Space Device and Calendar Girls

I went temporarily insane today. My parents asked me if I'd go with them to the mall. God, why did I go? It was ridiculously busy. I'm a girl who likes her space. I don't like being jostled, I don't like being crammed between people, I don't like having to jump out of the way to avoid being run over by a mad, cart-pushing, French-speaking, woman who isn't paying attention. It's scarier than you might think. She was on a mission I tells ya!

To avoid all of this unwanted closeness, I made some suggestions. As it turns out, my suggestions would land me in prison. Collapsible baseball bats are not an appropriate means of crowd control. Darn. It's for the threat factor... it's not like I would actually hit anyone. Really... I'm not insane... I take pills for that.

Anyway, my mother's suggestions (which were better than mine) included the following:

1. A hula hoop held up around my waist by suspenders. Suspenders are in right? So I'd be partially fashionable.
2. Hockey sticks that extend three feet in all directions. I'm less fond of this one. I think I would just be hooking a lot of things and getting stuck places. The whole point is to make moving about in crowds more convenient for me. It's just defeating the purpose if I get stuck on everything now isn't it? On top of which, I don't see how it's very different from my initial idea.

So... I'm leaning toward hula hoop. Besides, I can use it to exercise when I'm standing in the express checkout lane that moves about as quickly as all the other lanes.

I did not have either of these devices today so jostled and nearly run over I was. I'll work on it. My birthday is in March... that's not too long to wait. Unlike waiting in line at WalMart. I swear we got in line behind the one woman who decided to do a month's worth of grocery shopping.

On the bright side, I got my iced tea (which I drink now due to low caffeine content and my stupid acid reflux) and we picked up some good movies, Calendar Girls among them. If you're a fan of forty/fifty something English actresses, this movie has them all. The story is lovely too. It's the story of middle aged (I suppose) English women who posed for a nude calendar in order to raise funds. True story.

I recommend it. I find it endlessly fascinating what people will do, why they do it and how they go about getting it done. Git 'er done on a whole other level. It's not a new movie, I forget when I first saw it, but it's certainly worth it.

Check it out!

Lauren.

Percy Jackson 2 and 3

My break from reality (aka teacher's college) has enabled me to do one of the two things I never get to do while in school. I've been reading. For fun. Actual books, not just random novels/short stories online to pass the time. Not that that's not reading... it's just that there's often a big gap in quality between online and printed media. Plus, online is my guilty pleasure where I read trash. Back to my point though!

In the last week I've finished two books. Books two and three of the Percy Jackson series. They are titled The Sea of Monsters and The Titan's Curse. Both excellent reads. I just zipped right through them. They're easy, they're fun and they are jam packed with accurate and educational material. Not to mention action, suspense and, yes, the angst of teenage romance. Actually, I find the romantic relationships to be pretty mature. I'm 22 and many of my peers still don't have that kind of, well, maturity. Maybe it's because they don't fight dragons and manticores. Despite that, this series is a much better choice for young adults than the (in my opinion) obsessive, possessive and manipulative relationships of another popular series of books. Overall, I think these books are amazing. There are social lessons, history lessons, mythology lessons, lessons about values, morals and people. And what's amazing is that they're so wrapped up in this cool, easy-going narrative, that you barely notice. Percy is probably the least intimidating narrator I've come across. He's very much your typical teenager. He's a cool kid but he's also socially awkward at times. He's insecure, he's self-consious but he's firm in his beliefs, he's loyal and trustworthy. He doesn't know everything. Usually, he's the last to know something. He speaks like a teenager and he's great to speak to a wide range of teenagers. Man! I wish Percy Jackson was in the stupid curriculum... I would have so much fun teaching that!





















If you haven't checked them out yet, you must. Okay, you should. Particularly if you have a kid who's not fond of reading. The books aren't long and they don't get longer as the series progresses.

I don't want to blather on too long because I've done a Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief review and thus far, everything I said there still applies. I probably repeated.

Rick Riordan is now on my list. The good one. The one of people I want to meet.

Lauren.

2 for 1 Discoveries

I can't even think of anything mildly entertaining to talk about today. Wrote, watched movies, read. I enjoyed it but it's not the most interesting thing to talk about.

Discovery of the day: Eggnog will separate from water if you let it stand. Weird right? I don't know why but I suspect it's because eggnog is thick and heavy.

Second discovery of the day: Your cat barfing is the signal that your sister's ride has arrived (very much like a doorbell). She can make it out of the house in 2.5 seconds.

Uh... that's about it for today. I know. Endlessly fascinating.

Lauren.

Quiet Day and Camelot Review

Quiet day. Just what a vacation should be. I watched some movies, hung out with Dana, cleaned my room, read and did some writing. What more can a girl ask for?

This is my favourite part of Christmas break. After all the visiting and eating is over, there's silence and real rest.

I also watched the end of the newest Camelot series. I haven't seen all the episodes but from what I did see, it was quite good. I know next to nothing about Arthurian/Camelot lore but I'm pretty sure adaptations have been made. From what I do know, this version is an interesting, less magical, more "this is how the legend developed" take on the classic stories. Merlin is a magician, but in the episodes that I saw, he wasn't practicing a whole lot of magic. Also, when anyone tries to use magic, their eyes bleed. Weird twist but there you have it. I kind of like the idea of magic coming at a cost and requiring sacrifice and effort on behalf of the practitioner. No matter how it's used some terrible consequence always seems to befall the user.

Otherwise, it's got some pretty sick twists. Sick in the sense that it's icky. Then again, I suppose that's how you're supposed to feel. There isn't an excess of gore which was nice. There was also a lot, like a lot, of nudity and sex. So, while the violence is PG13, the sex makes it R or higher. The people are good looking at least? My parents were kind of awkward. Is it weird that I wasn't awkward?

Given the cliffhanger ending, my father absolutely does not want to see anything that follows this series. The end was gross (got some incest going on) and the fact that the villain didn't get her comeuppance really bothered him. He really can't handle plot twists...

If you're into Arthur and Camelot legends, it's probably worth a look.

Lauren.

Christmas Take 2

Today was a long day. I spent most of it with family. We had dinner and celebrated Christmas with my Mom's side of the family yesterday and we redid the whole shebang with my Dad's side today. It was mostly the same though the menu was a little larger. We aren't carnivores at all... no... we only had a beef roast, a pork roast, clam chowder (which I cannot eat), chicken wings (which I didn't want to attempt eating), meatballs and... I feel I'm forgetting a meat group. Oh, we also had bacon in things and wrapped around things. So... I'd best not marry a vegetarian or God forbid a vegan. The poor thing will starve. There were two salads, one made of leaves, the other made of pasta and neither one were vegan friendly. We didn't even thank God or the numerous animals that died. We're going to hell and making vegans cry.

Aside from that, I came home with a few riddles.

1) How many types of bird are there in "The Twelve Days of Christmas"?
2) If you have three grown men in front of a plate of cookies, each with two arms and two hands, how long will it take for the cookies to disappear?
3) How many Hail Marys or Our Fathers will I have to say in order to be forgiven for enjoying the dead pork and meatballs?

Okay, so only the first one is a riddle, but what do you think? It's not as obvious as you might think.

