Alright. I finally finished all my damn marking from placement. I can picture people my classmates looking at me strangely. Well, I had to mark pretty much everything the students touched. I didn't agree with it, but again, I have no power.
The point of evaluation is to collect data to see if kids understand what you're teaching them. As much as it's their grade, it's also a statement on how well they're being taught. Regardless, if you don't have enough data, the marks you have are worthless. Kids have bad days like everyone else. Maybe you caught them on a bad day. There are a ton of factors that could contribute to a poor performance. Likewise, if you have too many evaluations, the data and the marks are equally worthless. Kids get so overwhelmed that they're just doing the work as quickly as possible so they can move on to the next thing. You aren't getting a true picture of what they can do. On top of which, if you mark everything, you're devaluing evaluation for the students. It's tempting to think that they would work harder because they know it's evaluated, but that's really not how it works. If you give a kid a piece of candy every day, they'll be excited about it for about a week if you're lucky, then they won't give a crap. Same thing with evaluation. You'll just be adding to their workload, to their stress levels and diminishing their work ethic (ironically), the quality of their work and just for kicks, their desire to learn.
I don't think people realize what I mean when I say that I evaluated pretty much everything the kids touched. Nor do I think they understand why I wasn't able to finish it while on placement. Well, I counted all the assignments I marked during the six weeks I was out there. I'd marked 27 different assignments. Let's for fun pretend that all the kids handed in their work (which they didn't). But if they had, I would have marked 648 papers. My best guess is that I still marked somewhere in the neighbourhood of 620 papers. And yes, I read every word. If the kids had to write it, I felt it was only fair that I had to read it. Also, by papers, I'm including tests, an essay, handouts of various lengths, writing assignments... so, not always single page stuff.
I cannot wait to bring it all back to the kids. I cannot wait to leave that school without that bin under my arm. On a lighter note, I'm also kind of excited to see the kids again. Kind of hope they have a certain someone ready to pull her hair out. It's not obvious at all where my loyalties lie. I hope the kids I taught knew that about me if they knew nothing else. Actually, I have to say that the highest compliment (I consider it to be the highest compliment anyway) that someone has paid me this year is: "It's obvious you really care about your students". So maybe they did know.
Perhaps I should stage a coup... you know... in my spare time.
Lauren.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Psych Irony
On Fridays I have two classes. I have Senior English (meaning English for grades 11-12) at 8:30 and then I have what was Special Education but is now Psychology of Education at 10:30. Why do you need to know this? Because I'm going to prove to you that life is filled with ironies that aren't funny at the time but are in fact funny looking back.
I left a fairly high stress placement to come back to a pretty high stress week at school. I had an assignment due on the Tuesday and Thursday. On top of that I was working on launching the newest edition of the English department's journal (I'm one of the editors, I'm the web designer and I write for it). I'm also working on writing a proposal to get our Sexuality Awareness and Sensitivity workshop recognized by the school. Because I'm meticulous, it's taking a while. And in addition to all of this, I still have marking from my placement. So, lots going on in the land of Lauren.
Given all of these pressures, my anxiety disorder is acting up. It's actually going haywire and it's amping up the effects my dysthymia. Stab me in the face.
Today in psych, we were doing group work on Individual Education Plans. It got very noisy. I was sitting at the table in the back corner. My back was to the room. I could hear the noise but I couldn't see where it was coming from. I tried focussing on my work. I ended up re-reading the same thing half a dozen times. I felt surrounded by the noise. I couldn't block it out. I started getting uncomfortable, warm. I started feeling antsy and buzzy. Finally my professor called for a break. I waited a few minutes hoping the room would empty a little and I'd have the necessary quiet to regain some control. That didn't happen. So I stood up and walked out. I walked around the wing, stopped and stared at the geese and ducks on the pond and when I felt I was pushing my luck, returned to my class. Actually, I found two girls working in the hallway outside our class and decided that I would join them. Panic attack averted.
My prof came out to check on us and asked how things were going. She was curious why we were in the hall. The two girls with me told her they just couldn't concentrate. I blurted that I was about to have an anxiety attack. She asked if I was okay (the answer is always no... duh... I'm panicking...). I appreciate the sentiment, but in the moment, that's a really stupid question to ask. Anyway, I just thought it was funny because I was in psych class working on education plans for kids with disorders like mine. Of all places for a mental health disorder to rear its ugly head. We could have taken a moment to study me! Write my IEP... I could probably use one.
Oh TGIF! Are there any four letters that sound better together? I can only think of two other examples...
Lauren.
I left a fairly high stress placement to come back to a pretty high stress week at school. I had an assignment due on the Tuesday and Thursday. On top of that I was working on launching the newest edition of the English department's journal (I'm one of the editors, I'm the web designer and I write for it). I'm also working on writing a proposal to get our Sexuality Awareness and Sensitivity workshop recognized by the school. Because I'm meticulous, it's taking a while. And in addition to all of this, I still have marking from my placement. So, lots going on in the land of Lauren.
Given all of these pressures, my anxiety disorder is acting up. It's actually going haywire and it's amping up the effects my dysthymia. Stab me in the face.
Today in psych, we were doing group work on Individual Education Plans. It got very noisy. I was sitting at the table in the back corner. My back was to the room. I could hear the noise but I couldn't see where it was coming from. I tried focussing on my work. I ended up re-reading the same thing half a dozen times. I felt surrounded by the noise. I couldn't block it out. I started getting uncomfortable, warm. I started feeling antsy and buzzy. Finally my professor called for a break. I waited a few minutes hoping the room would empty a little and I'd have the necessary quiet to regain some control. That didn't happen. So I stood up and walked out. I walked around the wing, stopped and stared at the geese and ducks on the pond and when I felt I was pushing my luck, returned to my class. Actually, I found two girls working in the hallway outside our class and decided that I would join them. Panic attack averted.
My prof came out to check on us and asked how things were going. She was curious why we were in the hall. The two girls with me told her they just couldn't concentrate. I blurted that I was about to have an anxiety attack. She asked if I was okay (the answer is always no... duh... I'm panicking...). I appreciate the sentiment, but in the moment, that's a really stupid question to ask. Anyway, I just thought it was funny because I was in psych class working on education plans for kids with disorders like mine. Of all places for a mental health disorder to rear its ugly head. We could have taken a moment to study me! Write my IEP... I could probably use one.
Oh TGIF! Are there any four letters that sound better together? I can only think of two other examples...
Lauren.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Career Mission
As of tomorrow, I have three weeks left of the BEd. program. Now seems as good a time as any to reflect back on this year. I may have more to add later, but I've come to some realizations and I don't think those will change.
When I was a little girl, I loved school. I've always loved school. My grandmother still tells stories about how she was the bus driver, my sister was the student and I was always the teacher. My grandmother also became a student once she'd finished driving the bus. I was 4 years old. When I was in grade 12 and applying to university, I still wanted to teach and I applied to the faculty of education. All throughout my university career, it remained clear that I was going to be a teacher. I never doubted it. I've always been the person people turn to for help with their homework (except math... they knew better). I've always been the most sought after proofreader. I've always been the one who's notes get photocopied and studied before tests. I've always been the last minute cram session leader, teaching others little tricks to remember materials. And then this year happened.
You'd think that after all that, that teacher's college would seem like a good place to be. Well, I'd have to say no to that. I think this has probably been one of the worst years of my life. I could write a list of all the things I hate about the faculty and about all the rules of teaching. I won't, but it would be very easy. The things about being a teacher that I've enjoyed can be counted on one hand. Yes, they are generally weighted heavier, but there are a few things that weigh more.
I discovered this year that there's no way that I can be happy teaching a regular class. I love the teaching part. I love the kids. But it's taken too much. I had a breakdown yesterday, the first in a long time, and once I'd calmed down, I couldn't believe how long it had taken me to finally lose it. I've been holding back so many thoughts and feelings and ideas this year. I've been reining in parts of myself and acting counter to my nature for nearly a year. I couldn't believe how angry and frustrated I actually was. It's kind of funny now (it wasn't yesterday) but poor Angela was just sitting there watching me ramble, not making any sense. There was so much going on in my head that I wasn't even speaking in logical, let alone complete sentences. Angela might as well have been out of the room for how coherent I was being. I'm pretty sure that any job that reduces me to that (no matter how well I can do it) isn't for me.
So, once that realization occurred, I started crying and freaking out again. Because now of course, the career I'd thought I would have for my entire life is very clearly not a career I can do while maintaining a healthy mental state. I'm now in the land of aptitude tests and questions. I've been speaking to professors and asking them what the hell I can do with my life. I've never not had a plan before. It's scary and also... intriguing. Either way, it always comes down to one question: What do you want to do.
I don't know. I really don't. So that's my mission now. Uncovering potential careers.
Being a grownup sucks.
Lauren.
When I was a little girl, I loved school. I've always loved school. My grandmother still tells stories about how she was the bus driver, my sister was the student and I was always the teacher. My grandmother also became a student once she'd finished driving the bus. I was 4 years old. When I was in grade 12 and applying to university, I still wanted to teach and I applied to the faculty of education. All throughout my university career, it remained clear that I was going to be a teacher. I never doubted it. I've always been the person people turn to for help with their homework (except math... they knew better). I've always been the most sought after proofreader. I've always been the one who's notes get photocopied and studied before tests. I've always been the last minute cram session leader, teaching others little tricks to remember materials. And then this year happened.
You'd think that after all that, that teacher's college would seem like a good place to be. Well, I'd have to say no to that. I think this has probably been one of the worst years of my life. I could write a list of all the things I hate about the faculty and about all the rules of teaching. I won't, but it would be very easy. The things about being a teacher that I've enjoyed can be counted on one hand. Yes, they are generally weighted heavier, but there are a few things that weigh more.
I discovered this year that there's no way that I can be happy teaching a regular class. I love the teaching part. I love the kids. But it's taken too much. I had a breakdown yesterday, the first in a long time, and once I'd calmed down, I couldn't believe how long it had taken me to finally lose it. I've been holding back so many thoughts and feelings and ideas this year. I've been reining in parts of myself and acting counter to my nature for nearly a year. I couldn't believe how angry and frustrated I actually was. It's kind of funny now (it wasn't yesterday) but poor Angela was just sitting there watching me ramble, not making any sense. There was so much going on in my head that I wasn't even speaking in logical, let alone complete sentences. Angela might as well have been out of the room for how coherent I was being. I'm pretty sure that any job that reduces me to that (no matter how well I can do it) isn't for me.
So, once that realization occurred, I started crying and freaking out again. Because now of course, the career I'd thought I would have for my entire life is very clearly not a career I can do while maintaining a healthy mental state. I'm now in the land of aptitude tests and questions. I've been speaking to professors and asking them what the hell I can do with my life. I've never not had a plan before. It's scary and also... intriguing. Either way, it always comes down to one question: What do you want to do.
I don't know. I really don't. So that's my mission now. Uncovering potential careers.
Being a grownup sucks.
Lauren.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Back to the Holocaust
Two years ago, I decided that I wanted to take a Holocaust history class. I don't know why, but I've always had an interest in the Holocaust. In some ways, it feels morbid. How could I be fascinated by something so... indescribably horrible? In other ways, I feel like it's a part of history that should intrigue everyone. How can we claim to be just and civilized and yet allow ourselves to descend so far into hatred? As awful as this sounds, and is, I think in many ways, it was the ultimate human experiment. Put under such extreme circumstances, how long will our morals, ethics and superiority hold up? I find myself being horrified and curious at how an ordinary, generally well-meaning, generally kind person can invert their values and commit actions they may have never considered under different circumstances.
