Grey's Ripping Off Glee

Weird day. I was busy, but spent most of the day on my ass. I was reading. This time it’s Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte.

I’m actually really enjoying it! I wish I had more time. It’s freaking me out how quickly I’m getting through it. It’s not nearly as dense as Shirley or the other novels we’ve read for class, it has a much faster pace and really great characters. In the other novels I’ve read this semester, I’ve found the characters to be... flat, kind of like caricatures and stereotypes. But I love how you can actually see changes in Tenant. Not that I approve of violence, but Gilbert gets so frustrated and hurt and angry that he attacks his friend. You can see the build up that led him to it. And the heroine! She’s quite different from others I’ve read, particularly for this class. She does Victorian propriety, but she also challenges it. I’m fascinated by Helen. Also interesting, none of the female authors we’ve looked at have taken on the perspective of a male narrator. And I feel like she does it well. There’s the hyper masculinity aspect, but also tenderness and a soft side.

Alas, I should probably comment on Grey’s Anatomy as well. The first thing that comes to mind is: were they trying to rip off Glee?

I was okay with Callie singing. She’s having an out of body experience, she can actually sing, cool. I wasn’t so cool with the out of body experience extending to the rest of the cast. It was lovely for a while, kind of different, but holy crap! Excessive? They totally went overboard. I was like, “Yes, pretty singing, NOW ON WITH THE SURGERY! Callie’s dying! NO MORE SINGING!” Although, I must say, the singing was pretty. Also, special shout out to Karev: a whole whack of bad things happen at your hospital, thank you for acknowledging. As to the episode itself, I’m quite happy my prediction didn’t come true. I had three:

1. That the baby would die (thereby resolving the Callie/Arizona/Mark triangle)


2. Arizona would die (thereby resolving the Callie/Arizona/Mark triangle)


3. Callie would die but the baby would live, resolving the triangle, but creating a crapload of conflict between Arizona and Mark that could take them well into season 30.

But, I’m a happy ending whore so I’m happy. Or I will be should Lexi remain with Avery. I cannot stomach yet another attempt at Lexi/Mark. Are they called Lerk? Lexma? Mexi? Male? Regardless, how many times have they revived that sucker? Really, at some point, it’s just gotta die. For the love of God, let it die.

Final random thoughts: What is Teddy’s problem? I liked Meredith’s breakdown moment. Loved Hunt taking charge and telling everyone to chill (even if he did it in song). Good stuff. Just... leave the musicals to Glee from now on and all will be well.

Lauren.

Short Post, Long Day

Today was long. Long day of school. On the bright side, I found some good research material. I managed to write a little. My paper didn’t sound completely dreadful when I presented my idea to my seminar. The book I’ve been waiting for finally came! A friend bought me The Story of the Little Mole who knew it was none of his Business. It’s a picture book about a mole that gets pooped on. I’ve heard it described as ‘a modern mystery thriller’. If you find it, give it a read. I have the plop up edition. It adds considerably to the gross out factor.

As of right now I’m sitting in my recently cleaned room, hot chocolate at my side, watching a movie. I don’t know why I’m still awake. I’m sure there’s a reason... but I don’t quite know what it is. I’m watching Gray Matters. It’s the story of a woman who is really close to her brother who only finds out she’s gay when she falls for her brother’s fiancée/wife. The main character is neurotic, a little different, she rambles constantly and has a movie reference for everything. I have nothing in common with her at all. It’s full of sweet, funny, corn-tastic moments. Kind of nice after a long day.

One week left of class. One week. Seven days! Seven days and one Victorian novel stand between me and freedom! Ugh... I have to find a job now. I did a bad thing the other day. I was looking into grad schools again and I found that I actually really liked what I’d seen of the Creative Writing program at NYU. I know I said I was considering New York before, but that was just to get my parents on board with the whole MA scheme. I mean, I also suggested Alaska. Now New York is seriously on the list... kind of high on the list. Definitely need a job.

I guess it really is true. Nothing worth doing is ever easy.

Lauren.

The Oprah Thesis

I’m feeling really scattered today. I didn’t physically do much, but my brain travelled everywhere.

I finally figured out what my thesis is about, hopefully. Let me know what you think of: “The scientific basis of physiognomy and phrenology developed in tandem and when combined with eugenic ideology provided the foundation for scientific discrimination.” Or something along those lines. But that’s academic. My other thesis today involves Oprah and Star Wars.

Has anyone ever noticed a certain degree of similarity between Oprah and Star Wars? (Fans please forgive me).

So here’s Oprah with this massive influence in countless types of media. She’s on TV, she’s in print, on radio, she has a book club, magazine, cookbook and! well, we all know. She is the leader of the empire, the dude that gets electrocuted (or has lightning fingers) and controls Darth Vader. Though there is no physical resemblance.



Darth Vader would be Dr. Phil. He controls people’s minds with the power of the force of psychology. And there is a bit of a physical resemblance. You know... when Vader takes off the helmet? Plus, he's a lesser lackey of the Emperor/Oprah. And was made by the Emperor/Oprah.



The Death Star would be Oprah's HQ. She must have an HQ... Anyone with power needs a head quarters. Would that be Harpo? I dunno.



But I didn’t think it through beyond that.

I did have a really weird and unrelated dream though. My grade seven math/gym/religion teacher was leading a musical theatre club. The cast of Glee made up the club. At least most of it. I remember Finn, Puck, Rachel and Quinn. For some reason I was there. We were getting ready to perform a play and I had to be in it, swaying the background. Then for some reason my grade seven teacher offered me a real role in the next production in spite of the fact that even in my dream, I told her I can’t sing. But I was excited for some unfathomable reason. I don’t remember how it ends because I think I started dreaming about something else entirely. Something to do with horses and two girls and getting married on a piece of lined paper.

In closing, I discovered that my thoughts are too random and scattered to be any good at The Family Feud. I still maintain that a thong is an item of clothing a young woman would wear that would be really wrong looking on her grandmother.

So... random thoughts today. Hope you enjoyed.

Lauren.

Old News Needs Bigger Print

For years now I’ve been studying European history. I’ve studied Europe in general from the medieval to the modern period. I’ve studied more specific time periods. I’ve studied specific events, specific political systems. This year I studied a specific country and a specific time period. Although, thanks to years of English classes, I’ve actually been studying Victorian Britain most of all.


I’ve learned a lot over the years. For instance, Victorians were totally OCD over newspapers. Not only were a bunch printed daily, but people would read more than one daily. Also, many people have probably noticed this, but no one writes like the Victorians. Nowhere else have I seen a paragraph take up two pages of a novel. They were pretty nifty people those Victorian Brits.


In all my years of study however, I never thought to ask this question. I’m shocked it never occurred to me before. One of my professors gave us an assignment: to find a newspaper from April 10, 1848. It wasn’t very difficult. Our library actually has digital access to The Times. So I found the paper The Times put out on April 10, 1848. Wanna take a wild guess at what my first thought was? I’ll give you options. Was it:

1. Holy crap! History! This could only be better if I was holding it in reality!


2. WTF? I can’t read that!


3. I wonder what it would smell like...

Maybe this will help you. Though I must admit, now that I’ve put it out there, I am kind of wondering what it would smell like, which I suppose also kind of implies a). I know... weird, but I tend to like the smell of books and paper. You can get a pretty good idea of where something’s been stored by its smell... you know... mothballs (probably locked away, forgotten in an attic or basement), cigarette smoke (bookshelf or table in common/high traffic area), dust (bookshelf, never moved)... I’ll stop now. The answer was b). Look how friggin’ tiny that writing is!


This brings me to the question that had never been thought and has never been answered: On average, how many Victorians wore glasses? How else could they see that? Or did they read with magnifying glasses. Or opera glasses? The common denominator here appears to be glasses. Of course, I could always assume that my eyesight has been marred by years of staring at computer screens.


In conclusion, I will not likely get black-lung or VD, but the Victorians could see better than me? One of my papers is all about evolution and degeneration. Have we simultaneously evolved and degenerated? Let’s all think about that and take it back up tomorrow.


Oh, one more thing. Thank God for PDFs. Magnification: 50%.


Lauren.

A Picture Book for a Paper

Another quiet day here in Laurenland. Yes, I spent the majority of today procrastinating. It’s getting very difficult to motivate myself to do school work. I have two weeks left and I really, truly couldn’t care less at this point. Particularly for one class, but I’ll get into more detail about that once my final grades are in.