After all that, I realized that I've finally gotten to an age where I make children uncomfortable. My cousin arrived with her four children (all with an energy rating of 12 on a scale reaching 10). My other cousin brought her daughter. I babysat the latter, but she was still shy around me even though I could hear her shouting "LAUREN BABYSAT ME! SHE'S MY BABYSITTER!" And then one of the four became curious about birthstones. By some weird twist of fate that I didn't see coming, we happened to have the same birthday. Weird. What the hell is so special about the day 9 months prior to March 24th? I know like six people with that birthday. Beside the point. My aunt practically dragged the poor girl over, even after said girl had protested stating "I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!" She grabbed the girl's hand and flung it toward me. I shook it. My aunt then proceeded to talk for the poor child. I tried to look sympathetic. I don't like people now. I certainly didn't like them when I was her age. I answered her question and she scampered off screaming the answer to her siblings. Kids really have to learn to whisper. Maybe I'll do a lesson on that...

A long day, but definitely fun. Christmas is over! Yippee!

Lauren.

Christmas Crisis Averted

I don't know why I get so worked up for Christmas every year. It never ends up being a horrible disaster. At least not anymore. Maybe my family has just stopped caring? Or maybe they've come to the conclusion that I'm super gay and won't ask about a partner until I tell them and they can't ignore it. Either way, if I don't have to answer boyfriend questions, I'm a happy camper. And while my one aunt was clearly "chomping at the bit" to talk to me about teaching and how I was finding teacher's college, she didn't once insult me. Do I have street cred now or something? Family confuses me.

There was however one incident. My grandfather, with his ever-pleasant demeanour, decided that he wasn't happy with one of his gifts. He sulked when he opened it and asked what he was expected to use it for. It was a gift certificate to Canadian Tire. We all suspect it was a hint to purchase the remaining two winter tires he needs. We live in northern Ontario. You need winter tires and you need them in the front and back of your car. I completely missed that incident. I don't know where I was... probably eating and not caring about what was going on around me... we'll just say I was in the bathroom. When my sister, who was completely scandalized, told me of the incident, I kind of wanted to laugh.

There are two reasons I found the situation humorous. The first is that my grandfather's behaviour is not at all outside his norm. He's a miserable man who, quite frankly, should count himself lucky that people still visit him, let alone give him gifts. So, surprised that he did it in front of everyone? A little. Surprised that he did it? Absolutely not.

The second reason is the funnier of the two. Yesterday, my mother spent a considerable amount of time wrapping gift cards. Yup, she's that meticulous. Well, this morning we all gathered to open our gifts. I got some lovely new cardigans (which according to the grade nines, I wear a lot of). My mom got her sweatpants which she is not allowed to leave the house in. My dad got some movies. My sister was the recipient of the majority of the gift cards. She got one for Shoppers, she got one for gas, she got one for a restaurant... Wait, a restaurant? My mom paused over that. My sister wasn't supposed to get a gift card to a restaurant. That was supposed to go to my grandparents. Being me, I logically suggested opening my grandparents' gift card. After some fiddling with the wrapping, we came upon my sister's gift. A gift card to La Senza.

If my grandfather was unhappy with a Canadian Tire gift certificate, I'm curious to know how he would have reacted to getting a gift card to La Senza. Now how would he use that one?

Where one can purchase car parts, tools, decorations, cookware stuff, winter clothing...

OR WHAT HE NEARLY GOT...

A lingerie store where nothing there would fit him. 

I don't think those are the kind of tires a car requires in Northern Ontario. See? I don't know why I panic. With shit like this happening, I should be endlessly entertained.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Lauren.

Many FUs

I doubt any of you need me to tell you this, but it's Christmas Eve. I don't know why, especially since I've been looking forward to the holidays for weeks, but I don't feel particularly Christmassy. I guess part of it has to do with our shocking lack of snow. There's nothing! In 22 years I've never seen a green Christmas. I don't like it. Maybe less-than-Christmas-cheer has something to do with my lack of mall visits or excursions into places where Christmas music would be played obsessively. I didn't bake with my grandma, I didn't help her set up her tree. I still don't have the winter layer in my coat. I really should do that...

In spite of all that, tomorrow is in fact Christmas. My sister will pop in tomorrow before nine, we'll all open gifts, we'll traipse over to my grandmother's, probably come home for a bit, then leave again for Christmas dinner at my Uncle's. The dinner will likely feel redundant given that we'll be there with my grandparents, my cousin T and his girlfriend. But whatever, that's Christmas right? Seeing all your relatives, getting your fill for the year... We usually have a ton of dinners and other such things at this time. About three on my mom's side and one on my dad's. I don't particularly look forward to any of them. Although I am rather curious about turducken, which is allegedly what we're going to be eating tomorrow night. I think I'll take my heartburn medication. As a precautionary measure.

The reason I don't look forward to my family get togethers is that many of my relatives are more interested in tearing me down than boosting me up. They're like that with everyone so it's not just me, but I don't really see why I should have to put up with it. Over the years I've made several families. Families are people who make you feel good about yourself and help you without question. It's not a blood thing. As you may suspect, my relatives... don't always fit those criteria. I can't wait to see my one aunts and listen while she tells me that I'll make a horrible teacher and that's it's much more work than I expected. I also can't wait to hear the usual "where's your boyfriend" comments. I await them with great anticipation every year. This year's responses will include:

With regards to being a horrible teacher:
I have thirty kids who will say otherwise. (I'm leaving room for some kids to dislike me)
My faculty advisor and the grade she gave me would disagree with you.
IF THAT FAILS: I'll likely just ignore it.

I think a polite "FU" is most effective in this case.

With regards to my "boyfriend":
I can't decide between Jeff, Ben and Greg... they all have such different talents. (A sarcastic FU)
I just keep falling for people who aren't interested in me. (The awkward FU)
I'm a lesbian. (Shock value FU)
IF THAT FAILS: I'll likely just ignore it.

You'll notice the lack of a polite FU in this category. I can't think of one... I've gone over this too often. I suppose you've also noticed that I know a lot of ways to say FU. And that's just with language. You should see body language. Should I have the opportunity to use any of these, I'll let you know how that goes over.

For now however, Merry Christmas!

Lauren.

BEd Detox

Another quiet day.

At the beginning of the year (meaning starting in September) as well as at the beginning of every placement, I assured various people that I would never get used to being up and at it by eight thirty.

Well, I think I think I got used to it. Three weeks of my placement routine has thrown off all my other routines. I'm not sleeping which is odd after sleeping through the night every night since September. I'm not sleeping in, which is something I used to do without trying. The other day I was at the school where I did my placement. I was there for the first period class. Because I got a ride, I arrived at my usual time. Just sitting there waiting, I realized how much I actually did accomplish by eight thirty. It never felt like much time while I was doing it, but just waiting... I couldn't help but wonder why I'd been rushing.

And now that I have nothing I need to be doing urgently, I'm mystified about what I used to do with my time. What did I used to do with my time? Read, write... neither of them feel... urgent enough. I feel like I need to be accomplishing so many things but I don't have anything that needs accomplishing. I feel weird. This is weird.

I think there needs to be a BEd detox. Like when scuba divers surface too quickly, they get the benz, well, I've got whatever BEd students get when all activity ceases.

Lauren "I'm Bored" Daily

Searching for Today

Lauren scampered about her home in a confused daze. She knew she'd left it somewhere. Where had she seen it last? Into the hall closet she dove, pushing aside coat after coat until she found her own. It was purple and still in its spring form. She kept forgetting to add the winter layer. Perhaps she'd do that after she concluded her search.

