Glad I Missed the Toilet

I am sleepy but in a good way. It’s the satisfied kind of sleepy that happens after a long but overall productive day. The only instances of non-productivity occurred when I attempted to get Lara Croft from one side of the building to the other. It sounds simple but I had to make her jump onto a giant two sided pendulum that was swinging back and forth, then she had to jump to the other side of the pendulum and then she had to jump onto a narrow ledge against the wall opposite the side where she began. I obviously died several times making this happen. I’m almost positive that one of the times I died, her boobs hit the wall first and caused her to bounce back, missing the ledge and falling to her death. So, I think that’s a pretty strong argument against breast implants. Oh, right, two instances of non-productivity. I went to the doctor’s today and I waited for forty five minutes with octogenarians (I like that word) and babies and octogenarians with babies. Once again it was lunch time and they were forcing us to watch the Food Network. I was actually quite interested in the one guy’s recipe. I love papaya. Fantastic to cook with. Somehow I ended up memorizing the ingredients in his recipe and I was able to repeat them back at work.

So that’s my day. What I really wanted to talk about however, is another Lauren Moment. I must know if other people out there have done this because it will help me feel much less... bewildered.

Today, after catching the bus home from the mall (where my doctor’s office is located), I was forced to walk home. Since I had to go to school and carry a few more items than usual, I had my back pack with me. In such a case, I keep my keys and my bus pass in my pants pocket. So I’m walking home, cursing the snow because it ruined my shortcut and froze my brain, but I got to my front door. I check the mail. My package from ebay had not yet arrived. After shaking my fists in anger, I unlocked the door, replaced my keys in my pocket, put my things away, said hey to Meeko and decided that I needed to go to the bathroom.

--------- Lauren doing her thing----------

When I was feeling better, I proceeded, like most people, to pull up my pants. The toilet was flushing. This is when it happened. My keys flew out of my pocket, hit the toilet but thankfully did not fall into it. I stared stupidly at my keys on the floor, then back at the toilet which had finally finished flushing. Then I started wondering, what would have happened? What would I have done? How the friggin’ hell was I going to explain that without being laughed out of the house? “I dropped my keys in the toilet and they went down”. I just picked up my keys and skipped away. I asked my dad about it later and he assured me that the keys would have disappeared. He then asked: “Did you flush your keys?”

I’m that transparent apparently. Damn... –hangs head-

So, anyone done that or is it just me? And what is it with bathrooms! Why do I keep having accidents there!? Hehe, accidents... I didn’t mean it that way. Mind out of the gutter!

Lauren.