep in. Mr Kitty had other plans and chose to sit outside my door, meowing and bashing his head against my door in order to wake me up. And if that weren’t enough, because my cat has no sense of time, as I’m sure most cats don’t, the high school located in my backyard chose today to throw an outdoor pep rally complete with the musical stylings of Great Big Sea. I like Great Big Sea but not when I’m trying to sleep. The irony is that the song was ‘Ordinary Day’. All of this prompted me to think: “Holy shit, can this get any worse?” And did it? My boss called around 10:30 and asked me to come in two hours early. I’ll leave that to you to decide.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this entry. Am I going too far with the whole poop thing if I say I wrote this for shits and giggles? Bad... I know. IT’S LATE! OR EARLY! I’m going to bed.
Lauren
No comments:
Post a Comment