I did some reading for my history essay. I have to present my topic on Wednesday. Considering I don’t exactly know what that is yet... it’s going to be an interesting two days. Vague ideas are floating around in my head, but I’m nowhere near thesis stage. Maybe I’ll write a story instead.

Once upon a time, there was a man with a face. Yes, he had a face, but his eyebrows were slanted in a peculiar way, his eyes were a touch far apart, his chin was angular and pointed upward at a sharp and unappealing angle, his nose was more like a beak and his mouth! Oh, his mouth had a most unpleasant twitch. In short reader, this man, was a man of ill repute, ill intentioned and ill suited to being seen in daylight hours. On the other hand, our hero was perfectly proportioned, perfectly fair and in possession of the most wonderful wit and deportment. He would be the man to put a stop to the previous man’s shenanigans. But there must be a romantic lead! The heroine was a petite woman, fair, delicate in every way and with most appropriately womanly features known to man. Of course she was intelligent, but not too intelligent, she loved to read but only vapid melodrama and naturally, she practiced all the arts of her sex with an uncommon degree of excellence. Throughout the course of their adventure, the characters would battle propriety, industrialization, imperialism, a changing economy, a broadening democracy and ever increasing urbanization! And at the end, when all the problems come to a head, I’ll just have the heroes move to a foreign country as a means of solving all the issues I’ve brought up. Because that’s what Victorian social problem novels do.

So... I’ve probably been hanging out in the Victorian era a bit too much. And I just wanted to use the word shenanigans somewhere. That’s where it came out. I kind of want to write a historical novel now... ugh... I’ll go through the notebooks when I finish school. Though I probably won’t get that carried away with physiognomy. Can you imagine? Maybe I could make it a picture book. Here’s what the villain could look like. I bet Victorian physiognomists would have loooooved this.

Anyway, I shall see you all tomorrow. I’m off to bed.

Lauren

Colour Me Blue -- A Pride Question

Not a very productive day. I lazed about. My day began with my mom’s friend calling around ten and yelling at me when I answered the phone.

Friend: Did I wake you up?

Lauren: As a matter of fact you did.

Friend: How is it that you’re up with the bloody birds when we go camping and you’re still in bed..!!!!!”

Lauren: That would be true if this wasn’t Lauren.

Friend: Oh, well in that case, you should be getting up.

She’s a goofball and in her defence, she is not the only person to mix me up with my mom on the phone. It happens all the time.

Later I just watched some movies with friends while my parents played cards with their friends. Random tidbit, if you point at an energetic Yorkshire terrier and say very firmly: “Dance puppy, dance!” it will get up on its hind legs and jump about. I tried it. It really does work.

And aside from all that, I think my thought of the day will be on the notion of ‘coming out’. It doesn’t really bother me anymore to tell people that I’m gay. I don’t introduce myself, ‘hi, I’m Lauren and I’m gay’ mind you but if the topic comes up, I can and do tell people. What kind of gets... I don’t even know the word... is coming out over and over and over and over again. Every time I meet a new person I have to come out. Repetitive? Sometimes I feel like my sexuality is some weird growth on some part of my body that I have to explain. I don’t mind exactly, but why do people assume I’m straight? Why do we assume anyone is straight or gay or whatever? If I’m not hitting on you, why is it important?

This may sound silly, but sometimes I wish gay was just obvious. Like... skin colour. I dunno what colour gay people’s skin would be, but it would save us a lot of time and energy. People would understand from the beginning that “yup, this is just the way you were born”. There would be no coming out and therefore no fear, no anxiety or depression around coming out. I’d be able to look at a woman and know before I fell for her if she’s gay or not. And maybe if it was a skin colour, we’d be recognized in government and schools because there wouldn’t be any bullshit about no one in the room being gay, no one in the school is gay, no one in the country is gay. We all recognize racism as being wrong but somehow homosexuality is a controversial issue. Colour me blue and take the issue off the table.

Well... that turned into an unexpected rant. I hope this didn’t somehow sound racist... not what I meant if it did. I guess I would rather be a visible minority than an invisible one. Shall I wrap this up on the note of “Food for thought”?

Lauren.

My Future Holds...

I didn’t do a whole lot today. I’m slowly falling out of school mode. Which is unfortunate considering I still have school work to finish. Still, I went to class, wrote a review and went to a meeting. Good stuff. But who gives a crap about that. Shall I move on to what I discovered yesterday at my psychic reading? Yes Lauren, please tell us! Well alright, since you said please and I have total control over what I write.

Some stuff I already knew. I knew that I have an old soul. I didn’t however know that I was in my last few lives. Kind of neat right? This is what My Name Is Memory by Ann Brashares is about. It’s a good book. Worth the read for its interesting perspective on souls. But yeah, that’s beside the point. I also discovered that I did live in nineteenth century England. Which I’ve suspected for some time but it’s now been confirmed.

Among the creepier things. The psychic knew that I was creative and got onto writing. Before that however, she said that my education hadn’t gone far enough. Given that I’m only now getting the first of my three intended degrees, I guessed that she was talking about my future. Later she asked if I would ever consider living in southern Ontario, like to Toronto or Guelph. I want to attend the University of Guelph, more specifically the Humber campus in Toronto. Creepy? She also said that I may live there a little while after my masters. Which I’d been considering but hadn’t really told anyone. All of this makes me think that I was destined to meet my unnamed prof.

She also started talking about Veronica. We hadn’t been talking about her and I didn’t mention her at all throughout. She said that there might be a plan to meet up. Which is creepy because Jenny (who lives near where Veronica lives) asked me if I’d come to a party she’d be throwing in her hometown. I didn’t even think about the connection until I got home.

Other than that, she assures me that I will get married. That makes me happy because I now have greater confidence that there’s someone out there secure enough in her sanity to take me on. You go girl! According to the psychic, I’ll also, or we’ll I guess, have two kids (she guesses the first is a boy) and that I will get my dream house. I am sceptical at this much good ever happening to me, but it’s nice to think that the universe might align in such a manner that I could have it all. Do these sorts of things happen to regular people?

I guess we’ll see.

Lauren.

Birthday No. 22

Whew! It's been quite a day! I don't think I've had a birthday this fun in a while. Yup, I'm now 22. So, so old...

I can't write much today because I still have to write up a short paper, but I will fill you all in on the details tomorrow. Actually, the details will likely be better tomorrow.

We went out to dinner, just me and my family. It was nice. Everyone enjoyed their food. My sister enjoyed the bread. That's all she ate. Bread. And then what's essentially deep fried bread. And she's still like a size four... God I can't wait for her metabolism to slow... I mean... I'm going to watch what I eat and exercise regularly from now on... Don't be silly! Of course I'm not jealous!

After that we drove out to my parent's friends' house. I saw two deer on the way there. One was about five feet from the road. Somehow my parents didn't see it. I still haven't figured that one out. I don't think I was hallucinating. I'm just glad it didn't jump out in front of us. Once at their house, I played with their dogs. The one is huge... he slimed me. Gross. The other is a Yorkshire and she fits in one of my hands. She enjoyed eating my fingers. I washed my hands thoroughly several times.

But the really neat thing is that we were all going to have a psychic reading done. I ended up going second. I'd never had one done before. It was a very neat experience. I don't remember everything she said, but I have it recorded so I'll post more about this tomorrow when I have more time.

And now a highlight to tide you over: (this is not a transcript)

Psychic: So, do you have a crush on anyone right now? I picking something up.

Lauren: Yeah, kinda.

She goes on telling me this and that, all with male pronouns. Finally she asks:

Psychic: What's his name?

Lauren: History Girl Version 2.0 (I won't tell you what her name is but it's unmistakeably feminine. It's a very, very feminine name.)

She kind of froze for a minute, seemed to be mulling that over. It was a bit funny for me actually. My dad thought it was hysterical when I told my parents about it later. He must have laughed for five minutes. I think it's the first time I've gotten a good humoured laugh out of him for being gay. I will take it!

But yeah, she did say some really interesting stuff, stuff that was right and unprompted. She started talking about Veronica at some point and I never mentioned her. I didn't even mention her after she brought it up. It's particularly funny because I'd told Veronica that I would tell her everything once I got home. And the topic of Veronica kind of came up randomly.

So, I'll leave you pondering the question of whether you believe or not. Tomorrow I'll talk about this some more. I just really do not have the time tonight.

A good day though. I had fun.

Lauren.

