I... did not have a good day.
It was one of those days where the students couldn't give a crap about learning (more so than usual), where my lacklustre management skills came to light, where I had a grading issue with one student, where I was being blamed for losing another student's work, where I got called "uncool" because the students aren't working and I'm finally putting my foot down, where I nearly get into an argument with my AT (God bless my self-control) and on my way home, nearly cause a car accident.
You know how I always say that it's never anything major that comes to disrupt my life? It's always something minor that's simply annoying. But then the little annoying things build up and put together, form larger annoying things.
I honestly don't care that I was called uncool. I've been called that all my life and I really have no intention of being friends with my students now or after my placement. I was annoyed with a student harassing me over one lost mark. Just one mark. Everything else was perfect. Seriously, you have ten other assignments. Stop bugging me and go work on those. As for the kid who said I lost his paper, well, I looked through all my things. I knew it wasn't at home. I had to sit through a lecture from my AT on how she's devised a system that prevents work from being lost. I could not remember him handing it in. Finally at the end of the day, I asked him to look in his desk just to make sure. Surprise. There's the assignment. I now know what my first question will be if I'm ever faced with this dilemma again.
The argument with my AT... I'm truly surprised that didn't happen. Last Friday I heard a lot of "That's retarded" and "That's gay". Both bother me because students are saying them without knowing what it is they are actually saying. So I brought it up and I told the students that it was unacceptable to use a part of someone's identity as an insult. I said that whether you're gay or "retarded" you can't help being who you are and that no one has a right to make you feel bad for being yourself. I was less eloquent.
When I was alone with my AT, she decided that my little talk was inappropriate and could land me in a lot of crap with parents. She asked me what the Bible's take on gays is. I'm in a Catholic school, I get it, and I told her. But God was it hard not to also tell her that Jesus advocated understanding, kindness, respect and compassion, not judgement. She told me that parents would come back with things like "You told my kid he has to be nice to gays?" Firstly, that's not what I said. I approached it from a respect angle and it was not a conversation about being gay. It was a conversation about language and being respectful of others. I wouldn't tolerate a kid shouting out "nigger" either, I just haven't had to have that conversation. Secondly, I was very tempted to respond that "Your kid should be nice to everyone without question". She went on about how my words could be twisted. Her spiel concluded with being able to take more liberties at the secondary level and if I'm going to talk about gays, to not use the word gay. I should be indirect about it.
And we wonder why gay kids kill themselves and why homosexuality is still an issue in 2012. Really? We actually wonder about that?
I kept my mouth shut. I'm unsure how, but I did.
On days when nothing feels like it's going right, (today) I like to eat. Unhealthy? Yes. Does it work? Also yes. I was driving to the grocery store, entirely focused on buying ice cream. I went to change lanes and a car appeared. I jumped back into my lane, received a shocked, sort of dirty look and continued driving to the grocery store. In the end I got my ice cream. It tasted good.
Add in three more hours of planning lessons and making up worksheets and you've got yourself a kick-ass day.
The sun'll come out, Tomorrow!
Lauren.
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