Since then, I haven't really pursued my studies in this area. I've written a few pieces within that time period, but I haven't actively studied, researched, questioned.
Today in my history class, I got to do something I've wanted to do for the last decade. My professor arranged for a Holocaust survivor to visit and speak to our class. Throughout my studies, I've posed a number of questions, most of which I don't think anyone can answer. I guess I thought that the best answer would come from someone who actually experienced the atrocity.
We listened to a brief presentation on some of the factors that led up to the Holocaust. It was very interesting but more of a review for me. One of the people who works for the organization my professor went through did that. We had a quick break and then finally, the room was rearranged and an 86 year old woman sat at the head of the class. She was pretty much what I was expecting. She was small, thin, well dressed. I think what I found most surprising was the amount of... confidence and strength she projected.
She spoke for a little over an hour. She answered a lot of questions that I'd had. I could have listened to her talk for another three or four hours. We got a question period at the very end of class. I still had questions. I know I still had questions. But I couldn't think of a single thing to say. What can you say? What comment could I possibly make that would add to what she'd already so simply explained. What could I ask that could be answered in two minutes or less? Here was this woman, sitting quietly, staring out at us, almost smiling, waiting for questions and I had nothing. What do you ask a person who has survived not just physically, but mentally and spiritually, all the things that should have crushed her? What do you say to someone who has lived through arguably one of history's worst moments and come through it able to speak about it and still be able to smile? Maybe that should have been my question. How can you smile? I can't even begin to imagine how I would pick up the pieces, let alone put them together again in a such a way that I could still look out on the world and find good and happiness.
I suppose I was... humbled. I can never describe this feeling. This feeling of feeling something but not being able to articulate it. It's angry, it's sad, it's admiration, it's awe, it's relief, it's frustration, it's confusion. I never knew what to do with this feeling and apparently, I still don't know.
I guess that feeling is what draws me in and keeps me coming back to this period in history. I like believing that people are good. It mystifies me how good people could act so cruelly to other good people. I've been through some stuff and I find it difficult to trust the people who didn't even wrong me. What would it be like to live through the Holocaust? How do you trust in anything? In anyone? It must be the lack of answers... my lack of understanding. Maybe that's what brings me back.
The weird thing is, I realize that I'm never going to have those answers and somehow, that doesn't bother me in the least. I just want to know...
Morbid? Curious? Little bit of both? I don't know.
Lauren.
Since then, I haven't really pursued my studies in this area. I've written a few pieces within that time period, but I haven't actively studied, researched, questioned.
Today in my history class, I got to do something I've wanted to do for the last decade. My professor arranged for a Holocaust survivor to visit and speak to our class. Throughout my studies, I've posed a number of questions, most of which I don't think anyone can answer. I guess I thought that the best answer would come from someone who actually experienced the atrocity.
We listened to a brief presentation on some of the factors that led up to the Holocaust. It was very interesting but more of a review for me. One of the people who works for the organization my professor went through did that. We had a quick break and then finally, the room was rearranged and an 86 year old woman sat at the head of the class. She was pretty much what I was expecting. She was small, thin, well dressed. I think what I found most surprising was the amount of... confidence and strength she projected.
She spoke for a little over an hour. She answered a lot of questions that I'd had. I could have listened to her talk for another three or four hours. We got a question period at the very end of class. I still had questions. I know I still had questions. But I couldn't think of a single thing to say. What can you say? What comment could I possibly make that would add to what she'd already so simply explained. What could I ask that could be answered in two minutes or less? Here was this woman, sitting quietly, staring out at us, almost smiling, waiting for questions and I had nothing. What do you ask a person who has survived not just physically, but mentally and spiritually, all the things that should have crushed her? What do you say to someone who has lived through arguably one of history's worst moments and come through it able to speak about it and still be able to smile? Maybe that should have been my question. How can you smile? I can't even begin to imagine how I would pick up the pieces, let alone put them together again in a such a way that I could still look out on the world and find good and happiness.
I suppose I was... humbled. I can never describe this feeling. This feeling of feeling something but not being able to articulate it. It's angry, it's sad, it's admiration, it's awe, it's relief, it's frustration, it's confusion. I never knew what to do with this feeling and apparently, I still don't know.
I guess that feeling is what draws me in and keeps me coming back to this period in history. I like believing that people are good. It mystifies me how good people could act so cruelly to other good people. I've been through some stuff and I find it difficult to trust the people who didn't even wrong me. What would it be like to live through the Holocaust? How do you trust in anything? In anyone? It must be the lack of answers... my lack of understanding. Maybe that's what brings me back.
The weird thing is, I realize that I'm never going to have those answers and somehow, that doesn't bother me in the least. I just want to know...
Morbid? Curious? Little bit of both? I don't know.
Lauren.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Poppins Endorsement
Seven weeks ago I experienced a typical Tuesday. I hated it.
Until yesterday, I couldn't remember why I hated Tuesday so much.
Today, I was reminded.
Being at school from 8:30 until 6:30 is just... mean. I did get a fair bit done though. I'm sure the silver lining would be shinier if I weren't so darn tired. I'm going to go to bed. Polish my silver lining while I'm busy! I want it shinier! Does that sound dirty or is that me being tired again?
I can however tell anyone out there that after a long-ass day of inane blabbering, a really hot bath is magic. If Mary Poppins wasn't too busy dolling out spoonfuls of sugar, she would endorse this. Yes, I have been given permission to speak on behalf of Mary. No, you're probably right not to trust me.
Lauren.
Until yesterday, I couldn't remember why I hated Tuesday so much.
Today, I was reminded.
Being at school from 8:30 until 6:30 is just... mean. I did get a fair bit done though. I'm sure the silver lining would be shinier if I weren't so darn tired. I'm going to go to bed. Polish my silver lining while I'm busy! I want it shinier! Does that sound dirty or is that me being tired again?
I can however tell anyone out there that after a long-ass day of inane blabbering, a really hot bath is magic. If Mary Poppins wasn't too busy dolling out spoonfuls of sugar, she would endorse this. Yes, I have been given permission to speak on behalf of Mary. No, you're probably right not to trust me.
Lauren.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Tarot Says...
I won't talk about what I did today. Not yet. But suffice it to say, it comes with feelings of vindication. So, I feel pretty good about it for a number of reasons, but at the same time, I'd rather not talk about it until the dust settles a bit. Yup, I'm at the centre of yet another dust-up. Amazing how that happens isn't it?
Anyway, something people might not know about me, I have a pretty short attention span unless I'm reading a really good book. Everything else, not so much. My school work is constantly punctuated with email checks, snack breaks, random internet searches, watching of TV. And when I'm watching a movie, I'm usually on the computer writing, or drawing, or playing with the Legos I refuse to give away. I need to keep my hands busy and focussing on one thing for too long tends to leave me feeling agitated. I blame it on the anxiety disorder but who the hell knows why I do what I do.
Today, while working on an assignment that's due tomorrow (yeah, don't like that prof much) I took a break to have an online tarot reading. Again, I don't know why. It just seemed like the thing to do. So I did. Have to say, it was amusing. I was particularly curious about the "love" reading given that I'm just... well I'm awful at relationships. Probably a reason I've never had one. Aside from my eccentricities and pickiness.
Here are my results:
These were my immediate thoughts:
Anyway, something people might not know about me, I have a pretty short attention span unless I'm reading a really good book. Everything else, not so much. My school work is constantly punctuated with email checks, snack breaks, random internet searches, watching of TV. And when I'm watching a movie, I'm usually on the computer writing, or drawing, or playing with the Legos I refuse to give away. I need to keep my hands busy and focussing on one thing for too long tends to leave me feeling agitated. I blame it on the anxiety disorder but who the hell knows why I do what I do.
Today, while working on an assignment that's due tomorrow (yeah, don't like that prof much) I took a break to have an online tarot reading. Again, I don't know why. It just seemed like the thing to do. So I did. Have to say, it was amusing. I was particularly curious about the "love" reading given that I'm just... well I'm awful at relationships. Probably a reason I've never had one. Aside from my eccentricities and pickiness.
Here are my results:
These were my immediate thoughts:
- Love is the Devil. Yes, that seems about right. Or am I to fall in love with the Devil. Holy crap, I'll be Ms. DeVil. I will not wear a puppy fur coat!
- The Hanged Man represents my present. Okay, yeah, I can see that. Does that mean my love life is suicidal? Because that actually explains a lot.
- Friendship and the Hermit. Well, that just seems like an oxymoron to me. Is the Internet insulting me? What the hell! You don't know me! Stop knowing me!
- Ah yes! When I think of sex, I do think of a flaming tower from which the inhabitants must fling themselves from the windows if they have any hope of surviving. I bring new meaning to the forty year old virgin. Or STDs... Is that too phallic for a lesbian? Is it "flaming" because I'm gay? I take offence to that. So many questions. Also, I don't have STDs... WILL I GET AN STD?!
As you can see, I'm highly intelligent. I thought of these interpretations all by myself. Given that I'm not a tarot specialist, I decided I should see the Internet's interpretation. Just to be sure.
I knew it! People don't love me at all! Right now, my deepest emotion is vindication! I was paranoid that this was happening but now I know! I bet the card is talking about Dana... Kidding! She's in psychology... she's at least mildly interested in other people. Wait a minute! Is that why she's interested in being my friend? I am on to you Dana!
So... I'm contemplating life and tripping? By tripping do you mean taking a trip or tripping over things? Because I'm quite good at the latter though I would prefer the former. I suppose I'd have plenty of time to contemplate life from a hospital bed... you know, which I earned after I tripped down a flight of stairs.
Excellent. An excuse to stay away from family. Honestly, sometimes I do feel like jumping out a tower window when I have to talk to some of them. As for relationships, I still don't have one so no worries there!
These are the things I do. Do they make sense? No. Absolutely not.
And that's the kind of day it's been in Laurenland. May the cards be with you.
Lauren.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Outweighing the BS
Back to school for me as of tomorrow. On the bright side, I don't have to plan or be responsible for a whole lot. I just have to sit there, listen and if listening becomes too taxing, pretend to listen. That's what I call release of responsibility. Beyond dreading my return to certain classes, I spent my day doing very little.
I read a bit. Okay, I read a lot. None of it school related. I finished a third of my remaining marking. Again, it was a partially depressing experience. After seeing the crappy results of my science test, I decided that I would go through the test with my students. I had them copy out the answers and study them. I then gave them a five question quiz. The five questions I chose were word for word from their first test. Still had a really high failure rate. Either I suck at teaching science (possible), my test is flawed in some way I haven't yet realized (possible), the kids really don't give a crap (likely) or they just truly do not understand (I'm going to say unlikely due to how many times I've gone through it and given them the opportunity to ask questions). I'm leaning toward the kids don't give a crap. Mainly because they have far more work than I ever did in grade eight and they probably just couldn't manage sitting down to study for a quiz that wouldn't really affect their initial grade. If you're wondering why I gave them an additional quiz knowing what I do, for this particular case, I am going to use the always popular Nazi defence: I was just following orders. And I really didn't enjoy doing it.
The other work they did however I was quite impressed with. I guess this goes to show where my passion lies, but I absolutely love reading their language work. It's creative, it's funny, it screams of personality. I had them writing letters: a friendly letter (to a friend... duh), a letter of complaint and a cover letter for a CV. I gave them a very strict guideline but they still managed to make their letters unique and fun. I've got a couple students living in Harry Potter's house and applying to jobs on Diagon Alley, listing Ollivander as a reference. At least it's not Knockturn Alley... coming from that particular student I would be very afraid. She's cute and innocent looking, but she's got a dark mind under all that. I also have a few students living at Sherlock Holmes' address.