3-2-1 NERD-OFF!

Today was a day of prolonged nerding-off.

In the stats tab on blogger, I can see search terms that have been used to wind up at my blog. I had a very strange moment of total giddiness at seeing that someone had typed “Judith Walkowitz Jack the Ripper” and found me. I couldn’t believe it. We read most of City of Dreadful Delight in seminar. Most of the people I know absolutely hate reading her. I like her writing. It’s interesting. Plus, she’s pretty much the current authority on prostitution in Victorian Britain. It’s cool okay! Especially since I only wrote like, two sentences about her...

Later, in my Victoria’s Britain seminar, we were going around the table talking about what our thesis papers were on. A few people were having trouble finding primary sources. Enter Lauren. Even before university I was reading Victorian literature and literature happens to count as a primary source. I’ve spent the majority of my time in this class not talking. Almost stubbornly not talking. Today of all days I was talking every five seconds. I think I may have scared people. I felt a little like an encyclopaedia. I suggested people look at texts by William Blake (The Chimney Sweeper), Charles Dickens (David Copperfield), Rudyard Kipling (Without Benefit of Clergy), Dante Gabriel Rossetti (Jenny and one of his paintings), Elizabeth Gaskell (Mary Barton)... Okay, I scared myself.

Truth be told, I could not remember the title of the Rudyard Kipling story I was talking about. It was driving me insane. Absolutely insane. I spent about an hour after class googling logical terms like "Rudyard Kipling" or "Rudyard Kipling fiction". And then I just lost it. My friends suggested that I type in what the story was about and see how that worked. I ended up typing something along the lines of "Rudyard Kipling, soldier marries Indian woman, goat sacrifice." That's all I could remember. Not surprisingly, I got nothing. One of my friends managed to find the title... I felt better afterward.

Once I got home, I helped a friend plan out her essay. We used Post Its. They’re very useful for when you have ideas but you aren’t exactly sure how you want to structure things. You can move them around and visually see how your essay/whatever is being organized. Plus you can colour code things and that’s helpful too.

Like I said: NERD-OFF!

I really need to get out of school. Things are just getting scary. Anyway, I’m tired so I’m afraid that’s it for today. Tomorrow should be interesting. My parents are taking me out for supper and then I get to go see a psychic. Should be fun.

Lauren.

What You Should Know About Your Clothes

Okay, no Glee... that makes me sad. What makes me sadder is that something happened to my back, I don't know what, and it friggin' hurts. This had better be a one day thing. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, I don't remember popping or cracking anything, I don't know what the hell happened. One minute I was fine, the next, my back hurt. Is this a version of divine punishment? Like... smiting was too severe but a few Hail Marys wasn't enough? I'll Hail Mary! I know it in two languages! I'll alternate!

Not a whole lot to say about today aside from that. Got a paper back, handed a paper in, sat through a lecture on 1848 communism. Was less than surprised to find out that in the eyes of 1848 Victorians that our society today would be considered communist. LE GASP! Yes, I was so shocked I added a 'le' in front of it. Although, I don't know if gasp is masculine or not. I'm going to say it is because it sounds even dumber with 'la' gasp. That just makes no sense.

I know... French is weird... everything has a gender... For the hell of it, consider this:

Your pants are masculine (though your legs are feminine). Your shirt is feminine (though your arms are masculine). Your bra is feminine (though your boobs are masculine). Your socks are masculine (as are your feet). Your undershirt is feminine. Your skirt is feminine. Your hat is masculine (but your head isn't). The stuff I didn't mention is either because I can't remember the French word at the moment or there's more than one French word and therefore more than one gender. Let us take a moment to observe what is going into and onto what. Has everyone giggled and come to a conclusion? (My feet are gay? What?!) Good. Moving on.

I also had a random thought about The Golden Compass. I was reading my research for my ever changing physiognomy essay and in one of the articles, the author was talking about ascribing animal physiognomy to humans. Meaning traits associated with animals being given to humans. The example he gave was lion-like courage or wise owl. Anyway, that got me to thinking about the daemons in The Golden Compass. The daemons are the outward animal-manifestations of people's souls. Basically, what physiognomy is, is the study of character through facial features. It's attempting to read your soul, your personality, through your face. So, if you have your soul in the shape of an animal, visible outside your body, what does that say about you? Mr Philip Pullman, you are a crafty devil. It's like physiognomy on a whole different level! There's the physiognomy of the person, but also of their soul. Like two entities interacting separately but together, body apart from soul. So much to think about!!!

Did that make sense to anyone? I'm getting the impression that it was just me kind of rambling and writing out thoughts as they come. Let me know... clearly I have to think about this more. Either way, this random thought resulted in a hastily written email to my unnamed prof. I'm curious what she has to say about it.

That's all for today I'm afraid. I shall see you all tomorrow. Hopefully without a back ache.

Lauren.

Points of my Day

What I did today... let’s just point form it.

I failed to sleep last night and got up at six. So I was kinda conking out randomly throughout the day.

I went to Islamic Civ. I know I learned something interesting that I wanted to talk about but I forget and I’m too comfy to get my notes. Dang it. It was interesting too. Oh... I said that.

My sister and I, for some reason, were debating which character from Charmed we would be. Given that my sister’s friend was absent from class, we gave her Phoebe (Alyssa Milano) by default. Neither of us wanted to be the semi-ditzy, kinda slutty, never wears a bra witch. That left us with Piper (Holly Marie Combs) and Paige (Rose McGowan). We ignored Prue (Shannen Doherty) partially because she died and partially because she irritated us. By the end of our argument, it was decided that I would be Piper, the cranky, sarcastic, blows shit up when she’s pissed witch and my sister would be Paige, the bad anime character brought to life who has the power to disappear and reappear at will by travelling on pretty blue sparkles. Apparently the sparkles were what sold her.

When we got home I put phase... whatever phase I’m at, of my project into action. Basically it involved me drafting job descriptions and emailing them to professors in the education, business and accounting departments. I have never met any of those profs. I was asking them if any of their students fit the bill. So, we’ll see if I have interested people soon enough. Fingers crossed.

I wrote a completely random/awkward/funny family moment between two of my fave characters. Characters that I invented, not Quinn and Rachel from Glee. I haven’t gotten quite that involved yet. Except for that one time... It was my effort to procrastinate writing an essay I’ve decided my prof will hate. It’s about how John Barton’s storyline from Elizabeth Gaskell’s “Mary Barton” essentially mirrors The Communist Manifesto. It’s more of an inquiry than an essay. Shockingly, when I did get around to it, it didn’t take long to write at all. I’ll tell you Friday if my suspicions were correct about my prof hating it.

Finally, I sat down to watch Castle. It amuses me. Beckett is hot, has to be said. During the episode, I also managed to irritate my mother. She’s looking for a new hairstyle and asked me and my sister what shape her face was. My sister promptly shouted out octagon, while I shouted pentagon. We giggled over triangle and then I got onto circles. You know, from I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry? “It’s a circle. A circle has no end. It doesn’t have corners like a rectangle.” At that point my mom performed a spectacular headdesk, and while laughing her face off, asked why she bothered talking to us.

That woman deserves a medal.

And that was my day.

Lauren.

I Love Shoes

Here is a little known secret about me. I like shoes. I hate shoe shopping, but I really like shoes. You’d probably never guess by looking at me. I’ve had one pair since I was in high school. Aside from those, I can count how many pairs of shoes I have on one hand. And I don’t wear my cleats anymore. The thing is, I have big feet. Big feet + small community = not a lot of shoes for Lauren.

I go into stores and breathe in that new shoe smell. I find a shoe that I love, only to learn that the manufacturer has mistakenly assumed that women’s feet stop growing at size ten. Let me take this moment to set the record straight. Women’s feet continue to grow passed size ten. Some of us have size eleven, size twelve feet, some of us I’m sure have bigger feet than that. And God forbid we be a half size! Lord anything but that! So, most of my shoe shopping is done online these days. I kind of like it in that I can limit my results to my specifications, but at the same time, it’s annoying that I have to wait for the store to call me, let me know my shoes are in, go in, try them on, then decide if I really like them or not. Because obviously I can’t try on a picture of a shoe. If I don’t like them, the reverse process occurs and I get to wait for my MasterCard bill to see if I’ve been refunded. We all know how I feel about MasterCard:

Why the rant? Well, I was procrastinating again and realized that I should probably have some manner of dress shoe. Five of my cousins are getting married. I’ll probably be invited to at least one of their weddings... And according to the in-family gossip, the one wedding is going to be really formal. Dang it. I should scare the shit out of all of them by wearing a dress. Plus, if I do get into teacher’s college, I’ll have to do placements where I’ll actually teach and well, I probably shouldn’t be wearing my Nikes all the time.