Anxiously, the brunette dug through her pockets, practically turning them inside out in her haste. She didn't find what she was looking for. Although, it did comfort her to know that her keys were tangled up in her mittens and what she hoped was an unused tissue. She stormed off to her next target. Her coat remained in the closet, untouched.

She searched the laundry room. Recently her parents implemented a policy that everyone was to use the backdoor to avoid tracking in pine needles, slush and sand. She rarely remembered to go around the house, but still, on occasion her things wound up hanging by the door. Unfortunately, it was painfully obvious that none of her things were there. She did however add "ignore the litter box" to her list of things to do.

Desperate, Lauren tidied her room. Again. Nothing. She looked under her bed. She found a few boxes, some hair elastics and many socks but nothing close to what she was after. She was getting angry. It had to be somewhere. Things didn't just disappear!

Deciding that a momentary break from her hunt would enable her to think more clearly, Lauren flipped open her laptop. Her screen refreshed and there, sitting before her, was exactly what she'd been looking for. How she'd spent her whole day playing with iMovie she couldn't say, but at least now she knew where her day went.


Okay, so after I took Meeko to the vet, got snarled at, covered in hair, chuckled at by a strange English veterinarian, ran a red light and wrestled my idiot cat out of the car, I didn't do much. And that was over by ten o'clock at the latest. I don't usually get chuckled at by strange people with accents until noon. I'm not sure that counts either since my sister's usually the one doing the accent. She's favouring Scottish at the moment. It sound kind of like a cross between Fat Bastard and Kevin McKidd. Now imagine that voice coming out of Liv Tyler and that's my sister. Are you afraid?

Anyway, notes from today: I did nothing. It was a good day. Cats will escape from laundry baskets and cause you to run red lights if they are given the opportunity. Keep the last one in mind. You never know when that information will come in handy.

Lauren.

The Dork Who Didn't Look Dorky

I must be wicked for I shall not rest.

I was up bright and early today. My former English students were performing their versions of A Midsummer Night's Dream and I didn't want to miss it. Seriously though, these kids are very smart and really funny. I wanted to see what they'd come up with. On top of which, last Friday one of my students asked me if I'd be there and I told her I would. I don't break promises. Of course, I did get a few strange looks. The teachers that passed me kind of chuckled and said things like "Can't get enough?" I suppose not. It was all worth it though. At what other point in my life am I going to be able to see a Pirates of the Caribbean inspired Shakespearean adaptation? Or, a gangsta adaptation (I'm ignoring Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo). There was also farmer version, a Glee version and a Jersey Shore version. For the Jersey Shore skit, they had the one girl dress up in a weird skirt. They also had her tuck in her uniform shirt. She had crooked pigtails and huge glasses.

Oh crap... when did they get here? When did I get red curtains? Whatever. I'm just going to continue.

Did she look like a dork? No. Not really.

Stacy, if you're going to be a Doubting Thomas you can leave. I don't need your Doubting Thomastry. Yes, Thomastry. It's a word. Look it up.

As I was saying. Yes, she did look like the stereotypical dork, but at the same time, not so much. Somehow, I don't profess to know how, but it didn't look nearly as awkward as it should have. Isn't it weird how some people can do that? Throw on a horrible outfit and somehow make it work? Meanwhile, I've been raiding my mother's closet for suitable work clothes. I do have to say, for Stacy's sake, that the one boy (he was playing a girl) needed a much better bra. His boobs ended up looking more like a beer-belly by the time his presentation was over. I simply told him that he'd gone through the stages of womanhood at an excelerated rate. He looked kind of terrified at that information. Hey, he wanted G sized boobs... there are consequences.

In any case, the presentations were fun and creative. I rather enjoyed myself.

Aside from all that, I had a relatively quiet day. As quiet as days get when your cat sounds like a lawn mower. We're taking him to the vet tomorrow. Essentially that means I'm going to be the one packing him up in laundry baskets because after eleven years we still don't have a carrier. I'll be the one holding him. And later, when we finally get home, I'll be the one he avoids all day. Yup, kitty holds a grudge. He's going to be super pissed tomorrow because he's not allowed to eat. My cat weighs sixteen pounds. He likes eating almost as much as he likes sleeping. Drama aside, it is kind of funny (in a I can't believe you're trying that kind of way) to watch him try to literally dig his way out of the laundry baskets.

By the way, returning to my original thought regarding my wickedness. I have to be up early tomorrow to take Mr. Kitty to the vet. It's going to be an interesting day. I should film it. Maybe we'll have the psycho vet who thought I was serious when I said I wanted to make a sweater of my cats fur. As a business venture. I'm aware that I'm a little unusual, but I haven't jumped off the crazy cliff yet. I'm still pretty far from the ledge. The worst part is that I wasn't the first person to think of doing that. I was, unfortunately, the only one who was kidding. Gross.

We'll see what adventures await at the vet's tomorrow.

Lauren.

Hanging Out and Sherlock Holmes 2 Review

I reconnected with another of my lost friends today. No, they weren't lost. I was the absent one. Well, most of my friends are in their final year at university so we're all busy and all secluding ourselves in our academic bubbles. A lot of my friends are also working and planning weddings. I don't know how they do it. I suppose I should be grateful I'm socially stunted to begin with. I'd probably be a terrible girlfriend right about now. Would I have enough awkward charm to save myself? I know not.

I any case, out for sushi with Jenny I went. I only ever eat sushi with Jenny. I don't know why, but that's how it works out. She always knows what to order and I'm like a human garburator who will try anything twice. Today's new food was a sweet potato roll. Quite tasty. We chatted about all kinds of things as usual. I think the last time we hung out was in... eep! During the summer! I think the servers were getting annoyed by us. Eventually three of them made their rounds, stopping at our table and asking if we were done. We were talking... and not ordering more food... Two of them went off in Japanese at the table next to ours. I don't know what the subject of their conversation was. Why does everything sound so... serious and snappish in Chinese or Japanese? Two years in a Chinese food restaurant and I can't figure it out.

If you recall, I also hung out with Veronica this past weekend. We went to see Sherlock Holmes 2 and I did not share my opinion as effectively as I could have. I shall critique it for you now.

So, the story pretty much picks up where the first movie left off, chasing Professor Moriarty. And yes, you actually get to see who he is. Holmes has linked Moriarty to a series of bombings in France and Germany. He suspects that Moriarty is trying to play the nations off on one another but he isn't entirely clear as to why. The movie proceeds with Holmes relentlessly hunting his nemesis and often, being thwarted, but only just. The end, as one might expect, was left open. There could be another sequel on the way.


In terms of action, it's right up there with the last one. Lots of explosions, lots of fight scenes, lots of weaponry that you may not be expecting. There are chase scenes and numerous plot twists. At the same time, the wit and slapstick humour of the first movie are again used to break up what would otherwise be a very violent, dark movie. It's still violent, but the humour doesn't allow the violence to be the central focus. I think it could probably be said that this one is more violent than the first. I'm hesitant to say it, but the argument could be made. I find the first Holmes used a lot of... punching, kicking, martial arts type of fighting. In this one, the fighting is primarily accomplished by using older versions of modern weapons. The additional and different violence is the result of the story centering on  the kind of international terrorism that a 21st century audience would be familiar with, rather than focusing on a psychotic/serial killer type terrorism as was the case with the first film.


