Cravings

I’m having really weird food cravings right now. For some reason noodles with stir fried broccoli would just be amazing. It’s ten o’clock at night. I can’t reasonably make that right? And then there’s the even weirder craving I have for tempura vegetables. God that would be good. OH! And that Smartfood cheese popcorn! Omonom! Not all together though... I have a feeling that would be gross. At least part of my brain is still working. Hmmm... I can have the noodles for lunch and perhaps convince someone to go out for sushi with me where I shall also eat tempura vegetables. Don’t know about the popcorn. I’ll see if I can work that in there somewhere.

There, I fit it between paragraphs.

So, as you can probably guess, I’m hungry. Well, not really. Old habits die hard. I’m trying not to eat simply because I’m bored. It’s not fair that gaining weight is so much more fun than losing it. Although, I do have to say that apart from the odd craving (odd in all senses of the word) the whole diet and exercise thing isn’t so bad. Not seeing many changes yet, but I am sleeping better and I’ll keep working on it for that reason alone. I’ve never really been a very good sleeper so anything not drug related that will help is well worth it. On top of which, I realize that it took me years to get to where I am weight wise. It’s not logical to expect change overnight.

Also in the category of doing things for myself, I’ve decided that I’m going to be temporarily putting aside my more... how shall I put this... political activities. After a few years working with various groups I find myself more frustrated than fulfilled. I’m on the hunt for a new activity. Because for me, it’s important to have something that will bring me into contact with people, otherwise, I play the hermit. I also like having something that’s outside my school work, job or regular activities so I can look forward to something. I have something in mind but I’m not quite decided yet. If I actually go through with it I’ll let you know. I’m actually surprised that it peaked my interest at all. One of the many benefits is that it will require me to get over that pesky shy streak that’s been my nemesis since birth. I’m interested to see if after twenty two years I’ll be able to squash it. It’s overdue for some squashing. We’ll see how it goes.

That’s about all I have to report today.

Lauren.

Education in Irony

Second day of Orientation. It was much easier to deal with than the first day but still kind of... mind numbing. I think I’m going to find Teacher’s College a wonderful exercise in irony.

Yesterday I sat through a presentation by one of the department heads regarding professionalism. She talked to us for a good half hour about showing up early, being organized, contacting our host teacher, being polite and courteous.

Here’s the fun part. We have to do a placement beginning September 6^th. It’s just an observation deal lasting a few days. I’ve been assigned to a school board, but I haven’t yet been assigned to a school or teacher. I can be placed anywhere within that board which could mean up to an hour and a half of travel by car.

Because it will require at least some planning in terms of transportation and scheduling, I’m pretty anxious to find out where the hell I’m supposed to go. I stopped by the education office and asked about my lack of placement. Apparently I’m one of a hundred students who don’t yet have a placement. The woman I was speaking to told me that it wouldn’t be odd if the Practice Teaching Office called me on the morning of September 6^th to tell me where my placement is. I just looked at her and snorted. I asked her how I could possibly be expected to make arrangements with no notice. I asked her how I could be expected to organize transportation, particularly if I had to travel to the limits of the board’s reach. I don’t always have access to a car. She told me: You’ll just have to work that out. Kind of funny considering the principles they were attempting to drill into our heads the day before.

Other than that, after being trapped in the same room with the same people for an entire day, I was able to observe the beginnings of cliques. Cliques are interesting to me. Mainly because they seem to form of their own will and have some strange innate knowledge of where they stand in relation to other cliques. I noticed four cliques: the pretty people, the quiet people, the know-it-alls and the optimistic people. I’m working on figuring out the others.

And by the way! Smart boards are really nifty contraptions. It’s like a giant screen/touchpad. The interactive possibilities are fantastic. Those things should be made available in all classrooms. The teacher we had made a presentation and dropped in a pair of dice for illustrative purposes. He then asked one of the guys in front to get up and tap the dice.  When he tapped them, they rolled. The image of the dice was a random number generator activated by touch. How cool is that?! And I don’t even like math!

Overall, it was a boring day but infinitely better than yesterday and I did find quite a bit to entertain myself with. It’s always about finding the little things isn’t it?

Lauren.

Daaaaaaaay 1

Well, the first day of school sucked. Like, ultimate sucked. I barely slept last night and had to be at school for 8:30. The day ended at 3:45ish. I don’t know why because there is no reason what we did couldn’t be accomplished in two hours. People have been telling me that teacher’s college will require a lot of time. Is that because they’re so content wasting it?

Today’s experience was very much like being back in high school. Time was allotted to pay our tuition (which I already did because I don’t like line ups), time was allotted to pick up our student IDs and external hard drives (which took all of two minutes), we played “getting to know you” Bingo and to be honest, I don’t remember half the people I met. After that we did a little art/math project. Oh, I forgot, they also ran through the details of professionalism. If we were first year students, fine I understand all the direction but we’re all at least 22 and we’ve all finished at least one degree. Please, hold my hand at this juncture in time. On top of which, do we really need to be told to dress appropriately, to be punctual, to respect people’s privacy? Apparently, yes we do because if we weren’t all informed, the one idiot in the group would head out to their placement wearing a bathing suit. Can't we isolate the idiots of the world? Scientists of the world! Get on it!

All around, the day was shitty. I was bored out of my mind, headachy, tired and getting really annoyed of the guy who followed me around all day talking incessantly. I’m not exaggerating. I pretended to be asleep and he was still talking to me. My cousin, who is in my class, was sitting three tables over from me and this dude was shouting up to him. Personally I think my cousin noticed my dilemma but didn’t try to help me for fear of becoming this guy’s new target. Though I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to blame him. I suffered in silence. Well... not really. I suffered to the non-stop soundtrack of some guy’s ramblings.

The few highlights of my day were:

Running into a professor I’d been trying to track down. I escaped my group for like, twenty minutes and revelled in the silence.

Diane (the cafeteria lady who makes subs) made my sub today. She makes the best subs, it may sound silly but it’s true. And she remembers my order.

My dad was quick to pick me up.

Dana came over and we watched Disney movies (Beauty and the Beast and Mulan)

So yeah... very little went well today. Maybe tomorrow will be different? I doubt it. Fingers crossed.

Lauren.

The Other Boleyn Girl: A Family Movie

So, here’s fun story. As it turns out, The Other Boleyn Girl is a family movie. It’s about family (a really messed up family) and when watched with family it creates much discussion.

