Follow This

Okay, so after reading a pre-Victorian novel, I decided that it was okay to indulge in some 21st century TV. I was watching Night at the Museum on Showcase and they kept advertising for the showing of Spiderman 3. I don’t know how many of you scarred your vision by watching it, but it got me to thinking. What the heck is up with all these sequels to actually good movies? Spiderman 1 was cool. Spiderman 3 was a bad soap opera with special effects and people made of sand.

Star Wars? The originals are fantastic. They’re an untouchable cultural icon. And then the newer remakes. I don’t think I was supposed to be peeing myself laughing at the end of Episode III when Anakin becomes Darth Vader and discovers that he killed Padma. I’m sorry... anytime a character falls to his knees, throws up his arms and shouts “Nooooooooo!” I’m gonna laugh. Look up the Star Wars Cantina on youtube if you’re a fan. It’s a song about the original three.

Indiana Jones. You’re going to think I’m obsessed but I’m not. I think it’s the sequel that pisses me off most. Raiders was awesome. The Temple of Doom wasn’t my favourite, I like the Family Guy Version better. Oh Stewie... Anyway, my favourite is The Last Crusade. Get it? Last Crusade? As in, shouldn’t be another one? I was completely unimpressed with the whole alien thing. Like a space ship taking off? Really? Secretly I think Lucas is trying to merge Indiana and Star Wars. Who knows, perhaps in the future we’ll have Indy in space with a lightsabre whip being helped along by the offspring of Leah and Solo. How Indy lived that long will be a mystery.

What bugs me is that these people are taking classic films and wrecking them. Well, maybe not classic, but good movies and wrecking them. Just so it doesn’t seem like I’m picking on George Lucas, I’ll bring up other instances.

Miss Congeniality. The first one was funny. When I was thinking of going into criminology for the RCMP my friends referred to me as the Canadian Gracie Hart. “Sarcasm and a gun” haha we laughed. I so would not want to be the Gracie Hart from the second Miss Congeniality. I don’t care enough about Dolce.

Legally Blonde. First one was funny. Second one... not so much, kinda dumb. I can’t even muster up the will to watch the third one.

Pirates of the Caribbean. Anyone else notice the music is the same song played on repeat nonstop throughout the entire movie? I think it’s starting to go on, and on, and on. Elizabeth, I love you! We can’t be together, I must marry the older dude! Elizabeth, I still love you. Sorry, can’t marry you, we’re being arrested Will. Elizabeth, I friggin’ love you man! Yeah, but now you have to sail around and can only come on land once every ten years... am I really supposed to be faithful?

My list goes on... but I’ll stop here. Then of course there are the remakes but that’s a whole other story. Bewitched with Nicole Kidman anyone? So that’s my rant for the day. Without work or school nothing seems to happen! I’ll have to figure out something to do tomorrow.

Lauren.