Power to the Students!

I realized something today. Kids are powerful. Some of them know it, other's don't, but they wield a mighty power. Those who realize that adults will do just about anything to make them behave, hold us in the palm of their hand... waiting for the right moment to crush us. If you're wondering where I'm going with this upbeat description of today's rosy cheeked youths, I have to tell you, it's a scary place. It's a place of psychological warfare and I have no clue who comes out victorious.

My first battle occurred this morning sometime after 11:00 hours. My AT was again teaching the grade 2-3 class. One of the kids forgot his shoes and so couldn't participate in the gym lesson. He was adamant that he wouldn't set foot in the gym if he was the only one not having fun. I can't really blame him for that. So he didn't. He sat out in the hall, with me supervising him for most of the class. When it was time to go back to their classroom to get their lunches, he decided that he didn't want to eat or hang out with his classmates. He barricaded himself in his locker and refused to come out. Like an idiot, I sat on the floor outside his locker and talked to him about Family Guy, The Simpsons and his imaginary pet minotaur-devil-mouse named Scratchy who just happened to be red. He was particularly happy when I told him that I probably looked like a crazy person talking to a locker. It soon became clear that as long as I was willing to indulge his behaviour, he'd be willing to hold up in his locker. So, I made a show of giving up and I left. About two seconds later he was walking down the hall toward me with his lunch. Of course, my AT then spoke to him about his behaviour, he got angry and threw his lunch on the floor. I'm unsure who won this battle.

My second battle occurred closer to 14:00 hours. I was back in the grade eight class attempting to teach a geography lesson. The class is chatty... one kid in particular. I wound up, for whatever reason, telling him to shut up... while speaking in a British accent. So you know, my British accent is awful. I admit it's awful. British people around the world, if you all felt some unexplained twitch around 2:00 today, that was my fault. Naturally, the kids thought it was hilarious. They asked me to conduct the remainder of the lesson in the British accent. I really didn't want to, but I struck a bargain. I told them that so long as they were attentive, didn't make random noises (because they do that) and worked diligently, that I would conduct the remainder of the lesson in a really crappy British accent. They agreed. So for the next fifteen minutes or so, I was the worst Englishwoman on the planet. But they paid attention. Or at least they were quiet so the kids who pay attention anyway could pay attention. Before they let me return to my regular Canadian accent, one of the three Harry Potter nerds requested (read: told me to) that I say "Turn to page 394". It took me a minute, I was confused, but I eventually recognized it as a line from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, spoken by Alan Rickman. I figured I couldn't do any more damage, so I acquiesced her request. Who won that battle? Again, I'm unsure. And just to be clear, we were not studying werewolves.



As you can see, children have powers. That or they've realized I'm pretty goofy and that I'll do quite a few stupid, goofy things without giving it too much thought and they're exploiting me. I'm surprised my AT didn't say anything about the accent... maybe she's gotten to a point of "don't ask don't tell", ignorance is bliss, plausible deniability. A lot of people seem to go there after meeting me... In case you haven't figured it out, I enjoy children largely because they not only allow you to be silly, they encourage you to be silly. It's another of their special powers.

Lauren.