I hopped online and began my search for dress shoes. The last time I went dress shoe shopping, I went to every store in town, seriously, every store, and no one had my size. When I was recounting this at school, my one teacher told me I should stop complaining because I didn’t have to find heels in a size thirteen. Well let me tell you, I looked at him and I told him that I would always have to find size eleven/eleven and half high heels, not just on Halloween. Ass. The point of the story however is that I found three pairs of shoes I really do like. One is a flat, the other a low heel and the other a high heel. They’re so pretty! I haven’t decided if I should buy just one pair or all of them. I’m usually quite cheap, but when it comes to shoes, I don’t pay much attention. My shoes last forever! And the reality is that I need shoes. Plus, if I walk out with at least one pair it’ll be worth my time. I’m merely increasing my odds.

Okay, so I’m probably buying at least two pairs... and possibly the third. No, I haven't bookmarked them... you can't see my favourites bar can you? Isn't someone going to talk me out of this?

Lauren.

B-Day Plans I Didn't See Coming

My birthday is coming up. I’m not very fond of my birthday. It’s just another day, I don’t feel different afterward, I don’t really like having everyone asking me what I want to do, what I want for a gift. I don’t like waiting on family members to call, then listening to them come up with some lame excuse as to why they didn’t. It’s very annoying. I’d rather they didn’t call at all.

Another reason I’m not fond of my birthday is that there’s always the expectation that I should do something special or different. I never really know what to do. Usually I drag my family out for dinner at a restaurant, we come home, have cake and open gifts, then we go our separate ways. This year I would have watched Grey’s Anatomy. I know, I’m ridiculously exciting.

My sister guaranteed that the restaurant tradition would stay intact. When my mom asked me if I wanted to go out for supper, my sister answered. I have no idea where we’ll be going, but we will be going somewhere. As for the after part, my parents’ friends invited my parents to see a psychic. I know, it sounds kind of silly but they did it last year and had a lot of fun. When their friends mentioned the date for the psychic visit this year, there was an awkward pause. I felt pretty sure my parents wanted to go, but wouldn’t because of me. Given that I wasn’t planning on doing anything and that our usual crap is done by about eight, I invited myself along. It’ll certainly be better than staying home alone or watching Arizona and Mark bicker. So, on my twenty second birthday, I will be seeing a psychic. Psychic-Reading Party?

I’ve never been to a psychic before. And I do believe in supernatural stuff. I believe in ghosts (having had numerous experiences, mostly when I worked at the restaurant), I believe that people can see certain things that others can’t. I mean, just because it hasn’t been proven and I can’t do it, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist or can’t be done. I wonder what she’ll say when she does my reading. The last time my mom went, she was told that my grandmother was there with her. I don’t think my mom ever actually met her. Creepy? What if I get to ask questions? I don’t know what I’d want to ask her. Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? What will she say to me? Show of hands, who got that joke?

Either way, I’ve promised to share her findings with Veronica when I get home. And of course, I’ll share them with you. Five days to go. What would you ask a psychic?

Lauren.

Can't Keep Time

What a day... I don’t usually have a whole lot to do on Fridays. I have one hour and a half class. That’s it. This year however, the morons who govern the university decided they would try a split schedule. As you can see, I approve of their decision wholeheartedly. What having a split schedule means is that on Tuesdays, my English seminar is at 2:00 o’clock but on Fridays it’s at 12:30 and finishes at 2:00 o’clock. I got through the entire semester without screwing up. Somehow, today, with only like six classes left, I screwed up.

I was feeling good, thinking I was going to get there early. So didn’t. I was over halfway to my class when I saw one of the girls in my class coming toward me. And then I saw another one. Somehow I didn’t figure out what that meant. I asked the second girl why everyone was going the other way. She just smiled and told me I mixed up my days. I ran up to class anyway because I had to hand in a paper. So disappointed. I was actually ready for this one! You'd think I'd have it down by now. I've had class at the exact same time all freakin' year.

I went back to the WC and did some work. I got a few things done so, that was good at least.

I'm in need of a treasurer (now being called a funding coordinator) for my project this summer. So today I wrote up what could essentially be called a job posting. I have no idea who would actually answer it given that it's entirely volunteer and requires a crapload of work, but I suppose we'll see. I do have two people on the exec with me. So people are out there.

My happy/good luck streak continues. The other day I bought a hot chocolate at Timmies. When I rolled up the rim, I won a coffee. Today, because I decided to redeem that free coffee and bought another hot chocolate (thankfully it doesn’t have to be coffee). When it came time to roll the rim up on that cup, I won another coffee.

My mom thinks I should buy a lottery ticket. I’ll look into it tomorrow.

Lauren.

All About Kris Kelly -- Not Ian

It seems that I have unintentionally offended someone by giving Ian a shout-out. So, I feel it is only fair that this post gush about the malcontent in question. Apparently just mentioning her in my returning characters list isn’t enough. I can’t do it just because she said so... or something like that. Now I have to think up something that can counter Ian’s mention. Since I’m not one to take chances on things like this, I think I’ll go with a few options... just to be safe.

First off, a sonnet.

Kris Kelly’s Sonnet

Here’s to Kris Kelly
A short, cheery blonde
She’s never smelly
Of her, I am fond
She gives me hugs when I walk by
Not something I let everyone do
If she were anyone else, she’d have a black eye
But I rather like the smell of her shampoo
She’s quite clever and entertaining
She kind of bounces when she walks
Being that happy should be draining
She always compliments people when she talks
That is Kris Kelly, my lovely blonde friend
And thank God this poem has come to an end

Is that enough? Is it just weird? Does that matter considering that it’s me? Okay, phase 2. Writing her name so big that it draws all attention to it.

KRIS KELLY! KRIS KELLY! KRIS KELLY!

Do I need a phase three? Ugh... so much effort. Umm... here’s what she’d look like if someone unskilled, like me, drew her in Paint.

In reality she has a neck, her hair is much better and her pants don't have outlines.

Do I need to put Ian down? Fine...

Ian will never be Kris Kelly! And why? Because the definition of Kris Kelly is:

Kind of silly
Really funny
Intelligent
Simply marvellous

Kangaroo?
Elegant
Lady
Lauren’s running out of words
Young?

God that was mean. He’ll never forgive me for that one. I hope you’re happy.

Okay, just because I like for things to be organized in fives, I have one last phase. Extravagant praise and outlandish excuses.

The reason I never mentioned you on my blog before is because I was afraid that if everyone in the world knew how great you were, that I would never see you again... And you know it’s true. Everyone would want to be your friend and then where would that leave me? ALONE! SO UTTERLY KRIS-LESS!

Hopefully she can forgive me now that I’ve written an entire post exclusively about her. Ian never got that. And PS, I did mention her before. She was the girl laughing at me for getting stuck in the bathroom last year. She’s apparently changed her tune and now wants her name on my blog.

So there you have it. Now you too know of the wonderful, unique, Kris Kelly.

Lauren (admirer of Kris Kelly)

Happy. Period.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day. But extremely good day. I’m so happy and excited that I’m pretty much disgusting myself. I must be scaring people who know me. I’m usually all... broody and cranky and now I’m all optimistic and... bouncy. It’s creepy. Seriously, today was so good it’s unnatural. I’ll prove it.

1. I slept well, AND slept in.
2. I finished all my reading
3. The book I’ve been waiting for came in the mail today
4. I got a birthday card from Veronica
5. I got a ride up to school
6. Got to talk to History Girl Version 2.0
7. Further readings in my history seminar were cancelled so we can work on our papers
8. In psych we did this really neat activity AND it ended early
9. I asked my prof if she’d be willing to consult on my secret project, she said yes (which rocks!)
10. I went out for supper with Jenny and it was super fun (and a reason I was glad class ended early because I was hungry.)

Do I sound obnoxiously happy? I feel obnoxiously happy.

