Update

My foot is almost normal! If you’re willing to overlook the tie-dye effect my bruises are creating. It’s only swollen on the outside of my ankle now! SO EXCITED! I can walk without crutches! Though stairs are still difficult. On the upside, it means that I don’t HAVE to show up at lunch with my professor tomorrow clutching my crutches. I’ll probably still bring them though.

ROCHESTER: Now that that’s done with, do we get to talk again?

LAUREN: Like I could really stop you.

ROCHESTER: We have stories too!

LAUREN resigned: Knock yourself out.

ROCHESTER: Well, as you know Lauren hung out with her crazy friend Dana a while ago. They went to a restaurant and I was bored so I decided to tag along.

LAUREN: He means “tag along” by the way.

ROCHESTER: It’s my story! Anyway, Dana asked if any of Lauren’s imaginary friends were there so Lauren, being totally uncool, points me out. What does Dana do? She starts groping around where Lauren pointed. So friggin’ awkward.

LAUREN: I told her to stop...

ROCHESTER: You could have told her sooner!

LAUREN: You weren’t even supposed to be there. Alright, next story, Maggie, go!

MAGDA: I’ve been dying of boredom because Lauren isn’t doing anything. The only upside is when Lauren finally goes to bed and I can hang out with Frank. He’s stopped giving me insulation art though. I think it’s our two or three month anniversary?

LAUREN: You think?

MAGDA: Does a two or three month anniversary matter?

LAUREN: For an imaginary couple... yeah, I guess that’s an accomplishment. Freud?

FREUD: I heve made mach progress vith Cooper. I am very pleased. Speakink of vhich, vhy am I no longer helpink you vith your issues? Do you not need me anymore?

LAUREN: Totally need you. Just wait for September. Think of it as a vacation... a sabbatical if you will. So... what’s this progress?

FREUD: Esk him yourself.

LAUREN: Cooper, what’s up?

COOPER: I don’t understand the question.

LAUREN confused: I meant ‘how are you?’

COOPER: I don’t understand the question.

LAUREN: Freud, did you only teach him one sentence?

FREUD: I’m vorkink on it!

LAUREN: Okay, moving on to Mr. Plunk.

MR. PLUNK: I’m liking the legs! I can go everywhere! It’s so exciting!

LAUREN: Aren’t you glad I didn’t change you back!

MR. PLUNK: Can I keep them?

LAUREN: Uh, yeah... I think that actually helps Freud out... he was worried you might kill him in his sleep. You know... because of Cooper.

MR. PLUNK: I’m more capable of doing that now!

LAUREN imagines Mr. Plunk with one leg: Don’t even think about it. MR. PLUNK SPINS IN CIRCLES AS HE TRIES TO RUN AWAY.


Anyone have anything else to say? Everybody good? Everyone all updated now? Good. I’m going to bed. Or at least going to read or something. I’m temporarily bored with my novel. I hate the first three or four chapters... after that everything starts to heat up and get interesting. It’ll get done.

Lauren.