As an example of a complaint letter, I decided to choose something silly. So I wrote a letter to some made up person at Nestle complaining about how encouraging people to eat red Smarties last is encouraging racism and discrimination. One of my students ran with that and wrote about how Pringles cans are too small for adult hands. She claimed that pouring them into a plate or onto a bowl was too much work for the sake of chips. I have to say, it does kind of defeat the purpose of packaging them in a tube. I also got a kid complaining about oatmeal bars and how the apple ones are gross. One girl complained to the superintendent of the board stating that all schools should be equipped with air conditioning to improve students' working environment and work output. Ballsy but that's kind of why I like that student.
See what I mean about the kids? I am honestly and totally amused, entertained, impressed and fascinated by what they can do. Even when they're absolutely insane and annoying the crap out of me, they'll be back to amusing me or impressing me somehow two minutes later. Love kids, hate all the BS that comes with teaching. No idea how, but the kids always manage to outweigh the cons of BS.
Lauren.
I read a bit. Okay, I read a lot. None of it school related. I finished a third of my remaining marking. Again, it was a partially depressing experience. After seeing the crappy results of my science test, I decided that I would go through the test with my students. I had them copy out the answers and study them. I then gave them a five question quiz. The five questions I chose were word for word from their first test. Still had a really high failure rate. Either I suck at teaching science (possible), my test is flawed in some way I haven't yet realized (possible), the kids really don't give a crap (likely) or they just truly do not understand (I'm going to say unlikely due to how many times I've gone through it and given them the opportunity to ask questions). I'm leaning toward the kids don't give a crap. Mainly because they have far more work than I ever did in grade eight and they probably just couldn't manage sitting down to study for a quiz that wouldn't really affect their initial grade. If you're wondering why I gave them an additional quiz knowing what I do, for this particular case, I am going to use the always popular Nazi defence: I was just following orders. And I really didn't enjoy doing it.
The other work they did however I was quite impressed with. I guess this goes to show where my passion lies, but I absolutely love reading their language work. It's creative, it's funny, it screams of personality. I had them writing letters: a friendly letter (to a friend... duh), a letter of complaint and a cover letter for a CV. I gave them a very strict guideline but they still managed to make their letters unique and fun. I've got a couple students living in Harry Potter's house and applying to jobs on Diagon Alley, listing Ollivander as a reference. At least it's not Knockturn Alley... coming from that particular student I would be very afraid. She's cute and innocent looking, but she's got a dark mind under all that. I also have a few students living at Sherlock Holmes' address.
As an example of a complaint letter, I decided to choose something silly. So I wrote a letter to some made up person at Nestle complaining about how encouraging people to eat red Smarties last is encouraging racism and discrimination. One of my students ran with that and wrote about how Pringles cans are too small for adult hands. She claimed that pouring them into a plate or onto a bowl was too much work for the sake of chips. I have to say, it does kind of defeat the purpose of packaging them in a tube. I also got a kid complaining about oatmeal bars and how the apple ones are gross. One girl complained to the superintendent of the board stating that all schools should be equipped with air conditioning to improve students' working environment and work output. Ballsy but that's kind of why I like that student.
See what I mean about the kids? I am honestly and totally amused, entertained, impressed and fascinated by what they can do. Even when they're absolutely insane and annoying the crap out of me, they'll be back to amusing me or impressing me somehow two minutes later. Love kids, hate all the BS that comes with teaching. No idea how, but the kids always manage to outweigh the cons of BS.
Lauren.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Now 23
What's the best way to get resistant people to try something new? Tell them that's what you want to do for your birthday. I got my parents to try sushi. The faces my mom was making were surely part of my gift. She wasn't all that impressed but I think my sister and I managed to win over my dad. He even mastered the chopsticks by the end of the meal.
Right, I guess I should mention, today is my birthday. I'm now numerically 23 and actually 108.
We came home for cake and presents. My sister bought me two new wallets. Though I don't have money to put in them yet, I'm actually really happy about them. My old wallet is kind of falling apart and there's a mysterious stain on it that I can't identify or explain. Quite the timely gift. And because it's my sister (who is a very accomplished shopper) they are stylish and functional without being over the top. She knows me so well. My parents had fun playing "which on has more room for credit cards". Turns out my dad won with the black wallet. It had room for 20 something cards. My parents bought me the Hunger Games box set. My students were recommending it, a few friends recommended it, even a few people I don't like recommended it. So, once I'm done with my current book, I'll be delving into those.
It was a quiet day but nice. No running around, no worrying about classes or anything. Well... I am having an acid reflux issue so there is that to worry about, but overall, nothing significant. I'm glad I enjoyed today. Tomorrow I have to be all productive and getting ready to go back to university on Monday. Upside is, I'm done at 12:30.
Lauren.
Right, I guess I should mention, today is my birthday. I'm now numerically 23 and actually 108.
We came home for cake and presents. My sister bought me two new wallets. Though I don't have money to put in them yet, I'm actually really happy about them. My old wallet is kind of falling apart and there's a mysterious stain on it that I can't identify or explain. Quite the timely gift. And because it's my sister (who is a very accomplished shopper) they are stylish and functional without being over the top. She knows me so well. My parents had fun playing "which on has more room for credit cards". Turns out my dad won with the black wallet. It had room for 20 something cards. My parents bought me the Hunger Games box set. My students were recommending it, a few friends recommended it, even a few people I don't like recommended it. So, once I'm done with my current book, I'll be delving into those.
It was a quiet day but nice. No running around, no worrying about classes or anything. Well... I am having an acid reflux issue so there is that to worry about, but overall, nothing significant. I'm glad I enjoyed today. Tomorrow I have to be all productive and getting ready to go back to university on Monday. Upside is, I'm done at 12:30.
Lauren.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Last Day Musings
My placement is done. Not much of a secret, the last six weeks have not been easy. Looking back though, I can still say it was well worth it. As difficult as it was, I wouldn't change anything.
When the bell rang, I had four students hug me. Three wished me luck. A bunch asked me when I was coming back. A few said they would miss me and my a few more said they'd miss my sarcastic comments and jokes. One caught me as I was leaving school maybe thirty minutes after the bell and shouted ahead to me (in front of his mom) that I didn't have to leave, that he didn't want to go back to his regular teacher and that he appreciated the small things I tried to do for his class.
I don't care what my AT writes in my report. The students gave me the report that actually matters to me.
I think a lot of the problems I had during this placement stem from the vast difference between me and my AT in terms of teaching philosophy. I got really good classes. I'm not going to argue that. There were no serious behaviour issues, all the kids were wicked smart and wonderfully creative. I think a big part of what's lacking in education (from what I've seen) is an acknowledgement that kids know a whole lot more than they're willing to admit. Or that we as adults are willing to admit. I've found that if you show a kid that you respect them as you would an adult and have faith in them, that they respect you in return. And that's where the casual issue comes in. I've been criticized for being too casual, and I am, but I kind of like being that way. With certain classes, I can see where that would blow up in my face. Obviously I would adjust my behaviour to the class. But with the classes I had, I think being casual worked to my advantage. I was with those kids six weeks. That's not very long and they trusted me enough to talk about their lives, to share their hobbies with me, to talk to me about things that were bothering them, to ask me questions. At the same time, I think it showed the students that I'm human, that I make mistakes just like them and that I'm learning, just like them. I guess where I go wrong is by thinking of them more as colleagues than students. But aren't they colleagues? Aren't we all learning together? I know I learned an awful lot from them. I find that by putting myself on their level, I can be more to them and in so doing, be more effective in my job.
To me, you can only be an effective teacher if you know your class. To know your class, you have to put in time, get invested in the kids' lives. To do that, they have to trust you. To get them to trust you in six weeks, well, you have to get on their level.
And I'm by no means saying that I wasn't tough when it was warranted. I pulled kids aside to speak with them. I called kids out in class who weren't paying attention. I can be firm. I just didn't need to be every second of every minute. Besides, it's all in how you approach it. Kids will do anything not to be embarrassed in front of their peers. If you can tell them off without embarrassing them, you're golden. They get it. There's no need to beat it into their heads.
I should probably say as a disclaimer, that most of this is related to my placement.
I guess this makes me a hippy?
When the bell rang, I had four students hug me. Three wished me luck. A bunch asked me when I was coming back. A few said they would miss me and my a few more said they'd miss my sarcastic comments and jokes. One caught me as I was leaving school maybe thirty minutes after the bell and shouted ahead to me (in front of his mom) that I didn't have to leave, that he didn't want to go back to his regular teacher and that he appreciated the small things I tried to do for his class.
I don't care what my AT writes in my report. The students gave me the report that actually matters to me.
I think a lot of the problems I had during this placement stem from the vast difference between me and my AT in terms of teaching philosophy. I got really good classes. I'm not going to argue that. There were no serious behaviour issues, all the kids were wicked smart and wonderfully creative. I think a big part of what's lacking in education (from what I've seen) is an acknowledgement that kids know a whole lot more than they're willing to admit. Or that we as adults are willing to admit. I've found that if you show a kid that you respect them as you would an adult and have faith in them, that they respect you in return. And that's where the casual issue comes in. I've been criticized for being too casual, and I am, but I kind of like being that way. With certain classes, I can see where that would blow up in my face. Obviously I would adjust my behaviour to the class. But with the classes I had, I think being casual worked to my advantage. I was with those kids six weeks. That's not very long and they trusted me enough to talk about their lives, to share their hobbies with me, to talk to me about things that were bothering them, to ask me questions. At the same time, I think it showed the students that I'm human, that I make mistakes just like them and that I'm learning, just like them. I guess where I go wrong is by thinking of them more as colleagues than students. But aren't they colleagues? Aren't we all learning together? I know I learned an awful lot from them. I find that by putting myself on their level, I can be more to them and in so doing, be more effective in my job.
To me, you can only be an effective teacher if you know your class. To know your class, you have to put in time, get invested in the kids' lives. To do that, they have to trust you. To get them to trust you in six weeks, well, you have to get on their level.
And I'm by no means saying that I wasn't tough when it was warranted. I pulled kids aside to speak with them. I called kids out in class who weren't paying attention. I can be firm. I just didn't need to be every second of every minute. Besides, it's all in how you approach it. Kids will do anything not to be embarrassed in front of their peers. If you can tell them off without embarrassing them, you're golden. They get it. There's no need to beat it into their heads.
I should probably say as a disclaimer, that most of this is related to my placement.
I guess this makes me a hippy?
For Good, Bad and Education
For some reason, I'm not sure which reason yet, I thought this week would be smooth sailing, relatively easy, a fun-ish wrapping up of five weeks of hard work. What a laughable notion. This week has been nothing but miserable.
Today it took far too much energy for me to keep my mouth shut. The EA has been telling me that she doesn't know how I'm doing it. How I'm just taking all the crap and not letting it bother me. I didn't have an answer until today. In part two of a speech I won't repeat because it gets me riled up whenever I do, I was told that I don't micromanage enough. That's when it clicked.
I worked for two and a half years under an even more extreme micromanager. Who would have thought that a job that ended so badly (for me) would have trained me for this placement. If my mother was awake, she would tell me that my guardian angel is hard at work as usual. Seriously, that poor guy/girl needs a holiday.
I've gotten used to being in trouble for something every day of this placement. Sometimes it's valid. Other times it's so stupid my eyes glaze over and I count how many times I can scream "shut up" in my head until the talking stops. Being criticized for not micromanaging? Yeah, that's a compliment. I'm not a micromanager nor do I ever want to be. I have better things to do with my energy and my time. I'd rather spend my time looking for interesting resources for my class than hounding and nagging my kids to the point where they hate coming to school. I don't think there's a single positive to being a micromanager. You just succeed in putting everyone on edge and pissing everyone off. Edgy, pissed off people aren't productive.