In short, it’s the story of Mary Boleyn and Anne Boleyn. Mary becomes King Henry VIII’s mistress while he’s still married to Catherine of Aragon. Later, Anne finds a way to direct Henry’s attention toward herself, getting him to divorce Catherine, dump her sister and marry her. When Anne’s pregnancy goes awry, there’s a really creepy instance of alleged incest. Blah, blah, blah... the shit hits the fan and Anne loses her head. Literally.

In the instance of the famed beheadings:

Sister: Well, it’s kind of sad what happens to her brother.

Mom: They committed the crime. They got what they deserved.

Dad: Eww! I thought you said they didn’t do anything.

Mom: They were planning on doing it. They tried doing it.

Sister: But they didn’t... the brother’s wife was just spying on them...

Dad: The wife was watching? What were you watching?

Lauren: The Other Boleyn girl.

This is what I gathered from this conversation.

About my mom: Thinking about committing an action is enough to merit conviction and beheading. Which probably explains why I got away with so little as a child. I have a very readable face... Thankfully I never committed any crimes that merited beheading. As far as I know, my head is still attached to my neck.

About my sister: Actions actually have to be committed to merit a guilty verdict and subsequent punishment. Which is probably why she gets away with so much. Damn her acting abilities.

About my dad: A pad of paper and detailed illustrations of plotlines may be required before entering into discussions about movies.

All of this is relevant because my mom also bought season one of the Good Wife today. We’re watching the first disc now and they’re dealing with a case of potential jury tampering. I hope my mom never has to serve on a jury. Can you imagine?

Lauren.

I Can't Think Straight Review

Okay, kind of slow on this one. I finished another book a few days ago. I read “I Can’t Think Straight” by Shamim Sarif. Finally bought the book. I’ve had the DVD for quite a while and thought it was time I read the story. I bought it online... I like getting mail okay?

I think it’s more of a novella than a novel... and if it’s not a novella, it’s probably borderline. Not that that really matters. It’s a pretty short, fast paced read. I found some typos that made me have to look twice and if I remember correctly, there were one or two instances of awkward sentence structure.

  

Other than that, it was very similar to the movie. Much of the dialogue could have been taken from the script. Or vice versa. Still, there were a few significant differences between the book and the movie that I rather liked. The book has far more background information on the characters. Questions I asked during the movie were answered in the book. Characters I hated in the movie, I understood better and didn’t mind so much in the book. The one couple just seemed to be incredibly shallow, miserable people in the movie. In the book they’re just kind of lost and frustrated which makes it easier for me to sympathise with them. The characters were much more realistic in the way they thought and reacted as well. The ex-fiancé for instance gets angry and upset when the main character leaves him. In the movie there’s only one quick shot of him reacting and obviously he’s shocked but after that, he isn’t heard from again. I thought it was strange and cold when watching the movie. In terms of the main characters, there was a lot of description and detail regarding what it’s like to realize your sexuality as well as the process of accepting it. I recognized myself in many of those passages. It would be a good book for anyone questioning their sexuality or getting used to the idea of coming out. Actually, the amount of detail is kind of surprising considering how short a work it actually is.

Novel versus movie? They were very, very similar but the novel does (as usual) have more detail and background.

Ron Stoppable appears out of nowhere, out of breath and grasping a single piece of paper: LD! LD! Salem told me to give you this!

Lauren taking paper: What did I tell you about calling me LD?

Ron: To stop?

Lauren: Try to remember that in the future Ron. Please. What is this anyway?

Ron: It’s the latest numbers for your world domination thingy.

Voldemort snaps, cloak swirling around him: Assistant! Where is my low-fat latte?

Lauren: Low fat latte? The hell?

Voldemort: I don’t like the taste of office coffee. SO? WHERE IS IT?

Ron: Right here LV!

Lauren muttering to Voldemort: He does that for you too?

Voldemort rolling his eyes: At least I got him to stop calling me TR.

Lauren: OH! Like the guy who played George on Grey’s! I mostly liked him. Kind of awful how they killed him off...

Voldemort grabs his coffee, scoffs at Lauren and stalks off, cloak swishing about.

Salem: Oh good, you did get my message. I just wanted to check... in case.”

Lauren glancing at Ron who is now concentrating on stacking paper cups at the break station: Yeah... I understand. Reads paper. HOLY CRAP! I’ve been viewed in 101 countries?!

Salem: Yep. As of today. We’re halfway there!

Lauren: Awesome! We should celebrate! Ron!

Ron: Hey SS! How’s it going?

Lauren: You definitely can’t call him that. As of now you can only refer to people by their first name. I’d also like you to tell everyone that we’re going out after work.

Ron scampers off: Sure thing L—Lauren?

Lauren: This calls for an evil laugh. Mwahahahahaha!

Yup! 101 countries! Mine! All mine! Mwahahahaha!

Lauren.

Failure Face

Today’s activities include: failure.

I got up early, really early, to drive my mom to work. I needed the car to get up to the university. I was meeting with a prof at noon. About ten minutes after I got home, the prof emailed me and said that she wouldn’t be able to make our meeting. Bummer, but life happens.

I went up to the university anyway. I start school on Monday (how awful is that!?). It’s an orientation day with time scheduled to pay our tuition. I don’t like standing in line with a bunch of people I don’t know. So I paid today. Kind of fun carrying that much money around in my wallet. Felt rich for all of five seconds. I was briefly tempted to pay in pennies. How fun would that be? My mother assures me that it’s not possible but I’m sure it is... I’d only need... 700 000 pennies. Then again, I’d have to hire out a forklift to get them all to the finance office. Forget it! They aren’t getting another nickel out of me!

Given that I was already at school, I thought I’d head up to the history department and see if any of the profs helping me out with my masters were there. They weren’t. I walked around the floor and decided that I’d best get home. The good part of the whole adventure is that I ran into Jenny. She was working and I was distracting her. We had a rather lovely chat.

By then I had about an hour and half to burn before I had to go pick up my mom. I didn’t really want to get into anything at home so I abruptly changed lanes (while singing obnoxiously loud to the Glee Showstoppers CD) intent on visiting my grandma. It’s not that far out of the way and I haven’t seen her in a bit. Yeah... she wasn’t home. I gave up at that point. I just went home.

After picking up my mom, I failed at hitting two cyclists who stupidly thought they were cars. They weren’t cars. They were people on bicycles and not the motorized kind either. It’s probably a good thing that I failed at that...

Alas, I am tired. Hopefully I succeed at sleeping. That would be nice.

Lauren.

Condemn Love, Endorse Violence?