I enjoyed it. I don't think fans of the first movie will be disappointed. By the same token, I don't think people who haven't seen the first movie would be confused seeing the second. It was worth paying to see. 

Alright, so, now I just have to hang out with Dana and all will be right in my world.

In about nine hours I will be watching my students perform their scenes from Shakespeare. I'm not going to lie. I'm excited.

Lauren.

I'm Not Weird. I Just Like My Students

There's just something about kids running up to you the second they see you that makes you feel special. Especially when they run up to you because they're excited to show you their Shakespeare assignment. Is this what Santa feels like?

I had some things to drop off at my placement and well, that was pretty much the high point of my day. My former religion kids saw me and asked "What are you doing here? I thought Friday was your last day". To which I could only logically reply that "I'm like a really bad disease. Just when you think you've gotten rid of me, I come back". I told them not to guess at which disease I am. To be honest, I was thinking of herpes. I've never had herpes, but I imagine that nothing would say "surprise!" quite like a flare up. You don't need to tell me if you know.

Herpes and Santa aside, what I'm really trying to say is that I like my students. I never expected teaching to feel so... validating. I love watching people just come to understand something. It's so neat. Sometimes  you can actually see all the pieces falling into place and the lightbulb going off. And what's even better than that, is seeing the quiet kids you rarely hear from, excel at something and learning about them that way. The insight you're privy to as a teacher can be absolutely fascinating.

The reason I bring this up is because I had a random conversation with one of my professors today. He quoted "elementary teachers love their students, secondary teachers love their subjects and university professors love themselves". While I can think of several cases in which the latter is true, I don't think the former can be applied that generally. I've had elementary teachers who couldn't stand us. I've had secondary teachers who'd probably been teaching one subject so long that the words coming out of their mouth lost all meaning. They subsequently had little meaning when they got to my ears but that's another story. My professor commented that my section at school was strange in that we seemed to genuinely care more for our students than had been the norm over the last ten years. I find that to be strange. How do you not care about your students? You see them every day, you work along side them, you see them in ways that their parents won't see them, in some cases, you see them more than their parents will see them. How do you not care? I feel awful when a kid misunderstands something I said and fails a test or a quiz. I look for places I can give partial marks. I hate seeing a kid frustrated because what I'm saying just isn't making sense. And it really bugs me if I can't think of a different way to explain myself. I don't know how you can realistically expect to teach kids if you don't care about them. I mean, if you don't care about them, why should they care about you? Reciprocity. You can't expect from others that which you are unwilling to extend.

There you have it. Lauren's Pearls of Wisdom. They're rare but they happen.

Aside from that, I baked. A lot. About six dozen cookies of one kind and another two and a half dozen of another. Why all this baking was a good idea is still eluding me. Although, I got to bake with an egg replacer and that was kind of interesting. Got to love Christmas!

Lauren.

Finally Sick-ish

It seems to have finally happened. I've been feeling sick and gross and just all around awful for about a week now. I guess a week of feeling blah finally came to a head. I spent most of the day in bed either reading or sleeping. I still feel like crap. Although, I think I forgot to take my meds today so that's definitely not helping.

Of the things I needed to do, I only did the bare minimum. I did some marking... not enough to really say I did it. I wrapped my Christmas gifts because if I didn't it would have been pointless to wrap them at all. Not that I would mind. I hate wrapping gifts. For all of my artistic abilities, I can't seem to manage folding paper around a square object. Yeah, squares, it's not even a complicated shape or God forbid, a sphere. You can always tell which gifts are mine by the way they're wrapped. And it's not like I don't try. I do. The paper just won't cooperate. It's all on the paper. I have no part in the screwing up of such a simple task. If only I'd learned origami as a child!

I don't think I did anything else of significance. I started reading the third instalment of the Percy Jackson series, a purchase I justified yesterday with the claim that "I need a new book to go with my new bookmark!" If you think about it, it really does make perfect sense though initially, people seem to regard that statement with some incredulity. Even the guy at the book store (who usually understands my book buying issues so well) laughed and gave me a look. Well! If Bruce is no longer on my side, I don't know what the world is coming to.

Alas, I am now going to go to bed. I'm wearing a sweater over a long sleeve t-shirt, I'm under a sheet, a comforter and two wool blankets. Am I warm? No, no I am not. This is a sign of exhaustion. I must remedy that.

Lauren.

Visiting a Good Day

I wish I wasn't so tired right now. Veronica came to visit and well, we got a lot done. I started and finished my Christmas shopping (with Veronica's help). We visited the university library, which we were unable to do last time. Oddly enough, there was a couple there getting married... I haven't given marriage a tremendous amount of thought, but I don't think I'd want to be married in my school library. It's a nice building, I love books (generally more than I love people) but it seems kind of strange to me. While there, we ventured up to the third floor. After testing out the chairs, we contemplated doing a potentially bad (though definitely ill-advised) thing with a bouncy-ball. Let's just say you can see right down to the first floor and there are no obstructions. How high would it bounce back? If only we'd had a bouncy-ball...

Coffee followed. And by coffee I mean a hot chocolate and an iced coffee beverage that doesn't taste too strongly of coffee. We also went out to dinner before catching a few movies. The first we watched at my house, the second we went to the theatre for. While my movie cabinet is pretty stocked, I am not important enough, nor right enough, to possess a copy of Sherlock Holmes 2. This is why I wish I was less tired. I could give a well rounded critique. That will have to wait until tomorrow I suppose. For now, I will say that I enjoyed it and thought the miniature pony scene was absolutely priceless. 

An uncharacteristically good day I must say. I'll get back to you with details from the movie. I swear I will!

Lauren.

Lasts and Firsts

Today was a day of firsts.

During my entire scholastic career, I've never attended a school dance. I'm shy, I don't like big crowds of people... combined with the loud music I feel claustrophobic. So I never went. Actually, my sister spend more time at my prom than I did. Tonight, I went to my very first high school dance. Granted I went as a teacher but whatever, it counts. I would have hated it when I was in high school but I found the experience quite entertaining. Sociologists would have a field day! It was a formal so all the kids were dressed up. A lot of the girls had really nice dresses. A lot of girls... were barely wearing dresses. Some of them were told that under no circumstance were they to bend over. Not that you need that mental image. I certainly didn't. I did however learn that by touching a guy's elbow, it will cause him to immediately move his hands from his girlfriend/hook up's ass to a more appropriate location. Filing that tidbit away. I was quite happy to see that none of the student's I've been teaching looked like they belonged on a street corner. They all looked nice. Most of them said hi to me which surprised one of the teachers. Yeah, that's right, I'm that awesome.

My second first was more awkward. It took until I was 22, but a 14 year old boy finally asked me to dance. I always knew I was a late bloomer socially... He also said I looked nice. Is this what people meant when they kept telling me "all in good time" and "it'll happen"? Because I feel kind of creepy. Seriously! What the hell is going on this week? First some teacher tries to set me up with a guy, then one of my student's asks me to dance... I wonder what would have happened if I could stay on my placement longer... apparently woman wasn't the next inevitable step...

My final first. I don't drink coffee. There's no real reason, I'm just not fond of the taste. Tonight, a teacher brought a bunch. They were just sitting on the table, five feet away. I was thirsty. I don't mind it. I don't like it either. The heartburn is not worth it! But I finally, as my AT put it, lost my coffee virginity.