There were however a few shining moments that made today bearable.
Today it took far too much energy for me to keep my mouth shut. The EA has been telling me that she doesn't know how I'm doing it. How I'm just taking all the crap and not letting it bother me. I didn't have an answer until today. In part two of a speech I won't repeat because it gets me riled up whenever I do, I was told that I don't micromanage enough. That's when it clicked.
I worked for two and a half years under an even more extreme micromanager. Who would have thought that a job that ended so badly (for me) would have trained me for this placement. If my mother was awake, she would tell me that my guardian angel is hard at work as usual. Seriously, that poor guy/girl needs a holiday.
I've gotten used to being in trouble for something every day of this placement. Sometimes it's valid. Other times it's so stupid my eyes glaze over and I count how many times I can scream "shut up" in my head until the talking stops. Being criticized for not micromanaging? Yeah, that's a compliment. I'm not a micromanager nor do I ever want to be. I have better things to do with my energy and my time. I'd rather spend my time looking for interesting resources for my class than hounding and nagging my kids to the point where they hate coming to school. I don't think there's a single positive to being a micromanager. You just succeed in putting everyone on edge and pissing everyone off. Edgy, pissed off people aren't productive.
There were however a few shining moments that made today bearable.
- The kids being upset and disbelieving that tomorrow is my last day. And if I'm being honest, even though I'm miserable, I feel bad leaving them. While my report may say that I'm not a good teacher, I'll know better because of the kids' reactions. Knowing I did my job well is is all I really need to know.
- The EA had a terrible migraine (not the good part) and was high on Advil. She was pretty friggin' funny.
- An extended venting session with my father, mother and cat all sitting on the couch staring at me.
- An Iced Cap and a Maple Shortbread cookie shared with my father while going through the carwash. Yes, we were in a car. We aren't THAT random.
Oddly enough, when I first arrived at this placement, I was told that good or bad, all experiences teach us something. I think it's safe to say that I learned more about myself as a teacher at this placement than the last one. It's not until you can't be yourself that you realize who you actually are. Strange isn't it?
Anyway, one day left. I predict it's going to be difficult at best.
Lauren.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
New Mantra: Two More Days
Here's something I've never done before. I got to meet Young Adult Fiction author Deborah Ellis. She came to the school to do a book talk. I haven't read her books beyond what the kids have, but I may pick up a few. She was a very interesting, intelligent, amazing speaker. Also incredibly down to earth. My AT randomly told me to sit beside her in the gym (somehow not having recognized her as Deborah Ellis) and Deborah Ellis simply turned to me, stuck out her hand and said "Hi, I'm Deb". My hands were really sweaty and gross so naturally, I shook hands with her and replied "I'm Lauren".
I would have loved to be able to speak to her more but... it was not to be. I had work to do and I didn't want to go up and talk to her while the kids were there. She was there for them, not me. Plus, I was suddenly stricken with shyness and couldn't think of a single thing to say to her anyway. The kids spent the rest of the day nagging me and goading me, trying to get me to talk to her about getting published. Truth of the matter is, I don't have anything ready for publishing. Everything that is "ready" is technically submitted to another publishing company. They're sweet though. The kids I mean.
Apart from that, I have to say, kind of a shitty day. The kids were tired, it was hot, no one really felt like working, it was beautiful outside. And I'm pretty sure a couple of the kids were just dead set on pissing me off today. I had one kid being an idiot and playing with the paper slicer thingy. You know, the ones that look like machetes attached to a big metal plate?
He was joking about chopping off his fingers. I told him to stop playing with it. He didn't. I told him to stop acting like a moron, pretty much in those words, got up and shooed him away. He came back and I told him to sit down because he was making me mad. Oddly enough, he did.
After that, I did a lesson and spent a good ten-ish minutes explaining what the kids were to do. Once I finished with my explanation, I asked if everyone understood. Three times. In different ways. Each time I was assured that my instructions were clear. Less than five minutes into their work time, the same kid as always raises his hand and tells me that he doesn't understand "everything". I really hate that answer.
Over the last six weeks, I've come to realize that he's too lazy to read the sheet and think for himself. So he calls me over, tells me he doesn't understand and waits for me to give him answers. Because I'm really that stupid. I usually explain the activity again, but today, I guess I just wasn't in the mood. I told him that I wasn't explaining it again and that if he didn't understand, that he should read the instructions again. Bitchy? Yes. Did he get to work for himself afterward and actually do something. Yes. I know Friday's my last day, but finally, enough of that bullshit.
Two more incidents occurred after that. Due to how angry I still am over what was said and done (in both cases) I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice it to say, I'm not in the wrong.
Two more days. Two more days. Two more days.
Lauren.
I would have loved to be able to speak to her more but... it was not to be. I had work to do and I didn't want to go up and talk to her while the kids were there. She was there for them, not me. Plus, I was suddenly stricken with shyness and couldn't think of a single thing to say to her anyway. The kids spent the rest of the day nagging me and goading me, trying to get me to talk to her about getting published. Truth of the matter is, I don't have anything ready for publishing. Everything that is "ready" is technically submitted to another publishing company. They're sweet though. The kids I mean.
Apart from that, I have to say, kind of a shitty day. The kids were tired, it was hot, no one really felt like working, it was beautiful outside. And I'm pretty sure a couple of the kids were just dead set on pissing me off today. I had one kid being an idiot and playing with the paper slicer thingy. You know, the ones that look like machetes attached to a big metal plate?
After that, I did a lesson and spent a good ten-ish minutes explaining what the kids were to do. Once I finished with my explanation, I asked if everyone understood. Three times. In different ways. Each time I was assured that my instructions were clear. Less than five minutes into their work time, the same kid as always raises his hand and tells me that he doesn't understand "everything". I really hate that answer.
Over the last six weeks, I've come to realize that he's too lazy to read the sheet and think for himself. So he calls me over, tells me he doesn't understand and waits for me to give him answers. Because I'm really that stupid. I usually explain the activity again, but today, I guess I just wasn't in the mood. I told him that I wasn't explaining it again and that if he didn't understand, that he should read the instructions again. Bitchy? Yes. Did he get to work for himself afterward and actually do something. Yes. I know Friday's my last day, but finally, enough of that bullshit.
Two more incidents occurred after that. Due to how angry I still am over what was said and done (in both cases) I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice it to say, I'm not in the wrong.
Two more days. Two more days. Two more days.
Lauren.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Just That Kind of Day
I had a "slam my fingers in the door" kind of good day.
First I forgot my laptop at home. Not only did it have my lesson plans and handouts for my geography lesson on it, I needed it for a make-up activity I was hosting at lunch. I was worried that if I left school to get my computer that I'd be late getting back. I didn't waste much time debating because really, I didn't have much of a choice.
I somehow caught all green lights except for one. I didn't get caught behind any stupid drivers. I didn't even get caught behind a bus. I was amazed. I thought God was on my side.
I got back to school with time to spare. I printed out my lesson plans and handouts. By the time that finished, I still had time to make my copies. I ran upstairs to the copy room, got everything ready and two copies in, the damn machine stops. Out of paper. Not a problem. I know how to fix that. I went over to the table where the paper is kept. Someone had used it up. All of it. All there was left was pink paper. Not that big a deal but certainly not my favourite colour.
I ran back downstairs, punched holes in all my copies (because the copier doesn't punch holes). I finally felt ready to begin my lesson. I quickly went over my language lesson plan since I wrote it yesterday and realized that I'd forgotten to make a transparency. I had time... ran back upstairs, set the copier up and managed to jam it. I had no clue what door to open in order to set things right. Just as I was about to resort to violence as a solution, another teacher walked in. She was able to help me and get me my transparency.
Would you believe that all of this happened before 9:00 AM?
The day didn't get much better. A lot of running around. A lot of classroom management. A lot of me getting into trouble for "stating my opinion" which I didn't and other assorted minor felonies.
I capped off the day by participating in a mildly racist activity. At least, I felt racist doing it. The students are reading a book that takes place in Taliban occupied Afghanistan. The book mentions a lot of the traditional religious clothing women wear in the Middle East. I was asked to draw a cutout of a women and create cutouts of her traditional clothes. I made a cutout of a burqa, a chador, a hijab and a niqab. I didn't really feel right participating in a "let's dress up the strange, foreign, Afghani girl" activity.
I disagree with how Middle Eastern culture and life is being portrayed. It's really bothering me and I'm thanking God (whoever he/she/it may be) that there are no Muslim kids in our class. Or maybe if there were, things wouldn't be so messed up. I don't know. Traditional religious clothing is being represented as a tool to control women. I'm sure that some extremists do use it that way, but I also know that many Muslim women like wearing burqas and chadors and hijab and niqab as part of their religious beliefs. By the same token, I'm sure that in some parts of Afghanistan women are treated poorly, but I don't think it's right to make a blanket generalization. The way it's being taught presently, it almost sounds like women can and should expect to be raped and set on fire every time they turn a corner. I suggested having an actual Muslim come to the class and talk about his/her religion because he/she would be more qualified to explain beliefs and correct misconceptions. I don't know how that suggestion went over.
In an attempt to demonstrate that it's a religious belief and that it's not all the different from Catholic beliefs, I decided that I would also make the cutout woman a pair of pants and a t-shirt. Because of course, the burqa and the chador, from what I understand, are only required to be worn in public. They go over "regular" clothes. It didn't go over quite the way I planned but it made me feel a little better... sort of.
So... today was mostly about biting my tongue, sucking it up and getting through. The EA reminded me that I only have to go on biting my tongue for three more days.
Lauren.
First I forgot my laptop at home. Not only did it have my lesson plans and handouts for my geography lesson on it, I needed it for a make-up activity I was hosting at lunch. I was worried that if I left school to get my computer that I'd be late getting back. I didn't waste much time debating because really, I didn't have much of a choice.
I somehow caught all green lights except for one. I didn't get caught behind any stupid drivers. I didn't even get caught behind a bus. I was amazed. I thought God was on my side.
I got back to school with time to spare. I printed out my lesson plans and handouts. By the time that finished, I still had time to make my copies. I ran upstairs to the copy room, got everything ready and two copies in, the damn machine stops. Out of paper. Not a problem. I know how to fix that. I went over to the table where the paper is kept. Someone had used it up. All of it. All there was left was pink paper. Not that big a deal but certainly not my favourite colour.
I ran back downstairs, punched holes in all my copies (because the copier doesn't punch holes). I finally felt ready to begin my lesson. I quickly went over my language lesson plan since I wrote it yesterday and realized that I'd forgotten to make a transparency. I had time... ran back upstairs, set the copier up and managed to jam it. I had no clue what door to open in order to set things right. Just as I was about to resort to violence as a solution, another teacher walked in. She was able to help me and get me my transparency.
Would you believe that all of this happened before 9:00 AM?
The day didn't get much better. A lot of running around. A lot of classroom management. A lot of me getting into trouble for "stating my opinion" which I didn't and other assorted minor felonies.
I capped off the day by participating in a mildly racist activity. At least, I felt racist doing it. The students are reading a book that takes place in Taliban occupied Afghanistan. The book mentions a lot of the traditional religious clothing women wear in the Middle East. I was asked to draw a cutout of a women and create cutouts of her traditional clothes. I made a cutout of a burqa, a chador, a hijab and a niqab. I didn't really feel right participating in a "let's dress up the strange, foreign, Afghani girl" activity.
