There’s just something about going to the eye doctor that I find amusing. This time I was seeing a new doctor but I was still giggling at all the other stuff I used to. Does that sound weird? Or are you all still trying to figure out how I can be breaking down one day and be relatively normal the next?
Anyway, my old doctor was... creepy. He used to get so close to my face that I could almost feel his eyelashes batting. CREEPY! Then he’d kind of pop in and out of view, switching eyes and bobbing strangely. CREEPY! I don’t know how to describe it, but it kind of reminds me of that awkward seventies dancing?
Possibly something along these lines: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwrgEiPILYM There was less arm flailing and Red Foreman didn’t pop in to save me. I love Red.
Other than that there’s all kinds of TV shows that make fun of optometry. Friends for instance. I was about to do that pressure test thing where they shoot a puff of air into your eye. It took so much effort not to laugh uncontrollably. All I could picture was Rachel flailing around, screaming and being childish. Love that episode!
When I was actually in the office, I could only think of Family Guy. She put the giant lens thingy in front of my face and all I could think of was Jafar saying the exact same things I was. Stupid TV! To her credit though, she stayed far away from me, did not dance and took less than half the time to tell me that my prescription hadn’t changed.
After all that fun, I decided that I wanted to change my frames. Again, this office proved to be superior. The lady, whose name I don’t know... we’ll call her Jill, actually helped me! Due to my incredible indecisiveness, she created a Maybe Pile and kept passing me frames she thought I’d like or thought would look good.
Jill: Here, give these a try.
Lauren: Nah, I don’t like the pink.
Jill: How about these, they’re a nice light frame, not too crazy.
Lauren: Yeah, these aren’t bad, I definitely like these.
Jill [placing glasses in maybe pile]: Alright, so try these next.
Lauren: These aren’t bad.
Jill: Okay, let’s see. How about these?
Lauren puts on glasses and before she can look at herself in the mirror, Jill comments.
Jill: No! You can’t have those! I will not let you walk out of here with those. No.
Lauren [still clueless about what the glasses look like]: Okay then, I take it they’re bad.
The glasses are put back without further discussion.
We finally found a pair that Jill would let me leave with. They’re kind of similar to the ones I have now, the colour’s a little different and they’re made of plastic. I like the plastic! I must say it’s much nicer! It hides the fact that my lenses look like the bottom of a Coke bottle. And that’s after they’ve compressed the glass. Yes... I’m blind... well... not actually, but getting close.
In short today was much better than yesterday. Although, I am kind of curious what those glasses looked like.