The other day my sister got a strange craving for chips. For some reason, she wanted to make them herself. I’m still not going to bore you with the details. In any case, since I had to do the peeling and cutting (she’s allergic to raw potato) I decided to watch a movie while working. I chose DEBS. It’s a goofy, ditzy Charlie’s Angels romantic comedy with a twist. One of my faves.

Anyway, my sister walked into the kitchen and giggled when she saw what I was watching. I think she just watched a documentary about the MPAA because she asked me what DEBS was rated. I honestly had no clue. I grabbed the case and checked the back. Turns out it was rated PG13 for sexuality and language.  I thought that was odd.

The DEBS are spies. They carry ridiculously large weapons, shoot at people, occasionally blow things up, hold people at gun point, get into fist fights and several shootouts, not to mention the scene where they’re trapped in bank vault and a large spiky ceiling descends upon them, only just stopping in the nick of time. But apparently there was no need to warn parents about the violence in this movie because no one actually gets shot and you never see blood. You just see the cool guns firing and the nifty fireballs of the explosions.

Language wise I don’t think they said anything worse than ‘son of a bitch’ and ‘shit’. I may be wrong, but I don’t think I am. As for the sexuality part, I think the main characters kiss twice and there’s a grand total of one sex scene. If one can call it a sex scene. There’s some fully clothed kissing, a snapped bra (which I imagine would be an awkward thing to have happen at such a moment) and then some more presumably naked kissing but you can’t tell because the characters are wrapped up in two completely different sheets, one pink, the other yellow. I’ve seen more explicit things in daytime soap operas.

Given this information, the rating seems kind of weird right? I can’t be the only one that finds this weird. Oh, right, I forgot a key detail. These are the main characters: (CUE DRAMATIC THUNDER AND LIGHTENING)

Lucy Diamond, played by Jordanna Brewster and Amy Bradshaw, played by Sara Foster. Hang on a minute! They’re girls!

I find it very strange to rate violence less severely than sexuality. Condemn love but endorse violence? Wouldn’t it just be easier for parents to explain to their children that love is love and that it comes in many shapes and can be expressed in many forms?

The world is a strange place.

Lauren.

Writing and Eating

Is there such a thing as writing too much?

I’ve been confused about what to put in my portfolio for my grad application. Today, I finally gave in and asked my unnamed professor’s opinion. She emailed me back saying that variety was good and that I should submit pieces I was confident about. She also suggested that I send along a couple of blog posts. Given that I’ll likely have a few pages left to fill in, I started sorting through my blog posts.

I’m coming up on the end of year two of blogging every day. I have about 700 posts. I didn’t realize how much that is until I started looking for specific posts. Remember that day, when I did that thing at the place with that chick from some class and we all got a good laugh about it? Yeah, me either. Which explains why I’ve been cruising through my files for the last couple of hours. Why do I write so much? I think I have a problem.

So, it looks like my portfolio will include:

Part of my novella

A short story

Three Seuss parodies

Blog posts in case I’m under the minimum required pages (unlikely)

I guess I’ll pull that all together tomorrow.

In other interesting news, wanting to lose weight has me doing strange things. I was making a strawberry smoothie at ten o’clock at night. I won’t have any excuses if he’s angry with me tomorrow. He hates washing the blender, he hates strawberries and he probably hated waking up to the sound of a blender motor straining to chop up frozen fruit he can barely stand to look at. Also, we went out for supper tonight because there’s no food left in the house. I normally get the chicken fingers and fries at this place because they’re really good. My mom usually gets some kind of wrap or sandwich, my dad usually gets a club sandwich. Tonight, I ordered a club wrap and my mom ordered the chicken fingers and fries. And last night, when I was craving junk food, I actually suggested walking to the grocery store (about a fifteen minute walk) to pick up popcorn. This changing habits business is strange work.

Totally unrelated but I discovered today that ankle socks are not as irritating as I originally thought. Go figure.

Lauren.

Thoughts on the Word 'Homophobia'

Boring day. Made my own chips. Won’t bore you with details.

I’ve been wondering about writing a post about the expressions I developed this summer... now that my summer is coming to a close. Dang blast it! But I was never able to think of anything to say about them...

Dana and I came up with: Save a panda, kill a seagull. What’s there to say about that? I suppose an explanation is in order... but other than that what am I going to say? Dana’s afraid of seagulls. She was once surrounded by a particularly menacing flock. She apparently prefers pandas.

Recently I came up with: I pedalled without going anywhere. Meaning I got my ass off my couch and instead sat it on my exercise bike.

Outside of those few words, I had nothing. But then I started considering other words or sayings that are strange and then I remembered another post I’ve been wanting to write. Anyone else think the word ‘homophobia’ is weird?

Think about it. Homo is a prefix meaning ‘same’ while the suffix ‘phobia’ obviously means ‘fear’. You can have a homosexual relationships meaning that your sexual partner is of your gender. You can also have arachnophobia meaning you fear spiders. So here’s my deal. Homophobia. You fear things that are the same? In a literal sense, I don’t get it.

In social terms, is the ‘phobia’ supposed to mean a fear of same sex couples multiplying? Is it supposed to be a fear of a supposedly deviant sexual behaviour?  Because first off, homophobia says nothing about people or sexual practices. And secondly if people really were afraid of LGBT individuals we’d either be much more powerful or I’m assuming something like the witch hunts of old would have taken place by now. I’m hoping we don’t regress that far.

Thus far, homophobia is a fear of things that are the same, but different, that exists because homosexuals are threatening the ‘normal’ way of being. What can we deduce? The definition of the word ‘homophobia’ cannot be found in its root words but rather in its social context. In other words, homophobia has nothing to do with what it is, and everything to do with how it is perceived.

To me, fears are natural. Everyone is afraid of something. It’s not always something you can control, often it’s instinctual, often it comes from surviving a particular experience. Fear isn’t necessarily destructive. Hatred is learned, it’s born out of ignorance and is always destructive. I refused to believe anyone is born with an instinct to hate or fear and I doubt anyone would walk by a gay person screaming in fear.

Homophobia is a prejudice, not a fear. I would now like everyone to say ‘Misnomer’. If you’re going to hate on me and worry about who I’m attracted to and what I do in my bedroom, be upfront about it and don’t say you’re scared of me. I’m not scary.

These are my thoughts on the word ‘homophobia’. What do you think?

Lauren.

The Boob Light Question

Alright, I had no idea what I was going to blog about today until Dana came to my aid. Yup, in spite of spending the whole day together yesterday, she was still willing to come over and go over my novella. As always we got onto some strange topics of conversation and one of those conversations was the inspiration for my latest question: Boob lights, what the hell?

