Meeko’s vet doesn’t work on weekends so I didn’t have to wrestle him. I may have to Monday but that’s still two days away. I still got to take a drive with my dad though. He had some work he wanted to do on the trailer and apparently it was the kind of work that requires someone to be able to dial 911.
He parked the truck in a partially shady spot and rolled the windows down. He worked, I kicked off my shoes, put them on the dash, and sat across the front seat, settling in to read my book. Veronica bought it for me a while ago and I’m finally able to get into it. It’s a Cinderella story with a twist. So far it looks like it’s based on the Grimm Brother’s version which I actually prefer to the Disneyfied or Perrault version. My gaydar is going nuts though. And while my ‘in real life’ gaydar is horrendously defective, my literary gaydar is highly accurate. So I’m really curious about how the romance is going to play out.
It was nice though. The sun was shining just right and there was a nice breeze, birds were singing, the frogs were going nuts. I rather enjoyed myself. I should read outside more often. And I did occasionally check on my dad but I was never really worried. I could hear him swearing so I knew everything was fine. That and I didn’t hear the trailer roll over, I’m pretty sure that would have made a big bang. For whatever reason he was afraid that the trailer would roll over on him. Apart from ensuring that my dad didn’t kill himself, I was supposed to get him home by two thirty. We, and by we I actually mean my dad, were finished by 1:00. I think I could have stayed there all day. I love when that happens. I wish everything could be so simple and satisfying.
And just because the election is coming up, I need to say this. The other day I got a call from the Conservative Party’s rep in my area. That is weird on many levels. I don’t get phone calls, I am definitely not politically Conservative and no other party has harassed me, my parents or my sister by phone. The woman who called me, who sounded like she was comatose, asked if the Conservative Party could count on my vote. I actually laughed before telling them no. I dunno, anyone who wants to make our healthcare system more like the American system (when that works so well), tries to tell me who I can and cannot marry, and insults my intelligence by claiming to have lowered or gotten rid of certain taxes when in reality, they only merged two taxes and now tax us for everything, can shove it. When I told my mom about the whole episode, she laughed and then asked me if I actually laughed at the woman. I didn’t laugh AT her. Just the idea of ever voting Conservative... regardless of their stance on human trafficking. If I could ask Stephen Harper's campaign manager one question I think it would be "What the hell does human trafficking have to do with anything?" It's so dumb I still haven't gotten over it.
Still voting for Amy Farrah Fowler.
Lauren.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Tasmanian Portal
Today was dull. I doubt I’ll be able to say the same tomorrow. Meeko’s been really stuffed up, to the point that he’s having trouble breathing. My dad has enlisted me to carry him into the vet’s office tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it. I have a bad temper but it’s nothing when compared to Meeko’s when we take him out of the house. It’s like he’s not even a cat anymore. Our front door is a portal that transforms my sweet, cuddly kitty into a friggin’ Tasmanian Devil. I must remember to wear sleeves... several layers and sleeves.
He’s going to be a nightmare after too. He holds a grudge. Which I suspect is another reason why my dad wants ME to be the one to carry him. I’m clearly the favourite and my dad is jealous of that. He wants Meeko mad at me so he can usurp my place! Devious! Underhandedness! Schemes! The cat’s not going to want to be near me for a while after we get home...
Out of interest though, do they make kitty strait jackets? Cause he’s not gonna go easy.
If I don’t write tomorrow, it’s because he chewed off my arms. Wish me luck because I’m rather attached to my arms. In every sense of the word attached.
Lauren.
He’s going to be a nightmare after too. He holds a grudge. Which I suspect is another reason why my dad wants ME to be the one to carry him. I’m clearly the favourite and my dad is jealous of that. He wants Meeko mad at me so he can usurp my place! Devious! Underhandedness! Schemes! The cat’s not going to want to be near me for a while after we get home...
Out of interest though, do they make kitty strait jackets? Cause he’s not gonna go easy.
If I don’t write tomorrow, it’s because he chewed off my arms. Wish me luck because I’m rather attached to my arms. In every sense of the word attached.
Lauren.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Real Smelly-Pants
I watched She’s the Man with Amanda Bynes the other day. It’s a pretty hilarious parody of one of my favourite Shakespeare plays, The Twelfth Night. You know, the play with the whole “some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them”. The irony is that that’s said when the Fool is making fun of the pompous rule obsessed butler-guy and now we say it like it’s supposed to be inspirational. There was very little point to that spiel. The point is that in She’s the Man, Amanda Bynes is pretending to be her twin brother and can’t find the opportunity to shower in guy’s dorm where she’s living. When she’s talking to one of her friends she claims to smell so bad that she’s convulsing people. I now know what that feels like. I'm practically convulsing.
I’d planned to do my laundry Monday. I had about three weeks worth of it stockpiled. My laundry basked was overflowing. Our laundry machine broke down Sunday. Most of my clothes was already smelly and dirty. I’ve been surviving on pyjama pants, undershirts and a sweater in case I get cold. Thank God I have more underwear than I could ever wear... or so I thought. I smell. It’s nasty. I may shower, but the stench never leaves me completely. I am living under a constant cloud of stinky.
I was ecstatic today when my dad brought home the new laundry machine! Of course, I had to go outside in dirty PJ pants, an undershirt and shoes to help him unload it, but I won’t be stinky tomorrow! I’ll smell like summer breeze or ocean wave or nature is amazing... some stupid fragrance name. Can I get a job coming up with frangrance names? EVEN BETTER! CAN I GET A JOB NAMING PAINT COLOURS?! Anyway, I’m so excited! My clothes is washing as I type this. Detergent smells good.
Other than smelling like the wrong end of an inside out animal (it’s not quite that bad), I worked on my scheme. It hasn’t been going very well, but I stumbled upon something that might turn my whole project around. Fingers crossed! I’m kind of worried that I’m just being ambitious, idealistic and stubborn. Again. Not always a great combination. I have big ideas, I just lack the means to achieve them a lot of the time. It's pretty aggravating. But like I said, fingers crossed.
Lauren “Disgustingly-Stinky” Daily.
I’d planned to do my laundry Monday. I had about three weeks worth of it stockpiled. My laundry basked was overflowing. Our laundry machine broke down Sunday. Most of my clothes was already smelly and dirty. I’ve been surviving on pyjama pants, undershirts and a sweater in case I get cold. Thank God I have more underwear than I could ever wear... or so I thought. I smell. It’s nasty. I may shower, but the stench never leaves me completely. I am living under a constant cloud of stinky.
I was ecstatic today when my dad brought home the new laundry machine! Of course, I had to go outside in dirty PJ pants, an undershirt and shoes to help him unload it, but I won’t be stinky tomorrow! I’ll smell like summer breeze or ocean wave or nature is amazing... some stupid fragrance name. Can I get a job coming up with frangrance names? EVEN BETTER! CAN I GET A JOB NAMING PAINT COLOURS?! Anyway, I’m so excited! My clothes is washing as I type this. Detergent smells good.
Other than smelling like the wrong end of an inside out animal (it’s not quite that bad), I worked on my scheme. It hasn’t been going very well, but I stumbled upon something that might turn my whole project around. Fingers crossed! I’m kind of worried that I’m just being ambitious, idealistic and stubborn. Again. Not always a great combination. I have big ideas, I just lack the means to achieve them a lot of the time. It's pretty aggravating. But like I said, fingers crossed.
Lauren “Disgustingly-Stinky” Daily.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Without My Blog
I have written a grand total of 608 blog posts. I’ll estimate that on average, my posts hit about 400 words. That would mean that I’ve written about 243 200 words expressing various thoughts, ideas and, let’s be honest, nonsense. I happen to say the sentence “I wrote a blog post about that” a fair bit and I suppose one of my friends felt the need to point that out. She asked me “Lauren, what would you do without your blog.” I didn’t think much of it at the time, but over the last few days, it has gotten me thinking. What would I do without my blog?
Anyone who really knows me knows that while I’m a quiet person, I love to converse. Which is one of the reasons I absolutely love hanging out with my unnamed prof. The thing is, I don’t get the opportunity to converse a lot. I’ve been infuriating my parents lately because I won’t tell them why I’m getting my teaching degree. I won’t tell them why I want to go to grad school. I haven’t told them that I’m no longer in therapy. I don’t usually tell them what my novels are about and if I do, it’s in minimal detail. I don’t tell them how I feel. I don’t tell them why I avoid physical contact with people. I barely ever tell them exactly what I’m thinking. As you can see, I don’t tell my family a lot about myself. Our conversations are normally quite superficial or they’re attempting to tell me what to do. I don’t take too kindly to the latter anymore.
I don’t tell them things about me because they either truly don’t listen, (I’m not being a melodramatic teenager), they make my problems and feelings about them, or they’re just confused. Confused amuses me most because at least they’re trying to hear me. The other day, my mom kept going on and on about how my sister and I should have watched The King’s Speech... I was sitting beside her less than four feet away the entire movie (I blogged about it). She couldn’t remember me being there. Yesterday, I was working in my room and came down to get a glass of water and wake my dad up (waking people up is another of my home-secretarial duties). He asked me when I’d gone upstairs. I’d gone to my room immediately after he asked me to wake him up at 4:00. Our house is 1100 sq feet. You can literally see from one end of the house to the other and out into the yard yet he has no idea where I am inside. I constantly have to repeat myself because my family somehow doesn’t hear me when I talk or they don’t understand what I’m saying. I should be a mime.
So, what would I do without my blog? I would go absolutely insane. For almost three years blogging has allowed me to say, think, write, be silly, express myself, expel my frustrations, share my life in ways that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Without my blog I wouldn’t have said those 243 200 words. Granted, a lot of it is just me goofing off, but there are posts that deal with a deep part of me. Clearly if I’m able to write every day, those 243 200 words needed to be said. A lot of the time, I have no idea who, if anyone is reading what I’m writing but at least there’s the possibility that someone is reading it, getting it and somehow responding to it. Without my blog no one would have heard those 243 200 words. Not even me. They would have been an icky bottled up feeling in my chest.
Rather than training in mime, I blog to talk. Because how and when else am I going to talk about me or anything I care about?
Lauren.
Anyone who really knows me knows that while I’m a quiet person, I love to converse. Which is one of the reasons I absolutely love hanging out with my unnamed prof. The thing is, I don’t get the opportunity to converse a lot. I’ve been infuriating my parents lately because I won’t tell them why I’m getting my teaching degree. I won’t tell them why I want to go to grad school. I haven’t told them that I’m no longer in therapy. I don’t usually tell them what my novels are about and if I do, it’s in minimal detail. I don’t tell them how I feel. I don’t tell them why I avoid physical contact with people. I barely ever tell them exactly what I’m thinking. As you can see, I don’t tell my family a lot about myself. Our conversations are normally quite superficial or they’re attempting to tell me what to do. I don’t take too kindly to the latter anymore.
I don’t tell them things about me because they either truly don’t listen, (I’m not being a melodramatic teenager), they make my problems and feelings about them, or they’re just confused. Confused amuses me most because at least they’re trying to hear me. The other day, my mom kept going on and on about how my sister and I should have watched The King’s Speech... I was sitting beside her less than four feet away the entire movie (I blogged about it). She couldn’t remember me being there. Yesterday, I was working in my room and came down to get a glass of water and wake my dad up (waking people up is another of my home-secretarial duties). He asked me when I’d gone upstairs. I’d gone to my room immediately after he asked me to wake him up at 4:00. Our house is 1100 sq feet. You can literally see from one end of the house to the other and out into the yard yet he has no idea where I am inside. I constantly have to repeat myself because my family somehow doesn’t hear me when I talk or they don’t understand what I’m saying. I should be a mime.
So, what would I do without my blog? I would go absolutely insane. For almost three years blogging has allowed me to say, think, write, be silly, express myself, expel my frustrations, share my life in ways that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Without my blog I wouldn’t have said those 243 200 words. Granted, a lot of it is just me goofing off, but there are posts that deal with a deep part of me. Clearly if I’m able to write every day, those 243 200 words needed to be said. A lot of the time, I have no idea who, if anyone is reading what I’m writing but at least there’s the possibility that someone is reading it, getting it and somehow responding to it. Without my blog no one would have heard those 243 200 words. Not even me. They would have been an icky bottled up feeling in my chest.
Rather than training in mime, I blog to talk. Because how and when else am I going to talk about me or anything I care about?
Lauren.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Glee's Born this Way
I’m kind of moody today so I’ll just keep this post about Glee. Let us forsake the intro where I blab endlessly about ‘what I did today’ and ‘how crappy the weather was’ (which it was) and get right into things.
GLEE! So much to address!
Rachel and Quinn... I don’t talk about this much anymore, but when I was much younger I went to summer camp. It was my first time away from home without my parents. The girls in my cabin, not all of them, we’ll say... six of them, took it upon themselves to bully me day in and day out for a week. Before bed, after bed, at lunch, in activities, while swimming, whenever they could. It was a very intense experience I’d repeat again during grade seven. One day it got really bad. I don’t remember much of what was said, but I do remember them telling me I had no friends, that I was fat, that I smelled (which I probably did because I was too scared to go into the showers and could only go when no one was there) and that I needed a nose job. So, I wanted to kick Lauren in the crotch for what she did to Quinn because that was awful. While Quinn’s behaviour hasn’t really been better, I can understand it, I did it. I got so hard and mean when I came back home... it took me about two years to figure out that I hated who I’d become. Glad to finally see some character development Quinn-wise and mildly terrified that I have so much in common with her. As to my nose, while I don’t have a ‘Jewish’ nose, mine is upturned. It’s really hard to draw my nose without making it look like a pig’s nose. I was self conscious for a while after my camp experience, but I actually like my nose. It’s not perfect, it’s not straight, but then, neither am I. I’m kind of on the fence regarding aesthetic plastic surgery, but I would have hated for Rachel to get a nose-job.
