Sarcastic to a fault and an undercover optimist, this is the weird little world that is my life. For some reason and in spite of being really boring, all kinds of wonderful, funny things happen to me. This is my writing experiment. How it’ll turn out or what I’m trying to do, I’ll find out somewhere along the way.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Herbal Essences Question

Two quick announcements before I get to the rest of today’s post.

Firstly! The CO2 emergency of yesterday was a false alarm. Our detector was apparently old and defective. It did however bring three firemen to my home. None of them female. Darn. I was having fun entertaining damsel in distress scenarios. Anyway, three men, one bald, one with short hair and one with bed head. Bed Head must have been close to seven feet tall. Who needs a ladder? In any case I would rather be safe than sorry. Well, I wouldn’t have been very sorry... I’d be dead. So, my statement about having working alarms stands.

Secondly! The paper from hell, the history thesis, my nemesis, has finally been defeated. Lauren beats paper! With my brain, not scissors! God, I’m so glad that’s over with. I’ll revise it tomorrow, hand it in and officially be done fourth year. If you’re curious as to why this paper was so evil, this was my thesis:

“In order to keep Britain ahead of other nations, medical and scientific professionals sought by means of physiognomy, phrenology and especially eugenics to manufacture a nationalist, elite citizenry that would guarantee British racial superiority. In reality however, their endeavours only succeeded in accomplishing greater class stratification which further marginalized and subordinated the working classes and women to the upper classes of society.”

To be clear, this is nineteenth century Britain and very early twentieth century. My latest primary source is from 1911. Why I chose that topic? No idea.

And now on the today’s post.

Dear Herbal Essences People,

I am very fond of your shampoo and conditioner. It smells really good and my hair is extremely soft. I would pet my hair all day if that weren’t creepy. I do however have a complaint. What is with the teeny tiny writing on your bottles? I can’t tell what is what. The other day, I shampooed my hair twice and did not condition. I have fine, frizzy hair. I need to condition.

Why can’t all the writing be the same size as the words “Herbal Essences”? I can see that. Everything else I need my glasses for and one cannot wear glasses in the shower. They fog up and further limit my ability to see. I’m sure you understand my dilemma. If not, perhaps this will clarify things: I’M BLIND DAMMIT, WORK WITH ME!




All I see is a white line. White lines don’t tell me anything! Unless I’m driving... but I never wash my hair while driving. That’s just dangerous.

Other than that, I do have a question. When it comes out of the bottle, the shampoo is blue, but when it’s all sudsy in the bottom of my shower, the bubbles are white. Where does the blue go? My hair is still brown so I’m pretty sure that’s not the answer. How does it magically change from blue to white? I have pink body wash and even the bubbles stay pink. I’m on to you... there’s something going on here...


I’m watching you Herbal Essences! Can you feel me watching you? ‘Cause I totally am!

Lauren.

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