Watch This!

I went to therapy today. It was very much needed and I feel a lot better now. Let’s have a collective WOO! for mental health! But really, look after it, therapy is for sane people. Anyway, as usual, I vented all my frustrations onto my poor therapist. Actually, the recurring sentence of today was “F--- you”. You should seriously try saying that to people, it feels fantastic. I could literally feel the anxiety leaving my body. Now you know the secret to life.

I do actually have something more interesting than paint colours and Swiffers to discuss today. There are a lot of things that annoy me. I will admit it. The latest thing on my list is Weight Watchers. If it works for you, great! I mean that. If however, you’re Lauren’s parents, keep your Weight Watchers business to yourselves. You’re driving me crazy! AND IT’S NOT A LONG DRIVE!

If I hear one more thing uttered about points that does not refer to traffic violations or sports, I will impale myself on their Weight Watchers, weight watching, point counting, pencils! I had a fairly crappy day yesterday and I came home, looking forward to a hot meal. I got salad with some chicken on top. If you could see my face, it’s the face of unimpressed. And because of my dad’s heartburn, we couldn’t even flavour the chicken with garlic. It was just out of the box, frozen chicken. Okay, I’m being over dramatic. I was disappointed but it wasn’t horrible, it was fine actually.

The points thing is ridiculous! My mom picked up her horse approved cereal (meaning it’s made of oats and 50 million grains and other essentials that subsequently remove flavour) and had to put it back because it was too many points. My dad went out with some coworkers to a wing place. He only drank coffee and watched the other eat wings. It’s not a diet. It’s masochism. All they talk about is points. My dad picked me up from work tonight and the first thing he said about his night, “I couldn’t really have anything... too many points.” BAH! Of course, Ed and Helen laughed their faces off at me, making comments that I’m being underfed. Not quite. But the next thing they asked had them almost doubled over. After my rant, they asked me how long my parents had been on this diet. I looked at them, sighed and said five days.

I’m proud of them for making the decision and for sticking to it so far, but God... stick to it quietly and without torturing me! My friend Ian from the Women’s Center cleverly pointed out that the first three letters of ‘diet’ are ‘die’. I would have to agree. SARAH says that diets are for the weak. Again, I would have to agree. She said it jokingly mind you. My thoughts on the matter are that, you shouldn’t deprive yourself of foods you enjoy. My dad should have had something to eat with his friends tonight rather than JUST coffee. I think the problem is that we’ve lost our sense of moderation. Portion control is important, not eating all the wings you can just because you can is important, getting active is important. Depriving yourself just makes you cranky, annoying, frustrated, probably hungry. Realize why you eat and work on that! Maybe in therapy. Check out how I brought that full circle. It’s nearly midnight and I managed that. I’m a little impressed.

So that’s my rant and my preachy-ness for the day. EAT FOOD! IT’S GOOD FOR YOU!

By the way, on the midterm I totally used you guys as examples for... yeah... I got a 77! Woo me! And you of course! If I send you all secret hearts of happiness will you tell? They're coming, you'll feel them soon!

Lauren.