I disagree with how Middle Eastern culture and life is being portrayed. It's really bothering me and I'm thanking God (whoever he/she/it may be) that there are no Muslim kids in our class. Or maybe if there were, things wouldn't be so messed up. I don't know. Traditional religious clothing is being represented as a tool to control women. I'm sure that some extremists do use it that way, but I also know that many Muslim women like wearing burqas and chadors and hijab and niqab as part of their religious beliefs. By the same token, I'm sure that in some parts of Afghanistan women are treated poorly, but I don't think it's right to make a blanket generalization. The way it's being taught presently, it almost sounds like women can and should expect to be raped and set on fire every time they turn a corner. I suggested having an actual Muslim come to the class and talk about his/her religion because he/she would be more qualified to explain beliefs and correct misconceptions. I don't know how that suggestion went over.
In an attempt to demonstrate that it's a religious belief and that it's not all the different from Catholic beliefs, I decided that I would also make the cutout woman a pair of pants and a t-shirt. Because of course, the burqa and the chador, from what I understand, are only required to be worn in public. They go over "regular" clothes. It didn't go over quite the way I planned but it made me feel a little better... sort of.
So... today was mostly about biting my tongue, sucking it up and getting through. The EA reminded me that I only have to go on biting my tongue for three more days.
Lauren.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Protect the Lawn!
Last year, we redid our lawn. No, that is not a euphemism. My neighbour decided it would be a brilliant idea to till the soil. Yeah... that idea was in fact brilliant. The chunks of lawn had to be ripped up by hand after that. Following that delightful escapade, he announced that he had acquired some soil for free. Turns out gravel and soil mean the same thing in the mystical language of the imbeciles. Not that we had much faith to begin with, but after that, whatever there was, was shot. Professionals were called.
Finally, the lawn was finished and all was right with the world. Summer faded into fall and fall into winter. With winter came snow, a cold white substance that obscured our view of the grass. Until recently anyway. It's been unseasonably warm here over the last few days. Today it was +22 degrees. I felt the need to add the + sign just so you wouldn't be confused. I find it confusing and I live here. Yesterday, we hit +20 degrees. In other words, no more snow and the lawn reappeared.
With the resurgence of our treasured grass came the resurgence of stupidity. We live on a busy city road. My neighbour put these delightful things along the section of our lawn that touches the sidewalk.
We have four of them lining our front yard, creating an extremely ugly, semi-functional protective barrier for the lawn.
My first reaction was curiosity. Where the hell had those come from. I woke up one morning and looked out the front window to see red reflectors glaring back at me. The reaction that followed was something along the lines of: Either he takes them down or I'll find a more creative place to stick them. My sister was of the same mind, as was my mother. My dad hasn't really expressed an opinion. Of course, he drives a big-ass truck. He can run them over no problem.
I don't really understand their purpose. There's no reason for anyone to walk across our lawn. There's the street, parallel to that is the sidewalk and a few more feet back is our house. There's nowhere to go if you cut across the grass. So what's the point? On top of which, they're sticks. Walk around them and you're still on the grass. My sister's friend did it yesterday and wasn't deterred or electrocuted by the protective barrier. By the same token, the protective barrier doesn't appear to protect our lawn from inanimate garbage either. I found a Timmie's coffee cup right beside the barrier post this morning. If garbage can make it through, none of us are safe!
And when I suggested an electrified fence separating our lawns, everyone thought I was stupid... pft. Who's stupid now? Yeah! My neighbour!
This has been your moment of stupidity. I hope you enjoy the remainder of your day.
Lauren.
Finally, the lawn was finished and all was right with the world. Summer faded into fall and fall into winter. With winter came snow, a cold white substance that obscured our view of the grass. Until recently anyway. It's been unseasonably warm here over the last few days. Today it was +22 degrees. I felt the need to add the + sign just so you wouldn't be confused. I find it confusing and I live here. Yesterday, we hit +20 degrees. In other words, no more snow and the lawn reappeared.
With the resurgence of our treasured grass came the resurgence of stupidity. We live on a busy city road. My neighbour put these delightful things along the section of our lawn that touches the sidewalk.
We have four of them lining our front yard, creating an extremely ugly, semi-functional protective barrier for the lawn.
My first reaction was curiosity. Where the hell had those come from. I woke up one morning and looked out the front window to see red reflectors glaring back at me. The reaction that followed was something along the lines of: Either he takes them down or I'll find a more creative place to stick them. My sister was of the same mind, as was my mother. My dad hasn't really expressed an opinion. Of course, he drives a big-ass truck. He can run them over no problem.
I don't really understand their purpose. There's no reason for anyone to walk across our lawn. There's the street, parallel to that is the sidewalk and a few more feet back is our house. There's nowhere to go if you cut across the grass. So what's the point? On top of which, they're sticks. Walk around them and you're still on the grass. My sister's friend did it yesterday and wasn't deterred or electrocuted by the protective barrier. By the same token, the protective barrier doesn't appear to protect our lawn from inanimate garbage either. I found a Timmie's coffee cup right beside the barrier post this morning. If garbage can make it through, none of us are safe!
And when I suggested an electrified fence separating our lawns, everyone thought I was stupid... pft. Who's stupid now? Yeah! My neighbour!
This has been your moment of stupidity. I hope you enjoy the remainder of your day.
Lauren.
From PJ to Fancy
What will I miss most about March Break? PJ pants. Tomorrow I'm back in my fancy pants and they are not at all loungy. Which means that I will no longer be lounging.
In spite of my best efforts, today was productive. I went through those science tests again. I wasn't just in a bitchy mood. The average was in fact a deserved 44%. On the upside, I didn't have to think up a lesson for science because guess what we're doing? Yeah, I going to go through the test with them and we'll do it all together! You can't tell but I'm clapping my hands (in my mind, otherwise I wouldn't be able to type... duh) like an overly excited cheerleader.
I also managed to finish grading the geography test. I did not think of marking when I wrote that thing. God it took a long time. Note to future self: ALWAYS THINK OF MARKING! Thankfully, the average on that test is at least a passing grade. It was mostly colouring so there would have been hell to pay otherwise.
(Insert "What is wrong with kid's today?!" Rant Here)
I wrote three lessons tonight. One language, on geography and one math. I have no idea what I'll be expected to do tomorrow so I'm prepared. It's going to be a busy week. I only have five days left of this placement. Significant things I have left to do: mark essays. Insignificant things left to do: mark everything I do this week. Perhaps I can... skimp on the handouts this week... probably not. My AT would notice.
Why can't March Break last forever? It's what Jesus would have wanted. Seriously, I'm almost relaxed enough to at least tolerate my neighbour. And I really don't like my neighbour. Imaging what more time would do?
Alas, I must awaken early tomorrow. Bleh. Bleh, bleh, bleh. I'm being mature about this... I'm sure you can tell. To be honest, I'm kind of curious what I'll get in trouble for tomorrow. It's something new every day. Somehow in six weeks I still haven't exhausted my ATs list of student teacher crimes. Wonder how long that thing is...
Lauren.
In spite of my best efforts, today was productive. I went through those science tests again. I wasn't just in a bitchy mood. The average was in fact a deserved 44%. On the upside, I didn't have to think up a lesson for science because guess what we're doing? Yeah, I going to go through the test with them and we'll do it all together! You can't tell but I'm clapping my hands (in my mind, otherwise I wouldn't be able to type... duh) like an overly excited cheerleader.
I also managed to finish grading the geography test. I did not think of marking when I wrote that thing. God it took a long time. Note to future self: ALWAYS THINK OF MARKING! Thankfully, the average on that test is at least a passing grade. It was mostly colouring so there would have been hell to pay otherwise.
(Insert "What is wrong with kid's today?!" Rant Here)
I wrote three lessons tonight. One language, on geography and one math. I have no idea what I'll be expected to do tomorrow so I'm prepared. It's going to be a busy week. I only have five days left of this placement. Significant things I have left to do: mark essays. Insignificant things left to do: mark everything I do this week. Perhaps I can... skimp on the handouts this week... probably not. My AT would notice.
Why can't March Break last forever? It's what Jesus would have wanted. Seriously, I'm almost relaxed enough to at least tolerate my neighbour. And I really don't like my neighbour. Imaging what more time would do?
Alas, I must awaken early tomorrow. Bleh. Bleh, bleh, bleh. I'm being mature about this... I'm sure you can tell. To be honest, I'm kind of curious what I'll get in trouble for tomorrow. It's something new every day. Somehow in six weeks I still haven't exhausted my ATs list of student teacher crimes. Wonder how long that thing is...
Lauren.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
St Patrick's Day
Let me begin with: Happy St Patrick's Day!
Since I don't drink (and that's not actually what St Patrick's day started out being about anyway) I celebrated a little differently than most people.
While I did wear green for a significant portion of the day, I mostly rid my environment of it. I'm talking about cleaning. I don't know why and I don't know where from, but I got the energy and dedication to really clean my room. I do it most weekends but today I dusted. I don't like dusting because it requires me to move my things. I have a lot of things. Particularly books.
I dusted everything. Nightstand, dresser, desk, bookshelf, lamp shade (not an easy feat either) the tops of doors and frames. I got it all! Except the walls... I must reload on Swiffer products and tackle those at a later date. Today was Mr. Clean (the green kind, a happy accident), bucket of water and rag day. I have only one thing to say for myself: It's a freaking wonder I'm still alive. It was all kinds of nasty that I'm ashamed to describe. And I have black furniture! I have no excuse! It's not like it was invisible! Actually, my excuse is the black furniture. I kept telling myself that it was only obvious because it's black. The things I can get away with telling myself when I don't want to do something... Dusting wasn't all that bad... I put a movie on and went to work and I was done just when I was starting to have enough of cleaning. The bookshelf was a pain in the ass though. I had to reorganize everything. Okay... so I like organizing. But! It was annoying to have all my books laid out in piles, completely obscuring my floor.
Other than that, I celebrated today by watching a number of Simpson's episodes dedicated to the occasion. Weirdly enough, my mom watched an episode with me. She claims to hate the Simpson's and Family Guy but whenever she sits long enough, she ends up laughing. She's prejudiced against satire. I think it's wonderful. For instance, the episode I watched today reminded me of my grandmother. See, not all bad. It's a fond memory.
I meant the song... in case you were wondering. She'd sing it to me and my sister when we were younger. She still sings it. It's kind of hilarious because she has a French Canadian accent. Still, one of my favourites. And yes, in spite of being French Canadian, my family originates from Ireland. It's complicated. Also, if it came down to it, she could totally beat the crap out of all those people. She knows tai chi.
Alas, that is all I have to report today.
Happy St Patrick's Day!
Lauren.
Since I don't drink (and that's not actually what St Patrick's day started out being about anyway) I celebrated a little differently than most people.
While I did wear green for a significant portion of the day, I mostly rid my environment of it. I'm talking about cleaning. I don't know why and I don't know where from, but I got the energy and dedication to really clean my room. I do it most weekends but today I dusted. I don't like dusting because it requires me to move my things. I have a lot of things. Particularly books.
I dusted everything. Nightstand, dresser, desk, bookshelf, lamp shade (not an easy feat either) the tops of doors and frames. I got it all! Except the walls... I must reload on Swiffer products and tackle those at a later date. Today was Mr. Clean (the green kind, a happy accident), bucket of water and rag day. I have only one thing to say for myself: It's a freaking wonder I'm still alive. It was all kinds of nasty that I'm ashamed to describe. And I have black furniture! I have no excuse! It's not like it was invisible! Actually, my excuse is the black furniture. I kept telling myself that it was only obvious because it's black. The things I can get away with telling myself when I don't want to do something... Dusting wasn't all that bad... I put a movie on and went to work and I was done just when I was starting to have enough of cleaning. The bookshelf was a pain in the ass though. I had to reorganize everything. Okay... so I like organizing. But! It was annoying to have all my books laid out in piles, completely obscuring my floor.
