Shoulda Been Bad

Today had the potential to be horrendous.

After months of waiting, I finally got a letter from one of the grad schools I applied to. Actually, that's a lie. I got an email from the university. I don't know if I should feel offended or not. I mean, I essentially donated 100$ to their school, I waited for them to reject me, I put up with their ridiculously disorganized website... does this not merit the postage? On the one hand, yay for saving a tree. On the other, it would make me feel better to have something in my hand, sent to my house, rather than an impersonal email I had to fish out of my junk folder.

That folder is always cluttered with porn and other scams... I'm lucky I didn't hit select all and delete everything without really looking like I usually do. I get sick of being offered Viagra, penis enlarging medications and random sex with women that are probably not women. Seriously though, when I see ads like "you could be bigger" the only thing I can think is, "well yeah I could be. I'm at zero right now". And when I see "view Stephanie's cam" the first thing I think is, "Stephanie is probably a goat they trained to use a computer". I realize I have issues. The point is, my rejection from grad school was chucked in among all that. AND THEY MADE ME SIFT THROUGH PORN! Now I definitely deserve a written rejection!

The most disturbing part (to me) is that I'm not really bothered. I'm a little more nervous about getting my other letter but other than that... I don't really care. I guess it's because I didn't truly want to go there in the first place? It doesn't really have as much to offer me as the other school does. I don't have family near there. I don't have friends living around there. I've never actually been there.

Still waiting on one school. We'll see what that brings.

How could my day get worse? Well, I had to go to the dentist. I usually like going to the dentist. I restock on floss and toothbrushes, the dental hygienist is really nice, I get compliments on my teeth because they are amazing, and then, I leave feeling all squeaky clean. Today I had a new dental hygienist. New to me anyway. She... certainly meant business. She went to town flossing my teeth. She dragged that floss between my teeth like she was trying to saw a three foot thick tree trunk. I'm surprised I wasn't bleeding all down the front of my shirt. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I was actually in pain. I felt like reminding her that gums are typically skin and not high density, weather treated lumber but decided against it. After all, she's the one in control. I'm the one in the chair. Still, she did good work and the pain went away after about an hour.

Last on my list of Could Have Been Crappy, I got my February report. The one my AT fills out detailing whether or not I'm an Excellent, Proficient, Adequate or Does Not Meet Expectations kind of teacher. She told me that I hadn't done as well as I'm currently doing and to expect my evaluation to reflect that. Nervous? Yes. Particularly after my faculty advisor only just gave me a Proficient last time... possibly out of pity. As it turns out, I'm solidly Proficient now. Yay!

I think she just likes to scare people. Apparently my major faults are: being too casual, being boring and not knowing the material inside out. I can live with that. I'm doing much better with the casual thing. I disagree that I'm boring. I work with what I'm given. And as for knowing the material, I'm usually learning it the night before I teach it and I'm teaching subjects outside my area of comfort. I'm qualified in English and history. I'm presently teaching math, science, geography, religion, gym, art and English.  Unlike many teachers, I do not have 20+ years of experience to rely on. So I think I'm doing a pretty awesome job.

And that was my day. I feel strange classifying it a good day, but it was. On to tomorrow!

Lauren.