To avoid all of this unwanted closeness, I made some suggestions. As it turns out, my suggestions would land me in prison. Collapsible baseball bats are not an appropriate means of crowd control. Darn. It's for the threat factor... it's not like I would actually hit anyone. Really... I'm not insane... I take pills for that.
Anyway, my mother's suggestions (which were better than mine) included the following:
- A hula hoop held up around my waist by suspenders. Suspenders are in right? So I'd be partially fashionable.
- Hockey sticks that extend three feet in all directions. I'm less fond of this one. I think I would just be hooking a lot of things and getting stuck places. The whole point is to make moving about in crowds more convenient for me. It's just defeating the purpose if I get stuck on everything now isn't it? On top of which, I don't see how it's very different from my initial idea.
I did not have either of these devices today so jostled and nearly run over I was. I'll work on it. My birthday is in March... that's not too long to wait. Unlike waiting in line at WalMart. I swear we got in line behind the one woman who decided to do a month's worth of grocery shopping.
On the bright side, I got my iced tea (which I drink now due to low caffeine content and my stupid acid reflux) and we picked up some good movies, Calendar Girls among them. If you're a fan of forty/fifty something English actresses, this movie has them all. The story is lovely too. It's the story of middle aged (I suppose) English women who posed for a nude calendar in order to raise funds. True story.
I recommend it. I find it endlessly fascinating what people will do, why they do it and how they go about getting it done. Git 'er done on a whole other level. It's not a new movie, I forget when I first saw it, but it's certainly worth it.
Check it out!