For those of you who do not know, the following is a boob light.

In case you haven’t figured out why, they are so called (actually called dome fixtures) because they look like boobs. Now, I like boobs as much as the next lesbian... whoever the hell she is... but I’m not loving the boobs when it comes to interior design.

Prior to discovering the existence of such light fixtures, I was oblivious to their existence. I never noticed them. Now, I always notice and it bugs me. It’s the same story with my sister. I brought it up with Dana and now she too is annoyed by and can’t stop seeing boob lights.

I guess my question is... why a lamp? Am I to assume the designer of such lamps thought boobs were shining beacons of hope? Well, that’s a little obsessive and a little sad. OH MY GOD! I just realized something! I also found vaginas in that one painting in my parents room... they’re the ones who seem to keep buying boob lights... should I be afraid?

Do boob lights bother you? If so, is it because you picture boobs or is it because they’re just not that great looking? Personally, I’m more the second than the first but both reasons apply. For those of you who will now be noticing boob lights everywhere, I apologize.

Lauren.

Lord of the Rings Marathon

Yep, late again. And once again, I have an excuse. I’m full of them... among other things. Inspired by our Harry Potter Marathon (which was quite fun) Dana and I wanted to attempt another similar endeavour. This time, we did Lord of the Rings the Extended Edition. Yes, the Extended Edition. We go all out for these things.

We began shortly after noon and just finished... so around 12:20 am. I have to say, Lord of the Rings is way easier to take than Harry Potter movie-wise. Book wise I still haven’t managed to get through LOTR. I got stuck in The Fellowship of the Rings (the first book) when they get to Tom Bombadil. I hate that little weirdo. At least I think he’s weird... I don’t remember. My last stab at Lord of the Rings was eesh... almost a decade ago.

It was entertaining to say the least. We likened the ring to a horcrux because it is one by JK Rowling’s definition. When Frodo goes up against the icky spider we giggled over Hagrid randomly appearing and telling Aragog off. We pitied Sam because he got the crappiest deal of everyone and then I, with my infinite enthusiasm, thought it would be funny if the eagles accidentally clawed him to death at the end while trying to save him. We amused ourselves (okay, mostly me but only because it was that easy) imagining gay relationships in the subtext. Oh homosocial relationships, the fodder you provide me with. At one point Dana decided that she wanted to be the Witch-King dude. She also wanted to be Arwen. I got to be Eowyn which I was fine with because she’s absolutely kick ass in the movie (I somehow doubt she’d be as kick ass in the books). Dana kept giving me the stink eye and telling me to back off her man whenever Eowyn started hitting on Viggo Mortensen. When I assured her I wasn’t really interested, she also laid claim to Faromir. Bigamy isn’t out of the question in Middle Earth is it? Well, at least I killed one of her personalities. Stink eye that!

My poor dad sat through it all with us. I’m embarrassed to say that Dana and I went pee far more than he did and he’s nearly sixty. We drank more than him?

I’m not sure what we’ll marathon next, but Lord of the Rings is in fact very doable. It was just long enough to be a marathon without making me want to give up or die. So if you’re looking for a decent movie marathon, I highly recommend this one.

Lauren.

Adventures with Veronica

Okay! Late again today. But again, I have an excuse. I was hanging out with Veronica. The last time I physically saw her was in... February so I hope you’ll all forgive my tardiness.

After our adventure to the learning library failed (it was closed. Learning indeed!) we went to a used book store downtown. A few years ago, I worked across the street from it for about four months, but I’d never gone inside. I will momentarily digress to say that working in a chip truck sucks. The book store boasts having over a mile of books. Or store space. I don’t remember but there were a lot of books. We started in children’s literature and worked our way back, only pausing to listen (briefly) to the weird music the store chicky was playing. It was organ music and while I can appreciate the organ as an instrument, I was waiting for the Phantom to swoop down and cart me off to his nether world. Fortunately that didn’t happen. In my opinion jealousy is highly unattractive. Speaking of attractiveness, that kind of brings me to my next point.

Picking out Harlequin Romance novels at random is fun. They all have those really great titles and those supposed to be sexy covers. Good times. Anyone ever notice that the titles could be a sentence from the novel itself?

For instance: “The Army Ranger’s Return” was both unexpected and ill-timed because Elsa was having an affair!

Or: “How to Lasso a Cowboy” using only a paperclip, a dew rag and a construction cone.

I don't think my sentences at all sum up what these two books are actually about... Meh. I was also surprised to discover that there is such a genre as Super Romance. Is that the kind that’s so sweet and happy you kind of want to barf or at least gag? I’ll have to look into this. For all my making fun, one storyline did kind of stick with me. It was about a virgin who was pregnant (Veronica and I were momentarily expecting the Second Coming) but then we find out that somehow she was secretly impregnated for an experiment.

Dinner followed. A healthy feast of garlic soaked pasta for me and onion drenched pizza for Veronica. I enjoyed my meal immensely. A really brief shopping trip followed. It was only short because the mall was closing early. On a Saturday. What the hell?

Back at home, we watched The Thin Red Line which was... kind of lacking. We didn’t know any of the character’s names so we either used their real names or names we made up. Jesus (for the dude who played in Passion), Dumb Guy (for the guy who’s always kind of out of it), Twitchy McTwitcherson (self explanatory), Flashback (self explanatory) and so on. To conclude the evening, we continued our James Bond Education with A View to a Kill. It was kind of funny but weirdest of all, at the end, there was a health warning about smoking as many characters in the movie were pictured smoking. I’m tempted to pull out the original VHS and see if it was there originally or if that’s something they added when putting James Bond on DVD.

So many adventures today! Too bad I’ll have to wait until November for the next one.

Lauren.

Real Embarrassment

I had something of an epiphany yesterday. To be honest, it didn’t feel that great. At all.

I don’t really think about my appearance all that much. I like to be neat, but I don’t put in much more effort than that. So here’s where the epiphany comes in. I’ve always been overweight but it’s not something I think a lot about. I like eating, I like all kinds of food, I like baking, I’ve worked with food for years and I never truly embraced active living. My hobbies were always writing, drawing or building stuff. Not really activities that are physical in nature. When we filmed our baking episode yesterday and played it back, I was actually embarrassed by what I was seeing. Which has never happened to me before. I’ve been embarrassed because I’ve said something stupid, I’ve been embarrassed by getting stuck in public washrooms, but I’ve never been embarrassed about the way I look. I didn’t like it and I’m not over it. I’m proud of who I am. Which is why it came as something of a shock that my embarrassment came entirely from me. No one else said anything, did anything. Don’t you love cameras and how they refuse to lie? Dang them all! I'm actually a bit embarrassed to be writing this, but perhaps it needs to be said.

Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time working on my mental health. I think I’ve reached a point where I now need to work on my physical health. There’ve been other hints this summer... I should probably start taking them seriously. Oh this should be fun... I love new missions. No idea how I’m going to proceed, I’m thinking exercise will be involved. How I’m going to stick to it... now there’s a question...

I’m not a tiny girl so I have no illusions of fitting into a size two. My hand is the size of an average person’s face. I have size 11 feet. So I’m keeping it real here in Lauren Land. No need to worry about that. Perspective.

Hopefully I can stick with it and make some healthy changes. Because I suspect it’s time.

Lauren.

Red Velvet Cake

As some people have made me aware, I’m late blogging tonight. By some people I mean Dana. And Dana shouldn’t complain because she knows why I’m late (she just left my house). We decided that we were going to make a red velvet cake. Why we decided we would do that at 9:00 o’clock is a question I am unwilling and unable to answer.

Just about everything is covered in red food colouring. I must say, I was a bit disappointed to discover that red velvet cake is only red because of food colouring. I thought perhaps it was some neat ingredient, but no. Just a crap load of dye. It’s still quite good though. I was surprised by how dense a cake it is. taste wise, I must quote Dana: "You can just taste a hint of cocoa"which also surprised me given how little cocoa is actually in the batter.

This has little to do with the cake, but for once, Dana swore way more than me. And we got it all on camera. Yeah… we filmed the whole escapade. I mostly avoided being on camera which I think is kind of impressive. Dana had no problem blocking me from view. So it worked out well. I’d post the videos but I don’t want to. I’m wearing crappy clothes (which turned out to be a good thing after the dye-splattering fiasco) and I look pregnant. Not the look I typically go for. Perhaps I should start using the exercise bike as more than just a barrier to my closet… I’ll think about it.

I’m afraid that’s about it for today. It’s quite late and I’m quite tired. Though, I will leave you with a thought that has nothing to do with baking. I discovered the real difference between cats and dogs. Cats get used to you and let you into their lives. Dogs require you to get used to them and invade your life. I like dogs, but I definitely prefer cats (insert lesbian joke if you must). Meeko does his thing, sometimes he sits with me, sometimes he doesn’t. We have our own routines and we go about them how we please. Go figure we picked the anal, anti-social cat twelve years ago when we went to the pound. It was meant to be.

Crazy Cat Lady AKA Lauren.

I'm a Cat Person and I Have a Dog

I needed the car today. That also meant that I needed music. Since my MP3 player is being a jerk (not that I had the proper cable anyway), I had to go rooting through my closet to get at my CDs. My CD collection isn’t very impressive but as I was flipping through it, I came across one of my Glee CDs. I have two. I wanted the other one but couldn’t find it, so I settled for the one I did have. Turns out the one I wanted was in my closet exactly where I was looking… go figure. I put on the CD and took off. I managed to pass on a busy highway (safely) AND! I managed to successfully back into a parking space without causing any damage. Thank you Glee. There is no limit to your powers. All of this to say, I’m actually missing Glee… WTF? I don’t typically miss TV shows. IT’S THE GLEE MAGIC! AHHHHHHH!

Anyway, aside from dealing with scary Glee vibes, I am currently playing host to a black lab. As predicted, things are not going all that well between the dog and my cat. Meeko is so anti social… we really do hang out too much. Reb on the other hand lives with half a farm’s worth of animals (three cats, two turtles, a hedgehog and another dog all of which are tended by four humans) so he’s very social. At this point, I think he’s finally gotten the message that Meeko really doesn’t want him around.  During their first encounter Reb had Meeko essentially cornered. He was in a pouncing position while Meeko had his back up and was hissing. I did not enjoy having to physically get between them. Reb was kind of playfully jumping forward… the cat was ready to attack… Lauren in the middle… Why do these things happen when I’m alone?

This experience has allowed me to see that while I like dogs, I am completely a cat person. Reb is a good dog, he’s very friendly, he’s playful, he’s pretty well behaved and I realize this situation is probably pretty stressful for him, but GOD! Dogs are so needy! He keeps following me and looking up at me like “So… what are we gonna do?” or “I’m bored Lauren… let’s do something!” or “Can I play with Meeko?”. I answer the last question with “Go downstairs.” It’s like having a bored five year old who doesn’t have the capacity to express himself. AND HE’S MAKING ME FEEL BAD!

Oh great… he’s flopped over beside me and he’s looking all cute… it’s like he knows I was talking about him. Do dogs read minds?

Ummm why is he licking my pant leg?

Lauren.

I Can Spell!

B is for Blah, I must write another blog.

L is for Lack, as in I’m lacking ideas for today’s blog.

O is for Oh dear, I’m still talking and probably shouldn't be.

G is for God, I really want to watch My Cousin Vinny right now.

And all this poetry to say, I didn’t have a very exciting day.

I worked on my novel. I nearly finished Chapter 11. It was a bit short for my liking so I’m moving some stuff from Chapter 12 to keep a more even length among the chapters. Fascinating. I know. I can tell you're all riveted. One of my characters actually just outsmarted the villain but he doesn’t know about it yet. Villains, don’t you just hate when that happens? Meanwhile, my main character is pinned against a cliff face with five armed mercenaries bearing down on her. Good times right?

Quiet day... really quiet. Can you tell?

Tomorrow will be more interesting. I hope. I may or may not be meeting with some profs. I’m apparently helping my dad bottle wine (I foresee disaster). And after that, we’re going to pick up our friends’ black lab and we're bringing him home. Meeko is not going to be a happy kitty. Should be funny to watch though.

Off to finish up my latest book. Gots to have me a lesbian happy ending.

Lauren.

A Strange Good Day

I must say. Not the best day. Not the worst either though.

So, the not-for-profit organization I was trying to start with my friends fell through. As it turns out, we’re all still too busy with school to give it our full attention. We probably could have managed it but it’s really not something I want to half-ass. I’m not really upset about it... just... a little disappointed that timing wasn’t on our side. The upside to this situation is that we didn’t spend any money so nothing was lost or needs to be returned in that sense. I didn’t really know what I was going to do if I didn’t get accepted to the masters program I’m applying to. If grad school doesn’t pan out I think I’ll give the organization another go. As far as I know, the girls I was trying to start this with will be free next year. Perhaps they’ll still be interested.