I have to say, today was a good day. I need the break, but I think I will miss my classes. Yes, it's only been three weeks but I had two classes of really good kids. Some were more challenging than others but all of them were funny and sweet and gifted in their own way. For all the stress of getting everything ready and essentially being a performing monkey, I laughed a lot. I enjoyed my time with the students. Even the ones I sometimes wanted to smack upside the head (affectionately of course). Which actually brings me to my next point. The whole secrecy thing at the beginning of the week! The students signed a card for me. They wrote me little wishes, thank yous and we'll miss yous. They bet I would cry, I'm not a crier, but I did awkwardly giggle (which my AT predicted I would do). I'll admit, I'm extremely proud of that card. One girl wrote me a haiku! Another one advised me to always use punctuation properly. They learned! I actually taught people something! I can do this after all!

I probably didn't express myself in the best way when they gave me the card because I'm awkward, but it did mean a lot. I think I'm going to frame it. It was the perfect end of my placement. I'm actually surprised at how attached I am to my students... I don't get attached to people easily. Hmmm...

Lauren.

Metaphors, Math and Minor Miracles

I don't have much to say about today. Mainly because I'm really tired and have to get through tomorrow. At this point, I can't even imagine getting up at 7. It just feels like cruel and unusual punishment. I feel like a shark. Vacation is in the air like blood in the water. I've caught the scent and it's really hard to focus and do what needs to be done. Particularly after a not all that great day. My AT was sick and the kids... did what kids do. I think they smell the blood in the water as much as I do. There you go. Unexpected, kind of scary metaphor.

I can't wait to sort through all my excess paper. I can't wait to put all my books away. I can't wait to clean my room! OH! I can't wait to wear jeans again! And crappy t-shirts! OR PYJAMA PANTS! That will be heaven. Yeah, I'm excited about pants. What? It's the little things that make life special.

Anyway, I spent way too much time tonight trying to figure out how to magically convert levels into numbers. I'm going to be annoyed if it's some kind of haphazard system that involves choosing a random number. God I hate math.

Hopefully I dream of The Count from Sesame Street. I think he would be able to explain math in a way that I can understand.

Lauren.

30 Bad Liars

I must say, the grade nines are terrible liars. They're sweet, but awful at subterfuge. My AT left a ton of papers in her mail box this morning. She sent me down to get them. I thought it was kind of weird, but whatever. I figured she had something she wanted to cover with the students so I just went.

After I'd picked up her stuff, I started walking back toward the elevator. The principal was standing right by the elevator door. I still feel guilty using the elevator (because contrary to popular belief, I am not disabled). I took the stairs. I got bored one day and counted how many stairs there are between my class on fourth and the ground floor. There are sixty. I'm not that in shape. I can do 20?

I got back to the class and the door was locked. Also weird. I knocked and it took a while for them to let me in. My AT was the worst of them all. The kid who opened the door for me was clutching his nose, claiming that he was hurt. Since my AT was trying not to laugh and the majority of the other kids had huge smirks on their faces, I wasn't buying it. Besides, what am I supposed to do with a broken nose? There's nothing in a first aid kit for that... except bandages and his hands were too clean for him to be bleeding. I ignored him and handed my AT her papers. She was still laughing when she told me that Broken Nose really did need to talk to me. I again left the class. The door closed the second I was gone.

Broken Nose walked me down the hallway in front of one of the displays. He tried to make small talk to distract me. I don't think it went exactly according to plan... he wound up asking me "Miss Daily, I have to go potty, will you help me?" I just raised an eyebrow at him and replied "I didn't help you with a broken nose, do you really think I'm going to do that for you?" To prevent further awkward topics, I took over making small talk. We talked about music, university, poetry, all kinds of things. I wound up sitting on the floor by the door of my class. Broken Nose decided he needed to return to his peers after a while. He knocked but he was having a hard time getting back into class. The students inside untaped one of the art pieces from the window to peek out. As soon as he managed to get inside, my AT came out. I have to say, I felt kind of popular. 

She claimed that she was guilting the students because their poetry was awful. Broken Nose got to leave because his work was alright. About five of the best writers were still in the class. That and I don't know when she would have had the opportunity to see everyone's poetry. Before we could really get into it (she was still giggling and somehow claiming not to be an atrocious liar) she started staring at and picking at the doorframe asking "Is that asbestos? What does asbestos look like? Is it mould?"

I was finally allowed back into class. They were all wearing the biggest grins. It was weird to jump into Shakespeare after that. The period went well enough but I don't know what they're up to... I'm guessing that I'll find out soon enough.

Like I said, sweet, great kids, terrible liars. Not that that's a bad thing.

Lauren.

Before I Remember

Hey there!

Here I am, freezing, sitting in my room in the Middle of Nowhere. It's passed midnight and I'm really tired. Why do I procrastinate? I knew I had a ton of stuff to do. Why did I have to take that bath? Why did I have to read that book? Why does my brain have to be shutting down now?! I still need it! Three more days and then it can turn off and do whatever it likes. For now, I need it to work.

Anyway, before I remember something I forgot to do, I'm going to bed.

Goodnight!

Lauren.

Phases of Attraction

Today was pleasantly quiet until about... four o'clock? I wasn't teaching English and in Religion my students were writing a test. Translation: I didn't have a whole lot to worry about. I corrected some English work. I corrected the religion test. I started writing out my lesson for tomorrow. I wasn't feeling the pressure.

And then I got home. Two lessons to plan. That doesn't sound like a lot I'm sure, but I'm starting Shakespeare with the nines. I'm starting the Islam unit with the elevens. I had to read all the content, consider what I wanted them to do, how they were going to prove they knew what I thought they should know... It's a miracle they don't have mental institutions specifically for teachers. Or do they? I might run it... Plus! I had to consider my handouts! The handouts! Bleh. Planning is vital but it still hurts my butt. Meaning that it takes a long time and I'm stuck in the same chair until it's done.

On a more interesting note, I'm moving up in the world.

I've always attracted animals. It's like they know I'm going to pet them and defend them if someone is about to be a douche. Animals tend to follow me around. I don't know why, they just do. Dogs, cats (cats!) fish are kind of limited... but you get the point.  After that, kids started to find me interesting. Babies smiled at me. Why I don't know. Perhaps my discomfort is funny? Toddlers started thinking that I'm amazing. I was their best friend. I have a ton of friends under the age of six. For a while I felt a bit like Snow White. I couldn't remember sticking my head out the window and belting out some catchy tune... but whatever I did or do, it was attracting animals and small children.

Today I've managed to attract an adult male. Fascinating. And flattering. I'm not going to lie. My AT shares a math room with another teacher we'll call... Beverly. During her prep period, my AT informed me that Beverly had asked her if I was single. People don't generally ask that question of me... so I was taken aback. I asked my AT why this question was going around. Beverly was apparently in the mood to play matchmaker. She wanted to set me up with the math/history teacher we'll call... Carl. I think my first reaction was to giggle and ask "seriously?" which I realize is terribly mature. I should have popped my gum and flipped my hair as well. And then I realized that I should probably ask my AT what she responded. Thankfully she told Beverly that she thought I was single but that she didn't think it was a good idea. I don't think I've ever used the word LESBIAN! around my AT but I apparently made myself plenty clear.