Emma. Been there too. That is exactly what mental illness feels like. And that’s exactly how it should be seen. It is an illness just like diabetes is an illness. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not painful and disruptive. And taking meds that affect your brain is scary initially. It took a very good doctor and three years before I was ready to take medication. But meds really only enhance your body’s ability to make use of what you already have. They don’t change who you are even though you feel like they might. Glee got it perfectly. Applause.
Yay! Kurt is back! It makes me happy. I have no idea what song he sang but I loved it! I missed him. And I’ll grudgingly admit that Finn was a sweetheart and not a douche. He gets a temporary non-douche award.
A second YAY! to Brittany for seeing through Santana and giving her the Lebanese t-shirt. Heard that joke before, still makes me laugh. Oh Santana, what shall I do with you? I don’t know what to think about her. Poor girl.
Lastly, I like the idea of the t-shirts. I think I may make my own. It’s neat. It’s owning and advertising at the same time. Crafty.
And that is my take on today and Glee. As shocking as this may seem after everything I wrote, I liked this episode. I would have been friends with Lucy.
Lauren.
GLEE! So much to address!
Rachel and Quinn... I don’t talk about this much anymore, but when I was much younger I went to summer camp. It was my first time away from home without my parents. The girls in my cabin, not all of them, we’ll say... six of them, took it upon themselves to bully me day in and day out for a week. Before bed, after bed, at lunch, in activities, while swimming, whenever they could. It was a very intense experience I’d repeat again during grade seven. One day it got really bad. I don’t remember much of what was said, but I do remember them telling me I had no friends, that I was fat, that I smelled (which I probably did because I was too scared to go into the showers and could only go when no one was there) and that I needed a nose job. So, I wanted to kick Lauren in the crotch for what she did to Quinn because that was awful. While Quinn’s behaviour hasn’t really been better, I can understand it, I did it. I got so hard and mean when I came back home... it took me about two years to figure out that I hated who I’d become. Glad to finally see some character development Quinn-wise and mildly terrified that I have so much in common with her. As to my nose, while I don’t have a ‘Jewish’ nose, mine is upturned. It’s really hard to draw my nose without making it look like a pig’s nose. I was self conscious for a while after my camp experience, but I actually like my nose. It’s not perfect, it’s not straight, but then, neither am I. I’m kind of on the fence regarding aesthetic plastic surgery, but I would have hated for Rachel to get a nose-job.
Emma. Been there too. That is exactly what mental illness feels like. And that’s exactly how it should be seen. It is an illness just like diabetes is an illness. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not painful and disruptive. And taking meds that affect your brain is scary initially. It took a very good doctor and three years before I was ready to take medication. But meds really only enhance your body’s ability to make use of what you already have. They don’t change who you are even though you feel like they might. Glee got it perfectly. Applause.
Yay! Kurt is back! It makes me happy. I have no idea what song he sang but I loved it! I missed him. And I’ll grudgingly admit that Finn was a sweetheart and not a douche. He gets a temporary non-douche award.
A second YAY! to Brittany for seeing through Santana and giving her the Lebanese t-shirt. Heard that joke before, still makes me laugh. Oh Santana, what shall I do with you? I don’t know what to think about her. Poor girl.
Lastly, I like the idea of the t-shirts. I think I may make my own. It’s neat. It’s owning and advertising at the same time. Crafty.
And that is my take on today and Glee. As shocking as this may seem after everything I wrote, I liked this episode. I would have been friends with Lucy.
Lauren.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Alarm Headache!
The nerd alarm is sounding constantly now. I can’t turn it off. Frankly, it’s giving me a headache. I was working on my novel again today and I’m a very visual person so I like to draw. I was trying to think up a for people from an imaginary land to fly by air and with the way I have things set up, all forms of conventional flying objects (CFOs?) are out of the question. Nothing I was thinking up was turning out right. Solution. Pull out my old Legos. God I love those things. I now have an imaginary plane sitting on my dresser. Although, since it’s now been created in reality, it’s not so much imaginary is it? The nerd alarm hasn’t stopped since then. It probably didn’t help that I was watching Avatar while building... no, I did not do that on purpose. I just wanted to watch the movie.
I don’t want to write a whole lot today. My wrists have been acting up. I think I might have some carpel tunnel. I did a bunch of writing in the last month of school and I’ve been sore since. It’s not like I have a bunch to say... you unfortunately know what I was up to.
Glee tomorrow! And apparently it’s an hour and a half! According to my source (globaltv.com) this is what can be expected:
“The glee club learns about self-acceptance through the music of Lady Gaga; Lauren and Quinn compete for prom queen; Ms. Pillsbury faces her issues; Rachel makes a life-changing decision; Santana schemes”
Not a huge Lady Gaga fan (though me and my sister came up with an awesome remix of Bad Romance using our Islamic Civ study notes. That's probably blasphemy... Sorry.)More importantly, do Rachel and Quinn finally get together? I see potential! I always see potential. And when is Santana not scheming? Is that really worthy of note? I guess it’s supposed to mean that her scheming will directly impact the plot of the episode. But really... I’m expecting some uber Finn-douchiness that will make me want to puke. Should I take bets?
Lauren
I don’t want to write a whole lot today. My wrists have been acting up. I think I might have some carpel tunnel. I did a bunch of writing in the last month of school and I’ve been sore since. It’s not like I have a bunch to say... you unfortunately know what I was up to.
Glee tomorrow! And apparently it’s an hour and a half! According to my source (globaltv.com) this is what can be expected:
“The glee club learns about self-acceptance through the music of Lady Gaga; Lauren and Quinn compete for prom queen; Ms. Pillsbury faces her issues; Rachel makes a life-changing decision; Santana schemes”
Not a huge Lady Gaga fan (though me and my sister came up with an awesome remix of Bad Romance using our Islamic Civ study notes. That's probably blasphemy... Sorry.)More importantly, do Rachel and Quinn finally get together? I see potential! I always see potential. And when is Santana not scheming? Is that really worthy of note? I guess it’s supposed to mean that her scheming will directly impact the plot of the episode. But really... I’m expecting some uber Finn-douchiness that will make me want to puke. Should I take bets?
Lauren
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Quiet Easter Day
I believe the following best indicates the mistake I made.
Clearly I should have asked Kayley Cuoco to join my world domination team! Although, I know there was a Big Bang marathon in Canada... maybe that had something to do with it. Either way, I am formally asking Kayley Cuoco if she would be interested in joining Voldemort, Salem, Pinky, Brain and of course, me, in our attempt to take over the world. It could be fun! I’ll give you rule of an entire continent! I’ll even let you choose which continent! Come to the dark side Kayley! I'll bake you cookies.
I hope everyone had a happy Easter. I think I did. We went to my grandmas and ate. I visited with a few relatives and was not annoyed to within an inch of my sanity. This time, my sister was the one guarding her ears from wet willies and strange licking. My family is so weird. We also came to the conclusion that everyone on my mom’s side of the family can be considered “hot-runners”. I don’t know what the hell I am. My hands and feet are usually freezing, sometimes my nose too, but the rest of me is fine. Right now, my hands are really hot... I dunno. Maybe it has something to do with the short temper we all share. It’s not a family reunion if someone isn’t angry and someone else hasn’t been cursed. We’re special that way.
After that we came home. I worked on my writing, finished the cake from hell and I’m going to watch a movie. Once again there is enough turkey in our fridge to feed the entire community. Meeko is happy in his turkey induced coma. He was sleeping with his tongue out a while ago. Why do cats do that? I catch Meeko walking around with his tongue out as if he doesn’t know it’s sticking out. As soon as we poke it, he puts it back in his mouth. Is he trying to taste the air?
Of course, being around family brought up questions like: what were you up to last night?
My sister went partying. I on the other hand was designing flags for the various fictional nations in my new book. The truly scary part? I can recognize each individual flag and tell you which imaginary nation it belongs to. It’s all written down so I can’t BS you. NERD ALARM! Continuing with that theme, today’s writing involved a biology refresher. I was inventing a flower from which a poison or healing draught could be made. Yes, I did write recipes, storing instructions and draw instructional diagrams.
Why am I single again? Meeko? Why am I single? You told me the reason the other day but I forget. Meeko? Oh, he’s decided to act like the cat he is and not talk to me. Nice. What was I talking about again?
If it’s nice tomorrow I think I’ll walk around and give out some resumes... my mom threatened me with “a serious talk” today. Given that we’ve never actually had one of those, I’m assuming it’s going to piss me off.
With that, I must leave you.
Lauren “Nerd!” Daily
Clearly I should have asked Kayley Cuoco to join my world domination team! Although, I know there was a Big Bang marathon in Canada... maybe that had something to do with it. Either way, I am formally asking Kayley Cuoco if she would be interested in joining Voldemort, Salem, Pinky, Brain and of course, me, in our attempt to take over the world. It could be fun! I’ll give you rule of an entire continent! I’ll even let you choose which continent! Come to the dark side Kayley! I'll bake you cookies.
I hope everyone had a happy Easter. I think I did. We went to my grandmas and ate. I visited with a few relatives and was not annoyed to within an inch of my sanity. This time, my sister was the one guarding her ears from wet willies and strange licking. My family is so weird. We also came to the conclusion that everyone on my mom’s side of the family can be considered “hot-runners”. I don’t know what the hell I am. My hands and feet are usually freezing, sometimes my nose too, but the rest of me is fine. Right now, my hands are really hot... I dunno. Maybe it has something to do with the short temper we all share. It’s not a family reunion if someone isn’t angry and someone else hasn’t been cursed. We’re special that way.
After that we came home. I worked on my writing, finished the cake from hell and I’m going to watch a movie. Once again there is enough turkey in our fridge to feed the entire community. Meeko is happy in his turkey induced coma. He was sleeping with his tongue out a while ago. Why do cats do that? I catch Meeko walking around with his tongue out as if he doesn’t know it’s sticking out. As soon as we poke it, he puts it back in his mouth. Is he trying to taste the air?
Of course, being around family brought up questions like: what were you up to last night?
My sister went partying. I on the other hand was designing flags for the various fictional nations in my new book. The truly scary part? I can recognize each individual flag and tell you which imaginary nation it belongs to. It’s all written down so I can’t BS you. NERD ALARM! Continuing with that theme, today’s writing involved a biology refresher. I was inventing a flower from which a poison or healing draught could be made. Yes, I did write recipes, storing instructions and draw instructional diagrams.
Why am I single again? Meeko? Why am I single? You told me the reason the other day but I forget. Meeko? Oh, he’s decided to act like the cat he is and not talk to me. Nice. What was I talking about again?
If it’s nice tomorrow I think I’ll walk around and give out some resumes... my mom threatened me with “a serious talk” today. Given that we’ve never actually had one of those, I’m assuming it’s going to piss me off.
With that, I must leave you.
Lauren “Nerd!” Daily
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The Humpty/Movie Mystery
What is up with religious movies? Today I was privileged enough to see the end of Ben-Hur. I also got the opportunity to run away when my mom threatened to put on The Ten Commandments. We’re talking the old versions here. No Disney animated nonsense, no remakes, the old movies where blood looked like red paint and Jesus was always backlit. My mom also threatened me with The Robe. I shivered in fear.
I have no problem with religion. I have a problem with these movies. They’re so corntastic I want to cry, or laugh, or make fun of them. No one appreciates a crying-laughing-interrupter while watching a movie. And these suckers are long! No wait, I meant they’re looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong... Three hours watching someone suffer until they find God in the last ten minutes?
I remember in eighth grade, we had an idiot for a religion teacher. She tried to make us watch The Ten Commandments. Religion class was less than an hour a week. Needless to say the movie just kept going and going and going and I don’t think we ever made it to the end. What happens again? Something about rules and walking in the desert... Moses was in there at some point...
How my mother could even consider marathoning them is beyond me. I just don’t see what she does in them. But that’s probably our very different beliefs regarding religion coming in to play.
Other than that, I bake a cake for tomorrow. It didn’t quite go as planned. I’m calling this cake the Beginner’s Luck cake. Every time I’ve made this cake (first time excluded) I’ve run into problems. This time, the damn thing wouldn’t come out of the pan. I lined it and greased it but no, it wanted to stay in there. By the time we got it out, it was a little bit destroyed. The upside is that there’s a glaze so no one will know. Except for me and my mom... we ate the parts that broke off and couldn’t be replaced... shhh! It’s cake not Humpty Dumpty! You can’t put it all back together again! That and it’s really good cake.
Speaking of Humpty Dumpty, why is he depicted as an egg? Someone mentioned this to or near me once. I don’t think it says in the rhyme that he’s an egg, just that he’s on the wall and has a great fall. It doesn’t really make sense. If he were an egg, they’d be able to fix his exterior shell but his insides would just be a runny mess. How do you put that back together? With a straw and careful siphoning?
And if he was a hardboiled egg, he’d probably only be cracked and able to fix himself without assistance. Or perhaps it would be the equivalent of breaking your arm or something. Unless he’s really a decorative egg made of... something breakable. Then there wouldn’t be ooze inside and he could be put back together! Was he crafted by Faberge? I think it's worth considering.
I must investigate this further. Should anyone have any information they would like to share regarding this mystery, I would love to hear it.
By the way, my cake called for six of Humpty’s countrymen. I’m a monster!
Lauren
I have no problem with religion. I have a problem with these movies. They’re so corntastic I want to cry, or laugh, or make fun of them. No one appreciates a crying-laughing-interrupter while watching a movie. And these suckers are long! No wait, I meant they’re looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong... Three hours watching someone suffer until they find God in the last ten minutes?