Incidentally, my psych prof kind of went off on something of a rant about the “have a happy period” commercials. Her comment was: “What’s a happy period? No woman has a happy period”. While I agree that I hate that time of the month, I do have to argue that the “happy period” does exist. So, in response to her question: A happy period is when a woman sleeps with a really inappropriate partner, her period is late, she starts to panic that she’s pregnant, but then, her period arrives in all its miserable glory announcing that no, she will not be tied to that inappropriate partner for the rest of her natural born days. I believe it can also be called the “THANK GOD! I’M NEVER GETTING THAT DRUNK AGAIN! period. That is your history of the Period lesson. To the men who read my blog, I apologize for what has likely been a TMI moment.

Anywho, that’s all I have to say today.

Lauren

Shirley, Rachel, Finn, Quinn and Jack the Ripper...

Kind of a slow, boring day. I didn’t do a whole lot. I continued hating my seminar but I did manage to crack my essay. Wootness! I was planning on writing about how Shirley in Charlotte Bronte’s ‘Shirley’ is a lesbian. The problem was that I didn’t really have anything beyond that until now. Now, I actually have an argument as to why Bronte would have written her as a lesbian and how that functions in the novel. So, that feels good.

For my next trick: I shall figure out my thesis for my Victoria’s Britain seminar. I’ve been redirected by my professor because my last proposal sounded too much like an English paper. In my mind, not so much. When it comes out on paper, it’s like an English paper. If anyone comes up with something for me to argue relating to physiognomy and degeneration in Victorian England, don’t hesitate to comment.

Now, on to Glee!

UBER YAY FOR KURT AND BLAINE! –happy dance- At last! See, it’s because I stopped telling the TV people that it had to happen. Finally! Lauren likes. Now, let’s have a lovely, functional, long-lasting relationship. LET’S!

Quinn and Rachel. I actually really liked what happened there. It was bitchy but so clever and true to character. Where else does Quinn have to go? She hasn’t really given herself other options. Was it just me or did she not seem thrilled about the marrying Finn, becoming a real estate agent and staying in Lima plan? As much as Rachel’s life currently sucks, she has a future away from everything that is tormenting her. Right now, I only see Quinn growing up to be the former cheerleader with a zillion regrets. And what is it with Finn? I don’t get it! He is not that great! When he’s with Rachel he’s pining over Quinn. When he’s with Quinn he’s confused about Rachel. He just doesn’t seem to be particularly interested in either one. I get why Quinn wants (not necessarily loves) him, but I don’t really get why Rachel does.

The songs: Um... Santana’s song was... weird? Puck’s was... what can be expected of Puck. Kind of giggled about how Brittany’s favourite song is My Headband, Rachel’s craptastic first song. I liked the songs they performed although I do prefer Pink’s version of Raise Your Glass. Hehehe, song about Sue. Right on!

Unimportant side note: Loretta Devine a pole dancing nun? Okay, sure, I’ll buy that. Was the other twit supposed to be Sarah Palin or something?

I wish I could just watch more Glee! I have to go back to reading Judith Walkowitz’s take on Jack the Ripper. It’s not the most... uplifting reading. But it must get done! It will get done!

Lauren.

Genuine Optimism?

I have news today. Two things really. Maybe three. Depends on how you want to take it. I’ve been in therapy for about... we’ll say a third of my life. Three therapists and a dozen issues later brings us to now. My issues ranged from bullying trauma, physical appearance issues, depression, anxiety, what we discovered to be dysthemia, trust issues, coming out issues, family problems, school problems, friend problems. Mostly usual things that most people go through at some point or another.

The point of this dear bloggers, is that once again, I have finished therapy. I think it’s the second time I’ve posted about that, but I’ve never felt this good. I've probably said that too. I think a lot of that feeling good has come with age, a lot of it has come from learning about myself and still more of it has come from getting involved and finding things that I love. It feels like it’s taken forever but all things considered, I think I’m ahead of the curve in a lot of ways. In Angela’s words, I’ve found my niche. My reply of course, was “It’s taken me twenty two years to carve the damn thing, I’d better have found it.” So, we’ve left my file open in the event that I do go back, but my regular sessions are done. I’ve been going pretty much every two weeks for years. Considering how particular I am about routine, it’s going to be an adjustment. But a good one.

As a result of feeling good, I’ve ceased secretly believing that the world is out to get me. In a few weeks I will have my degree, I can start working on my novella which will be published in November, I’ll be working on a project I’ve wanted to work on all year, the first issue of the English journal should be published. Things are looking good. Everything feels like it’s falling into place. It’s a new and strange feeling, but certainly not unwelcome.

Which brings me to my project. Phase One is now complete! I have assembled what I believe will be a super squad of productive, ass-kicking, stereotype destroying, just all around super people. As an added bonus, I think they’re just as excited as I am. Hopefully we’ll be able to create something lasting. Fingers crossed.

I feel weird being this optimistic. I’m not generally an outwardly optimistic person. It usually comes out in sarcasm. What the hell? I’m scaring myself. Do good things really happen to good people?

Lauren.

Actively Random

You know when you’re about to start a new project and you’re really excited about it? That’s me right now. And it’s annoying because I don’t get to really jump into it for another month. Sad... I’m doing background work for the moment. That and looking to recruit people. And... harassing the people I’ve recruited. It’s not my fault! I’m THAT excited. More on this when I get my executive council together. I’ve talked about it before but now it’s starting!

Today... what did I do? Well, I wrote a mini-paper on Thomas Carlyle. Fun stuff. I can’t stand him. I think he’s a fave of my prof’s but he annoys me. He’s so... preachy and religiousy and the kind of Victorian I would have liked to pummel. I just finished reading his essay on Louis-Philippe. He was a little heavy handed with the biblical references but it was still entertaining. My favourite part? Easy: “Begone thou wretched upholstery...” Yeah, when Louis-Philippe fled France, the citizens apparently trashed his throne. There’s a whole whack of very descriptive images of Hell that follow so I’m taking it as a sign that Carlyle is making fun of the French. Why is it always the French?!

Anyway, I also did something very uncharacteristic. Sort of. I asked for the car in order to flee my home. My parents were installing new light fixtures. The loss of power and the shouting back and forth over what to do and who was right was not conducive to studying. So I went and hid in the WC. Unfortunately it was filled perfumey hygienic supplies (once a year we collect hygienic products then donate them to local shelters) and I happen to be hyper sensitive to perfume. I stayed anyway. It was less of a distraction than my family.

That’s the active part of my day. The rest of it I spent procrastinating. Actually, I watched Junior on TV. I hadn’t seen it in a really long time and I’d forgotten how funny it is. It’s a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito and Emma Thompson. Basically, Arnold is a scientist who tests his new drug on himself and becomes pregnant. Emma Thompson is the super clumsy, unsuspecting, scientist mother of Arnold’s child and Danny DeVito is the snarky fertility specialist. It plays on male and female pregnancy stereotypes. Emma Thompson gets to comment on patriarchy and men being arrogant while Danny DeVito gets to be the guy saying stuff like: “Do you know how many women I’ve heard say: why can’t a man do this? Then you do it and what do you get?” Meanwhile, Arnold is caught in the middle having mood swings, body issues and of course, a baby.



I think a major reason why this movie is as funny as it is, is because it’s Arnold and you associate him with ass kicking toughness. Among other things, you get to see him in drag, so, not really his typical role. It’s silly and good for a laugh. I recommend it.

And that was my day. Kind of all over the place and random but... well, that’s me. I will now be off to bed.

Lauren.

Vagina Monologues a Family Outing.

I had an interesting experience today. As part of IWW, Pride helped organize a showing of The Vagina Monologues. I’d never seen the show before and I wanted to go. I didn’t have time during the week so I wound up going to the Saturday showing. Since I wasn’t going with anyone, I asked my mom if she’d like to go with me. It took a bit of convincing but she finally said yes. Later, my sister also agreed to go. I asked my dad but he declined. Although, now having seen it, I think more men should go watch it.

My mom kept worrying about being the old lady. Which she wasn’t. It probably didn’t help that the show was being presented in the student bar.

It was pretty good. I had a few friends in the show, so watching them was amusing. The one is really giggly and she happened to be playing the woman with the pissed off vagina. She should rant more often. It’s very entertaining. Definitely a highlight. The best part however was the woman attempting to reclaim the word ‘cunt’. She was doing her thing on stage when all of a sudden I saw the look on my sister’s face. She looked so uncomfortable while trying really hard not to be. She’d sip at her drink as it if was nothing but it was pretty hilarious. My mom and Kat noticed as well and we all started laughing at her. I don’t know that my sister noticed. Absolute favourite part has to be “the moaner”. Kind of weird watching a girl faking orgasms on stage, but really funny. The look on her face was priceless, just too funny for words. And on the bright side, I may now be able to tolerate Justin Bieber a little more. They dedicated one of the moans to him. Needless to say, the moan was made up of the words “baby” and “oh”. Hehe. At last! I can smile when I hear that God awful song.