Other than that, I celebrated today by watching a number of Simpson's episodes dedicated to the occasion. Weirdly enough, my mom watched an episode with me. She claims to hate the Simpson's and Family Guy but whenever she sits long enough, she ends up laughing. She's prejudiced against satire. I think it's wonderful. For instance, the episode I watched today reminded me of my grandmother. See, not all bad. It's a fond memory.
Alas, that is all I have to report today.
Happy St Patrick's Day!
Lauren.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Off Meds Day
Today was... interesting, but not for the reasons that my days are usually "interesting". I forgot to take my medication this morning. I don't need the meds to keep me from being homicidal (a good thing) but forgetting to take them still messes me up. I get all sullen and Bella-Swan-like. So, I prefer to take my medication. I'm also rarely productive on days like this which doesn't help to improve mood.
So, that's what happens when I'm just me without the aid of medication. I don't really like people seeing me off my meds and I don't really like who I am off my meds. It's all too ten-years-ago for my liking. Little things set me off. I get really emotional. Like embarrassingly emotional over insignificant things. For instance, I just got extremely annoyed at my family's inability to choose a movie. And it wasn't the average kind of simply a little irritated. It was the major kind of irritated when you feel pressure building up in your chest and you want to shout out something along the lines of "Just pick a f***ing movie! We've seen them all anyway!"As you can imagine, shouting out that type of thing leads to people being angry with you and they make it so awkward you have to leave the room anyway. So I preemptively left the room. I'm pretty good about isolating myself on these days. Also not helpful for improving mood, but essential in preserving relationships. (It doesn't help that my parents are redoing a couple of rooms and the house is a mess. I have issues with everything being in its place. It helps with my anxiety. Presently, nothing is in its place and I think every room in the house is upside down.)
Mainly I'm hoping that I can just sleep well tonight. I've been having really messed up dreams for the last two weeks. One involved jumping off a cliff into really clear green water while an orange fire-breathing dragon flew after me, trying to kill me with a jet of fire. I think Ginny Weasley was there. I think I might have been dating her, but there was also some weird Percy Jackson thing going on... If you think that's messed up, last night I had some odd dream about being at the university but there was a whole hidden, industrial/futuristic world there that I got trapped in. I was there with a bunch of people and it was clearly evil. I can't get into a lot of detail because I don't remember most of it, but there was a lot of blood and screaming. I'm not disappointed that I don't remember a lot of that nightmare.
I was talking to Jenny about having all these crazy dreams and she came up with anticipation anxiety. Yeah, that fits. Soon enough, by the end of the month, I should know where I stand on most of the currently unresolved points in my life. Then perhaps the crazy dreams will stop. Because those are just the two I remember.
Anyway, I'm going to indulge in a safe pastime (reading) and if all goes according to plan, I'll wake up in a better mood.
Lauren.
So, that's what happens when I'm just me without the aid of medication. I don't really like people seeing me off my meds and I don't really like who I am off my meds. It's all too ten-years-ago for my liking. Little things set me off. I get really emotional. Like embarrassingly emotional over insignificant things. For instance, I just got extremely annoyed at my family's inability to choose a movie. And it wasn't the average kind of simply a little irritated. It was the major kind of irritated when you feel pressure building up in your chest and you want to shout out something along the lines of "Just pick a f***ing movie! We've seen them all anyway!"As you can imagine, shouting out that type of thing leads to people being angry with you and they make it so awkward you have to leave the room anyway. So I preemptively left the room. I'm pretty good about isolating myself on these days. Also not helpful for improving mood, but essential in preserving relationships. (It doesn't help that my parents are redoing a couple of rooms and the house is a mess. I have issues with everything being in its place. It helps with my anxiety. Presently, nothing is in its place and I think every room in the house is upside down.)
Mainly I'm hoping that I can just sleep well tonight. I've been having really messed up dreams for the last two weeks. One involved jumping off a cliff into really clear green water while an orange fire-breathing dragon flew after me, trying to kill me with a jet of fire. I think Ginny Weasley was there. I think I might have been dating her, but there was also some weird Percy Jackson thing going on... If you think that's messed up, last night I had some odd dream about being at the university but there was a whole hidden, industrial/futuristic world there that I got trapped in. I was there with a bunch of people and it was clearly evil. I can't get into a lot of detail because I don't remember most of it, but there was a lot of blood and screaming. I'm not disappointed that I don't remember a lot of that nightmare.
I was talking to Jenny about having all these crazy dreams and she came up with anticipation anxiety. Yeah, that fits. Soon enough, by the end of the month, I should know where I stand on most of the currently unresolved points in my life. Then perhaps the crazy dreams will stop. Because those are just the two I remember.
Anyway, I'm going to indulge in a safe pastime (reading) and if all goes according to plan, I'll wake up in a better mood.
Lauren.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Porn Scenarios
I now present you with my teacher's dilemma. I finished grading that science test and the last half did much better than the first. So now I'm going through all of them again to see if I was just in a pissy mood yesterday. I don't think I was... I was discouraged by the time I quit, but that shouldn't make me want to grade my students low. That shall be for tomorrow.
I went out for supper with Jenny today! YAY! I really appreciate any time I can spend with adults these days. And if those adults are my friends, well that like a double bonus. If that adult is my friend and likes to swear, now that is fantastic to me. I always feel like a hypocrite telling kids to watch their language when I'm internally swearing my head off while trying to remember where I put my damn chalk down. Actually, when I'm done BEd, I think I'm going to do something along these lines:
That'll be nice.
Anyway, I went out with Jenny! On top of having a lovely dinner, I also got to witness her using her blonde powers. It's a real thing, don't question me. She's a cute, confident, little blonde and she's always got guys falling over themselves to help her. Today, it was changing her headlights and putting air in her tire. I just stood there. As I do. I happened to find the whole scenario rather amusing. We both did and were apparently both on the same page because as soon as we were back in her car, she looked at me and said: "And that's how porn movies start".
And it very easily could have deteriorated to a porn-like situation. I'll show you what I mean. In writing. No one wants to see that video.
Scenario A
Jenny walks authoritatively up to the counter. She's wearing a purple dress with buttons. She knows one of the buttons tends to pop open as it did earlier while at dinner with Lauren. When she arrives at the desk, the clerk looks up. Jenny smiles her cute-blonde smile and says: "I need you to take a look at my headlights". He looks down and sees that her button has popped open again. He thinks it's a euphemism. Porn occurs.
Scenario B
Jenny decides that she needs air in her front tire. The one mechanic hands her the pump and gauge. Jenny crouches down in her heels and dress and proceeds to attempt her task. Meanwhile, another mechanic rushes forward, claiming that the pump is broken. He crouches down to help her. The first mechanic is still standing behind her. Porn occurs.
Scenario C
Jenny and Lauren get back into Jenny's car and wait several awkward moments for one of the mechanics to open the garage door. Both fear the threat of porn occurring.
What actually happened:
Jenny approached the counter with her usual confidence and cute-blondness. She was wearing a purple dress with a faulty button. The mechanic agreed to show her how to fix the headlights. He helps change one headlight while Jenny fixed the other. I stood there thinking up porn scenarios apparently. Once that was complete, Jenny realized she forgot to put the cover on behind the bulb. The mechanic laughs good-naturedly and replaces the cover for her. Jenny decided she needed more air in her tire. We were in the presence of the right equipment so why not? She's handed the pump and gauge. Another mechanic rushes over to help her. And yes, she was wearing heels and a dress and crouching. The first mechanic watched them work. Jenny and Lauren get back in the car, hoping the garage door will open before the porn music starts. It does, and they drive away laughing. Lauren contemplated locking the doors just to be safe.
I went out for supper with Jenny today! YAY! I really appreciate any time I can spend with adults these days. And if those adults are my friends, well that like a double bonus. If that adult is my friend and likes to swear, now that is fantastic to me. I always feel like a hypocrite telling kids to watch their language when I'm internally swearing my head off while trying to remember where I put my damn chalk down. Actually, when I'm done BEd, I think I'm going to do something along these lines:
That'll be nice.
Anyway, I went out with Jenny! On top of having a lovely dinner, I also got to witness her using her blonde powers. It's a real thing, don't question me. She's a cute, confident, little blonde and she's always got guys falling over themselves to help her. Today, it was changing her headlights and putting air in her tire. I just stood there. As I do. I happened to find the whole scenario rather amusing. We both did and were apparently both on the same page because as soon as we were back in her car, she looked at me and said: "And that's how porn movies start".
And it very easily could have deteriorated to a porn-like situation. I'll show you what I mean. In writing. No one wants to see that video.
Scenario A
Jenny walks authoritatively up to the counter. She's wearing a purple dress with buttons. She knows one of the buttons tends to pop open as it did earlier while at dinner with Lauren. When she arrives at the desk, the clerk looks up. Jenny smiles her cute-blonde smile and says: "I need you to take a look at my headlights". He looks down and sees that her button has popped open again. He thinks it's a euphemism. Porn occurs.
Scenario B
Jenny decides that she needs air in her front tire. The one mechanic hands her the pump and gauge. Jenny crouches down in her heels and dress and proceeds to attempt her task. Meanwhile, another mechanic rushes forward, claiming that the pump is broken. He crouches down to help her. The first mechanic is still standing behind her. Porn occurs.
Scenario C
Jenny and Lauren get back into Jenny's car and wait several awkward moments for one of the mechanics to open the garage door. Both fear the threat of porn occurring.
What actually happened:
Jenny approached the counter with her usual confidence and cute-blondness. She was wearing a purple dress with a faulty button. The mechanic agreed to show her how to fix the headlights. He helps change one headlight while Jenny fixed the other. I stood there thinking up porn scenarios apparently. Once that was complete, Jenny realized she forgot to put the cover on behind the bulb. The mechanic laughs good-naturedly and replaces the cover for her. Jenny decided she needed more air in her tire. We were in the presence of the right equipment so why not? She's handed the pump and gauge. Another mechanic rushes over to help her. And yes, she was wearing heels and a dress and crouching. The first mechanic watched them work. Jenny and Lauren get back in the car, hoping the garage door will open before the porn music starts. It does, and they drive away laughing. Lauren contemplated locking the doors just to be safe.
I love hanging out with people my age!
Lauren.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
When to Use KMN
I'm in Marking Land today. I decided that I could no longer procrastinate. What I discovered was that I was right to procrastinate.
I marked a lot of what essentially amounts to busy work, and wasn't all that surprised by the results. They were what I was expecting. I moved through those activities relatively quickly. Once I finished those, I got to the assignments that were actually significant. I have a geography test, a science test and an essay left to mark. Because I was tired, I decided to tackle the science test first. That one has definite answers.
Yeah. It's called quitting while you're ahead for a reason. I'm over halfway through the class and the highest grade so far is 78%. The next highest is 69%. By the way, that represents two kids, not several kids with those grades. Just two. I think the average right now is hovering somewhere around 42%. And that's a high estimate. Depressing to grade but also... baffling.
I'm not trying to be that teacher that comes up with the really hard test just to fail everyone. Do I get credit for doing it by accident? I got the material straight from my notes, meaning from what I taught, meaning from their notes. I gave them a cheat sheet on which I practically gave them the test. They had two days to finish it and ask me questions. Most of them did it on their lunch hour before the test. And I was there! They could have asked me questions!