I remember in eighth grade, we had an idiot for a religion teacher. She tried to make us watch The Ten Commandments. Religion class was less than an hour a week. Needless to say the movie just kept going and going and going and I don’t think we ever made it to the end. What happens again? Something about rules and walking in the desert... Moses was in there at some point...
How my mother could even consider marathoning them is beyond me. I just don’t see what she does in them. But that’s probably our very different beliefs regarding religion coming in to play.
Other than that, I bake a cake for tomorrow. It didn’t quite go as planned. I’m calling this cake the Beginner’s Luck cake. Every time I’ve made this cake (first time excluded) I’ve run into problems. This time, the damn thing wouldn’t come out of the pan. I lined it and greased it but no, it wanted to stay in there. By the time we got it out, it was a little bit destroyed. The upside is that there’s a glaze so no one will know. Except for me and my mom... we ate the parts that broke off and couldn’t be replaced... shhh! It’s cake not Humpty Dumpty! You can’t put it all back together again! That and it’s really good cake.
Speaking of Humpty Dumpty, why is he depicted as an egg? Someone mentioned this to or near me once. I don’t think it says in the rhyme that he’s an egg, just that he’s on the wall and has a great fall. It doesn’t really make sense. If he were an egg, they’d be able to fix his exterior shell but his insides would just be a runny mess. How do you put that back together? With a straw and careful siphoning?
And if he was a hardboiled egg, he’d probably only be cracked and able to fix himself without assistance. Or perhaps it would be the equivalent of breaking your arm or something. Unless he’s really a decorative egg made of... something breakable. Then there wouldn’t be ooze inside and he could be put back together! Was he crafted by Faberge? I think it's worth considering.
I must investigate this further. Should anyone have any information they would like to share regarding this mystery, I would love to hear it.
By the way, my cake called for six of Humpty’s countrymen. I’m a monster!
Lauren
Friday, April 22, 2011
Movie Watching Holiday
I’ve been off school for about a week. In that time, my parents have politely suggested I get a job at least a dozen times. To be honest, it’s pissing me off. They use that horrible, nagging, but still conversational so it looks like I’m overreacting if I get angry, tone. Why haven’t I gotten a job yet? Because I’ve ended up hating every job I’ve ever had by the time I quit and I’ve been abused by every employer I’ve ever had. Needless to say, I’m over it. The logical part of my mind tells me that it can’t be like that everywhere and yet... I have no idea where I want to apply. The list of don’ts is ever lengthening. I cannot work in food again. I’ve done my time... God I have done my time. Unfortunately, in my town, there’s not much else available for students who need the flexible hours. Colour me frustrated. Guess that’s what I’ll be doing on Monday... bleh. I hate resumeing!
Anyway, today we watched The King’s Speech. I really liked it. I didn’t spend half the movie praying it would end. Length wise it was just right. There was a good balance of funny, sweet and moving moments that kept the story moving along nicely. On top of which, it was interesting! I don't know anyone with a speech problem that severe but I can only imagine how maddening it would be. Especially for someone with so much to say who was seen by so many. It must have been awful. Usually I’m reluctant to watch Academy Award winning anything but I will recommend this one. Isn’t it odd that when I like something I have very little to say? It's worth a watch. Says the history nerd. But seriously, Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham-Carter (who on occasion scares the crap out of me) were brilliant.
I didn’t do much else today. Lots of movie watching, lots of writing, emailing with my unnamed prof. She had her ‘I told you so’ moment and then, for some reason told me she wanted to read my honours papers. I saw how much my history prof had to grade. I don’t know why any professor would want to read even a page more than they absolutely have to. Not that I don’t appreciate the interest she’s taken. I complained enough about those dang papers. I sent them... I hope she doesn’t go blind.
And that is all I have to say for today. It was pretty quiet. Good quiet holiday.
Lauren.
Anyway, today we watched The King’s Speech. I really liked it. I didn’t spend half the movie praying it would end. Length wise it was just right. There was a good balance of funny, sweet and moving moments that kept the story moving along nicely. On top of which, it was interesting! I don't know anyone with a speech problem that severe but I can only imagine how maddening it would be. Especially for someone with so much to say who was seen by so many. It must have been awful. Usually I’m reluctant to watch Academy Award winning anything but I will recommend this one. Isn’t it odd that when I like something I have very little to say? It's worth a watch. Says the history nerd. But seriously, Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham-Carter (who on occasion scares the crap out of me) were brilliant.
I didn’t do much else today. Lots of movie watching, lots of writing, emailing with my unnamed prof. She had her ‘I told you so’ moment and then, for some reason told me she wanted to read my honours papers. I saw how much my history prof had to grade. I don’t know why any professor would want to read even a page more than they absolutely have to. Not that I don’t appreciate the interest she’s taken. I complained enough about those dang papers. I sent them... I hope she doesn’t go blind.
And that is all I have to say for today. It was pretty quiet. Good quiet holiday.
Lauren.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Surprise, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise
I have to say, today was full of surprises. Four in particular.
I went out to lunch with two girls I met when we sat together in my unnamed prof’s class. (We all agreed that without hesitation or question that my unnamed prof was our favourite professor.) I have to say, it’s really awkward being the only person waiting in the dining room of a restaurant. I was the first one there... Anyway, the surprise. At age twenty two, I was the oldest at our lunch. It became very obvious however, that we were all about eighty. My one friend was complaining about the arthritis in her hip, I was complaining about the pain in my ankles and knees, my other friend was talking about how unsettled her stomach was going to be. I offered her Gaviscon that I keep in my purse. There were so many other moments where I had to stop and think how old I actually am. We later agreed that university aged us about sixty years.
Surprise number two came when I drove us up to school so we could pick up/drop off our papers. Mine was on the board outside my prof's office in an envelope. Given that I had to drive and I wasn’t expecting anything amazing, I decided to look at the grade when I got home. I’d talked to my prof about the paper a bit before writing it. He disagreed with my idea. After a semester of handing in papers he really didn’t like, I was expecting my regular grade. I finally opened the envelope and when I saw my grade, I had to flip back to the first page of my paper to make sure I was in fact holding my paper. I got an 85. That’s about 20% better than any other paper I handed in for that class. I couldn’t read his comments, but the few words I could decipher seemed positive. I'll grudgingly thank him for pissing me off because it made me work that much harder on my final paper. It seems that my temper and stubborness worked in my favour for the first time EVER.
Surprise number three involved my sister. She came up to my room with her resume and asked me to proof read it. She’d translated it from English to French. I haven’t read or written in French since high school. It’s not like I can’t read or write anymore, I’ve just forgotten some grammar rules and whatnot over the years. Hey, there are a lot. And for every grammar rule, there are at least ten exceptions. I don’t have the confidence I used to when I was speaking and using French regularly. I was shocked at how much I did remember though. Credit to my high school French teachers. Two in particular who loved and drilled grammar into our heads. That knowledge has survived in my head for four years without being used. That is both impressive and shameful.
Finally, the fourth surprise. Kayley Cuoco continues her reign of photo-power. Brad Pitt, you have failed. Don’t feel bad. Women are just more pleasant to look at than men.
And lastly! The answer to my riddle from yesterday. My sister baked cupcakes for her friend and failed to return the muffin tins. They were in her car. Because we bake a lot in her car. I’m still so unimpressed.
Lauren.
I went out to lunch with two girls I met when we sat together in my unnamed prof’s class. (We all agreed that without hesitation or question that my unnamed prof was our favourite professor.) I have to say, it’s really awkward being the only person waiting in the dining room of a restaurant. I was the first one there... Anyway, the surprise. At age twenty two, I was the oldest at our lunch. It became very obvious however, that we were all about eighty. My one friend was complaining about the arthritis in her hip, I was complaining about the pain in my ankles and knees, my other friend was talking about how unsettled her stomach was going to be. I offered her Gaviscon that I keep in my purse. There were so many other moments where I had to stop and think how old I actually am. We later agreed that university aged us about sixty years.
Surprise number two came when I drove us up to school so we could pick up/drop off our papers. Mine was on the board outside my prof's office in an envelope. Given that I had to drive and I wasn’t expecting anything amazing, I decided to look at the grade when I got home. I’d talked to my prof about the paper a bit before writing it. He disagreed with my idea. After a semester of handing in papers he really didn’t like, I was expecting my regular grade. I finally opened the envelope and when I saw my grade, I had to flip back to the first page of my paper to make sure I was in fact holding my paper. I got an 85. That’s about 20% better than any other paper I handed in for that class. I couldn’t read his comments, but the few words I could decipher seemed positive. I'll grudgingly thank him for pissing me off because it made me work that much harder on my final paper. It seems that my temper and stubborness worked in my favour for the first time EVER.
Surprise number three involved my sister. She came up to my room with her resume and asked me to proof read it. She’d translated it from English to French. I haven’t read or written in French since high school. It’s not like I can’t read or write anymore, I’ve just forgotten some grammar rules and whatnot over the years. Hey, there are a lot. And for every grammar rule, there are at least ten exceptions. I don’t have the confidence I used to when I was speaking and using French regularly. I was shocked at how much I did remember though. Credit to my high school French teachers. Two in particular who loved and drilled grammar into our heads. That knowledge has survived in my head for four years without being used. That is both impressive and shameful.
Finally, the fourth surprise. Kayley Cuoco continues her reign of photo-power. Brad Pitt, you have failed. Don’t feel bad. Women are just more pleasant to look at than men.
And lastly! The answer to my riddle from yesterday. My sister baked cupcakes for her friend and failed to return the muffin tins. They were in her car. Because we bake a lot in her car. I’m still so unimpressed.
Lauren.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Weathering Disappointment
Before I get to my experiment from yesterday, I have to say we had an insane weather day here in Middle of Nowhere. I live in northern Ontario but you’d never know it. Yesterday, all our snow was gone. And then we had a winter storm warning. (Which I think is a stupid name. It should be called look out the damn window.) My sister told me yesterday that the Weather People were expecting fifteen centimetres. I thought she was being silly. That’s half a foot! But yeah, I woke up this morning and this is what it looked like.
Here's the view from my front yard early this morning.
This is what it looks like when there isn’t a whole whack of snow obstructing the view. I took this around four or five tonight.
Crazy much? And yes, it's snowing again as I type this.
As to my experiment, over the last few days I’ve gotten a ridiculous amount of hits. I’ve had this phenomenon once before. First it was over that Stephanie March picture. The other day it was over the Kayley Cuoco picture. For the hell of it, I wanted to see if a shirtless Mark Salling would have an effect. It did not. Curious. I think I’ll repeat this test with Brad Pitt. He’s sexiest man around/alive right? I never got it... then again, I’m super gay. If this doesn’t work, I’ll just have to resign myself to the fact that women are simply more attractive than men.
In the meantime,
Dear Kayley Cuoco,
I chose a picture of you pretty much at random for my blog. It’s a lovely picture and I thought that given the point I was making, it would also be a little funny. As a result of including that picture in my post, I’ve gotten an obscene amount of hits. Thank you. This experiment has amused me.
On a bad day, you may take comfort in knowing that you got more hits than Stephanie March. That argument could also be made in the case of Salma Hayek. I know this information means the world to you and so feel required to pass it on.
Next, you will be doing battle with Brad Pitt. I hope you are prepared. I was going to make a hot blonde comment... is he blonde? I don’t care. Best of luck to you. And Brad. I’m impartial.
And because I can, I have a riddle for all of you. Kayley and Brad, you can participate too if you so choose. I was bored and wanted to make muffins. I lined up all my ingredients to make sure I had everything. I read the recipe, followed the directions, did everything as it was meant to be done. I got to the end of the baking process and suddenly everything went wrong. If I didn’t spill anything, drop anything, forget anything or burn anything, what happened?
As always, I have a hint for you.
I was not impressed. Thankfully, it still came out okay. Blueberry muffin-cake anyone?
Lauren.
Here's the view from my front yard early this morning.
This is what it looks like when there isn’t a whole whack of snow obstructing the view. I took this around four or five tonight.
Crazy much? And yes, it's snowing again as I type this.
As to my experiment, over the last few days I’ve gotten a ridiculous amount of hits. I’ve had this phenomenon once before. First it was over that Stephanie March picture. The other day it was over the Kayley Cuoco picture. For the hell of it, I wanted to see if a shirtless Mark Salling would have an effect. It did not. Curious. I think I’ll repeat this test with Brad Pitt. He’s sexiest man around/alive right? I never got it... then again, I’m super gay. If this doesn’t work, I’ll just have to resign myself to the fact that women are simply more attractive than men.
In the meantime,
Dear Kayley Cuoco,
I chose a picture of you pretty much at random for my blog. It’s a lovely picture and I thought that given the point I was making, it would also be a little funny. As a result of including that picture in my post, I’ve gotten an obscene amount of hits. Thank you. This experiment has amused me.
On a bad day, you may take comfort in knowing that you got more hits than Stephanie March. That argument could also be made in the case of Salma Hayek. I know this information means the world to you and so feel required to pass it on.
Next, you will be doing battle with Brad Pitt. I hope you are prepared. I was going to make a hot blonde comment... is he blonde? I don’t care. Best of luck to you. And Brad. I’m impartial.
And because I can, I have a riddle for all of you. Kayley and Brad, you can participate too if you so choose. I was bored and wanted to make muffins. I lined up all my ingredients to make sure I had everything. I read the recipe, followed the directions, did everything as it was meant to be done. I got to the end of the baking process and suddenly everything went wrong. If I didn’t spill anything, drop anything, forget anything or burn anything, what happened?
As always, I have a hint for you.
I was not impressed. Thankfully, it still came out okay. Blueberry muffin-cake anyone?
Lauren.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Night of Neglect Winner: Tina!