Now that I've attracted the attentions of a male human, perhaps I'll be able to attract the attentions of a female human. It's the next inevitable step. I mean, really, think about it. It's only logical. And we all know that logic is important in these matters.

That's the kind of day it was. I'm now off to bed.

Lauren.

A Knit Sweater is a Sign of Future Happiness?

Another quiet day. Again I wrote, I read, I did a bit of work...

Interestingly enough, last night, I had a dream about knit sweaters and learning how to make them. I know that doesn't sound interesting, but when I actually remember my dreams, for fun, I look up what they mean. I usually only remember one or two main things so looking up those key symbols is easy.

I looked up knit sweater and didn't get anything. So I looked up knit and got the following:

Knitting 
To dream that you are knitting signifies a quiet, peaceful and loving home life. It may also refer to someone in your life (past or present) who you associate with knitting. Alternatively, knitting symbolizes your creativity or accomplishments. You need to take time out from your regular routine. To dream that you have difficulties knitting means that you are avoiding some issue.

I only included the difficulties thing because I was learning to knit... so I obviously I'm going to have problems. Even in my dreams no one is perfect.

Because that didn't cover the sweater aspect of my dream, I also looked up what a sweater meant.


Sweater
To see or wear a sweater in your dream symbolizes warmth and love. You have a strong connection to your family and home life. Alternatively, a sweater represents innocence, immaturity, and/or naive thinking. To dream that you are knitting a sweater symbolizes your creativity. It may also indicate that you need practice patience.

When I read both definitions, I remembered that in my dream I was married and had kids. For my friends reading this, I do not have the baby bug... I'm still too immature for that. The sweater told me so. I do however need to practice patience. I'm usually quite patient but when I'm caught in the middle of numerous things at once, I feel scattered and I need resolutions more urgently.

Kind of weird right? Because I also spent the majority of this weekend indulging in pastimes I haven't had the time for in a while. So I did step out of my normal routine. The other part that I find hilarious is the bit about living in a loving home. I do. But I was alone all weekend. Does that mean my dream was referencing the future? Since I'm not presently married or have children. Although... my grade nine English students keep calling me Mrs. Daily... maybe they've confused the Cosmos.

I don't know. I thought it was funny.

The less funny thing I discovered today was that my parents are terrible Christians. I'm giving my grade 11 world religion class a test tomorrow. Yup, I get that privilege as a student teacher. I also get the privilege of marking them. I thought the answers were fairly obvious. My parents got most of the multiple choice questions wrong. Well... I guess we know where they'll be going afterlife wise... I'm kind of happy about that. It means that I'll have company. Maybe they can save me a good seat. After all, I dreamt of a sweater. Given that evidence, I don't see how they could NOT save me a seat.

These are my intelligent thoughts of the day. I wish you all dreams of comfy knit sweaters!

Lauren.

In Between Decision Making

Once again, I am preparing to live in a land of regret. I did nothing today. I read, I wrote, watched some movies, didn't do a whole lot more. I was by myself most of today and I really didn't feel like doing anything. Tomorrow of course, I'm going to have plenty to keep me occupied. Lovely.

To be honest, I needed a quiet day. I didn't even get any emails. Well, I got one email, but I didn't pay close attention to it. There are a lot of things going through my mind and they're... rather difficult to deal with at this juncture in time. I'm in between so many things at the moment that it's hard to know where I stand on anything.

My issues with teacher's college are no secret but now, there's also doubt. Between evaluations, comments, experience and conversations with friends, I don't know that I'm headed in the right direction. There are elements of teaching that I love, but I'm not sure that those elements outweigh the aspects that I'm not fond of. It's difficult to objectively weigh everything because I am so inexperienced. I haven't had time to really get used to anything. It's a very strange system. We're taken directly out of a university setting and plopped into a secondary/elementary setting and expected to adapt perfectly within a matter of three weeks. We just start getting used to the school and class we're in then we're gone again. It frustrates me.

Aside from that, I don't know where I'll be next year and that bothers me. It's the first time... ever, that I don't know what's going to happen. I may be accepted to grad school which will entail a move to Toronto. My application could be rejected in which case, I don't know what I'm going to do. Even if I do decide to go forward with teaching, there are no jobs here.

I don't really have friends at the moment. Of course I have friends, but my BEd friends are off on placement so I don't see them. My pre-BEd friends live out of town or are writing exams and midterms, so I don't see them. Not that I would if they weren't busy. Because I'm busy. And boring. Because all I have to talk about is education. Although, placement does provide me with more entertaining stories.

So you see, I'm in the middle and I don't like it. Today gave me the time I needed to look at my options and weigh pros and cons. Let's just say I've made a soft decision. I suspect that the decision has been made, but I'm leaving room to change my mind. You never know what's going to happen until it happens. Am I right?

Lauren.

Evaluation Day (Week End Review 2/3)

There is a disconnect between my brain and my body today (more than usual). My brain kept telling me that today would be fine. My body kept me running. I'll let you imagine where to. It was my evaluation day. When I really think about it, it's kind of silly that I was that nervous, but no matter what I told myself, my body had plans of its own. I have a teacher watching me and judging my teaching every day, what's one more? Realistically speaking, the difference isn't that big. They just sit in the back of the room writing away.

I made a few mistakes because I was nervous. Nothing unusual there. The class itself went rather well though. I had the students looking for poetic devices in Christmas songs, then they wrote a chorus based on a prompt I wrote out. It was pretty fun and they came up with some really great stuff in such a short time.

Funny moment of the day? Well, I was going around getting the groups to read the chorus they'd written. I'd read/heard them all before asking the students to read their chorus aloud to the class, so I knew what each group had done. I got to the group at the back and asked to hear what they wrote. A kid that doesn't usually talk started reading. I suddenly realized that it wasn't the chorus I'd heard before, but what was I going to do? Cut him off? It was a rap. There was some serious attitude in it. It wasn't too bad... until of course Santa gets shot with an AK47. Really. He shot Santa. He never says anything and on the day I'm being evaluated he decides it's a good idea vocalize a desire to whack Santa. At the time, I probably didn't respond in the best way... All I could think of to say was, "Well, you're not getting presents this year". My AT told me afterward that I really need to censor that kind of thing. I tried... I didn't realize the little rotter had written a second chorus until it was too late. Although, now that I think of it, it is strange that his group would choose him to read...

The "funny ha-ha" moment of the day is when a group decided to have Mrs Claus dancing, drinking and duggying at a club. When I asked them why they chose that particular alliteration, the one group member  threw down a dance beat using the "d" sound and explained that it was to enhance Mrs Claus' clubbing experience.

In spite of the unexpected homicide, all was well. I have to work on a couple of things (no surprise there either) and I apparently say "okay" a lot. My advisor made a check mark on my evaluation sheet every time I said "okay". There were about fifty/sixty check marks. According to her this is the kind of thing students will pick up on and make fun of me for. If that's all they have on me, I feel lucky. And if they're bored enough to be making check marks of what I'm saying, obviously I'm not doing my job very well.

One more week in grades 9 and 11 and then I'll be shipped off to a different school to teach grade 8. According to my evaluator, if I don't work on a few things, they will eat me alive and enjoy it. Sounds like fun to me.

Lauren.

The Day Before... Sort of.

Okay, I'm late. I know. Whatever.

I'm being evaluated tomorrow. I'm really nervous.