Credit to all of them for the great performance though. I couldn’t have gotten up on stage and done that. I can barely speak in class... forget trying to remember lines and say them without giggling nervously while in front of more than fifteen people.

Anyway, when it was over we were quick to leave. My sister was uncomfortable. My mom didn’t say a whole lot. I was perfectly at ease. I think they both enjoyed the show but felt uncomfortable seeing it with one another. Personally, I don’t get it. Maybe it’s from spending so much time in the WC and hearing people shouting “VAGINA!” or worse at random. Is it weird that I wasn’t uncomfortable? I’m really getting hard to embarrass.

Lauren.

Pride Activisting

I made it through another busy week. Things should be a little quieter from here on in. All my assignments are done except for my honours papers and a few short papers for seminar. To me, this means that I should be less of a basket case. The key word, as always, is ‘should'. I’ll also have a bit more time to get into my extracurricular projects. I’ve got four on the go at the moment, three for Pride and one for English. I’m actually really excited about them.

English: When I was still editing the WC paper, a professor expressed interest and had suggestions and ideas about publishing and content. I really liked her ideas and presented them to the other eds. Shortly thereafter, things between us went kaput, so I went back to that prof and asked her if she’d like to start an English paper separate from the WC paper. We’ve been working on it ever since. It’s kind of a hybrid academic journal meets creative writing magazine. It’s all going to be online (I’ve been working on the site) and it’s being presented to the department Monday. Articles are coming in and everything is starting to come together. I can’t wait to see the finished product.

Pride Project 1: The blog. I finished writing it a few weeks ago, but I’m waiting for some input before I publish it. I also have a few more ideas I might add. Before the end of the year though, it will be published and hopefully, helpful. I tried to have it cover ‘coming out tips’, stories, advice for parents and friends and campaigns that are going on presently. There’s also a list of resources and all that good stuff. I still have a ton of resources to add but I’m always finding new ones.

Pride Project 2: Possibly linking up Pride with our university’s counselling services so that we can provide peer counselling and mentorship to LGBTQ students. A big part of the problem with the gay community in our area is that it’s really hard to find. At least if we’re visible on campus, people (maybe even in the community at large) will know where to find us. At least some of us. Plus, there’s a little side benefit for Pride. We come to the end of our trial period this year. This program could show admin that we’re a good selling point for the university and that we do provide necessary and valuable services.

Pride Project 3: I’ve been waiting all year to do this. I want to go around to the high schools in the area and talk about sexuality and the problems LGBTQ kids are facing, hell, even straight kids have issues. I don’t just want to talk to students, but to teachers and principals as well. Maybe start changing the way people think or at least get them thinking if they weren’t before. Once the presentations are ready, we can take them into high schools, use them at the university, maybe even take them into businesses for something along the lines of (for lack of a better term) sensitivity training. I was hoping to start going around in April but that’s probably going to be pushed back to May. Even if schools don’t let us in (which is likely) I figure we can leave our info and guidance counsellors can pass it along.

So that’s what I’m up to. Kind of ambitious I know. But I like keeping busy and at this has the potential to help people. I’m hoping everything works out. Actually... recently I’ve been thinking of coming back to my hometown after my masters and making LGBTQ work my job. I love doing it... We’ll see.

Lauren.

Wasting Time Quizzes

Gah! Lost track of time!

Okay, so I did sleep in. Until noon which is highly unusual for me. I did not hear my parents leave this morning, I did not hear the snow blower chewing up about a foot of snow, I did not hear a single plough, I did not hear anything until the phone rang at noon. Scary. I may have been dead.

Not the most productive day. I did a little more work on the English Journal website. Then my anchors wouldn’t work so I got pissed and quit while I was ahead. I bought some movies and watched one while devouring Smartpop popcorn. Yes, it apparently smells like feet but it tastes good. As of now I’m taking pointless quizzes online. I blame my unnamed professor. She was looking through her lecture on The Golden Compass when I walked in. That got us to talking about which daemon we’d have, which then led to quiz sites. I’m taking these quizzes for three reasons: I’m not tired yet, I’m curious and most of all, I’m waiting for the dryer to stop so I can switch my load of laundry.

The analysis regarding my daemon is kind of long, but creepily accurate. I won’t post all of it but here’s a taste:

You are calm and logical, but not unemotional. You are an introvert, at heart, preferring to read alone than be subjected to the crush and noise of a big party or bar. You have a few friends and family, whose presence you welcome - to a point. Even they can wear on your nerves eventually, and you need to retreat back into your personal space for a while so you can recharge. Your energy comes in bursts, after which you need a long nap or a couple of evenings at home to recuperate.

You are comfortable with yourself, and reasonably confident. You want the friendship and goodwill of others, but you are not willing to sacrifice your principles in order to get it. If your close friends need something that you can provide, however, you will be the first to offer it.

It continues. But in the end, my daemon (the outward animal manifestation of my soul) would be: Peregrine Falcon, Snowy Owl, Snow Leopard, Siberian Tiger, Osprey.

http://helloquizzy.okcupid.com/tests/the-golden-compass-daemon-test

Is it tattooed on my forehead that I live in the North or something?

Naturally, I couldn’t just take one test... I found another one that intrigued me. This time it was a Harry Potter what’s your wand made of quiz. I’d never seen a quiz about that before so I had to check it out. My results were as follows:

10", Willow, Veela
A willow wand signifies that you care deeply about emotions, art, and intuition, and that you have a particular knack for charms. The veela hair as a wand core means that you are slightly unpredictable but very powerful.

To be clear for those of you who may not be familiar with Harry Potter, in the books, the Veela are super hot women who tend to magically capture the attention of men. Or apparently in my case, women. Weird?

http://helloquizzy.okcupid.com/tests/the-harry-potter-wand-test

Finally, just because it was there and I had to know, I also took the Who’s Your Harry Potter Husband test. What? I wanted to know who I’d be with if I was straight! As it turns out, I would be married to professor Remus Lupin. Apparently I like men who literally turn into dogs. Which is weird because as you may recall from my physio posts, that much body hair kind of grosses me out.

http://helloquizzy.okcupid.com/tests/the-harry-potter-husband-test

Oh the Internet! It also just so happens that my laundry is now done. Goodnight everyone! And let me know if you take any of these! I would be interested to know what you got.

Lauren

A Little Comatose

Not only was today a long day, it was a Lauren day. What am I talking about? I’m talking about when all sorts of dumb, crazy, unlucky things happen simultaneously in such a way that it could only possibly happen to me. You ready for this?

My insomnia kicked up again. Went to bed around 1:30 after I finished school stuff. I woke up around three and again around six. I gave up trying to sleep at that point. I jumped into homework instead.

At 11:20 I left to catch the bus. I’m pretty sure I either stepped in or kicked dog poo along the way. I noticed the poo at the last minute. I must have only kicked it because I was not followed by a foul odour for the remainder of my day.

By 1:00 I was in the Put this on the Map workshop. It was really good. It gave me ideas for my own project and I collected the email of an interested party. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to talk to the speakers. By the time the workshop ended and they’d filmed some videos it was 3:30 and I had to get to seminar.

Naturally I was on the part of the third floor that didn’t connect to the other half of the third floor. I ran downstairs, essentially crossed the hall, and ran back up another flight of stairs. I couldn’t be late because I was supposed to be leading the seminar along with another girl. I was just in time. History Girl Version 2.0 (who looked particularly lovely today) had enough time to fill me in on what I’d missed in Islamic Civ (which I had to skip) before our prof arrived. Fun story. I hate talking in class. Hate it. My partner was going to do most of the talking. She caught strep throat. She still came to class but she was blowing her nose every five seconds and truly did look awful. I felt like a jackass every time she answered or asked a question.

At about 5:34 seminar ended. I ran down the stairs to the first floor and into my prof’s office. I was four minutes late for our meeting. The journal is moving along. The website is mostly done. I spent a few hours tonight linking everything up and playing with fonts. My HTML is a little rusty. On the upside W3 has a bunch of code on their website.

