The Great Debate

Ever had one of those lazy, tired, exhausted days when the most effort you’re willing to exert involves rolling out of bed? I had one of those. But I went to class, I went to the Pride meeting and hung out with some of the Pride and WC members. I walked home. I had lofty goals of writing a paper. Pfft... Yeah... I sat down and couldn’t bring myself to get back up. I then had a lovely bath (which I’ve been doing much more frequently these days), and then watched a movie. I am soooooooooo not in the mood to do anything. I can practically feel my eyelids closing on me.

I have to tell you guys this though because I don’t know anyone who would find it more amusing. For my next week’s Creative Writing class we have to write and perform a piece of dialogue. So... it took me all of five seconds to figure out what I was going to do. Have you guessed that it involves my imaginary friends?

Magda: Yes... we’ve guessed Lauren.

Freud: And ve do not sink parading around in front of a group iss very amusink.

Lauren: Well, you won’t be parading. You don’t even have to be there. I’m getting two girls from my class to be you.

Freud: Be us? Me and Maggie?

Lauren: Yes, you. Ironically a girl named Maggie will be playing you Freud and a girl named Krystal will be playing Maggie. I think Maggie (the real one) will do an awesome job with your accent.

Freud: I have an accent?!

Magda: Dude... you’re in Lauren’s head, she’s Canadian, you’re Austrian. Of course you have a friggin’ accent.

Freud: I do not recall esking for your opinion MAG-DUH!

Lauren: Just so you know, these little spats are what I’m going to write about.

Freud: And vhere exactly do you fit in in zis little drama?

Lauren: I’m the mediator. It’s not like you can be there without me.

Freud: But vhy does a girl have to play me?

Lauren: Because male representation in my class is exactly proportional to male representation in the school. [Magda and Freud confused] We’re ten students in all, there are two guys. One wasn’t there and I don’t know, I just didn’t think to ask Andrew. By the way, both guys are named Andrew. What are the odds of that?

Magda: Apparently fairly good. So... this Krystal character... is she normal?

Lauren: Well... I think I’m generally the crazier one in class. I share with Maggie so it doesn’t become too taxing. So, in comparison to me and Maggie, yes, she is definitely normal. I don’t know much about how she is outside of class. She at least seems fascinated by you guys.

Freud: I vish you vould heve esked us first.

Lauren: I would have but no one other than me can see you. And besides, I’m the boss of you, not the other way around. The day you start bossing me around is the day I’ve developed a third mental disorder and I’m not up to that. So... no over achieving. The anxiety and dysthymia are more than enough.

Magda: What about Rochester? Or Cooper? Or... Mr. Plunk?

Lauren: I can only have so many manifestations of my insanity loose at once. Besides, no one in my class understands that Rochester is a Canadian leprechaun. I’ve tried explaining his immigration after the Leprechaun Uprisings but I just get blank stares. As for Cooper, he doesn’t say enough and Mr. Plunk says all too much. Besides, I’m the writer. This argument is closed.


Thankfully, they can’t go on strike because if they tried I can just imagine it away. Hehe! I’m a little excited to write this piece. We’ll see how it turns out. And I have actually said all of these things out loud in class. I’m used to the confused, blank stares. It makes me laugh. That and it’s shockingly easy and fun.

Lauren.