Dumb Moves and Statements of Interest

Boneheaded move:

Putting duvet cover in the wash at the last minute because "you feel like it".

This is a boneheaded move because your duvet cover will inevitably get tangled around one of your sweaters in the dryer. This is problematic because not only will you spend five minutes untangling everything, your duvet (and the sweater) will still be soaked. Therefore, at midnight, you will not have your duvet. It seems obvious but it's not.

Enemy of the year:

Statement of Interest. I wrote one. Took three drafts. I'm writing another and moving into the third draft. I have come to the conclusion that there is no word in the English language (or among the French swears I know) that adequately describe how much I hate writing those five hundred words.

Shouldn't "I'm willing to drop ten thousand dollars for you to teach me for a year," be sufficient to make me interesting? I'm also tempted to fall back on "let me in dammit". For whatever reason, I don't think those statements are what the admissions committee are looking for. I just have a weird feeling. So, back to the drawing board I go. And when I decide to stop procrastinating by drawing cats riding dinosaurs, I will write my statement. Maybe I should open with a joke!


So this guy decides to have his penis replaced with an elephant's trunk...

Hmmm... it's going to be really difficult to get from an elephant trunk penis back to Nazi doctors.

Maybe a story would work better.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lauren. She wanted an MA. She first decided to apply to a writing program. The writing program was housed in a building made of strong immovable bricks. She huffed and she puffed but very little happened. The windows rattled a little and one of the little pigs came out and told her to scram because the rattling windows were really annoying. He then kicked her in the crotch because pigs are rude like that. That's why bacon is so satisfying. In case you didn't know.


Lauren kept walking and came upon another MA program, this one housed in a building made of sticks. She got really excited thinking about all the things she could talk about. So she huffed and she puffed but nothing happened because she hadn't yet submitted her statement of interest. The little pig came out, told her to write a statement and bring it back with three letters of recommendation, a transcript, a writing sample and a copy of Oprah season 25. Lauren left, hoping the second pig wouldn't kick her in the crotch later.

How is this related to what I want to talk about? Obviously the Grimm's brothers wrote fairytales. They were German. Naziism developed out of German fascism. Some doctors practicing in Germany between 1939-1945 were Nazis. There you go. So obvious.

Yeah... I'll keep working on it. And these "programs" were ordered in terms of accomplishing dreams, not in order of interest. I have a profound interest in both history and English.

Maybe a song...

Lauren.