Everybody Pees

I love awkward moments. Don't you? They always make for the greatest stories. Because there truly is nothing better than laughing at someone other than yourself. I've told awkward stories to strangers and come out of it having made a really good friend. If I remember correctly, that was how I became friends with Veronica. It became a ritual to tell her the awkward occurrences of my shifts and we would laugh about them. I'm going to consider those events aberrations.

For whatever reason, many of my awkward moments seem to happen in bathrooms. That's obviously the ultimate stage for awkwardness. I know there are differences in bathroom etiquette between men and women's washrooms, but I can assure you men that among the compliments on/bitching about our clothes, shoes, makeup and hair, there is plenty of room to be awkward.

Like when I was accused of stalking my prof. That happened in a bathroom. Or, when it was declared that I was apparently on the same schedule as another prof. That also happened in a bathroom. Actually, I'm seeing a new pattern as I type this. Awkward moments with profs in bathrooms. Cognitively, I realize that there's no reason to be awkward. As the good book says: everybody poops... or pees as the case may be. I guess it's a social barrier. Even when I'm given permission, I don't call my professors by their first names. I've been friends with some of my professors for years now and I still haven't gotten into the habit of using their first name. There's a kind of... divide there, a respect for authority perhaps. I acknowledge that it's a bit strange, but so am I. That's my excuse.

In any case, I had another episode of meeting a prof in the bathroom today. We were on break. I answered a couple quick emails, I ate a granola bar and decided it would be wise to go to the washroom before class resumed. As I walked down the hall, I ate the last bite of my granola bar. Naturally, that meant that as I entered the bathroom, I was still chewing. My prof was washing her hands and greeted me. My mouth was full. I covered my mouth, said 'hi' and continued to the stall. I had to pee! I wasn't trying to be rude. Anyway, I'm doing my thing when all of a sudden, my prof says: "I read your proposal. We could talk about it after class if you have a couple minutes." My friends and I talk over the stalls all the time but I wasn't aware I'd gotten to that point with my prof. She's been helping me out a lot and I've been seeing her rather frequently... I suppose it was time for that bridge to be crossed. I responded that that would be fine and continued what I'd been doing.

It's not that unusual, but I was caught off guard. Normally when I run into profs in the bathroom the most they'll say to me is "hi Lauren" and walk away quickly. Of course, now I think it's funny. It was funny then too but it's less awkward to be laughing about it now. Because I'm no longer alone in the bathroom. There's nothing creepier than somebody doing their business and laughing for an unknown reason.

And there you have it. Another awkward bathroom occurrence brought to you by me:

Lauren Daily.

(And no, I don't stage these things... believe it or not)