Today I participated in a ritual I have been performing for a while now. It’s called The Four Year Purge. Every four years, I go through everything in my room and get rid of anything I haven’t seen, used or thought of in the last four years. I chose four years because I did it in eighth grade when I was starting high school, I did in after twelfth grade before starting university and now that I’m done university, I needed to clean. I usually clean after each school year anyway, so it all works out. I was surprised by how little I ended up getting rid of. Paper and clothes wise, there was quite a bit, but that’s pretty normal... I had very little actual junk. With all the sorting, reorganising and cleaning, it took about six hours.
So that’s what I did today. I found some really weird shit too... like, empty packages. Why would I keep that? Or paperclips. I have no idea why, but I found a ton of paperclips all over the place. I never even use paperclips. Where did they come from? What else did I find... A whole wad of really tangled yoyo strings... with no yoyo. WTF?
But on to Glee!
Well, I was a little disappointed. Clearly I had high hopes for a lot of drama that didn’t really happen. Although, I am really happy that Will and Emma can get back together now. She’s just so sad... and mental illness really is exhausting. Some people don’t get that ‘cause you don’t see it. But those are my issues. Getting back on point! I was really annoyed with Tina’s number. After watching those Glee parodies, I actually realized that Tina really doesn’t have a storyline, she barely has any lines and wherever she is in the show, she’s usually being interrupted by something; whether that be hecklers or a very strange but kind of funny random emotional outburst. Is she just a holdover from last season that the TV People haven’t figured out how to use yet? Tina's the neglected one! I also get what Lauren was talking about, taking respect, but not really diggin’ the way she thinks it’s done. Though I do have to admit, confused Quinn next to confused Finn is pretty funny. They kind of have the same vacant expression (to match their same sounding names). Except Quinn doesn’t wear hers constantly. Like Finn. Dumbass. And if you thought my Finn bashing was random, I’ll argue that so was Sunshine’s reappearance. She looks really familiar... was she on Ellen at some point? Ellen’s talk show not her sitcom. I’m going to look into that.
Santana. I never really liked her, but she is now my number two favourite character. There is potential for her to sneak into first. Love the line “right or left, it’s your choice”. Dare I say it, I’m recognizing myself in her? Except she’s so much more kick-assy than I am or ever was. I only wish! I really want her to get Brittany. Go Santana! Do it for all the girls who fell for their best friends and got rejected in a nice way so they couldn’t really be angry or upset! Not that that’s ever happened to me... (cough). Definitely not more than once... (cough cough).
I have one more thing to say about Glee before I try out an experiment. Yes, another one. I love Rachel. I wish I could shrink her down and put her in my pocket. I’d never need a thesaurus or MP3 player ever again. So practical! But on to the experiment!
Mark Salling or Puck without a shirt! Gasp! I’ll tell you what the experiment is tomorrow.
Night all!
Lauren.
So that’s what I did today. I found some really weird shit too... like, empty packages. Why would I keep that? Or paperclips. I have no idea why, but I found a ton of paperclips all over the place. I never even use paperclips. Where did they come from? What else did I find... A whole wad of really tangled yoyo strings... with no yoyo. WTF?
But on to Glee!
Well, I was a little disappointed. Clearly I had high hopes for a lot of drama that didn’t really happen. Although, I am really happy that Will and Emma can get back together now. She’s just so sad... and mental illness really is exhausting. Some people don’t get that ‘cause you don’t see it. But those are my issues. Getting back on point! I was really annoyed with Tina’s number. After watching those Glee parodies, I actually realized that Tina really doesn’t have a storyline, she barely has any lines and wherever she is in the show, she’s usually being interrupted by something; whether that be hecklers or a very strange but kind of funny random emotional outburst. Is she just a holdover from last season that the TV People haven’t figured out how to use yet? Tina's the neglected one! I also get what Lauren was talking about, taking respect, but not really diggin’ the way she thinks it’s done. Though I do have to admit, confused Quinn next to confused Finn is pretty funny. They kind of have the same vacant expression (to match their same sounding names). Except Quinn doesn’t wear hers constantly. Like Finn. Dumbass. And if you thought my Finn bashing was random, I’ll argue that so was Sunshine’s reappearance. She looks really familiar... was she on Ellen at some point? Ellen’s talk show not her sitcom. I’m going to look into that.
Santana. I never really liked her, but she is now my number two favourite character. There is potential for her to sneak into first. Love the line “right or left, it’s your choice”. Dare I say it, I’m recognizing myself in her? Except she’s so much more kick-assy than I am or ever was. I only wish! I really want her to get Brittany. Go Santana! Do it for all the girls who fell for their best friends and got rejected in a nice way so they couldn’t really be angry or upset! Not that that’s ever happened to me... (cough). Definitely not more than once... (cough cough).
I have one more thing to say about Glee before I try out an experiment. Yes, another one. I love Rachel. I wish I could shrink her down and put her in my pocket. I’d never need a thesaurus or MP3 player ever again. So practical! But on to the experiment!
Mark Salling or Puck without a shirt! Gasp! I’ll tell you what the experiment is tomorrow.
Night all!
Lauren.
Monday, April 18, 2011
TV Withdrawals
A momentous day! I finished my paper, I handed it in. Fourth year is officially over! WOOT WOOT!
It’s actually been a momentous week. Last exam. Handed in my keys. But most shocking of all, my post on boob cookies has finally been unseated as top post. It’s been my most popular post for I don’t know how long. And this week, my 2011 New Year’s post beat it. I'm not sure why, but there you have it. My post on Glee Anthems is also getting close though I think that has something to do with Justin Bieber.
Speaking of which! Glee is on tomorrow! I can finally watch it and not have to worry about finishing up a bunch of seminar readings! Since the shows I watch haven’t been on regularly, I’ve taken to checking out TV listings online. This week on Glee promises the following:
“The glee club agrees to help raise funds for another under-the-radar group; big decisions are made and relationships are tested.”
Yay... they’re raising funds... Moving on. Decisions made? Relationships tested? You don’t say! So, I’m all for the Artie/Brittany thing coming to an end. I’m over it. Let’s have some Brittany/Santana romance going on. And, I also think that Quinn should dump Finn’s stupid ass... and Rachel should just... get over Finn. He’s such a jackass! Why do they all fight over him? I don’t understand! Someone needs to explain it to me. How is it that half the cast has dated, crushed on or slept with him? Rachel and Quinn should just get together. It would be hot and it would piss Finn off which would make me doubly happy. Seriously, Rachel and Quinn only hate each other because they're so alike. They can totally work with that. It's not even really hate at this point... let's call it sexual tension. There's a pretty obvious way of solving that TV People. I think you know what it is.
I really hope these decisions and challenges have nothing to do with Blaine and Kurt. That would just make me sad. They just got together! No Karofsky problems! Although, something really does need to be done about that storyline... I feel it’s kind of... unresolved. OH! Maybe Lauren will finally give in to Puck? I don’t know how I would feel about that. I see it going wrong for some reason. But maybe that’s the pleasant twist in the show. Maybe they'll be happy? Oh, who am I kidding? You can't have happiness on TV.
I’m thinking about this too much. I’m suffering from TV withdrawals. ...Wait, wasn’t there Miss Pillsbury tension too? Bah! Enough! I’ll watch it tomorrow. In the meantime, I shall have to sustain myself with youtube videos. I found this one the other night while procrastinating. I think it makes some interesting points. And yes, I did watch the other episodes as well. I’m a dedicated procrastinator.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKGNmqd58Ig&NR=1 (I couldn’t embed it)
Made me laugh though my mom couldn’t understand why. Love Quinn's eyebrows hehe! I needed a laugh by the time I got to page 15 of my essay.
So, that’s that for today in Lauren Land. First day of summer vacay tomorrow!
Lauren.
It’s actually been a momentous week. Last exam. Handed in my keys. But most shocking of all, my post on boob cookies has finally been unseated as top post. It’s been my most popular post for I don’t know how long. And this week, my 2011 New Year’s post beat it. I'm not sure why, but there you have it. My post on Glee Anthems is also getting close though I think that has something to do with Justin Bieber.
Speaking of which! Glee is on tomorrow! I can finally watch it and not have to worry about finishing up a bunch of seminar readings! Since the shows I watch haven’t been on regularly, I’ve taken to checking out TV listings online. This week on Glee promises the following:
“The glee club agrees to help raise funds for another under-the-radar group; big decisions are made and relationships are tested.”
Yay... they’re raising funds... Moving on. Decisions made? Relationships tested? You don’t say! So, I’m all for the Artie/Brittany thing coming to an end. I’m over it. Let’s have some Brittany/Santana romance going on. And, I also think that Quinn should dump Finn’s stupid ass... and Rachel should just... get over Finn. He’s such a jackass! Why do they all fight over him? I don’t understand! Someone needs to explain it to me. How is it that half the cast has dated, crushed on or slept with him? Rachel and Quinn should just get together. It would be hot and it would piss Finn off which would make me doubly happy. Seriously, Rachel and Quinn only hate each other because they're so alike. They can totally work with that. It's not even really hate at this point... let's call it sexual tension. There's a pretty obvious way of solving that TV People. I think you know what it is.
I really hope these decisions and challenges have nothing to do with Blaine and Kurt. That would just make me sad. They just got together! No Karofsky problems! Although, something really does need to be done about that storyline... I feel it’s kind of... unresolved. OH! Maybe Lauren will finally give in to Puck? I don’t know how I would feel about that. I see it going wrong for some reason. But maybe that’s the pleasant twist in the show. Maybe they'll be happy? Oh, who am I kidding? You can't have happiness on TV.
I’m thinking about this too much. I’m suffering from TV withdrawals. ...Wait, wasn’t there Miss Pillsbury tension too? Bah! Enough! I’ll watch it tomorrow. In the meantime, I shall have to sustain myself with youtube videos. I found this one the other night while procrastinating. I think it makes some interesting points. And yes, I did watch the other episodes as well. I’m a dedicated procrastinator.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKGNmqd58Ig&NR=1 (I couldn’t embed it)
Made me laugh though my mom couldn’t understand why. Love Quinn's eyebrows hehe! I needed a laugh by the time I got to page 15 of my essay.
So, that’s that for today in Lauren Land. First day of summer vacay tomorrow!
Lauren.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Herbal Essences Question
Two quick announcements before I get to the rest of today’s post.
Firstly! The CO2 emergency of yesterday was a false alarm. Our detector was apparently old and defective. It did however bring three firemen to my home. None of them female. Darn. I was having fun entertaining damsel in distress scenarios. Anyway, three men, one bald, one with short hair and one with bed head. Bed Head must have been close to seven feet tall. Who needs a ladder? In any case I would rather be safe than sorry. Well, I wouldn’t have been very sorry... I’d be dead. So, my statement about having working alarms stands.
Secondly! The paper from hell, the history thesis, my nemesis, has finally been defeated. Lauren beats paper! With my brain, not scissors! God, I’m so glad that’s over with. I’ll revise it tomorrow, hand it in and officially be done fourth year. If you’re curious as to why this paper was so evil, this was my thesis:
“In order to keep Britain ahead of other nations, medical and scientific professionals sought by means of physiognomy, phrenology and especially eugenics to manufacture a nationalist, elite citizenry that would guarantee British racial superiority. In reality however, their endeavours only succeeded in accomplishing greater class stratification which further marginalized and subordinated the working classes and women to the upper classes of society.”
To be clear, this is nineteenth century Britain and very early twentieth century. My latest primary source is from 1911. Why I chose that topic? No idea.
And now on the today’s post.
Dear Herbal Essences People,
I am very fond of your shampoo and conditioner. It smells really good and my hair is extremely soft. I would pet my hair all day if that weren’t creepy. I do however have a complaint. What is with the teeny tiny writing on your bottles? I can’t tell what is what. The other day, I shampooed my hair twice and did not condition. I have fine, frizzy hair. I need to condition.
Why can’t all the writing be the same size as the words “Herbal Essences”? I can see that. Everything else I need my glasses for and one cannot wear glasses in the shower. They fog up and further limit my ability to see. I’m sure you understand my dilemma. If not, perhaps this will clarify things: I’M BLIND DAMMIT, WORK WITH ME!
All I see is a white line. White lines don’t tell me anything! Unless I’m driving... but I never wash my hair while driving. That’s just dangerous.
Other than that, I do have a question. When it comes out of the bottle, the shampoo is blue, but when it’s all sudsy in the bottom of my shower, the bubbles are white. Where does the blue go? My hair is still brown so I’m pretty sure that’s not the answer. How does it magically change from blue to white? I have pink body wash and even the bubbles stay pink. I’m on to you... there’s something going on here...
I’m watching you Herbal Essences! Can you feel me watching you? ‘Cause I totally am!
Lauren.
Firstly! The CO2 emergency of yesterday was a false alarm. Our detector was apparently old and defective. It did however bring three firemen to my home. None of them female. Darn. I was having fun entertaining damsel in distress scenarios. Anyway, three men, one bald, one with short hair and one with bed head. Bed Head must have been close to seven feet tall. Who needs a ladder? In any case I would rather be safe than sorry. Well, I wouldn’t have been very sorry... I’d be dead. So, my statement about having working alarms stands.
Secondly! The paper from hell, the history thesis, my nemesis, has finally been defeated. Lauren beats paper! With my brain, not scissors! God, I’m so glad that’s over with. I’ll revise it tomorrow, hand it in and officially be done fourth year. If you’re curious as to why this paper was so evil, this was my thesis:
“In order to keep Britain ahead of other nations, medical and scientific professionals sought by means of physiognomy, phrenology and especially eugenics to manufacture a nationalist, elite citizenry that would guarantee British racial superiority. In reality however, their endeavours only succeeded in accomplishing greater class stratification which further marginalized and subordinated the working classes and women to the upper classes of society.”
To be clear, this is nineteenth century Britain and very early twentieth century. My latest primary source is from 1911. Why I chose that topic? No idea.
