Today was uneventful. The boring kind. I spent a good deal of my waking hours attempting to sidestep potential embarrassment. I attract embarrassment like a magnet, I don’t usually mind because I don’t see it coming. This time, I totally see it coming. More on that come Monday.
Magda: Uh, Lauren?
Magda: Were you planning on bringing Rochester back? Like, anytime soon?
Lauren: Riiiight. Yeah. But you’ve heard about the ash cloud or whatever... flights are delayed and stuff.
Magda: Why did you send him there in the first place!
Lauren: I forgot about the ash cloud...
Magda SHAKING HEAD: You really do have the memory of a goldfish.
Lauren: Hey, I remembered where I sent him...
Mom: Hey, it’s ten o’clock and I’m still awake.
Lauren, LOOKING OVER: Yeah, you had coffee. That wine is going to knock you out in half an hour.
Mom: Can we skip this scene? I don’t like this scene.
Lauren: No. This is the scene where she becomes one of the guys. (We’re watching GI Jane)
Mom: You aren’t even watching!
Lauren: I am so!
Magda: You mean you aren’t listening to me? What about Rochester!
Lauren: Yeah, yeah.... I’ll deal with it.
Mom: Do you think Meeko likes it when you play with his feet?
Lauren: I don’t know. Probably.
Mom: How can they survive being dragged all that way with a plastic bag over their head? Ugh... if this is career training I’d be telling them all to f*ck off.
Magda: Lauren! Rochester! Now!
Lauren: Fine... (ROCHESTER APPEARS WITH A POP!)
Mom: Do I smell burning?
Lauren: You’re having a seizure.
Mom: Shut up.
Magda: Lauren, are you even going to apologize?
Lauren: I’m watching a movie! Shush! Sorry Rochester.
Rochester: You jerk!
Lauren: You’re the jerk... teach you to mess with me. Ugh... I hate it when Viggo Mortensen cracks his nose back in place. Gross.
Rochester: You aren’t even paying attention to me.
Lauren WAVES HIM OFF: Shush. The movie! Hey! I have an idea! I am now imagining you all as mute.
Rochester and Magda ATTEMPTING TO PROTEST BUT ONLY LOOKING LIKE GOLDFISH. (Ironic given Magda’s comment isn’t it?)
Lauren: Haha! I am so smart S-M-R-T! Suckas! I have super powas! And now I suggest you watch the movie.
Now that I have some peace, I’m going to enjoy the est of this movie and maybe try to write a chapter. My sleeping patterns are so messed up lately. Meh. Might as well make the best of it. Tomorrow I get to play bartender. Yippee!