People confuse me. I don't understand how someone can get under your skin and just... reside there... continually, in spite of everything you do to get rid of them. I don't understand how cognitively you can separate yourself from them, but they always, without fail, find some unguarded crack in your logic and weasel their way in. I don't understand how I can seem to move on into new territory only to be knocked back at the slightest hint of hope, likely an imagined hint at that. And I really don't get how something can walk like a duck and quack like a duck without being a damn duck! And why can't we talk about the duck? Or the lost territory? Or the residual infection? Because somehow, in some twisted way, non-ducks, security breaches and infections are all tolerable when faced with the very real possibility of nothingness. And then, just for shits and giggles, you're stuck asking whether or not nothingness would be preferable.
The moral of this cryptic story? People are confusing. We never know what we want. We want what we can't have. We bitch about the thing we initially wanted when we have it. There is the ride completed.
If you followed any of that, do let me know. Better yet, if you have answers, let me know.
Lauren.
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