And now on the today’s post.
Dear Herbal Essences People,
I am very fond of your shampoo and conditioner. It smells really good and my hair is extremely soft. I would pet my hair all day if that weren’t creepy. I do however have a complaint. What is with the teeny tiny writing on your bottles? I can’t tell what is what. The other day, I shampooed my hair twice and did not condition. I have fine, frizzy hair. I need to condition.
Why can’t all the writing be the same size as the words “Herbal Essences”? I can see that. Everything else I need my glasses for and one cannot wear glasses in the shower. They fog up and further limit my ability to see. I’m sure you understand my dilemma. If not, perhaps this will clarify things: I’M BLIND DAMMIT, WORK WITH ME!
All I see is a white line. White lines don’t tell me anything! Unless I’m driving... but I never wash my hair while driving. That’s just dangerous.
Other than that, I do have a question. When it comes out of the bottle, the shampoo is blue, but when it’s all sudsy in the bottom of my shower, the bubbles are white. Where does the blue go? My hair is still brown so I’m pretty sure that’s not the answer. How does it magically change from blue to white? I have pink body wash and even the bubbles stay pink. I’m on to you... there’s something going on here...
I’m watching you Herbal Essences! Can you feel me watching you? ‘Cause I totally am!
Lauren.
Half a post due to emergency
I’m done? I somehow thought it would feel different... I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe some kind of fanfare? Trumpets sounding, crowds parting, now that’s a finish. Maybe I should have gone all Glee on everyone and exited the exam room (aka the gym) singing to music that came out of nowhere and dancing to wonderfully choreographed number, then everyone would rise up behind me and do the backup vocals. What song is befitting the completion of a degree? Maybe it’s a good thing I couldn’t think of one... I don’t sing or dance well and I think people would have been pissed at me for interrupting their exams with substandard wailing.
My exam went alright. Except that my nose kept running and I hadn’t had the foresight to bring Kleenex. Although, they may have viewed that as suspicious. They’re very strict with what you can bring to exams nowadays. No water bottles visible (they have to be under the desks). This year they added baseball hats. If you wear one, you have to either take it off or wear it backwards. Apparently someone got the idea to write answers on the brim. If you have enough time and intelligence to figure that out, why not just study?
And now that everything is out of my way, I can focus on my last paper. I got through one argument in about half the time I’d been taking. I probably could have finished my essay tonight except that my dad bought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 and I couldn’t very well not watch it... That would be criminal. So I’ll finish up the paper tomorrow, hand it in Monday and be officially done with fourth year.
It’s very strange. I still remember high school pretty vividly and here I am four years later, graduating university. Where did those four years go? Yes, it’s time for an introspective moment. Four years really isn’t all that long, but I’m completely different in a lot of ways. Eighteen year old me wouldn’t get up in anyone’s face about anything regardless of it I was right or wrong. Unless it was an extreme circumstance and my emotions were completely out of whack. I still don’t get up in people’s faces as often as I should, but I do it.
Okay, well, I had a lot more blabbering to do about maturity and growing up and blah, blah, blah, coming into yourself, life isn’t forever going to be a dark pit of horribleness... But the CO2 detector is going off and firemen will be coming. I’ll try to take pictures of any hot ones for you, but I may be playing damsel in distress for any female fire fighters that may arrive.
See you all later! And let this be a lesson. CO2 detectors can save your life. Get one, check the batteries and don’t ignore the alarm. It’s really annoying.
Lauren.
My exam went alright. Except that my nose kept running and I hadn’t had the foresight to bring Kleenex. Although, they may have viewed that as suspicious. They’re very strict with what you can bring to exams nowadays. No water bottles visible (they have to be under the desks). This year they added baseball hats. If you wear one, you have to either take it off or wear it backwards. Apparently someone got the idea to write answers on the brim. If you have enough time and intelligence to figure that out, why not just study?
And now that everything is out of my way, I can focus on my last paper. I got through one argument in about half the time I’d been taking. I probably could have finished my essay tonight except that my dad bought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 and I couldn’t very well not watch it... That would be criminal. So I’ll finish up the paper tomorrow, hand it in Monday and be officially done with fourth year.
It’s very strange. I still remember high school pretty vividly and here I am four years later, graduating university. Where did those four years go? Yes, it’s time for an introspective moment. Four years really isn’t all that long, but I’m completely different in a lot of ways. Eighteen year old me wouldn’t get up in anyone’s face about anything regardless of it I was right or wrong. Unless it was an extreme circumstance and my emotions were completely out of whack. I still don’t get up in people’s faces as often as I should, but I do it.
Okay, well, I had a lot more blabbering to do about maturity and growing up and blah, blah, blah, coming into yourself, life isn’t forever going to be a dark pit of horribleness... But the CO2 detector is going off and firemen will be coming. I’ll try to take pictures of any hot ones for you, but I may be playing damsel in distress for any female fire fighters that may arrive.
See you all later! And let this be a lesson. CO2 detectors can save your life. Get one, check the batteries and don’t ignore the alarm. It’s really annoying.
Lauren.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Busy, Greedy, Study, Way Too Early
Lots of stuff went on today. Where to begin? Shall I start with the Canadian government being made up of greedy soul-sucking bastards? Or would you rather hear about my Islamic Civ exam? Or my psych exam? Or my evil paper? See, so much!
Okay, we’ll get the negative crap out of the way first. I had to hand in my teacher’s college paperwork today. Since we sign up to teach in boards and not specific schools, it’s possible that I’ll be placed in a school outside my town. According school administrators, travelling an hour or more is not excessive. We’re responsible for our transport. So there is a possibility that I’ll need to lease a car meaning that I should get my full license to save on insurance costs. I went to book my G2 exit test today but the woman couldn’t book my test. You have to wait exactly a year between getting your G2 and your G. As it turns out, my G2 expires on the 9th of August and I can’t book my G test before the 23rd of August. How was this dilemma fixed? The woman renewed my G2 for five years (at the cost of 75$). When I go back to do my G test, I’ll have to pay another 75$ for the privilege. I paid 75$ for a license I’m going to use for a grand total of 14 days.
My Islamic Civ exam went well I think. Three sections, we could choose which questions we answered. I will admit, I kind of had to fluff my way through one of my character IDs. I had a brain fart and forgot a bunch of the reasons he was significant. I think I somewhat coherently rambled my way through the second section. In the third I got to talk about why Arab nations haven’t united. Once again I forgot to double space my answers. My prof is going to hate me. I tried to be neat at least...
As to my evil paper, I emailed my prof again this morning and she granted me the extension I was asking for. I promptly emailed her back saying that if I hugged people, I would hug her. I didn’t expect her to reply but she sent back: “Hug received. Good Luck.” Honestly, that extension saved my ass.
And now for my psych exam. I spent all year being half passed out in that class because it was a late class and I had two classes before it. I was thinking that for the exam, I would have time to study, I’d be refreshed, awake... Yeah. My exam is scheduled for 10:00AM tomorrow morning. Goody! Just was I want to wake up to on a Saturday. BUT! It’s my last undergraduate exam! And after that, I’ll only have to worry about finishing my paper.
I’m tired though. I am going to bed. Bed is good. Mmmmmmm bed.
Lauren.
Okay, we’ll get the negative crap out of the way first. I had to hand in my teacher’s college paperwork today. Since we sign up to teach in boards and not specific schools, it’s possible that I’ll be placed in a school outside my town. According school administrators, travelling an hour or more is not excessive. We’re responsible for our transport. So there is a possibility that I’ll need to lease a car meaning that I should get my full license to save on insurance costs. I went to book my G2 exit test today but the woman couldn’t book my test. You have to wait exactly a year between getting your G2 and your G. As it turns out, my G2 expires on the 9th of August and I can’t book my G test before the 23rd of August. How was this dilemma fixed? The woman renewed my G2 for five years (at the cost of 75$). When I go back to do my G test, I’ll have to pay another 75$ for the privilege. I paid 75$ for a license I’m going to use for a grand total of 14 days.
My Islamic Civ exam went well I think. Three sections, we could choose which questions we answered. I will admit, I kind of had to fluff my way through one of my character IDs. I had a brain fart and forgot a bunch of the reasons he was significant. I think I somewhat coherently rambled my way through the second section. In the third I got to talk about why Arab nations haven’t united. Once again I forgot to double space my answers. My prof is going to hate me. I tried to be neat at least...
As to my evil paper, I emailed my prof again this morning and she granted me the extension I was asking for. I promptly emailed her back saying that if I hugged people, I would hug her. I didn’t expect her to reply but she sent back: “Hug received. Good Luck.” Honestly, that extension saved my ass.
And now for my psych exam. I spent all year being half passed out in that class because it was a late class and I had two classes before it. I was thinking that for the exam, I would have time to study, I’d be refreshed, awake... Yeah. My exam is scheduled for 10:00AM tomorrow morning. Goody! Just was I want to wake up to on a Saturday. BUT! It’s my last undergraduate exam! And after that, I’ll only have to worry about finishing my paper.
I’m tired though. I am going to bed. Bed is good. Mmmmmmm bed.
Lauren.
Paper Still Beats Lauren
Can't blog. Must sleep. Must be up in six hours.
I have an exam at noon. My paper is still kicking my ass. I'm exactly at half. It's a twenty page paper and I have ten pages. It's mocking me. I've tried reading by osmosis, I'm going to try writing by osmosis tonight.
New Petpeeve:
PROFESSORS WHO DON'T ANSWER THEIR EMAIL WHEN GENUINELY OVERWHELMED STUDENTS WHO HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR AN EXTENSION ASK FOR EXTENSTIONS.
I might have to cry if I get the email I've been waiting for since yesterday. Or... Wednesday. Whatever, it's 1:40 and I've been blathering about the working class, contradictions in Galton's eugenics theories and Darwin's theory of intermediate species being crushed (in this case, intermediate meaning the middle class).
If I don't pass out, I will see you all tomorrow. Those of you who have a direct line to God, I would appreciate prayers.
And yes, I'm tempted to go looking for a pair of scissors to defeat paper once and for all.
Lauren.
I have an exam at noon. My paper is still kicking my ass. I'm exactly at half. It's a twenty page paper and I have ten pages. It's mocking me. I've tried reading by osmosis, I'm going to try writing by osmosis tonight.
New Petpeeve:
PROFESSORS WHO DON'T ANSWER THEIR EMAIL WHEN GENUINELY OVERWHELMED STUDENTS WHO HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR AN EXTENSION ASK FOR EXTENSTIONS.
I might have to cry if I get the email I've been waiting for since yesterday. Or... Wednesday. Whatever, it's 1:40 and I've been blathering about the working class, contradictions in Galton's eugenics theories and Darwin's theory of intermediate species being crushed (in this case, intermediate meaning the middle class).
If I don't pass out, I will see you all tomorrow. Those of you who have a direct line to God, I would appreciate prayers.
And yes, I'm tempted to go looking for a pair of scissors to defeat paper once and for all.
Lauren.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lauren! (Paper beats Lauren)
Ever had one of those days where you just sit back and think to yourself: ‘I am such an idiot’?
I just had a day like that. My history paper has been kicking my ass. No other paper I have written has ever been this difficult. And I did everything right! I did my research far in advance. I read ALL my research. I made notes. Lots of notes. I made a plan detailing my four arguments. I actually made about five plans all with a different thesis because the first one was too broad, the second one too confusing, so on and so forth. I’ve written three completely different introductions. I hate this paper. It is the devil. I mean it. How could I do all that prep work and still have writer’s block? I tried to pawn it off on Veronica but she said my thesis was too smart. Well, I disagree with Veronica’s comment regarding her intelligence! Clearly she was smart enough to stay the hell away from it. That makes her smarter than me who is writing it.
I have never had so much trouble writing 1300 words. That’s how long my first argument is. My first of four... Ack! I think I’m just a bit overwhelmed by the amount of research I have. I have three books, fifteen articles, six news papers, a novel and a partridge in a pear tree in case I get hungry. My room looks like a tornado ripped through it and dropped off the contents of a paper mill. Not even the cat dares to enter.
I was working on my dinosaur (my old but faithful computer) and had my journal articles up on my laptop. This is what my screen looked like. I’m not kidding you.
But on the bright side, I’m learning. For instance, I learned the technical way to say “vasectomy”. It’s: resection of the vas deferens. When I will use that in daily conversation I know not. The word of the day however is: salpingectomy. It doesn’t sound like a real thing but it is. When I read it the first time I had no idea what the hell a salping was supposed to be. I figured out what an ovariotomy was because the prefix makes sense. So I googled salpingectomy and I does not look or sound pleasant. There were videos... I avoided them. It’s the removal of the fallopian tubes. Yup... I’m reading about sterilisation methods again! Because reading about them in a Nazi Germany context wasn’t awful enough to keep me away. That’s sarcasm... in case you were wondering. It really should have been enough.
Also, in case you’re wondering, I’m reading medical journals. The British Medical Journal actually. I think it’s another reason this paper is taking so long to write. I’m not sciency. Which brings me back to my initial question. I am an idiot. Why the hell would I choose this topic? Why would I do this to myself? WHY?!
Still on the bright side, I’m indescribably glad to be a woman living in Canada in 2011. I do not want to know how doctors went about performing salpingectomies or ovariotomies in the nineteenth century.
I do however want to go to bed. It’s two in the morning and I’m probably going to have nightmares.
Lauren.
I just had a day like that. My history paper has been kicking my ass. No other paper I have written has ever been this difficult. And I did everything right! I did my research far in advance. I read ALL my research. I made notes. Lots of notes. I made a plan detailing my four arguments. I actually made about five plans all with a different thesis because the first one was too broad, the second one too confusing, so on and so forth. I’ve written three completely different introductions. I hate this paper. It is the devil. I mean it. How could I do all that prep work and still have writer’s block? I tried to pawn it off on Veronica but she said my thesis was too smart. Well, I disagree with Veronica’s comment regarding her intelligence! Clearly she was smart enough to stay the hell away from it. That makes her smarter than me who is writing it.
