- Parents do not like it when their children set boundaries.
- Parents really do not like it when their children call their bluff.
- Parents hate it when their children cut them out of a part of their life.
Lately I've been having problems with my parents. I think it's an old problem that's been recycled into a new form. I'm usually pretty quiet when it comes to arguments. I don't like conflict so I take the road of least resistence. I compromise a lot. Thing is, I've spent the last year doing a lot of things that are outside my comfort zone. I've grown leaps and bounds in terms of self-confidence and confidence in my ability.Yesterday, the issue reared its ugly head and I suppose I reached my breaking point. I didn't say anything then because I know enough to step back and calm down. Tonight was a different story.
I told my parents that certain topics were no longer to be discussed unless I ask for their opinions. That didn't go over well. Not that I really expected it to. Usually I would back down or compromise after hearing the counter argument. I didn't. I reiterated that certain topics pertaining to my life are no longer up for discussion. That really, really, did not go over well. A subtle threat was made... something of an ultimatum and I did not respond the way I usually would. I accepted it and asked if it was a serious ultimatum because I would need time to get some things in order. That really, really, really didn't go over well. My parents haven't spoken to me since then. In fact, as soon as we got home (because I did this in the car after picking one of my parents up from work) they left again simply saying "I don't know" when I asked them where they were going or if they'd be back for supper.
I don't regret doing it. I think it had to be done and I didn't do it in a malicious way. I was calm but firm (my first AT should be pleased to know I've finally discovered how to be firm). Thing is, it still sucks. It sucks because I don't like that they're upset with me, I don't like that they're ignoring me, I don't like that they won't, can't or don't understand my point of view, but mostly I hate that this could all be resolved if they'd sit down and really listen to me, really look at who I am and what I need.
Well, that was uplifting. If you made it through that, I congratulate you and apologize. I needed to vent. Obviously. In terms of good things I discovered, they are more self explanatory.
- Nutella is an awesome flavour for a cheese cake.
- Summer time is the best time to be a teacher.
- I'm braver than I thought I was. (Related to the above, but also to driving. Eat that Roundabout!)
So, that was my day. Little good, little less good, little crappy. In the end though, I think I moved forward. If not, at least I know what's coming next right?