The more I look at that test, the more I'm convinced that they should have been able to handle it. It's not an easy test, but I don't think it's as difficult as their results are indicating. This leaves me with one conclusion. They don't take me seriously which really isn't going to pay off for them. My sister thinks my conclusion is the most likely. I'm a little upset by that but really, I'm only there six weeks. That's not a whole lot of time to get to know me and get to know what I expect. Guess they'll find out Monday.
On the bright side! I solved the mystery of the missing science sheet! It's been bugging me since Friday. Basically, this girl who always hands in her work seemingly hadn't handed in her work. I asked her about it and we both spent Friday turning things upside down to find it. I knew she wasn't lying. Finally, when I got to grading, I saw that one kid had written two assignments. One he did not do well on, the other he did extremely well on. Well... WTF? I have a hard time getting one assignment from him, let alone two. Curious. I got the bright idea to pull out one of the girl's other assignments to compare the handwriting. Yes, I am that CSI about these things. My microscope remained in the basement, but the results were pretty clear. After a quick fingerprint and DNA analysis to confirm, I was positive. My little overachiever had written his name on her sheet.
It could be an honest mistake... I'm not entirely sure how, but I'm willing to give him the chance to explain himself. I had to sit through my AT's "This is what happens when you bring assignments home" speech three times. He will explain himself.
And that's the kind of day it's been in Marking Land. In the words of Big Bang Theory's most clever writers: KMN.
Lauren.
I marked a lot of what essentially amounts to busy work, and wasn't all that surprised by the results. They were what I was expecting. I moved through those activities relatively quickly. Once I finished those, I got to the assignments that were actually significant. I have a geography test, a science test and an essay left to mark. Because I was tired, I decided to tackle the science test first. That one has definite answers.
Yeah. It's called quitting while you're ahead for a reason. I'm over halfway through the class and the highest grade so far is 78%. The next highest is 69%. By the way, that represents two kids, not several kids with those grades. Just two. I think the average right now is hovering somewhere around 42%. And that's a high estimate. Depressing to grade but also... baffling.
I'm not trying to be that teacher that comes up with the really hard test just to fail everyone. Do I get credit for doing it by accident? I got the material straight from my notes, meaning from what I taught, meaning from their notes. I gave them a cheat sheet on which I practically gave them the test. They had two days to finish it and ask me questions. Most of them did it on their lunch hour before the test. And I was there! They could have asked me questions!
The more I look at that test, the more I'm convinced that they should have been able to handle it. It's not an easy test, but I don't think it's as difficult as their results are indicating. This leaves me with one conclusion. They don't take me seriously which really isn't going to pay off for them. My sister thinks my conclusion is the most likely. I'm a little upset by that but really, I'm only there six weeks. That's not a whole lot of time to get to know me and get to know what I expect. Guess they'll find out Monday.
On the bright side! I solved the mystery of the missing science sheet! It's been bugging me since Friday. Basically, this girl who always hands in her work seemingly hadn't handed in her work. I asked her about it and we both spent Friday turning things upside down to find it. I knew she wasn't lying. Finally, when I got to grading, I saw that one kid had written two assignments. One he did not do well on, the other he did extremely well on. Well... WTF? I have a hard time getting one assignment from him, let alone two. Curious. I got the bright idea to pull out one of the girl's other assignments to compare the handwriting. Yes, I am that CSI about these things. My microscope remained in the basement, but the results were pretty clear. After a quick fingerprint and DNA analysis to confirm, I was positive. My little overachiever had written his name on her sheet.
It could be an honest mistake... I'm not entirely sure how, but I'm willing to give him the chance to explain himself. I had to sit through my AT's "This is what happens when you bring assignments home" speech three times. He will explain himself.
And that's the kind of day it's been in Marking Land. In the words of Big Bang Theory's most clever writers: KMN.
Lauren.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Not Drunk
A very productive day.
Finished the PDF of the journal.
Finished my marking schemes.
Got some work done on the next issue of the journal.
Finally finished my laundry.
I even managed to watch a couple of movies.
Take that busy March Break. I take a chunk out of you! Unfortunately, that bite leaves me with little to report. Seriously, I have no idea how I could make what I did today interesting.
OH! I know!
Imagine me doing all of that stuff, while riding a llama and wearing a bowler hat. You know what? If we're imagining things, imagine me playing a game of llama polo in which everyone has to wear a bowler hat. Not water polo. That would be animal cruelty. And even if I didn't have the llama, I don't think I'd want to play water polo. I've watched it during the Olympics. I've decided that I'd rather not drown for the sake of a game. They're rough! Although, I'm also respectfully afraid of horses (not llamas) so... I think I'll just cast aside the idea of polo altogether. We just weren't meant to be. But at least I tried. And I still have my llama.
Oh! I just had another thought. How did polo develop? Did it come from crocket? Did some drunk guy say, "I bet you can't hit that ball while riding on a horse!" His drunk buddy then responds: "Get me a longer handle!" Was polo really just the result of an early version of Jackass?
Anyone follow that? I have no idea where it came from. Before you ask, I'm completely sober. Scary isn't it?
On that note, I'm off to read my book.
Lauren.
Finished the PDF of the journal.
Finished my marking schemes.
Got some work done on the next issue of the journal.
Finally finished my laundry.
I even managed to watch a couple of movies.
Take that busy March Break. I take a chunk out of you! Unfortunately, that bite leaves me with little to report. Seriously, I have no idea how I could make what I did today interesting.
OH! I know!
Imagine me doing all of that stuff, while riding a llama and wearing a bowler hat. You know what? If we're imagining things, imagine me playing a game of llama polo in which everyone has to wear a bowler hat. Not water polo. That would be animal cruelty. And even if I didn't have the llama, I don't think I'd want to play water polo. I've watched it during the Olympics. I've decided that I'd rather not drown for the sake of a game. They're rough! Although, I'm also respectfully afraid of horses (not llamas) so... I think I'll just cast aside the idea of polo altogether. We just weren't meant to be. But at least I tried. And I still have my llama.
 |
| Doesn't look fun to me... Who knows though. Maybe White Cap is trying to be helpful. And failing... |
Oh! I just had another thought. How did polo develop? Did it come from crocket? Did some drunk guy say, "I bet you can't hit that ball while riding on a horse!" His drunk buddy then responds: "Get me a longer handle!" Was polo really just the result of an early version of Jackass?
Anyone follow that? I have no idea where it came from. Before you ask, I'm completely sober. Scary isn't it?
On that note, I'm off to read my book.
Lauren.
Shoulda Been Bad
Today had the potential to be horrendous.
After months of waiting, I finally got a letter from one of the grad schools I applied to. Actually, that's a lie. I got an email from the university. I don't know if I should feel offended or not. I mean, I essentially donated 100$ to their school, I waited for them to reject me, I put up with their ridiculously disorganized website... does this not merit the postage? On the one hand, yay for saving a tree. On the other, it would make me feel better to have something in my hand, sent to my house, rather than an impersonal email I had to fish out of my junk folder.
That folder is always cluttered with porn and other scams... I'm lucky I didn't hit select all and delete everything without really looking like I usually do. I get sick of being offered Viagra, penis enlarging medications and random sex with women that are probably not women. Seriously though, when I see ads like "you could be bigger" the only thing I can think is, "well yeah I could be. I'm at zero right now". And when I see "view Stephanie's cam" the first thing I think is, "Stephanie is probably a goat they trained to use a computer". I realize I have issues. The point is, my rejection from grad school was chucked in among all that. AND THEY MADE ME SIFT THROUGH PORN! Now I definitely deserve a written rejection!
The most disturbing part (to me) is that I'm not really bothered. I'm a little more nervous about getting my other letter but other than that... I don't really care. I guess it's because I didn't truly want to go there in the first place? It doesn't really have as much to offer me as the other school does. I don't have family near there. I don't have friends living around there. I've never actually been there.
Still waiting on one school. We'll see what that brings.
How could my day get worse? Well, I had to go to the dentist. I usually like going to the dentist. I restock on floss and toothbrushes, the dental hygienist is really nice, I get compliments on my teeth because they are amazing, and then, I leave feeling all squeaky clean. Today I had a new dental hygienist. New to me anyway. She... certainly meant business. She went to town flossing my teeth. She dragged that floss between my teeth like she was trying to saw a three foot thick tree trunk. I'm surprised I wasn't bleeding all down the front of my shirt. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I was actually in pain. I felt like reminding her that gums are typically skin and not high density, weather treated lumber but decided against it. After all, she's the one in control. I'm the one in the chair. Still, she did good work and the pain went away after about an hour.
Last on my list of Could Have Been Crappy, I got my February report. The one my AT fills out detailing whether or not I'm an Excellent, Proficient, Adequate or Does Not Meet Expectations kind of teacher. She told me that I hadn't done as well as I'm currently doing and to expect my evaluation to reflect that. Nervous? Yes. Particularly after my faculty advisor only just gave me a Proficient last time... possibly out of pity. As it turns out, I'm solidly Proficient now. Yay!
I think she just likes to scare people. Apparently my major faults are: being too casual, being boring and not knowing the material inside out. I can live with that. I'm doing much better with the casual thing. I disagree that I'm boring. I work with what I'm given. And as for knowing the material, I'm usually learning it the night before I teach it and I'm teaching subjects outside my area of comfort. I'm qualified in English and history. I'm presently teaching math, science, geography, religion, gym, art and English. Unlike many teachers, I do not have 20+ years of experience to rely on. So I think I'm doing a pretty awesome job.
And that was my day. I feel strange classifying it a good day, but it was. On to tomorrow!
Lauren.
After months of waiting, I finally got a letter from one of the grad schools I applied to. Actually, that's a lie. I got an email from the university. I don't know if I should feel offended or not. I mean, I essentially donated 100$ to their school, I waited for them to reject me, I put up with their ridiculously disorganized website... does this not merit the postage? On the one hand, yay for saving a tree. On the other, it would make me feel better to have something in my hand, sent to my house, rather than an impersonal email I had to fish out of my junk folder.
That folder is always cluttered with porn and other scams... I'm lucky I didn't hit select all and delete everything without really looking like I usually do. I get sick of being offered Viagra, penis enlarging medications and random sex with women that are probably not women. Seriously though, when I see ads like "you could be bigger" the only thing I can think is, "well yeah I could be. I'm at zero right now". And when I see "view Stephanie's cam" the first thing I think is, "Stephanie is probably a goat they trained to use a computer". I realize I have issues. The point is, my rejection from grad school was chucked in among all that. AND THEY MADE ME SIFT THROUGH PORN! Now I definitely deserve a written rejection!
The most disturbing part (to me) is that I'm not really bothered. I'm a little more nervous about getting my other letter but other than that... I don't really care. I guess it's because I didn't truly want to go there in the first place? It doesn't really have as much to offer me as the other school does. I don't have family near there. I don't have friends living around there. I've never actually been there.
Still waiting on one school. We'll see what that brings.
How could my day get worse? Well, I had to go to the dentist. I usually like going to the dentist. I restock on floss and toothbrushes, the dental hygienist is really nice, I get compliments on my teeth because they are amazing, and then, I leave feeling all squeaky clean. Today I had a new dental hygienist. New to me anyway. She... certainly meant business. She went to town flossing my teeth. She dragged that floss between my teeth like she was trying to saw a three foot thick tree trunk. I'm surprised I wasn't bleeding all down the front of my shirt. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I was actually in pain. I felt like reminding her that gums are typically skin and not high density, weather treated lumber but decided against it. After all, she's the one in control. I'm the one in the chair. Still, she did good work and the pain went away after about an hour.