We worked on the site for about an hour and then I had to run across the school and up a flight of stairs to my psych class. I pity our prof. She really likes class participation and tries to get everyone involved so it’s not so long. But I was beat by then and I didn’t care. I feel bad that I don’t care, but really? I ate my supper while taking notes on Eric Erikson’s eight stages of development. I was grateful that class ended early in part because I was tired, but also because there was a really bad snow storm that I didn’t want to test.

If all goes according to plan, I’m going to be sleeping in tomorrow. Let anyone try to stop me.

Lauren.

OMG (Oh my Glee)!

AGH! So much to do!

Tonight I went out with the Pride Exec. The GESJ (gender equality and social justice) profs took us out for dinner along with the director of and a speaker for Put this on the Map. Later I went to a screening of their documentary. It was really good, very thought provoking. It was all about re-teaching gender and sexuality. It’s particularly awesome because for a while now, I’ve been wanting to get into high schools to do just that. Tomorrow they’re having a seminar which I will be skipping class to attend. I’m excited! I actually had no idea how I was going to go about it, but I’m getting ideas! YAY! And tomorrow I’ll get to pester the speakers with questions. Mwahahaha!

So here’s a little clip explaining what they’re about.

Reteaching Gender and Sexuality from PUT THIS ON THE MAP on Vimeo.

ALSO! BECAUSE HOW CAN I NOT! GLEE!

Oh my goodness! My heart broke for Santana. I suspected, I mean, who didn’t, but that was horrible. Unfortunately realistic but horrible and heartbreaking. And I love that she refused to let Rachel label her. LOVE IT! I’m talking standing ovation, screaming at the TV, love it. Sexuality is personal, it is fluid, and most of the time, it doesn’t fit in a box. Putting a label on it is ridiculous because it shouldn’t matter to others “what you are”. It shouldn’t matter because “what you are” doesn’t matter. It’s WHO you are that does. Personally, I’d like to think that if a guy totally swept me off my feet and I fell in love with him that I would be with him. It just so happens that at this point in my life, I haven’t been attracted to a man. The key word is obviously "shouldn't". I thought Artie and Brittany were cute, but come on! Santana gets Brittany! It’s supposed to be!

Puck and Lauren. Those two never cease to amuse me. I’m unreasonably happy that Puck seems to have clued in. I love how he’s so... seemingly stupid, but somehow introspective enough to try to change himself. He’s so blunt about it too. Thankfully the sex video didn’t happen. That would have been all kinds of... awful and weird. I’d have been pissed.

Kurt. I love that storyline. It’s so true. Sex Ed in schools is so deficient (I’ll say generally) when it comes to heterosexual intercourse. I considered my school a pretty open and safe place but never was a word spoken about any type of intercourse other than heterosexual. So yay Blaine for putting Burt onto that deficiency and not taking responsibility for it himself and yay Burt for being a good dad.

This episode fit in so well with the documentary from tonight it was slightly insane. I loved this episode. So much so that I’m not even going to bitch about Finn’s stupidity. Believe me, I could find a way. I actually do think (in spite of my love of Faberry) that Finn and Quinn are supposed to be a couple. I think they’re at the same level. I guess I’ll switch my loyalties over to Brittana.

I hope that Santana gets what she wants. That was just... painful. I’ve been there. Twice. And it was that incredibly painful both times. I’ll be watching and siding with Santana from now on.

Lauren.

Pants Rant

It was a quiet day. I went to class. Did some reading. Went to a meeting about the health and wellness of LGBT individuals in my community. We all agreed our community kind of really sucks LGBT wise. I was voluntold to be the note taker so I don't really remember a whole lot of what went on. I was concentrating!

My least favourite part of the day was having to wear pants for so long. Usually I'm in my PJ pants as long as I can be. I get dressed when I'm about to leave home and as soon as I get home, I'm back in my PJs. It's really just the pants that bug me. Button up shirts, bras... meh, they're comfy enough. Put pants... I don't know what it is. I don't like skirts either and I have no intention of running around in my underpants. Or bare ass for that matter. It's too damn cold for that kind of silliness. Why are PJs so darn comfortable? Better yet! Why is wearing PJ bottoms in public socially unacceptable? Who made up that rule?

In the meantime, clothing designers, work on that. Design me some pants that are stylish and as comfy as my PJs. I expect results ASAP!

Other than a mini-rant about pants, I have very little to say. I'm quite tired. Tomorrow should be an exciting day though! But I'll talk about that then.

Lauren.

Lauren Daily's Glee! Episode 1

I did a whole lot of nothing today. Did some writing. Fiddled around with a new website I’m setting up. Read articles for school. Good times. I also made a cake in a cup. Yes, it was an exciting day.

I was a little saddened this week when Glee and Grey’s were not on. I did however get to see The Good Wife. Why do all the shows I watch start with the letter G? Maybe I’ve accidentally veered off Sesame Street and onto G Street? If there was a G Street, I apologize. I don’t recall ever watching Sesame Street. Anyway, that was a huge deviation from my point. My point is, this: because these shows were not on, I am taking the responsibility of filling in for them. Yes, it is a huge job, but I’m letting my imagination for the sake of keeping myself entertained.

So, if Glee were to have occurred, in my mind, it would have gone down like this:

So Rachel had this party and it was really lame until Puck convinced her to break into her dads’ alcohol. They ended up playing spin the bottle and Rachel kissed Blaine which made Kurt crazy jealous. Puck still can’t score with Lauren, Santana is dating Bieber and Quinn is moping in her new singlehood. Mr. Shue ended up drunk dialling Sue and she played his message over the PA at school and it was really disturbing so he made a pact with the Glee Club that they wouldn’t drink until after regionals. And that’s what you missed on Glee! (That was the recap! Keep paying attention!)

Quinn and Rachel are acting really weird around one another because at some point during Rachel’s party, Quinn made a drunken confession. OMG! Since the Blaine thing didn’t work out, Rachel’s started wondering about what it would be like to date Quinn. After all, kissing her apparently makes Finn see fireworks. And what better way to get his attention? Meanwhile, Finn has managed to do something douchey, like angrily telling Sam that he totally rocked Quinn’s world with that one kiss. He’s Finn and therefore ignorant to the Faberry developing under his nose. Sam finally punches Finn in the face (maybe knocking out a tooth) usurping his position as McKinley’s top dog which makes me smile. At some point in this really messed up episode, we discover that the reason only Brittany and Santana threw up during that performance is because they were on an early secret date and ate something that did not react well with Rachel’s alcoholic concoction. Artie gets suspicious. Puck is still chasing after Lauren with little improvement though he is still trying. He finally sings her a song about how awesome she is and not what she looks like. And! Far away in that distant land of boarding school, Kurt gets sick and tired of all of Blaine’s drama and makes a move for better or worse. In the end, because I just need it to happen, Blaine pulls his head out of his butt and realizes Kurt is amazing and they’re already practically dating, so what the hell!

Whew! Isn’t it a good thing I don’t write Glee? Well, maybe on some points. If I did, it really would be the gayest show on TV. But who doesn’t like gay TV? Yes, that was rhetorical. If I have nothing else to write about this week, I’ll rewrite the missed episode of Grey’s. Oh the fun I could have messing that up! Or putting it back together depending on your views of where Grey’s Anatomy is headed.

But that’s it for me. This post is already too long.

Lauren.

Moments, Chanel and French Diction

Oh, a quiet day. But a fun one. One of my friends called and asked me if I’d like to go to a women’s talent show in honour of International Women’s Week. The show was entertaining and it was nice to be out with my friends. I had two “you know you’re gay when” moments, but I don’t think I can be blamed for them. I mean really, one occurred during a belly dancing act. I challenge people not to let their mind wander a little bit. It’s not just the women or the dance moves either. The confidence of the dancers is also quite attractive. The second occurrence was when the university and college dance group got up to do their thing. I do believe dancers have the nicest asses. I’ve never really been an ass woman but I certainly did notice.

Aside from that, the daughter of my Creative Writing professor was hosting the event. I was very tempted to go ask about her but never actually got up the nerve. It’s funny because the daughter rents her shop from my former bosses. So we’ve actually run into each other several times. I don’t know if she remembers me. I swept, mopped and shovelled her doorstep though. I looked to see if my prof was there but I didn’t see her. Her I would have approached. I would have loved to tell her that I’m getting published. She was always so kind and encouraging. Maybe she still knows where to find my blog and will find out here.