I have never had so much trouble writing 1300 words. That’s how long my first argument is. My first of four... Ack! I think I’m just a bit overwhelmed by the amount of research I have. I have three books, fifteen articles, six news papers, a novel and a partridge in a pear tree in case I get hungry. My room looks like a tornado ripped through it and dropped off the contents of a paper mill. Not even the cat dares to enter.
I was working on my dinosaur (my old but faithful computer) and had my journal articles up on my laptop. This is what my screen looked like. I’m not kidding you.
But on the bright side, I’m learning. For instance, I learned the technical way to say “vasectomy”. It’s: resection of the vas deferens. When I will use that in daily conversation I know not. The word of the day however is: salpingectomy. It doesn’t sound like a real thing but it is. When I read it the first time I had no idea what the hell a salping was supposed to be. I figured out what an ovariotomy was because the prefix makes sense. So I googled salpingectomy and I does not look or sound pleasant. There were videos... I avoided them. It’s the removal of the fallopian tubes. Yup... I’m reading about sterilisation methods again! Because reading about them in a Nazi Germany context wasn’t awful enough to keep me away. That’s sarcasm... in case you were wondering. It really should have been enough.
Also, in case you’re wondering, I’m reading medical journals. The British Medical Journal actually. I think it’s another reason this paper is taking so long to write. I’m not sciency. Which brings me back to my initial question. I am an idiot. Why the hell would I choose this topic? Why would I do this to myself? WHY?!
Still on the bright side, I’m indescribably glad to be a woman living in Canada in 2011. I do not want to know how doctors went about performing salpingectomies or ovariotomies in the nineteenth century.
I do however want to go to bed. It’s two in the morning and I’m probably going to have nightmares.
Lauren.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Big Bang! Who Am I?
I am procrastinating. I should be writing my twenty page history thesis, but am I? No. I have writer’s block. Why does it always come at such inconvenient times? Seriously though, this thing has to be done by tomorrow. But! I’m actually taking the time to write a blog post today. So hopefully it won’t be as craptastic as the last few.
The other day, prior to entering Essay-land, I was doing something pointless online. I don’t remember what, but I came across a Big Bang Theory character quiz. Well, I couldn’t resist that now could I? So I took it and was mildly surprised by the result. There are some similarities, but I really don’t think I’m as bad as Sheldon. Because everyone knows that the Internet never lies, I had to be sure the diagnosis was in fact correct. I found a different quiz on a different site and shockingly enough, I got a different result. Again, not all that surprised. I have a lot in common with Raj too. Though, while he has a condition, I think my failed attempts to talk to other humans comes from being shy and awkward. I like his excuse better. As a tie breaker (I had to be sure! Identity is very important!) I took a third quiz. It was then that I realized the Internet doesn’t know me at all. I got Leonard. How could I be Sheldon, Raj and Leonard all rolled into one? Is that a scary combination or what? Actually, does that just make me average?
But do you think I stopped procrastinating there? I did not. Apparently I’ll be marrying Penny. Yeah... I don’t have a problem with that. My children will be smart and beautiful!
And yes, I did choose this particular picture as a joke. Ha?
While I’m a little disappointed to not know who I am, I have to say, I’m pleased to know I’m not Howard. God he’s creepy. And I think he would be smelly. I don’t know why. He just looks like someone who would be smelly.
See? Don’t you think those stink lines just... fit? Okay, so it looks like he has a smelly head... drawing in Paint is hard!
Anyway, back to my paper... boo.
Lauren.
The other day, prior to entering Essay-land, I was doing something pointless online. I don’t remember what, but I came across a Big Bang Theory character quiz. Well, I couldn’t resist that now could I? So I took it and was mildly surprised by the result. There are some similarities, but I really don’t think I’m as bad as Sheldon. Because everyone knows that the Internet never lies, I had to be sure the diagnosis was in fact correct. I found a different quiz on a different site and shockingly enough, I got a different result. Again, not all that surprised. I have a lot in common with Raj too. Though, while he has a condition, I think my failed attempts to talk to other humans comes from being shy and awkward. I like his excuse better. As a tie breaker (I had to be sure! Identity is very important!) I took a third quiz. It was then that I realized the Internet doesn’t know me at all. I got Leonard. How could I be Sheldon, Raj and Leonard all rolled into one? Is that a scary combination or what? Actually, does that just make me average?
But do you think I stopped procrastinating there? I did not. Apparently I’ll be marrying Penny. Yeah... I don’t have a problem with that. My children will be smart and beautiful!
And yes, I did choose this particular picture as a joke. Ha?
While I’m a little disappointed to not know who I am, I have to say, I’m pleased to know I’m not Howard. God he’s creepy. And I think he would be smelly. I don’t know why. He just looks like someone who would be smelly.
See? Don’t you think those stink lines just... fit? Okay, so it looks like he has a smelly head... drawing in Paint is hard!
Anyway, back to my paper... boo.
Lauren.
Last Undergrad English Paper!
To continue my 1AM pop-in series...
I just finished writing my last undergraduate English paper! Woot! I'm actually quite proud of it. I don't know if it's because it's the last one, because my prof disagreed with my idea and I wrote it anyway, or because I just really like it. I have to go through it tomorrow and revise, but for now, I think it's great. Not holding out hope for a great grade, but at least I like it which is the goal I set for myself. I have my reasons for setting that particular goal. I may tell you later. You all know it's a paper about how Charlotte Bronte wrote Shirley and Caroline (from Shirley) as lesbians, but my thesis is that she wrote them as lesbians to critique the place of women in social and economic life. I think it works. And it makes sense of that contradictory intro. The title is: Lesbianism is the Solution. I advocate a real life application of that too... in case you were wondering.
Other than that, I didn't do much. Watched a lot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch with my sister. I remember laughing at that show so hard, but at the more obvious, slap-stick, funny face making moments. Now I'm laughing at the jokes and somehow, I'm laughing throughout the entire episode and not just at certain moments. Growing up is weird.
Tomorrow I shall endeavour to write a 20 page paper. Today's wound up being thirteen pages. I can write seven more... I really want to get it all done tomorrow so I can study for my two exams. I want to kick ass in psych!
I'll stop talking now... must save some boredom for tomorrow!
Lauren.
I just finished writing my last undergraduate English paper! Woot! I'm actually quite proud of it. I don't know if it's because it's the last one, because my prof disagreed with my idea and I wrote it anyway, or because I just really like it. I have to go through it tomorrow and revise, but for now, I think it's great. Not holding out hope for a great grade, but at least I like it which is the goal I set for myself. I have my reasons for setting that particular goal. I may tell you later. You all know it's a paper about how Charlotte Bronte wrote Shirley and Caroline (from Shirley) as lesbians, but my thesis is that she wrote them as lesbians to critique the place of women in social and economic life. I think it works. And it makes sense of that contradictory intro. The title is: Lesbianism is the Solution. I advocate a real life application of that too... in case you were wondering.
Other than that, I didn't do much. Watched a lot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch with my sister. I remember laughing at that show so hard, but at the more obvious, slap-stick, funny face making moments. Now I'm laughing at the jokes and somehow, I'm laughing throughout the entire episode and not just at certain moments. Growing up is weird.
Tomorrow I shall endeavour to write a 20 page paper. Today's wound up being thirteen pages. I can write seven more... I really want to get it all done tomorrow so I can study for my two exams. I want to kick ass in psych!
I'll stop talking now... must save some boredom for tomorrow!
Lauren.
Monday, April 11, 2011
1 AM Pop-In
Sorry! Can't blog today.
Busy prosecuting 1848 case of literary lesbianism.
Also afraid of on-going electrical storm and potential for electrocution.
Sporcle.com is evil and distracting. You should check it out.
Laugh of the day courtesy of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Dream Date
Harvey: I play the bassoon.
Sabrina: I think that's sexy.
Libby: Maybe to another bassoon...
I'm off to bed. Hope you've all had a good day.
Lauren.
Busy prosecuting 1848 case of literary lesbianism.
Also afraid of on-going electrical storm and potential for electrocution.
Sporcle.com is evil and distracting. You should check it out.
Laugh of the day courtesy of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Dream Date
Harvey: I play the bassoon.
Sabrina: I think that's sexy.
Libby: Maybe to another bassoon...
I'm off to bed. Hope you've all had a good day.
Lauren.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
New!
Today I met my newest second cousin. She’s ridiculously cute, all bright eyes and big smiles. The cuteness factor of twenty super cute puppies is not enough to compare. One of my aunts wanted to kidnap her. If I weren’t terrified of babies I might have considered it. Of course my cousin was walking around flashing pictures at everyone. It was kind of funny to see him all giddy. Though I have to admit, the picture of his daughter in her car seat is absolutely priceless.
We were the first ones there so my mom got possession of the baby easily enough. My grandma followed and only relinquished her when she started crying. She was hungry and my grandmother was unable to help out on that front. But when she somehow got the baby back, no one wanted to challenge the great grandmother for baby rights. My cousin’s brother showed up eventually (obviously also my cousin but it gets too confusing to keep saying ‘my cousin’) eager to hold his niece. We were leaving at that point and warned him that he’d have to take on my grandma. He deflated pretty quickly.
My grandma has powers. She has rule over eight children, their spouses, seventeen grandchildren, their spouses (half of us have been married off), and now six great grandchildren. We could make up a small village... I love my big family. Sometimes they bug the crap out of me, but then when I imagine not having them, it’s just weird. I also kind of love being among the youngest in the family. All of my cousins have connections that I may or may not take advantage of when the opportunity arises. I also benefit because some of my cousins have done some really stupid shit and no matter what my mom complains about, I’m squeaky clean by comparison. This is what younger siblings experience isn’t it?
In other news, I get to go job hunting! Woo! Just when I can start enjoying my joblessness. My mom wants me to go back to the bookstore and apply again (for the third time) because “I have a connection with the manager”. When I told my unnamed prof about it, turns out she’s friends with the manager and gave me permission to use her as a reference. She also suggested I look at another bookstore in town. She knows the owner there too. I think my mom and my prof have been talking. That or my prof is sympathising with my mom. I don’t know if I like it. I’ll love it if it gets me a job, but their potential closeness freaks me out. I do not need those two teaming up.
I forgot about Tangled! Watched it, loved it. It was like old school Disney with new animation techniques. The slapstick quality was lovely, the animation was great, the Rapunzel story was different than I remember, but still with recognisable elements. I laughed, my dad laughed, even my mom enjoyed it and she hates cartoons. Nothing like Disney to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And I love the use of frying pans as weapons. Brilliant!
Lauren.
Friday, April 8, 2011
The Last Class
I have a grand total of three things to say today. One is a statement of fact worthy of celebration, the second is an opinion and the last is a movie review. Ready? Big news first.
I HAD MY VERY LAST UNDERGRADUATE CLASS TODAY!
I don’t know how I got through this year, but I did it. I have two papers and two exams left and then everything will officially be over. As of Saturday next week, I’ll be done with one degree. I still maintain that the letters BA at the end of my name are a stupid creation of society, but dammit, I worked hard for them! I hate feeling ambivalent.
Number Two: After I picked up my mom (I was running late and therefore also running the occasional amber light) we went out for supper. It was only the two of us. Everything went exactly the way regular restaurant outings usually go. And then we finished eating. Some guy my mom threw out of a job interview last week (we hope he didn’t spit in our food) came and collected our plates. We waited and waited for the waitress to bring us our bill. We had to have been sitting there twenty minutes before the manager popped up at our table, as if from thin air, with our waitress cowering behind her. We both thought: What the hell did we do?
They started babbling and I just sat there listening to the most random, weird story ever. Apparently our waitress was convinced that she hadn’t brought us our food. Which she hadn’t. Someone else did. But because our table was cleared and she hadn’t checked on us during our meal, she thought we were still waiting for our food. Food that obviously, was no longer in the kitchen. They told us about how they went through their entire computer system checking this and that and asking questions only to come to the conclusion that our food hadn’t been prepared. Our waitress was so embarrassed that she didn’t want to come back to our table (which accounted for the wait) and so she brought the manager along to give us a discount. The weirder part is that the manager had stopped by our table to ask how our food was earlier in the evening (my mouth was full and everything!). My mom and I assured them that we had in fact gotten our food (damn our honesty) and then the apologies started. One apology, fine. Two, yes, okay, you’re embarrassed. Three apologies, I get it, you’re sorry. Four times, forget about it, I would have if you weren’t still standing here holding my check hostage. Five times, GIMME THE BILL! My opinion on this matter: One apology will suffice. We didn’t get the discount.
And lastly, the review. I just finished watching “Eat, Pray, Love” starring Julia Roberts. I’m always a little leery about Julia. She’s made some craptastic movies. But I didn’t mind this one. It was longer, had some awkward flashback sequences, but overall, it was watchable. I haven’t read the book, but I imagine it would be a good read based on what I saw. There were a lot of very interesting characters that I would have loved to get to know in greater depth. The main storyline isn’t anything new really, kind of like Under the Tuscan Sun (Diane Lane) in that a writer, still wounded from her divorce, goes off to a foreign country to make friends, eat, get back in touch with herself and write. It was a good travel movie and it had its funny, sweet moments. I’d watch it again. It would be a great movie to watch when you're sick! When you just want something easy and light and pretty to watch.
Tomorrow I’ll be reviewing Tangled. I know. Exciting!
Lauren.
I HAD MY VERY LAST UNDERGRADUATE CLASS TODAY!