Other than that, my day went uphill... slowly. I went to the dentist. I still have lovely teeth. Yes, I know it’s weird, but I actually enjoy going to the dentist. Teeth are one of the first things I notice about people. I like mine to be bright and shiny. Plus, I’ve gone through hell with my teeth. Braces, surgeries, a lot of tooth pulling. I like taking care of my teeth (a service the dentist provides) and I like knowing that my mouth is healthy. If that sounds dirty I didn’t mean it to (though I approve of your dirty mind).

After that, I came home and finished off my novella. Again. Second revision, check. I’m hoping that I can find someone willing to read over the feedback I was given then go over my novella and let me know if I corrected all the issues. I didn’t change all that much... just tweaked, added a few things here and there. And in the process, I learned the difference between a cart and a wagon. Wagons have four wheels, carts have two. I was using the term interchangeably.

I also got an email from my other history prof. She too is willing to write me a letter of recommendation. I am a good student after all! They like me, they really like me! Kind of nice to know they’re willing to put their names out there to help me make mine.

So, from an often cynical girl who finds it hard to believe in people, sometimes, people can do good. I emphasize the word ‘sometimes’. What? I can’t just be all optimistic... you wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Lauren

Writing Weekend Part 2

I’m having one of those days.

I spent the majority of today hiding in my tower AKA my bedroom. Since I finished going over my novel yesterday, I thought today should be dedicated to my novella. Yep, finally read the feedback. I don’t know why I have such an issue with written feedback.

Basically, the main issue was with tone and setting. My novella is set in nineteenth century rural Canada but there was some confusion because of the way my characters sometimes spoke or acted. Solution: adding details about fashion, old swears that aren’t technically swears, I threw in a few more horses, cut out the back-talking kids, added more formal speech... VOILA! I’m not quite done yet so we’ll see if I add or take out more things. Other than that, it was suggested that I tie up the romance a bit better which I really should have done initially... I don’t really know why I didn’t. I don’t remember what else there was... oh, more physical descriptions of my characters. I’m trying, but there are a lot of characters for a very short work. I added little traits to the characters that show up more often but I don’t think I’ll be adding more than that.

There were three pages of comments which I was really exciting about. There were a lot of really good points and interesting ideas. I added about 2000 words and I still have... 20ish pages to go through.

When I got sick of doing that, I returned to the book I just started reading. It’s another instance of having seen the movie first. Though in this case, I think the screenplay may have been written before the book because they’re very similar. Shamim Sarif did write the book, the screenplay, she directed and I think edited the movie as well.

As of this moment, I’m watching Dwayne formerly “The Rock” Johnson prancing about in a tutu and cowering in the presence of Julie Andrews. I’m in a bit of a crappy mood and Disney is an excellent way to calm down.

Days like today remind me that it isn’t wrong to want to move out of my house. They remind me that it’s normal, that it’s healthy and that it has to happen soon. Did I mention the MFA program I’m applying for is located in Toronto?

Lauren.

Writing Weekend Part 1

Lauren sleepy.

Lots of writing progress today! I fixed all the mistakes Dana found in my novel so now I’m free to move ahead once more.  YAY! The only thing is, now I have to work on my novella. I sent it off to be proofed and got really great feedback a little while ago. I have to admit, I glanced at the feedback, but I haven’t really read it through thoroughly yet. I know the general points, but reading what people think of my work is nerve wracking. Even when I know I did well. Verbal feedback I can do… there’s just something about having it on paper. There, another Lauren quirk.

Other than that, I wrote the dreaded ‘aspirations’ letter. I used the word ‘I’ enough to make a little Greek-inspired house with a crapload of columns. Still, the ideas are there and it’s not that bad. My mom provided the winning strategy for writing that thing. I answered the questions point form with anything that popped into my head. When I had a decent list, I strung the ideas together into sentences. I realize now that the prof who called me a sod essentially told me the same thing. She told me to write a CV which is the proper and academically accepted term for a resume. I hate writing resumes about as much as I hate writing letters of intention. Perhaps the real stumbling block here is that I know how much these letters matter. They’re important deciding factors for whether or not I’ll be accepted to the program and I really want this. It’s probably the most incredible learning opportunity I could imagine. How could I not want it? They only take 12 people. Hopefully I do turn out to be a lucky sod.

I also emailed a couple of history profs asking them for letters of reference… we’ll see how that goes. HA! I mean… it will go well. I’m a wonderful student.  Okay… well, I have to write this because it’s just… funny. As I finished typing the HA! I got an email back from one of the profs I wrote and he said it was wonderful that I was applying to an MFA program. He asked me if I could meet him Wednesday. Maybe the world isn’t out to get me after all? This is a revelation!

More writing to do tomorrow. I have an agenda to finish, a novella to tweak, a portfolio to start putting together and a novel to continue. Should be a breeze.

Lauren.

Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief Review

I hate letters of intention. I hate letters that expect me to state my aspirations. In spite of having a blog where I talk about myself every darn day, I really don’t like talking about myself. It’s one thing to say I almost slipped and fell out of the tub (today's clumsy moment). I find that easier to say than… “I would be perfect for this program because blah, blah, blah.” Isn’t that strange?

Anyway, apart from agonizing over that stupid letter, I finished reading Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief. Here are my thoughts.

Reading this book was kind of a first for me. I don’t usually watch the movie first. That being said, in this case, I really don’t recommend watching the movie first. It totally threw me off. In the movie Percy looks like he’s 16 or 17. In the book he’s 12. I had a very hard time adjusting my image of him. Because there is a pretty significant difference in the way one would write a 12 year old and a 16 year old character. Moreover, the movie is almost a completely different story. Both are enjoyable, but now having read the book, many aspects of the story make much more sense. I'd say that the movie went through the Disney Sanitizing Machine in order to make it more generally appealing.

The storyline is basically about Percy Jackson, a demi-god (his father is one of the Greek gods) and his friends going off on a dangerous quest to find and return Zeus’ stolen lightening bolt.

I really have to credit Rick Riordan for the absolutely fantastic way he incorporates mythology into his narrative. Having taken some classical studies courses (not as many as I would have liked) his mythology is bang on.  It’s really quite wonderful how he modernizes and incorporates monsters, epithets, character descriptions, technology, weaponry and stories from the classical period. At the same time, he incorporates many modern social issues like pollution, the advancements of Western civilization, family conflicts like divorce, abusive relationships and blended families as well as dealing with dyslexia and ADHD. It’s all pretty neat.