I started getting anxious after school today. When I got home, I could feel the anxiety in my chest. I really hate it when it gets there... it's so annoying. To decompress a little, I decided to write a letter. It didn't help that much. I got back to work. Every noise, very movement was an interruption. I realize that's my deal not anyone else's. The anxiety doubled by eight o'clock when I still had next to nothing done. And then my advisor called, reminding me that she'd be at school at 8:30, ready to go. I hung up the phone, anxiety doubled again. I really didn't need the reminder. I know it's a courtesy thing, but really? My evaluation isn't something I'm likely to forget. I've had the date committed to memory for about a month. So with quadruple my initial anxiety, I got back to work. You can imagine the going was pretty slow.

I've just now finished all my prep work. It's one o'clock. If I forgot something, I don't care. I'm too tired and too cold to care. I'm too tired and cold to be anxious anymore.

Sleepy time. Those of you who have extra luck, if you wouldn't mind sharing, I'm more than willing to accept it. Good luck only!

14 Year Old Blew My Mind

I have to say, I had a pretty good day today.

I had a few issues with my English class yesterday. They're a very enthusiastic bunch and it doesn't take much to get them talking. Do I really need to say that the talking was out of control? Well it was. I discovered that it was because of me. Frankly, I'm not surprised. I'm the student teacher, I'm pretty goofy, I'm pretty chill, I engage with the students sometimes when I shouldn't (in that I make a smart aleck remark that just increases the talking). Before I started anything today I had a talk with them about my expectations. I think I even had the line "when I'm up here, I'm your teacher," thrown in there. It went really well. They seem to have responded well to it. Of course I had to enforce my expectations a few times, but it went well. And as a result the class went well. I'll be honest, I was terrified to make that speech. I don't really know why exactly. I'm knew that I wasn't going to be "mean" or anything like that and I wasn't particularly afraid of them "hating me". I guess it's just intimidating to get up in front of thirty 14 year olds to lay down the law. Thankfully they're great kids and they were, of course, wonderful.

Even my religion class, the one I was really nervous about teaching, went well. I got them to discuss. Or maybe it wasn't me... I don't know. I don't care. They were talking and they were on topic. Plus, one kid is so shy, he rarely says anything. He shared his Christmas traditions with the class. I was expecting him to decline when I asked if he'd like to share. I would have accepted that. But he talked!

And on top of all of that, I came home with much less work than yesterday. I only had one lesson to plan. There were only a few handouts to make up. And I had a stack of free verse poems that the grade nines wrote in homework last night. Here's where my jaw hit the floor. I read all the poems once in the staff room. I was pretty impressed. There were some really amazing poems in there. And not just by high school standards. I got home and I took more time going over them, leaving comments and suggestions. There was one poem in particular, it blew my mind. I can't write poetry like that and I've been writing for a decade. Granted, poetry isn't one of my strengths, but to be fourteen and write like that... I mean, how much writing experience could this kid really have? Mind blown. Beyond amazed. She'd kick my ass ten times over in a poetry competition. It's even more amazing if you consider that I gave them no class time, very little instruction and one day to write it.

So yeah. That's my eloquent conclusion. This is what a good day looks like for a student teacher. At least for this one.

Lauren.

Math is Finally Entertaining!

I have made it to Thursday! I'm going to live! At least for another week!

I shouldn't celebrate yet... I still have to perform these lessons... And yes, I do mean perform because among the trillion other things teachers are, we're actors/entertainers as well. I wanted a job with variety. I found one. Even with all this new acting training, I still haven't mastered the art of keeping a straight face or not laughing at the super inappropriate-but-still-funny comments students make.

For instance, my AT was helping one of the students with a math problem. They're currently working on calculating the area of circles. The problem she was working on was asking her to calculate the area of the bit in the center of four circles. The red part.

Ignore the square in there... Anyway, my AT drew the red part on the chalkboard first. Then she filled in the two top circles. Instantly, one of the other students shouts out: ha! She added the bottom circles only to be congratulated with a second: ha! She bravely continued explaining the problem, tapping the center of each circle with her chalk at which we were subjected to a third: ha! I'm not talented enough with the tools I presently have to erase the bottom circles, so you'll just have to imagine them away.

When we were discussing this incident later, she admitted that she was trying very hard not to laugh. I was totally gone. I'm wasn't helpful at all. It was at that point in the discussion that I uncovered a secret test, hidden in the math work sheets of local high school students. It is a test that determines whether or not you're straight. Imagine away the bottom two circles. What does it look like? I said boobs. That's where my brain went first. That's not where my AT's brain went.

Yup, today was pick on my AT day. She was also wearing a shirt with a rather unfortunately placed pattern. The shirt itself is very nice. I like the colour. It's a nice dark blue. The unfortunate part is that the shirt is long and the way the pattern (she's going to hate my description of it), a darker blue blob-smudge thing, is placed entices students to ask: "Excuse me Miss, did you have an accident/wet yourself?" Again I was very useful. I burst out laughing and said: "Oh wow, that is unfortunate!" After which I pulled up Photobooth on my computer... yeah... totally helpful.

Hilariously enough, she looked at me and said "I thought you were nice! You're as bad as the students!" I never said I was nice. She assumed it. Usually I am nice, but I'm also a pain in the ass. Those qualities don't always work together in everyone's favour.

Finally! Math class is entertaining!

Lauren.

Enemies: Iron Chef and Meatloaf

I must have been temporarily insane when I decided that teacher's college was a good idea. The insanity clearly hasn't worn off yet, I'm still here, but I have to be crazy right? My workload just exploded. If I make it to Wednesday all will be well. If I go into some sort of panic induced frenzy before then, well, I'm screwed now aren't I?

Speaking of anxiety, what's the worst thing that can happen to someone trying to plan a lesson at 9:30?

Give up?

Iron Chef.

Yeah, I'm serious. My sister was watching Iron Chef in the living room. I was sitting in the dining room. All I could hear was the intense music that makes it sound like no matter what, you're about to fail at something. Then that crazy little Japanese dude started yelling things and I was like WTF? what's he even saying? And from the basement, my parents were watching some war/Christmas movie. There may have been some German yelling. German doesn't sound nice when it's being yelled. So I've got a psychotic Asian yelling at me, some angry Germans snapping and intense music. HOLY CRAP WHAT'S MY DEADLINE! HOW MANY MORE THINGS DO I HAVE TO DO?!

It would have been funny if it wasn't so unpleasant feeling. I moved to my room and the OMG, OMG, I'm-going-to-pass-out-and-throw-up-and-have-a-heart-attack-and-die feeling went away fairly quickly.

Next on the list of enemies?

Meatloaf.

No, not the singer. Him I can ignore. I mean ground beef moulded into a loaf shape. Why do we do that anyway? Grind the beef down just to remould it into a solid mass? Why is that at all appealing? Beside the point. I love meatloaf. It's a love I do not understand. Meatloaf is wonderful alone, it's wonderful in a sandwich, it's wonderful wrapped in bacon or in a delightful sauce. I don't however appreciate the pain in causes me afterward. DAMN YOU HERNIA AND REFLUX! I ran out of Gaviscon! As Cee Lo Green would say: WHY! WHY! I LOVE YOU! I STILL LOVE YOU! That's directed at the Gaviscon and the meatloaf. Bitches both of them. Leaving me in a lurch... and an acid-burny painful one at that.

I kind of went crazy with the caps today. Forgive me. PLEASE? Kidding. I'm over it now.