I don’t know how I got through this year, but I did it. I have two papers and two exams left and then everything will officially be over. As of Saturday next week, I’ll be done with one degree. I still maintain that the letters BA at the end of my name are a stupid creation of society, but dammit, I worked hard for them! I hate feeling ambivalent.
Number Two: After I picked up my mom (I was running late and therefore also running the occasional amber light) we went out for supper. It was only the two of us. Everything went exactly the way regular restaurant outings usually go. And then we finished eating. Some guy my mom threw out of a job interview last week (we hope he didn’t spit in our food) came and collected our plates. We waited and waited for the waitress to bring us our bill. We had to have been sitting there twenty minutes before the manager popped up at our table, as if from thin air, with our waitress cowering behind her. We both thought: What the hell did we do?
They started babbling and I just sat there listening to the most random, weird story ever. Apparently our waitress was convinced that she hadn’t brought us our food. Which she hadn’t. Someone else did. But because our table was cleared and she hadn’t checked on us during our meal, she thought we were still waiting for our food. Food that obviously, was no longer in the kitchen. They told us about how they went through their entire computer system checking this and that and asking questions only to come to the conclusion that our food hadn’t been prepared. Our waitress was so embarrassed that she didn’t want to come back to our table (which accounted for the wait) and so she brought the manager along to give us a discount. The weirder part is that the manager had stopped by our table to ask how our food was earlier in the evening (my mouth was full and everything!). My mom and I assured them that we had in fact gotten our food (damn our honesty) and then the apologies started. One apology, fine. Two, yes, okay, you’re embarrassed. Three apologies, I get it, you’re sorry. Four times, forget about it, I would have if you weren’t still standing here holding my check hostage. Five times, GIMME THE BILL! My opinion on this matter: One apology will suffice. We didn’t get the discount.
And lastly, the review. I just finished watching “Eat, Pray, Love” starring Julia Roberts. I’m always a little leery about Julia. She’s made some craptastic movies. But I didn’t mind this one. It was longer, had some awkward flashback sequences, but overall, it was watchable. I haven’t read the book, but I imagine it would be a good read based on what I saw. There were a lot of very interesting characters that I would have loved to get to know in greater depth. The main storyline isn’t anything new really, kind of like Under the Tuscan Sun (Diane Lane) in that a writer, still wounded from her divorce, goes off to a foreign country to make friends, eat, get back in touch with herself and write. It was a good travel movie and it had its funny, sweet moments. I’d watch it again. It would be a great movie to watch when you're sick! When you just want something easy and light and pretty to watch.
Tomorrow I’ll be reviewing Tangled. I know. Exciting!
Lauren.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
"Sex With Ducks and Gay Marriage are One and the Same"
Thought of the day:
When I was fake-straight, life was oppressive, but relatively easy.
When I accepted that I’m super gay and finally got comfortable with that fact, I became so much more argumentative. Or is that old age creeping up on me a touch early? I’ve always been stubborn but now I’m just plain combative. Whenever someone tells me “No, you can’t” I immediately feel the need to sneer and say “Just watch me”. I don’t know... Regardless of which of those scenarios is true, I’ve somehow managed to get into yet another kerfuffle at school with our worthless administrators. I won’t say much more on the matter but I can’t wait to be done with my school. One more year. One more painstakingly closed-minded, discrimination-filled year and I will leave and so help me God, never look back. Yes, I’m still unbelievably angry. The image of speeding off to Toronto or Quebec or New York in a cloud of dust with all my earthly belongings will have to sustain me another three hundred and sixty five days. But isn’t it a lovely image? I’m practically salivating.
Anyway, since I can’t talk about what’s actually bothering me for fear of what my mother would term “burning bridges”, I’ve got something else to discuss today. It won’t have anything to do with Glee. A friend of mine showed me this really funny video with a catchy tune that I would love to show you all. But first, we need background! This is what the funny video is referring to. (You may have seen/heard of this already)
Sorry... I couldn’t find a clip without the Vader music, though it is oddly fitting. I don’t really want to comment on Pat Robertson. I feel like my IQ would drop significantly if I addressed any of his points. And by the way, I don’t see what’s wrong with consenting adults practicing polygamy or polyandry. Why are we all so interested in what we do in our bedrooms? Personally, I can’t even get one girlfriend, if you can successfully juggle more than one wife or husband, I feel applause is probably in order. Is that an example of the slippery slope of downward spiralling? Note: it’s not a STRAIGHT descent.
In any case, the following clip is a response to Pat Robertson. I think they say it better than I could. And it’s set to music! Which I would never subject you to. I should only sing to comfort death row inmates. Death would seem more appealing.
If you were hoping to actually see people having sex with ducks, I’m sorry to disappoint you but I don’t swing that way. I still don’t really know how that would work either... not that I want to. Don’t tell me if you know. I’m happy being ignorant in this case.
Lauren.
When I was fake-straight, life was oppressive, but relatively easy.
When I accepted that I’m super gay and finally got comfortable with that fact, I became so much more argumentative. Or is that old age creeping up on me a touch early? I’ve always been stubborn but now I’m just plain combative. Whenever someone tells me “No, you can’t” I immediately feel the need to sneer and say “Just watch me”. I don’t know... Regardless of which of those scenarios is true, I’ve somehow managed to get into yet another kerfuffle at school with our worthless administrators. I won’t say much more on the matter but I can’t wait to be done with my school. One more year. One more painstakingly closed-minded, discrimination-filled year and I will leave and so help me God, never look back. Yes, I’m still unbelievably angry. The image of speeding off to Toronto or Quebec or New York in a cloud of dust with all my earthly belongings will have to sustain me another three hundred and sixty five days. But isn’t it a lovely image? I’m practically salivating.
Anyway, since I can’t talk about what’s actually bothering me for fear of what my mother would term “burning bridges”, I’ve got something else to discuss today. It won’t have anything to do with Glee. A friend of mine showed me this really funny video with a catchy tune that I would love to show you all. But first, we need background! This is what the funny video is referring to. (You may have seen/heard of this already)
Sorry... I couldn’t find a clip without the Vader music, though it is oddly fitting. I don’t really want to comment on Pat Robertson. I feel like my IQ would drop significantly if I addressed any of his points. And by the way, I don’t see what’s wrong with consenting adults practicing polygamy or polyandry. Why are we all so interested in what we do in our bedrooms? Personally, I can’t even get one girlfriend, if you can successfully juggle more than one wife or husband, I feel applause is probably in order. Is that an example of the slippery slope of downward spiralling? Note: it’s not a STRAIGHT descent.
In any case, the following clip is a response to Pat Robertson. I think they say it better than I could. And it’s set to music! Which I would never subject you to. I should only sing to comfort death row inmates. Death would seem more appealing.
If you were hoping to actually see people having sex with ducks, I’m sorry to disappoint you but I don’t swing that way. I still don’t really know how that would work either... not that I want to. Don’t tell me if you know. I’m happy being ignorant in this case.
Lauren.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Last Wednesday of 10-11
Another slow day. Not a whole lot to tell ya. I found a really good Faberry fanfiction that I’ve been reading instead of writing my papers. I know... When I start complaining about making deadlines, you’re all excused from pitying me or even trying to cheer me up. In fact, I give you all permission to point and laugh at me. I mean... I’m actually doing research... I’m furthering my reading on the nature of unlikely homosexual relationships between... yeah I’ve got nothing. Laugh away.
Class today was a bit... uh... I don’t want to say pointless, but less learning intensive than usual? I didn’t come out of Islamic Civ with nearly as many notes as usual. Psychology only lasted an hour when normally it’s at least two. It’s the last week of classes. I guess everyone’s just worn out. Not that I’m any different. I’m pretty over school at this point. I spent several hours yesterday in my chair, reading, FOR PLEASURE! Unheard of during school! Only an hour and a half left of class. And apparently that will be cut short as well.
In order to celebrate, because being mostly conscious at this point in the year merits celebration, Jenny and I decided to go out for ice cream! Because we’re that cool. By the time we got there, Jenny had pretty much convinced me that an Orange Julius (I had fun imagining the plural of Julius) would be better. I must admit, the Julius did taste much better than the ice cream I’d planned on buying. We then chit chatted on the way home.
Tomorrow I have to order yet another criminal reference check, pay some fees, maybe pop in to visit my unnamed prof. I’m not looking forward to paying for yet another criminal reference check. I AM NOT A CROOK! It’s getting ridiculous. Though I must admit, it is comforting to know that not just anyone can walk into a school and be around children. Other than that, I really should start writing one of those damn papers. I know that once I start it will be nothing to finish them... why must I procrastinate? For instance, I’m currently watching Behind Enemy Lines with my dad. Veronica got it for me for Christmas. That girl is slowly but significantly increasing my movie collection. Not that I mind in the least. Although it does make me leery about buying her movies...
Maybe tomorrow there’ll be an episode of Grey’s I can complain about.
Lauren.
Class today was a bit... uh... I don’t want to say pointless, but less learning intensive than usual? I didn’t come out of Islamic Civ with nearly as many notes as usual. Psychology only lasted an hour when normally it’s at least two. It’s the last week of classes. I guess everyone’s just worn out. Not that I’m any different. I’m pretty over school at this point. I spent several hours yesterday in my chair, reading, FOR PLEASURE! Unheard of during school! Only an hour and a half left of class. And apparently that will be cut short as well.
In order to celebrate, because being mostly conscious at this point in the year merits celebration, Jenny and I decided to go out for ice cream! Because we’re that cool. By the time we got there, Jenny had pretty much convinced me that an Orange Julius (I had fun imagining the plural of Julius) would be better. I must admit, the Julius did taste much better than the ice cream I’d planned on buying. We then chit chatted on the way home.
Tomorrow I have to order yet another criminal reference check, pay some fees, maybe pop in to visit my unnamed prof. I’m not looking forward to paying for yet another criminal reference check. I AM NOT A CROOK! It’s getting ridiculous. Though I must admit, it is comforting to know that not just anyone can walk into a school and be around children. Other than that, I really should start writing one of those damn papers. I know that once I start it will be nothing to finish them... why must I procrastinate? For instance, I’m currently watching Behind Enemy Lines with my dad. Veronica got it for me for Christmas. That girl is slowly but significantly increasing my movie collection. Not that I mind in the least. Although it does make me leery about buying her movies...
Maybe tomorrow there’ll be an episode of Grey’s I can complain about.
Lauren.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Music Makes Me Happy
Why isn’t Glee on? It makes me happy! TV people, are you trying to upset me? Really! You finally give in to my demands for Blaine/Kurt togetherness but stop airing episodes? How could you think this would be pleasing to me? Think about it and get back to me!
Instead of talking about my Glee withdrawals, which served to torture SARAH earlier today, I’m going to talk about other musical stuff! HA! I am not a Miley Cyrus fan. I find her kind of nasal and mildly irritating. Kind of the same way I find Justin Bieber annoying. However, I do like one of her songs: Party in the USA. I don’t like it for its merits as a song. I like it because it makes me laugh.
It was playing on the radio today when my mom was driving me to school. Naturally, I had to do what Miley said. Like when you do The Locomotion. I threw my hands up, I danced along, I sang. My mom was a little embarrassed. That’s the minor reason I find it amusing.
The main reason I find it amusing is because of my friend Mel. I’ve mentioned this before but I know how to upload the video on Blogger now! This is what I think about every times I hear Party in the USA. And I laugh.
In case you’re curious about why Mel did this, her sister had to have a hysterectomy. She was trying to make her feel better.
It’s the same deal with Hollaback Girl. I don’t really like the song, but every time I hear it, I think of Sigmund Freud’s face over Gwen Stefani’s. Now that is sexy... so sexy.
All of this to say, music makes me happy, it makes me smile, it brings back memories, it makes me laugh. Glee now fits into this. So, there should be a new episode of Glee next week. This is my petition. I lied about not talking about Glee. I’m sneaky that way.
Lauren.
Instead of talking about my Glee withdrawals, which served to torture SARAH earlier today, I’m going to talk about other musical stuff! HA! I am not a Miley Cyrus fan. I find her kind of nasal and mildly irritating. Kind of the same way I find Justin Bieber annoying. However, I do like one of her songs: Party in the USA. I don’t like it for its merits as a song. I like it because it makes me laugh.
It was playing on the radio today when my mom was driving me to school. Naturally, I had to do what Miley said. Like when you do The Locomotion. I threw my hands up, I danced along, I sang. My mom was a little embarrassed. That’s the minor reason I find it amusing.
The main reason I find it amusing is because of my friend Mel. I’ve mentioned this before but I know how to upload the video on Blogger now! This is what I think about every times I hear Party in the USA. And I laugh.
In case you’re curious about why Mel did this, her sister had to have a hysterectomy. She was trying to make her feel better.
It’s the same deal with Hollaback Girl. I don’t really like the song, but every time I hear it, I think of Sigmund Freud’s face over Gwen Stefani’s. Now that is sexy... so sexy.
All of this to say, music makes me happy, it makes me smile, it brings back memories, it makes me laugh. Glee now fits into this. So, there should be a new episode of Glee next week. This is my petition. I lied about not talking about Glee. I’m sneaky that way.
Lauren.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Amy Farrah Fowler for PM
I don’t think my life could get any more boring than it is now. Working on essays. That is what I’m doing. I’m still reading research and these suckers are due in a week. One is about ten pages, the other is twenty. Think I have to get my ass in gear writing? Yesh I do.
I finished writing the essay plans. It’s disgustingly interesting. While working on it, I discovered that accusing a literary character of lesbianism in an academic way is quite difficult. I’m still working on it...