It’s a really great, relatable book for young teens. It’s a good introduction to mythology while simultaneously being a funny, oddly realistic (considering it’s fantasy), captivating adventure and mystery novel. I think this would probably be a very good read for boys who don’t particularly care for reading. The plot moves quickly, there’s a lot of dialogue, lots of detail, it’s not overwhelming stylistically, it’s action packed. At the same time, young girls will be able to connect with Riordan’s very confident, strong, female characters. I would love to see this read in schools. I’m not a teacher yet and already I can see a million activities and discussions arising from this book.

So… I liked it. Can you tell? I loved it for the mythology, I loved it for the humour and I loved how the story developed. Children of the world, girls of the world, please put down your Twilight and pick up Percy Jackson.

Lauren.

A New Name

I've had quite a few nicknames. Some short forms of my first name, some were jokes about my last name, some for my initials, others were completely random. At one point, my nickname came from the maroon pair of socks I wore to soccer practice. Obviously I didn't want to wear my current uniform socks... then I'd have to wash them before my game... I don't like smelly socks.

I've also been called other things, less pleasant things. I've been called a robot which I'm clearly not. I'd be the worst robot ever given my inability to understand most math. I've been called a bitch (what woman hasn't?) though that one was most likely warranted. I can be rather disagreeable if I want to be. I've been called a dick, a jerk, a loser. A lot of time the last three are said in jest.

Lots of names.

Prior to today, I was under the impression that I'd been called just about everything. I was mistaken. Today someone called me "a lucky sod". I've never been called a sod. And the word 'lucky' is very rarely tacked on to my name. So to be called a 'lucky sod' was pretty different.

I read a lot of English books and watch an obscene amount of Gordon Ramsey related television so I wasn't completely in the dark. I had a fairly good idea of what a sod was. I found it pretty amusing actually. Just to make sure though, I looked up the definition of sod and found out it was grass.

The conventional dictionary failed me! I  knew what that kind of sod was and I was fairly certain that I hadn't been called a lucky roll of grass. I found the actual answer in a few less conventional dictionaries:

Sod - This word has many uses. My father always used to say "Oh Sod!" or "Sod it!" if something went wrong and he didn't want to swear too badly in front of the children. If someone is a sod or an "old sod" then it means they are a bit of a bastard or an old git. "Sod off" is like saying "piss off" or "get lost" & "sod you" means something like "f*** off". It also means a chunk of lawn of course. You can usually tell the difference! (http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml)

You can definitely tell the difference. Another definition was:

Noun. 1. A contemptible or objectionable person.
2. A pitiable person. E.g."He's just had his car stolen and his wife has just run off with the milkman, the poor sod." This use is also be found with the expressions 'poor bastard' and 'poor bugger'.
3. A thing or action that is difficult or problematic. E.g. "We had a sod of a journey, getting stuck in a traffic jam at Birmingham for over 3 hours." (http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/s.htm)

I have to say, after going through these sites, the English have some pretty great expressions. I just laughed out loud at one and I don't think I can type it here... it was very descriptive (if you’re curious, it was on the second site very close to ‘sod’).

Either way, I think it's pretty hilarious. And in case you were wondering why I was called a sod, I went to school and asked a prof for some help with my grad school application. I think she's a fan of a couple members of the faculty (they're popular Canadian writers). The possibility that I might be taught by one of them apparently makes me a lucky bastard. Hehehe! I can live with that.

Lauren Daily, lucky sod.

Mall-Walker, Doctors and Leg-Waxers

Self Discovery #82 974: I am not a mall walker.

I got up early today. It looked like it was going to rain. I didn’t want to walk to my doctor’s, so I asked to borrow the car. Borrowing the car meant driving my mom to work.

When it comes to shopping I’m a terrible procrastinator. Unless it’s for a book or a movie. Then I get shit done. But for clothes... meh. For shoes, double meh. Given that I was already awake, alone and in possession of wheels, I decided to make my way to the always open WalMart to pick up some new undershirts, razors, deodorant and underwear. There’s a line in the movie Gray Matters “I haven’t bought new underwear in like... four years. Ewww... that’s kind of gross.” I acknowledge the grossness of that fact. Anyway, I ran in, grabbed my stuff, went to the cash and only had to restart the paying by debit process twice because I didn’t understand the stupid buttons. I was tired. It was barely eight thirty and I only fell asleep around three. The girl on cash thought it was hilarious. At least I made her smile. See, progress! Not only did I make a girl smile and laugh, I let her see my underwear. I get more daring every day!

There were a few other things I wanted to get that I did not find at WalMart so I entered the mall only to discover a bunch of really cranky looking elderly folk. Most of them stared at me as if to say: “What are you yawning about! In my day you would have had the back twenty acres of our farm ploughed by this time! And we didn’t have any of those newfangled tractor contraptions! We had horses!” And then there were the young families, almost all of whom had two children. They (the adults) stared at me as if to say: “We’re only here because we had to walk these things and it looked like rain. What’s your excuse”. Highly offended, I tried not to look at any more people which, I must say, was easier said than done. I was just walking around randomly. They knew I wasn’t a real mall-walker. I was too self conscious to be a regular. I went around the entire mall (it takes about seven minutes at the most) waiting for doors to open. They did not. I still had half an hour to wait. That’s when I decided that I just didn’t feel like waiting that long. In truth, I just couldn’t take the pressure. 

Other adventures included going to the doctor’s where I had a blood test done and discovered that three other women had been in this week with a case of spontaneous hives. My doctor has no idea what’s causing it (YOUR OFFICE PERHAPS?). After that, I went to get my legs waxed with Jenny. About time too... She’s blonde, she can get away with it. I have dark brown hair that grows at what must be an accelerated rate. She was calling herself Chewbacca... HA! LIES! (What the hell? Spell check accepts Chewbacca?)

It didn’t hurt as much as I imagined. It was kind of like a slightly more intense feeling than plucking my eyebrows. Although the subject of pain does bring me to

Self Discovery #82 975: Waxing around my ankles hurts more. That was not like plucking my eyebrows.

It feels pretty good now though. I feel clean again! Chewbacca be gone!

Lauren.

The Decisions I Make

I’ve decided a few things.

The modern Sleeping Beauty was not under a spell. She was given Benadryl. That stuff is awesome. I slept all night, woke up near noon and I didn’t have any scary crazy dreams like I do when I take Nyquil. Oh, and my itching went away. No more hives! I think Benadryl should consider going into the sleep-aid business.

