I have a new idea for an experiment. I think I'm going to go back to my high school, find my grade 10 math teacher (oddly enough, she's married to my grade 8 math teacher) and tell her that I'm teaching math.
My hypothesis: She will frown in confusion, smirk in amusement, ask if I'm serious and upon confirmation of that fact, burst into an uncontrolled fit of laughter. Once the laughter is under control, she may ask how it's going.
I don't even want to know what my final math teacher would say. We had a mutual agreement to thoroughly dislike one another. I went back for my observation placement two years ago and the first words he said to me were "What are you doing here?" He's not a very pleasant man. Maybe he overheard how I wanted to throw him out the window but decided that that was a stupid plan considering his weight, the width of the window and the window's height from the ground. I never would have been able to lift him... he never would have fit through the window. Now there's some practical math! And I imagine I would probably have to push on his butt pretty hard to get it through the window should I actually manage to accomplish the first two steps of the Out the Window Plot. That would just be awkward and gross for everyone.
My hypothesis for him: He would laugh in my face, make some snide remark, laugh some more and waddle away. Yes. Waddle.
I spent yet another night delving into the magical world of math. Lessons thus far have been... interesting. Today I got to say "Okay, forget everything I just told you. I made a mistake. THIS is how you're supposed to do it." Nothing inspires confidence more than when a teacher has to do a lesson twice because she messed up. But tonight, I actually did the kids' worksheet. It's trigonometry, the one subject I never managed to even remotely understand. This is seriously my nightmare come to life. I don't know how, but I managed to get all the answers right. If only that could have happened on a test in grade 11. I'm not sure why you have to cross multiply. I'm not sure why you set up the measures in fraction form. But the process works.
I emailed my AT asking for help. Hopefully that happens before I have to teach tomorrow. If not, it will be another day of fake it 'til you make it.
All of that, pales in comparison to the awesomeness I stumbled upon while researching videos for my religion lesson on the beatitudes. Yes, I'm incorporating Inspector Gadget in religion. That's just how I roll. But look! He plays the flute and beatboxes at the same time!
You have to admit, that's a weird but nifty talent. I wouldn't want to sit in front of him though. I imagine there would be a lot of spit flying around.
High point of today? A student raised her hand and asked "Miss, what are hormones?" During religion of all things. I answered that hormones are chemicals generated by various parts of your body that regulate things like your menstrual period--. She stopped me after 'menstrual period' and seemed rather disgusted with me. I think she was hoping to embarrass me? So, bringing up your period to shut down a conversation also works on fourteen year old girls. Keep it in mind teachers. It might come in handy.
Lauren.
0 comments:
Post a Comment