As of right now, I’m watching Castle. Because I can only be so productive. Whatever, it’s only an hour. Unfortunately there are commercials. Even more unfortunately, an election is gearing up here in Canada which means irritating campaign commercials. The latest one was for Stephen Harper (gross). It was amusing. Apparently Stephen Harper is “tough on human trafficking”. Is that supposed to imply that the other candidates aren’t tough on human trafficking? Do they approve of it? Or profit from it? I know Ignatieff is a Liberal but that is really too much. I must vote for Harper now. Even though he is a Conservative and an all around goober. Such a bunch of crap. To be honest, all the candidates are goobers, Harper being the Uber-Goober. Once again, if it comes to an election, I will be voting for the lesser of all the evils. Aka not Harper, regardless of his stance on human trafficking.
You know what? I’m going to vote for Amy Farrah Fowler. She’s smart, to the point, has an apparent inability to lie and is funny in that awkward/backward-meaning kind of way. That and she has more personality than our current politicians.
And she says stuff like:
Amy: Please don’t touch my breasts!
Penny: I—I wasn’t going to!
Amy: Alright, I just wanted to establish boundaries.
See, establishing boundaries. That’s important. Even among friends. She's all over it!
Canadians! Stand behind me and let’s all vote for a fictional character!
Lauren.
I finished writing the essay plans. It’s disgustingly interesting. While working on it, I discovered that accusing a literary character of lesbianism in an academic way is quite difficult. I’m still working on it...
As of right now, I’m watching Castle. Because I can only be so productive. Whatever, it’s only an hour. Unfortunately there are commercials. Even more unfortunately, an election is gearing up here in Canada which means irritating campaign commercials. The latest one was for Stephen Harper (gross). It was amusing. Apparently Stephen Harper is “tough on human trafficking”. Is that supposed to imply that the other candidates aren’t tough on human trafficking? Do they approve of it? Or profit from it? I know Ignatieff is a Liberal but that is really too much. I must vote for Harper now. Even though he is a Conservative and an all around goober. Such a bunch of crap. To be honest, all the candidates are goobers, Harper being the Uber-Goober. Once again, if it comes to an election, I will be voting for the lesser of all the evils. Aka not Harper, regardless of his stance on human trafficking.
You know what? I’m going to vote for Amy Farrah Fowler. She’s smart, to the point, has an apparent inability to lie and is funny in that awkward/backward-meaning kind of way. That and she has more personality than our current politicians.
And she says stuff like:
Amy: Please don’t touch my breasts!
Penny: I—I wasn’t going to!
Amy: Alright, I just wanted to establish boundaries.
See, establishing boundaries. That’s important. Even among friends. She's all over it!
Canadians! Stand behind me and let’s all vote for a fictional character!
Lauren.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Toothbrush vs Pigeon War
I have a horrible short term memory. My horrible habit of misplacing things is the result. I’m the girl who puts her keys in her pocket and forgets where she put them. I’ve spent ten, fifteen minutes looking for things that have been in my pockets, in my hand, in my bag, in plain sight. It’s absolutely ridiculous. And sometimes, things show up in the strangest places and I can’t for the life of me figure out how they got there. Once, I lost my library card. You’ll never guess where it was. Between my bed and my box spring. How could it possibly wind up there? It’s not like my library card is porn and I was trying to hide it.
For the last week I’ve been looking for my spare toothbrush and floss. My current toothbrush is pretty much destroyed and I need the replacement. Do you think I can find the damn thing? No. I’ve looked everywhere. Where does a toothbrush hide? It’s at times like these that I wish I could think like a toothbrush. I know it’s in my room somewhere... I think. I’m pretty sure that’s where I left it. I wouldn’t have left it in the bathroom... someone would have taken it. It’s just bugging me now. (In the process of writing this I actually found my toothbrush... it was under my desk next to my no longer used work shoes. WTF? I’m going to choose to believe it fell off my desk. Unless Rochester really needed a toothbrush in which case, that little leprechaun is gonna git it.
I also have news regarding the ongoing Pigeon War. For those of you who don’t know, the Pigeon War has lasted three years now. Two particularly persistent pigeons (how do you like that alliteration) have made their home just outside my sister’s window. They’re apparently really noisy. My poor sister keeps trying to get our dad to put up an owl or something to keep them away, but he refuses to pay for one. He bought something shiny at one point but we found it on the sidewalk after the first big storm. Operation Shiny Circle Thing was a complete failure. My sister was not impressed. Since then my parents have been responsible for the murder of the pigeon chicks (we were having some roof work done and discovered the nest. It had to be moved. We suspect the chicks died). This weekend, the pigeons, codenamed “devil birds” seem to have returned for the summer. I think I`ll call it Operation Retaliation. Before going to work this weekend, my sister left the following message:
The devil birds are back to having sex on my roof. Kindly dispose of them please. Their cooing is making me into an insomniac couch-sleeper!!!
My mom heard them cooing before she found the note. It was actually their cooing that led her to look for the note. I don`t know if my sister is more disturbed at the cooing, or the fact that the pigeons are rubbing their presence in her face by having sex outside her window. Her latest letter prompted my dad to buy spiky things that he nailed into the roof. I wonder if that will cause the leaks the psychic predicted... Maybe I`ll bring that up in the morning.
Lauren.
For the last week I’ve been looking for my spare toothbrush and floss. My current toothbrush is pretty much destroyed and I need the replacement. Do you think I can find the damn thing? No. I’ve looked everywhere. Where does a toothbrush hide? It’s at times like these that I wish I could think like a toothbrush. I know it’s in my room somewhere... I think. I’m pretty sure that’s where I left it. I wouldn’t have left it in the bathroom... someone would have taken it. It’s just bugging me now. (In the process of writing this I actually found my toothbrush... it was under my desk next to my no longer used work shoes. WTF? I’m going to choose to believe it fell off my desk. Unless Rochester really needed a toothbrush in which case, that little leprechaun is gonna git it.
I also have news regarding the ongoing Pigeon War. For those of you who don’t know, the Pigeon War has lasted three years now. Two particularly persistent pigeons (how do you like that alliteration) have made their home just outside my sister’s window. They’re apparently really noisy. My poor sister keeps trying to get our dad to put up an owl or something to keep them away, but he refuses to pay for one. He bought something shiny at one point but we found it on the sidewalk after the first big storm. Operation Shiny Circle Thing was a complete failure. My sister was not impressed. Since then my parents have been responsible for the murder of the pigeon chicks (we were having some roof work done and discovered the nest. It had to be moved. We suspect the chicks died). This weekend, the pigeons, codenamed “devil birds” seem to have returned for the summer. I think I`ll call it Operation Retaliation. Before going to work this weekend, my sister left the following message:
The devil birds are back to having sex on my roof. Kindly dispose of them please. Their cooing is making me into an insomniac couch-sleeper!!!
My mom heard them cooing before she found the note. It was actually their cooing that led her to look for the note. I don`t know if my sister is more disturbed at the cooing, or the fact that the pigeons are rubbing their presence in her face by having sex outside her window. Her latest letter prompted my dad to buy spiky things that he nailed into the roof. I wonder if that will cause the leaks the psychic predicted... Maybe I`ll bring that up in the morning.
Lauren.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
More Movie Reviews
I spent today reading journals from 1904-1911. I found a few articles pertaining to my Victoria’s Britain thesis. What’s weird is that all articles I found were in Tuesday and Saturday papers. All seven of them. And all seven are either on the religion, crime or finance page. So eugenics are what Victorian Englishmen/women liked to read about on Tuesdays and Saturdays after finding out about criminals, how much money they lost or gained and how faith was doing in Britain. I’m not sure if that means anything or if it’s just a weird coincidence. Now if only I could gain access to The Lancet. All would be right in my world. I forgot to mention this the other day but: DAMN YOU LANCET!
My movie watching also continued. But first, I should probably finish my review of The Next Three Days. Eventually, everything comes together, he executes his rescue mission, they’re about to get away when yet another thing goes wrong. More drama ensues and they still manage to escape. We also find out that the wife is in fact innocent, how fortunate. By the end you just don’t care anymore. Then again, how could she be guilty? That would be setting a horrible example wouldn’t it? That the guilty can win in the end while the innocent are made to suffer? Either way, I wouldn’t sit for another... however long I sat, watching it again. Bad night for movies.
Tonight I caught the end of PS: I Love You. My mom was in tears by the time I came down and remained that way until the movie ended. She was quite annoyed with me when I reminded her that it was a romantic comedy.
After a quick junk food run (hello Haagen Dazs!) by which time my mom had stopped crying, we decided to watch Sabrina, the version with Julia Ormond and Harrison Ford. I’ll eventually watch the Audrey Hepburn version. Again, it’s not one of Harrison Ford’s best. He tries but he is not made for romantic comedies. He should stick to action and suspense. The one thing that mystifies me about this movie is that Sabrina stalks David (played by Greg Kinnear). She knows everything about this guy. Somehow, knowing that he’s a childish, selfish, lazy womanizer who doesn’t even acknowledge her existence until she gets “pretty”, she still finds him attractive. Plus, he’s stupid enough to sit down with champagne flutes in his back pockets. Because those are qualities I look for! Selfishness AND laziness! Now that is a rarely found sexy-combo! With womanizing on top? Sign me up.
I promise, the next movie review I write will be positive. Possibly. If I pick a movie I know I’ll like. Tangled is the one I want to see next. I really have to find something else to do with my time.
Lauren.
My movie watching also continued. But first, I should probably finish my review of The Next Three Days. Eventually, everything comes together, he executes his rescue mission, they’re about to get away when yet another thing goes wrong. More drama ensues and they still manage to escape. We also find out that the wife is in fact innocent, how fortunate. By the end you just don’t care anymore. Then again, how could she be guilty? That would be setting a horrible example wouldn’t it? That the guilty can win in the end while the innocent are made to suffer? Either way, I wouldn’t sit for another... however long I sat, watching it again. Bad night for movies.
Tonight I caught the end of PS: I Love You. My mom was in tears by the time I came down and remained that way until the movie ended. She was quite annoyed with me when I reminded her that it was a romantic comedy.
After a quick junk food run (hello Haagen Dazs!) by which time my mom had stopped crying, we decided to watch Sabrina, the version with Julia Ormond and Harrison Ford. I’ll eventually watch the Audrey Hepburn version. Again, it’s not one of Harrison Ford’s best. He tries but he is not made for romantic comedies. He should stick to action and suspense. The one thing that mystifies me about this movie is that Sabrina stalks David (played by Greg Kinnear). She knows everything about this guy. Somehow, knowing that he’s a childish, selfish, lazy womanizer who doesn’t even acknowledge her existence until she gets “pretty”, she still finds him attractive. Plus, he’s stupid enough to sit down with champagne flutes in his back pockets. Because those are qualities I look for! Selfishness AND laziness! Now that is a rarely found sexy-combo! With womanizing on top? Sign me up.
I promise, the next movie review I write will be positive. Possibly. If I pick a movie I know I’ll like. Tangled is the one I want to see next. I really have to find something else to do with my time.
Lauren.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Movie Reviews and News
A post for today... I don’t have all that much to say to be honest. I got some really good news. Unless of course it’s an April Fool’s Day joke. Which would be really mean.
Provided it’s not an April Fool’s day joke, I’ve been accepted to teacher’s college. YAY! The plan is still working!
Other than that, I don’t seem to be alone in my opinion about Grey’s Anatomy. Pretty much everyone I talked to agree that they’d accidentally tuned in to the medical version of Glee. Kind of glad I wasn’t imagining how annoying it was.
And yes I have a new movie to critique. I just finished watching Morning Glory with Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford and Diane Keaton. It looks way funnier than it is. It’s very slow, the funny moments are few and far between and there is not enough romantic comedy to sustain it otherwise. I wouldn’t watch it again. Even the big happy ending isn’t all that satisfying. By the time it happens, it has to happen otherwise you’d be throwing things at your TV out of frustration.
We popped in another movie in the hopes that it would wash away the foul taste of failure but I don’t think it’s going to go away. The Next Three Days... that’s about how long it feels like I’ve been sitting here. Three days watching Russell Crowe commit various felonies all in the hopes of busting his wife who may or may not be guilty, out of prison. I don’t even know how much time is left to this sucker. I’m getting annoyed. I’ll complete this review tomorrow. I’m not holding out high hopes.
Oddly enough, my laugh of the day came in my English seminar. If you’re interested, I’ve posted the link. There’s nothing like a Bronte joke right? Okay, so maybe not but it’s still funny. Gotta love to hate that Byronic hero.
http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=202
Lauren.
Provided it’s not an April Fool’s day joke, I’ve been accepted to teacher’s college. YAY! The plan is still working!
Other than that, I don’t seem to be alone in my opinion about Grey’s Anatomy. Pretty much everyone I talked to agree that they’d accidentally tuned in to the medical version of Glee. Kind of glad I wasn’t imagining how annoying it was.
And yes I have a new movie to critique. I just finished watching Morning Glory with Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford and Diane Keaton. It looks way funnier than it is. It’s very slow, the funny moments are few and far between and there is not enough romantic comedy to sustain it otherwise. I wouldn’t watch it again. Even the big happy ending isn’t all that satisfying. By the time it happens, it has to happen otherwise you’d be throwing things at your TV out of frustration.
We popped in another movie in the hopes that it would wash away the foul taste of failure but I don’t think it’s going to go away. The Next Three Days... that’s about how long it feels like I’ve been sitting here. Three days watching Russell Crowe commit various felonies all in the hopes of busting his wife who may or may not be guilty, out of prison. I don’t even know how much time is left to this sucker. I’m getting annoyed. I’ll complete this review tomorrow. I’m not holding out high hopes.
Oddly enough, my laugh of the day came in my English seminar. If you’re interested, I’ve posted the link. There’s nothing like a Bronte joke right? Okay, so maybe not but it’s still funny. Gotta love to hate that Byronic hero.
http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=202
Lauren.
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