Other than that, I did some writing. Dana gave me a good suggestion. My explanation for travelling across worlds was... confusing. Dana told me that I should write it as if I was explaining it to a five year old. So I did and now Dana is satisfied, therefore, I too am satisfied. My novel has a point again! Yay for successful communication of ideas! It only took three tries. Now I know it's true, third time's the charm.

I’m less happy with my grad school application. I have to write a maximum three page letter stating my aspirations as a writer. I stated but my statement only took up about half a page... so I’m thinking they’re looking for more. What more is I don’t quite know. I feel like a doofus for what I’ve written so far. Since the thesis is a novel length project I'm wondering if they want a plan for the novel I’d write. Because in that case, I’m going to have to plan out a novel. My unnamed prof suggested I email another prof. So I guess I’ll see about that. I did decide on a genre though which is good. I double majored in English and history, might as well put that knowledge to good use and write historical fiction. Plus, the one time I wrote a historical piece, I have to admit, it was pretty fun.

I don’t know what more to blog about. Dana has suggested blogging about how awesome she is... I think I'll decide against that. I  don’t think I want to torture you right away. I'll be subjecting you to another Lauren and Dana baking extravaganza in a few weeks when we attempt to make red velvet cake and have a Lord of the Rings marathon. We’re filming the baking portion of the evening. We’ll need evidence... Should be fun.

For today, this is all I have to say. Not very exciting. Pray for me. I have to go to the doctor’s again tomorrow and I really don’t want to come back with another illness. I’m sick of being sick.

Lauren.

‘Childhood Illness” Memory Lane

I seem to be travelling down ‘Childhood Illness” Memory Lane. First the ear infection (that completely cleared up by the way). Last night, I came down with a terrible case of hives. I don’t know why. But being itchy is definitely worse than having a pain in my ear. I think I scratched off part of my scalp. Obviously I didn’t sleep much.

I got up sometime around 5:30, read for a bit, ate breakfast then settled in to watch a movie. Apparently five minutes into my movie, I was snoring. My sister is the only person who's ever heard me snore. I don't think she knows what snoring sounds like. I don't remember much of the movie I was watching but I heard the music loud and clear. Messed up dreams from that my friends. John Williams does not write good sleeping music. I felt like I was on some kind of crazy hallucinogen.

I’m dosed up on Benedryl at the moment so I’m kind of falling asleep. Which is essentially what I’ve been doing all day. Nausea, itching, sleepiness. A great day over all. I swear, if I had a pay check it would have been spent at Shoppers Drug Mart... on actual medication.

These things come in threes don’t they? Please not strep... strep was horrible. Although, it did give me a new appreciation for ice cream. Not that I didn’t appreciate it thoroughly before. I have to go back to my doctor’s on Wednesday. Who knows what I’ll pick up...

This is what I get for being a hermit.

On a random and completely unrelated note, is anyone else sad to see Tracy leave Master Chef? She was my fave. Who am I going to root for now?  

Lauren.

Voldemort Stars in "Maid in Manhattan"

Maid in Manhattan was on TV today. My mom was watching it while she was cleaning. I don’t know if it was coincidental or inspirational, but either way, when I woke up, Jennifer Lopez and Ralph Fiennes were on TV.

When I first sat down Ralph wasn’t on screen. As soon as he appeared, I regret to say, I immediately pictured Lord Voldemort. Even without the makeup, the poor guy looks like Voldemort. Though to his credit, his nose is infinitely better than Voldemort’s.

Naturally, because I’m me, I thought it was hysterically funny.

Jennifer Lopez ended up making out with Voldemort. Eww. Bellatrix will be so upset. I bet that dancer’s booty is what made the difference. Watch out Jennifer, a crazy English witch is gonna come get you and Avada Kadavra your dancing ass!

The making out eventually led to that hotel scene where Jennifer is getting out of bed, presumably after having had sex with the Dark Lord. So here’s my question about that. If they conceive a child, does it have a soul? Because as everyone now knows, Voldemort’s soul was separated in seven and all those pieces were eventually destroyed. Does Jennifer Lopez have enough soul to make up the difference? And if not, is their child immortal? Can one live without a soul?

And of course, my mind kept going back to that scene from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire where Voldemort has Harry pinned against a statue in the grave yard. He pokes Harry in the forehead and says: “Gnnaaaaa! I can touch you now!” Well, I waited and waited and waited but Ralph Fiennes never delivered that line to Jennifer Lopez. I think it would have been really hot if he’d said it before that hotel scene. Don’t you?

I laughed my way through the entire movie thinking these things. I kind of like my version better. It gives the classic romantic comedy a little something extra. Besides, I’d like to think that even the Dark Lord has a heart. Maybe his heart is like the Grinch’s and it’s just very small and he needs JLo to help him grow it a few sizes.

I should be clear, he’s poking her in the FOREHEAD with his FINGER and she is helping his HEART grow a few sizes. No male reproductive organ jokes here... Although, what else would make a man want to take over the world... let us ponder this question as we consider the damage Lord Voldemort caused.

Yep, you read it here first, I’m an idiot.

Lauren.

Snippets from my Brain

Uh... I did something worthy of writing about today... There’s something going on...

Nope. I got nothing. So, another random post.

1.      Ever notice that in Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark, when Harrison Ford is standing on the cliff ready to fire a missile at the ark in order to get Marian back, that a bug crawls into Belloq’s mouth? He doesn’t even react. He just keeps talking. Bravo, and EWWWWWWWW!

2.      Why is the villain in Indiana Jones: Raider of the Lost Ark’s name spelled Belloq when John Rhys Davies pronounces his name Bellosh? Given that he’s French, it should be spelled Belloche. Anyone with me?

3.      I’m hungry and have a bizarre craving for those super unhealthy breaded and deep fried mozzarella sticks. Because nothing says YUM! quite like deep fried, melty cheese.

4.      I set aside Eat, Pray, Love. It’s good and everything, but it’s way too easy to put down. I’ll finish it eventually. It’ll be good to read when I go back to school. Short chapters, short stories, easy to put away when my profs start talking.

5.      It’s really hot here. I sat outside talking to my former neighbours (that I liked) for about... half an hour or so and I was sweating like I was actually doing a physical activity.

6.      I reorganized the movie cabinet. The system has FALLEN! It is no more! Kaput! Gone! I think my family was scared to mess up my system so they were just leaving the movies out. Turns out that bugged me more than a messy cabinet. It is now in alphabetical order. We’ll see how long that lasts.

These are my random thoughts from today. None really worth of being written about, but there you have it.

Lauren.