Lauren.

Whiplash from Randomosity

When you buy books at university, it's always with the following in mind:

1. Can I get away with not buying it?
2. Can I buy it somewhere else cheaper?
3. When am I ever going to use this again?
4. Which to I prefer, soup or KD?

I bought all the books I was required to buy and no more. I often neglected to look elsewhere, much to my detriment. I asked #3 and often the answer was never... but what are you going to do if it's a required text. Thankfully, I wasn't in a situation where I had to ask #4. That may or may not change soon enough.

Sure, a lot of the books I bought went to my sister after I was done with them. We took a lot of the same classes. Others... they sit. And then there are the books I'm glad I bought. Oddly enough, most of them are classical studies books. I majored in English and history in case you needed so perspective.

I can't tell you how many times I pulled out my copy of "Classical Mythology: Images and Insights" by Harris and Platzner. I used it in English, I'm using it now in religion, I've used it for my personal writing. It was one of my most expensive books so I'm quite happy I'm getting so much use out of it. I've given up on putting it away with my other school books. I always go back to get it. I've also cracked open the Iliad more than once after having to read it in its entirety during my first year of university. I wrote a parody of a section of it in creative writing. 

Weird isn't it? Greek mythology was all but forgotten for a couple of hundred years, it boomed for a another few hundred and a few hundred years later, I'm trying to understand all the references people from the 1800s were making. Apparently nothing goes completely out of style. 

I really wish leggings and sweater dresses would go out of style... and stay there. If I have to look at another girl's crack because her sweater dress is actually a sweater being sorely abused, I might have to burn my retinas. And it's not like you can ignore it either. It's just there. Like "Hey, sup, here's my ass crack." While I admire their courage (or determination) in leaving the house essentially bare-assed, I can't begin to comprehend it. Plumbers have more dignity! Plus, we live in the north! It's cold! I would not enjoy feeling a sub-zero breeze on my nether-bits. Yes, my nether-bits!

See how I worked that in there? Random. Had nothing to do with anything but apparently it had to come out. From books to butts in one transition. Keep up if you can. That's the kind of weekend its been. I lounged, I read, I wrote (lesson plans and PowerPoints) and now I'm off to bed. Let week two begin! 

Lauren.

Crap! It's Cold Outside!

Usually, I love winter. I love being able to put on big comfy sweaters and huddle under heavy blankets. I love leaving the mall after Christmas shopping and no matter how cold it is, I feel grateful because the damn mall is just too friggin' hot. I love it when the trees are covered in just enough snow to look beautiful. I find I notice trees more in winter. I notice them for obvious reasons in the fall, but it's somehow different in winter... more... accidental than naturally occurring I suppose.

Either way, there are limits to my love of this season. I hate being cold. As I'm sure most people do. But when I get cold, I stay cold for a long time. I'm like the element on your stove that you just cannot trust. When I'm cold I stay cold regardless of what the temperature might be set at. Except the elements on your stove, presumably, are on the other end of the spectrum.

I was cleaning my room today and I decided that I needed a bit of fresh air, just to air it out a bit. I cracked open my window ever so slightly. For only having snow since Tuesday, it was damn cold out there! Still, I persevered and regretted it. I spent a good hour trying to warm up but eventually gave in to the most obvious solution. I went and had a shower. The problem with showers is that you eventually have to get out. Because lets face it, we work so hard to prevent wrinkles. Why would anyone want to remain in a situation that would guarantee their premature arrival? It took until supper, but by then, I was cold again. Presently, I'm cowering under two extremely thick blankets, in bed, with socks and numerous other layers of clothing. You're relieved, I can tell. I'm relieved. I'm only starting to get warm again.

So you can imagine what kind of day its been. Aside from being a little uncomfortable, it's been perfect. I curled up, I read, I did a few chores, I organized 'Le Binder' again. I don't know what I was thinking the last time I did it but I must have been on drugs... maybe lack of sleep. Either way, it now makes sense. Tomorrow will have to be more productive. On the bright side, I'll probably be able to stay warm a lot easier if I'm moving about.

Lauren.

Week End Review 1/3

Week 1 of 3 has come to a close.

Overall I think the week went rather well. I was really worried about the religion class and that's turned out better than I expected. As for English, I get to teach a week of creative writing. So I'm kind of excited about that. The only thing I'm really worried about is my evaluation. It's next Friday and I'm not too sure what to expect. My cousin was evaluated last session and all he really told me was to do my thing. It's easy for him, he has charm to fall back on. I'm just awkward and eventually when you get to know me, my awkwardness becomes kind of charming. Even then it's more of a curiosity thing... like "oh, what's she going to say next?". I've been assured that I'll be fine. We'll see.

An aside to anyone teaching a small religion class, leave hair out of the discussion. I don't know how we wound up on this topic, but one of the girls came in and declared that one of the boys looked like Astro Boy. After we googled Astro Boy we all kind of agreed and laughed about it. (It resulted in him getting the chocolate out of the advent calender so he was fine with it.)

Next, the class cynic decided to jokingly announce that one girl's roots needed dying. Not to be outdone, Roots jokingly shot back that Cynic's extensions no longer matched her hair colour. Astro Boy wisely stayed out of the discussion while my AT declared Roots' claim to be "fighting words". They sort of got into a Bible fight... apparently not the intended use of the Bible. I threatened to break it up using my own Bible. Roots then began laughing and repeating "the power of Christ compels you!". It was quite funny actually.

I don't want to repeat the comment that Cynic made about Twilight and vampires but it was hysterical. Inappropriate but friggin' funny. I hate that I'm not supposed to laugh at these things. Suffice it to say, it involved vampires being dead, lacking blood and the biology involved in Bella and Edward's wedding night.

The things you hear... they'll never cease to amuse me.

Lauren.

Good News Sandwich and the Busy Bee

I'm tired today and I don't know why exactly. I mean that I'm more tired than usual. Given the late hour, perhaps I'll give you the main points.

I taught the world religion class. I was quite anxious about teaching this particular group. I totally bombed my last lesson with them. And by bombed, I'm talking no redeeming features. While they are all good kids, very well behaved kids, polite kids, they are a difficult group to teach and it's strange going from 30 rowdy, talkative grade nines to 8 (5 today) quiet grade elevens. Still, I'm rather pleased with how things turned out. They didn't seem bored out of their minds. I saw their eyes on more than one occasion. There was even a little bit of discussion going on. And aside from one small miscommunication, I didn't mess anything up! MWAHAHAHA! Tomorrow I'm talking about Beliefs and Christianity. I'm kind of excited!

I also had to race off to the doctor's today. The results of my Upper GI were revealed to me. The good news: I'm not making it up. The bad news: I have a small hernia and reflux! More good news: it's fairly common and provided the pain doesn't get worse and there's no damage to my esophagus, they won't have to operate. She suggested I watch what I eat more carefully, I was given some medication if I'm experiencing a longer period of irritation but otherwise, I can stick to my Gaviscon.

I returned to placement after my appointment and did a bit of prep work. The amount of prep work I got done is the reason I'm still awake.

When I got home, I made the mistake of curling up on the couch with a blanket. I was only going to watch one show to unwind. I swear I was! I ended up falling asleep and waking up about an hour and a half later. So I've been a busy bee since then.

Unfortunately that's all I have to say about today at this moment. Maybe I'll add on later.

Lauren.