A Day of Beauty

I had a very boring day. I mostly cleaned, watched TV and cooked supper. I just can’t bring myself to put you through reading about that.

Freud: Don’t forget, you also spent much time sitting doing nothing, reading and taking zat bubble bath.

Lauren: I’m going to be really mad if you tell me you were “observing” me during my bath.

Freud: Please... you are not my type.

Lauren: Great. Now I don’t know whether to be relieved or insulted or still angry that you haven’t denied being there.

Freud: It iss not my fault. You were sinking and vhen you sink, I am there. I vas on ze ozer side of ze curtain if zat makes you feel better.

Lauren: No... it doesn’t. Unless you flushed yourself down the toilet while you were hanging out.

Freud: If I vould heve, I vould be drippink all over your clean floors.

Lauren: You have a point.

Freud: Vhat vas it you vere sinking about? You vere very concentrated.

Lauren: How is it you can know that I’m thinking but not know what I’m thinking?

Freud: Does is really matter? I do not know, I can see you. It iss simply ze vay sings are.

Lauren: I don’t want to talk about it. Really. Thinking about it is draining enough. Get it, draining, cause I was in the bath.

Freud ROLLING HIS EYES: And your ability to tell a decent joke apparently vent right along vith ze dirty vater. Honestly, vhy do you keep me around if you don’t vant to speak vith me?

Lauren: I like annoying you? You amuse me.

Freud: I amuse you? How exactly do I manage zis?

Lauren SHRUGGING: Depends on the day. THINKING. For instance, since I’m bored out of my skull today, I’ve decided we’re going to give you a beauty makeover! Maggie! Quick come help me! Cooper tie him down! IMAGINARY FRIENDS DO LAUREN’S BIDDING WHILE FREUD STRUGGLES AGAINST THEM.

60 MINUTES LATER...

Lauren: You look awesome. Thanks for letting us do this. And the new glasses, very Sally Jessie Raphael.

Freud: I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT AND I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT CONSENT TO YOUR SILLY ALTERATIONS! GET RID OF ZESE RIDICULOUS EAR RINGS! AND GET ZAT RING OUT OF MY NOSE!

Rochester: I like it. Kind of looks like there’s a booger that won’t go away. And the bling... it adds a little something something.

Magda: So... if Freud were trying to be...hip this is what he’d look like? I like it. Cooper can you hold him down a second longer while I get my camera?

Cooper: HOLDING DOWN!

Lauren: Thanks Cooper, you’re such a great sport. COOPER BLUSHES AND SMILES

Magda: Alright everyone, I think this is as good a time as any for a group photo! Everyone jump in around Grumbly McGrumblerson. EVERYONE CROWDS AROUND FREUD.

Freud: ABSOLUTELY NOT! NOT VHEN I LOOK LIKE ZIS! YOU ARE NOT MY ONLY PATIENT LAUREN! DOES ZIS DYE COME OUT! bright flash of light I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU ALL!

Lauren: Well that’s a very strong statement. Do you want to talk about it?


Hehehe! He’s pretty pissed. We didn’t pierce him, the rings will come out and he will be unharmed. The dye on the other hand will be there a bit longer. And the Mohawk... well, those extensions were very difficult to put on so he will be keeping it for a while.

Freud: LAUREN I VILL GET YOU FOR ZIS!

I’d better go...

Lauren.