I’m now watching Coco avant Chanel. I’m watching it with my mom and we’re watching it in French. Some of it is a bit too quick for me to catch, but it’s still easy to follow. Neither am I particularly fashionably inclined, but it’s interesting to see how different her fashion sense is compared to the ridiculously large, frilly fashions of the time. Simple elegance. I like that philosophy.

And I’ve always loved the expression “tu me manques” (it was in the movie). The word order sounds backwards, kind of like “you miss me” rather than “I miss you”. I guess it’s more along the lines of “you are missed”. I like it because it’s a personal statement of needing and missing someone all rolled into one. To me it just sounds like the person who is missed is a part of the person missing them. Am I rambling? I love words, can you tell?

As to that mystery post from the other day... It’s bugging me. The idea is there, the words are not. I’m sure it’ll appear eventually, unfortunately not today. Today I blabbered about asses and Chanel and the proper way to say “I miss you” in French. All fascinating I know. I’ll work on it.

Lauren.

Weird Me

I’m a little late posting today. I was watching Avatar and forgot how long it actually is. Good movie though. First movie I actually like Sigourney Weaver and don’t want her to disappear. Ironic isn’t it? God she’s good at playing a witch. Anyway, not a whole lot to say today. I am indescribably glad that it’s Friday. I was falling asleep in class again today. Which is worse than the other day because we’re only fourteen people. I’m kind of conspicuous. Particularly if I do snore. Which I still don’t think I do.

Other things that happened today. My professor finished grading our midterms. Yeah, the ones we wrote Tuesday when I was possibly stoned. I now realize that his unrealistic expectations of us come from his own highly unique ability to work that quickly. Still doesn’t make me like it. Actually, it makes me the teensiest bit jealous. In any case, as was thought by numerous acquaintances, I got a better grade on this task than all my others. It appears that being slightly out of your mind is in fact conducive to good work. At least where English is concerned. I’m not keen to repeat the stoned while teaching experience. (I still do not advocate substance abuse)

Work on the English journal continues. It’s going a little slow but I’m sure we’ll get something done soon. The prof I’m working with gave me her phone number and we’re going to work on it this weekend. It’s weird... I’m all about the boundaries and somehow, having my prof’s personal phone number is weird. I can’t even call her by her first name. She’s given us permission to, but I can’t do it. Same thing with my unnamed prof. I always refer to her as ‘Professor’ in spite of the facts that she hasn’t been my professor in two years and that we’re friends. Even when I went back to my high school for my placement, all my teachers were Monsieur or Madame so and so. I just can’t for some reason, picture going up to any of them and being like “Hey Julie! What’s up?” None of them are named Julie... Is it a case of ‘old habits die hard’, my desire not to be rude or do I just like the boundary? I dunno. Should be interesting to see how long it can go on before someone says something.

I’m afraid that’s it for tonight. I’ve wanted to write a particular post since Tuesday so we’ll see if I can get it done and posted tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Lauren.

Pies, Grandma and... Strippers?

Today was pleasantly uneventful. Of course, I had to get up early but it wasn’t... awful. I had breakfast with my grandma and later, we made two pies. Sugar pies. Neither of us had made one before so we wanted a tester.

A while ago, I made my unnamed professor a cake. When my prof returned my tin, she gave it back to me along with a pie. According to her, it’s bad luck to return a dish/tin empty. It’s a one way thing. Otherwise we’d be trapped in an endless cycle of giving baked goods. But I still had her pie dish. I felt like baking and I had a sense that my grandma wanted to get out of her house. My grandpa can be... trying. So I asked her if she’d like to help me make a sugar pie. My unnamed prof had mentioned liking them and I’d never made one. I didn’t have a recipe either. I’m such a horrible French Canadian. My grandma on the other hand has quite a few recipe books in both languages. Turns out she had two recipes. It also made me feel like less of a crappy French Canadian when she told me that she hadn’t made sugar pie before either. It took a little longer than we expected, but both pies turned out well.

My sister got home shortly after we’d set the pies to cool. She wanted to dig into them right away. To distract her, and probably because she was hungry, my grandma suggested we all go out to lunch. We all jumped into the car and made our way to a nearby restaurant.

I’m not sure how this came up, I think it was after my grandma paid for our meal, but my sister started going on about how next time, we’d take my grandma out for lunch. She suggested a really sleazy motel where they apparently serve amazing chicken wings with even sleazier strippers for entertainment. Seriously, this is the kind of place where you get hepatitis by walking in the door. Of course, my sister was kidding, though she has actually been there for the wings. Anyway, that discussion (which disturbed our very attractive waitress) led to my question of the day. My sister started going on about how we’d need ones to throw AT the strippers. It would be hilarious! Our dollars are coins after all. Having never been to a strip club or whatever, I’m wondering how that would work. Our lowest amount in paper money is a five. Does that mean Canadian strippers only accept fives or higher? It’s a solid business strategy. If they do accept dollars, I don’t want to know where coin deposits go.


When my grandma paid the waitress forty dollars, the waitress asked if we’d need the change. I don’t know if she was making a joke or asking a serious question. She seemed to be on the shyer side. Made me smile either way.

If any of my friends, acquaintances or family members are reading this, I really don’t want to go to a strip club. Please don’t kidnap me for that purpose.

Lauren.

I DO NOT snore

Everything is done, handed in and out of my way. It’s a lovely feeling. I’m tired, and I’m relieved. As to being stoned yesterday, I couldn’t remember if I’d taken my meds or not. My dad managed to convince me that it would be worse if I didn’t take it. Because there are side effects if I don’t take them. After taking the potentially forgotten pill I felt dizzy, I got a huge headache, I felt spacey and so tired. I’m thinking I double dosed. I also had an extremely difficult time getting myself focused and concentrated enough to write my midterm. We'll see how that goes. And that’s what happened.

So today was fun. I was innocently sitting in my Islamic Civ class. My head was down and I was curled up as much as possible in my chair because dammit, I swear the air conditioning was turned on. It was cold! I was trying to conserve heat. Anyway, I was listening to my prof when out of nowhere, my sister swatted me. I jumped up and stared at her, clearly asking WTF? She promptly and preposterously suggested that I was snoring. SNORING! I wasn’t even sleeping! Which I told her and she dared to stare at me with one of her perfectly plucked eyebrows raised. I was not sleeping! I could remember everything my prof had said during my alleged nap. But the more I thought about it, the less I could remember. My dad laughed when I told him and so did my mom. They both informed me that I was in that stage right before you go to sleep. I still maintain that I was not snoring.

Maybe I did doze off though... I was oddly more energetic in seminar today. I actually talked! Which I rarely ever do.

I went off to my psych test more awake than usual as well. I still had to read the multiple choice questions (all 60 of them) over a couple of times before actually understanding them. I hate that. It's not like these questions are short either. She has a whole story in there. It kind of amuses me a bit, I'm not going to lie. I swear, I have no idea how she comes up with so many names. I don't know that she's repeated one. There were like forty different kids, twenty or so teachers and a random Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So thrown in there for good measure. They're all very ethnically/culturally diverse too. But besides all that, I’m positive that deep down my psych profs are trying to freak us out. You know how people say “when in doubt, choose C”? Yeah, I swear I wound up choosing D so much I was starting to wonder. My scantron sheet has a couple of straight lines of just D. I remember thinking that after my last test too and I did well. Psychologists have a bit of an evil streak I think. I should ask.

I’m glad the stress of this week is over. It’ll be refreshing to wake up tomorrow and not have anything pressing to do. Except that I do have to drive my mom to work. Then I am picking my grandma up. We’re making pies. But that’s tomorrow!

And I shall see you then.

Lauren

Babbling at Midnight

Finished paper. Stupidly watch The Good Wife. I needed a break... good episode at least. And what the hell is Kalinda’s problem? I was possibly high while writing a midterm today. I don’t remember. I’m tired. It’s after midnight. I’ll explain the high business tomorrow. Or... later today. Depends how you want to look at it. I’m going to bed now.

I'm sorry. I did actually have an awesome post in mind but it's just not going to happen. Maybe tomorrow.

For now, LOOK A DISTRACTION!

Yes... beware the Sleep-Stealy Monster. It says superhero but he's really a villain. He beats you with the mallet and steals your sleep, locking it away in his ugly bling necklace. He also has fish ears because after he attacks you, you can only sleep with the fishes. I came up with that when I was potentially high. Does it sound out of the ordinary for me? I don't really think so... His shirt and pants don't really match do they?

Lauren.