Not Enough

Aside from it being the second last Friday before the end of this year, nothing happened. And I'm happy with that. Too much shit has happened this week. A day without anything, good or bad, is perfect. I can't wait for this year to be over.

I was talking to one of my friends tonight and we honestly couldn't figure out why we were so tired, angry, frustrated and just... done. We both have an honours degree, we both participated in extra curricular activities, usually the same ones, our workloads were a little different but still demanding. And then this year comes along. It's one year and it feels like two BAs ganged up and kicked the snot out of me. I knew I would be able to handle the work load. And I have. That's not the hard part. The work itself isn't what you have to worry about. BEd is physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally exhausting. Intellectually you're perfectly safe. Every other part of you is going to suffer.

I knew it would be hard, but I never expected it to be this hard. So, for anyone considering BEd, you will need to be determined, you're going to have to want it badly, you're going to have to be organized to within an inch of your life and be really anal with your time management abilities. You will need a lot of money, you will need to believe in a higher power (be that God, karma or justice) and the cyclical nature of that power. You will have to succeed on your own terms.

I was supposed to be considering taking Additional Qualifications. I was looking into French as a Second Language. Firstly, French is my first language so that annoys me, even if it's Teaching FSL. Then I looked at the dates and times of the course. It ran from 8:30AM to 4:30PM, Monday-Friday for a month. That made up my mind for me. HELL NO!

I'm barely making it through the last two weeks. I'm not doing an extra three. If it becomes a necessity later, I'll take it later. For the sake of my mental health, I am done as of Wednesday 26th at Noon.

I don't know if any of this made sense. That's how tired I am. But BEd. It had its moments, but if I could go back in time and had the choice of doing it over again, I don't think I would. That's just me. I don't want it enough.

Lauren.