Well. I have to say I was in super productivity mode today. I researched, I wrote, I edited, I emailed, I watched Canada win the Gold Medal Game by a ridiculously slim margin (sudden death overtime goal), I did some other stuff too but I don’t really remember. Oh! I organized my short little presentation thingy for when I get to introduce Shakespeare for my placement. Now, I am tired!
Rochester: GUYS! GET OUT HERE QUICK!
Freud: Vhat iss ze matter Rochester? Do you not know vhat time it iss?
Rochester: There’s steam coming out Lauren’s ears!
Freud: Zhat happens all ze time. No need to pan- Iss her head svelling? Zhat iss not normal. Go get Maggie, see if she can tell us vhat is going on!
Magda [throwing open the closet door]: What! Woah... I thought she’d get over that.
Mr. Plunk: It looks like she’s going to blow!
Cooper: DOWN! [tackles everyone to the floor using ninja reflexes right before Lauren’s head explodes, splattering brains everywhere]
Rochester: EW!!!! IT’S ON ME! IT’S TOUCHING ME!!!!!
Magda: Your concern for Lauren’s well-being is touching. Dr. Freud, can you fix this? You’re the only brain specialist we have!
Freud: Don’t you already know if I can fix it?
Magda: Focus please! We can continue arguing later!
Freud: Yes, I sink I can help. I jast need my tools.
TEN MINUTES LATER – Lauren’s splattered brain has been recovered –
Freud [standing over Lauren]: Yes, zat’s it Rochester, shove it all in zhere.
Rochester: This doesn’t seem very scientific. Or medical. Or safe.
Freud: Are you finished pointing out ze obvious? Now, hand me ze popsicle stick. [jiggles popsicle stick in Lauren’s squishy brain matter] Excellent, Maggie, I need chewing gum. Preferably ze pink bubbly kind.
Magda: You are not putting gum in Lauren’s brain!
Freud [rolling his eyes]: Ze gum iss for me... Twit. Now, pass me ze toossbrash. Good. And ze thumb tack, I need zat next. Now go get me a stapler and ze sree hole punch. [staples Lauren’s head closed, cracks open the hole punch and throws the confetti] She iss done!
Magda [scowling]: Yeah, yeah, yeah cause she’s a cake. I need a test before I believe you Frankenstein. [Turning to Lauren] How do you feel?
Lauren: Oh, hey Maggie, I feel great
Holy crap is it really that late?
I should really get to bed.
Ugh, what the hell is up with my head?
I feel like Everest came crashing down in there
And what the heck is this shit in my hair?
Magda: Great, you brought back her Seuss-itis.
Freud: Easily cured vith a vaccine. Lauren, don’t go anyvhere. [scampers off]
Night everyone, this was really fun. Yeah, yeah, I ripped of Grey's... but you gotta love the word play?