Last on my list of Could Have Been Crappy, I got my February report. The one my AT fills out detailing whether or not I'm an Excellent, Proficient, Adequate or Does Not Meet Expectations kind of teacher. She told me that I hadn't done as well as I'm currently doing and to expect my evaluation to reflect that. Nervous? Yes. Particularly after my faculty advisor only just gave me a Proficient last time... possibly out of pity. As it turns out, I'm solidly Proficient now. Yay!
I think she just likes to scare people. Apparently my major faults are: being too casual, being boring and not knowing the material inside out. I can live with that. I'm doing much better with the casual thing. I disagree that I'm boring. I work with what I'm given. And as for knowing the material, I'm usually learning it the night before I teach it and I'm teaching subjects outside my area of comfort. I'm qualified in English and history. I'm presently teaching math, science, geography, religion, gym, art and English. Unlike many teachers, I do not have 20+ years of experience to rely on. So I think I'm doing a pretty awesome job.
And that was my day. I feel strange classifying it a good day, but it was. On to tomorrow!
Lauren.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Of Sass, Marking and PDFs
I'm hatching a new plan. I should not be launching a plan because of all the other plans I'm currently planning, but new plans keep my mind occupied. A busy mind is a mind that doesn't focus on anxiety and depression! That's what I always say! Usually in my head. Saying it out loud just makes people uncomfortable. Who knew?
These are the things I need to do this week:
These are the things I need to do this week:
- Marking. I don't understand why students bitch about doing assignments. They only have to do them once. I have to read them twenty five times. Not to mention that I have to write the assignment sheets and complete them as well.
- Get second issue of online journal ready to be published. Honestly, when I sit down to do it, it shouldn't take me that long. I just have to make a PDF of the first issue, make a few design changes for the second, take all the old stuff down, then, hopefully, put all the new stuff up. Easy peasy.
- Work on seminar proposal. Yup. In two weeks my friend and I want to present our Dean with a proposal to make our "Sexuality Awareness and Sensitivity Seminar" (for lack of a better name) official. Student teachers will do anything for certificates. It's almost sad really.
- Prep lessons for Monday back.
- Go to the dentist.
- Dinner with Jenny. (Not an obligation but a pleasure.)
- Read The Help
- New Project. It must remain a secret for now.
Is is possible to do this much in seven days? I'm leaning toward no. Does that mean I'm not going to try anyway? Also a no. Ha! I just realized our seminar name spells SASS. I suppose if there's one thing I've got in spades it's sass. Maybe we could keep that name...
Bring on the stress and ice tea! I've got nothing but time! At least for this week.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is how you deal with stress.
Lauren.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Plans Worth Hatching
I can't write a whole lot today. It was the beginning of break and I accomplished three of the four goals I usually set for when I'm on break.
- I started a new book. I've had it on my shelf for a while now and I've finally opened it. My book for the week will be Kathryn Stockett's "The Help". I saw the movie and loved it. When I saw that it was a book, I decided that if I liked the movie, the book must be phenomenal. Thus far I have not been disappointed.
- I slept. I slept in, I lounged, I was entirely unproductive and I loved every minute.
- I wrote. I write every day. And I'm not just talking about my blog or things for school. I usually do a bit of creative writing as well, even if it's only 100 words here or there. Today I got to write a more significant chunk. I enjoyed that too.
As you can see, I do not have lofty goals. I'm very much a simple pleasures kind of girl. I was determined to do whatever I wanted today because I won't be so free throughout the week. I have a lot of grading to do and a lot of work to do on the journal I work for. In between all that, I want to pretend I have a life by hanging out with a few friends that are still hanging around town.
Still, I think I'll accomplish my fourth goal tomorrow. Goal number four is baking. This year I find that I don't have the time or energy to bake. Which is annoying to me because it's excellent stress relief. My parents however are thrilled as are their waistlines. The only reason my mother has temporarily changed her tune is that there are bananas going funky on the counter and that means one thing: banana bread.
Holy crap... I'll also get to watch my Sunday shows (The Good Wife and Once Upon a Time) guilt free. Nice!
The reasons I've listed also happen to be reasons I need to either make a ton of money from writing a book or marry rich. As far as I know, there is no job on the face of the earth that will enable me to do these things for pay. Or... I could do both... Now that's a plan worth hatching!
Lauren.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Crappy Beginning, Awesome End
So, I was wrong. This week turned out to be incredibly stressful with today being the worst day. I got to run after students all day, asking for work, filling a bin with work that I have to mark and chasing students down. I realize I said that twice. It was a vicious cycle.
I had three students accuse me of losing their work. For the most part, I think they didn't hand it in and I'm a convenient target. The one girl however, she always hands her work in, she gets good grades and I have a feeling she'd be a terrible liar. That being said, I looked everywhere. She looked everywhere. The assignment was not found. It's bugging the crap out of me. As for the other two, I'm positive the one is lying to my face. Annoyed. The other, well, I believed him up until he accused me of losing another of his assignments.
My afternoon was filled with excuses (none about dogs eating homework. Now it's "my printer wouldn't work" or "it didn't save and I had to restart"), checkmarks and enough papers to rebuild a tree.
And that brings me to my point. You know that feeling where you get exactly what you needed but you didn't really know it was what you needed? When I got home today, all I wanted to do was eat, curl up with a blanket and a movie and go to sleep. But I was invited to a pizza making party thing with a few friends. Reluctantly, I dragged my ass out to the car. I wasn't reluctant because of the people or the cold. I was just tired and I was doubting my ability to be good company. I finally got there and just being with friends boosted my mood. By the time we were making our pizzas and laughing and then eating together, I felt so much better. My stress was totally gone. My shoulder, my back, nothing hurt except my face from laughing. I knew I needed to get out, but I didn't know I needed it that badly.
I also have a weird occurrence to relate to you. As I was walking to my friend's building, I noticed a little brown bird huddled near the front door. I was pretty close to him but he wasn't moving. I got a little closer to see if he was injured. He turned his head a bit, looked at me, then turned back. I was less than a foot away from him. I went inside and told the person at the front desk that there was a bird huddled at the door. We both made for the door, but as soon as she opened it, the little bird hopped about three feet away. We assumed if he was able to move that quickly that he was fine. She closed the door and the bird hopped back. One of my friends was next to arrive. As she walked toward the door, the little bird hopped away. He only returned when she was safely inside. Why didn't he freak out and take off when I came up to him? It's weird. Do I perhaps resemble the woman who's apparently been known to feed him? I don't know. I think it's pretty strange. Maybe it's my whole animals and babies love me magnetism.
Either way, crappy beginning, awesome end. That was my day.
Lauren.
I had three students accuse me of losing their work. For the most part, I think they didn't hand it in and I'm a convenient target. The one girl however, she always hands her work in, she gets good grades and I have a feeling she'd be a terrible liar. That being said, I looked everywhere. She looked everywhere. The assignment was not found. It's bugging the crap out of me. As for the other two, I'm positive the one is lying to my face. Annoyed. The other, well, I believed him up until he accused me of losing another of his assignments.
My afternoon was filled with excuses (none about dogs eating homework. Now it's "my printer wouldn't work" or "it didn't save and I had to restart"), checkmarks and enough papers to rebuild a tree.
And that brings me to my point. You know that feeling where you get exactly what you needed but you didn't really know it was what you needed? When I got home today, all I wanted to do was eat, curl up with a blanket and a movie and go to sleep. But I was invited to a pizza making party thing with a few friends. Reluctantly, I dragged my ass out to the car. I wasn't reluctant because of the people or the cold. I was just tired and I was doubting my ability to be good company. I finally got there and just being with friends boosted my mood. By the time we were making our pizzas and laughing and then eating together, I felt so much better. My stress was totally gone. My shoulder, my back, nothing hurt except my face from laughing. I knew I needed to get out, but I didn't know I needed it that badly.
I also have a weird occurrence to relate to you. As I was walking to my friend's building, I noticed a little brown bird huddled near the front door. I was pretty close to him but he wasn't moving. I got a little closer to see if he was injured. He turned his head a bit, looked at me, then turned back. I was less than a foot away from him. I went inside and told the person at the front desk that there was a bird huddled at the door. We both made for the door, but as soon as she opened it, the little bird hopped about three feet away. We assumed if he was able to move that quickly that he was fine. She closed the door and the bird hopped back. One of my friends was next to arrive. As she walked toward the door, the little bird hopped away. He only returned when she was safely inside. Why didn't he freak out and take off when I came up to him? It's weird. Do I perhaps resemble the woman who's apparently been known to feed him? I don't know. I think it's pretty strange. Maybe it's my whole animals and babies love me magnetism.
Either way, crappy beginning, awesome end. That was my day.
Lauren.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
N,X,T All Equal Sanity
I've been teaching math lately. To begin this post, I just want to write out a quick problem.
Solve "x".
Children+March Break+shortened day+hormones= x
Oh alright... x= INSANITY!
Namely mine.
Here's a fun equation:
6(7n+3)=t
n= the number of marbles Lauren loses daily
t= the number of marbles Lauren has lost in total
Not a math person by the way.
By the end of today I was ready to just sit in a corner and rock soothingly back and forth. I've never been closer to an Arnold Schwartzenegger in Kindergarten Cop moment in my life. Fortunately (or not) I realized that would be completely pointless. I should be clear, today wasn't a bad day, but if I hear "Miss Daily" whined one more time... Here's a new power for kids. They have the power to make you not only hate your own name but dread hearing it. Kids should be used to annoy criminals into submission.
As is to be expected, the kids are all excited for March Break. And they should be. Here's the thing, my well of patience is very nearly dry. I understand being excited, but I seriously wanted to duct tape a kid to his chair today. And not a wussy job of taping either. I'm talking taping his hands together behind his back, taping his torso to his chair and then taping his legs to the legs of the chair. Then, just to make sure, I think I'd tape the chair to the floor and at least one other surface. If I wasn't watching him, he was getting into trouble.
Aside from a very tiring day, I discovered why my back hurts, I was complimented for handling an incident of teenaged stupidity well, my AT stood up for me in the face of student dissent, I thought I made a mistake but I didn't and I proved that angry Lauren is in fact an effective classroom manager. So my day was also productive.
Alas, I'm super tired.
Bedtime now... blogging later.
Lauren.
Solve "x".
Children+March Break+shortened day+hormones= x
Oh alright... x= INSANITY!
Namely mine.
Here's a fun equation:
6(7n+3)=t
n= the number of marbles Lauren loses daily
t= the number of marbles Lauren has lost in total
Not a math person by the way.
By the end of today I was ready to just sit in a corner and rock soothingly back and forth. I've never been closer to an Arnold Schwartzenegger in Kindergarten Cop moment in my life. Fortunately (or not) I realized that would be completely pointless. I should be clear, today wasn't a bad day, but if I hear "Miss Daily" whined one more time... Here's a new power for kids. They have the power to make you not only hate your own name but dread hearing it. Kids should be used to annoy criminals into submission.
As is to be expected, the kids are all excited for March Break. And they should be. Here's the thing, my well of patience is very nearly dry. I understand being excited, but I seriously wanted to duct tape a kid to his chair today. And not a wussy job of taping either. I'm talking taping his hands together behind his back, taping his torso to his chair and then taping his legs to the legs of the chair. Then, just to make sure, I think I'd tape the chair to the floor and at least one other surface. If I wasn't watching him, he was getting into trouble.
Aside from a very tiring day, I discovered why my back hurts, I was complimented for handling an incident of teenaged stupidity well, my AT stood up for me in the face of student dissent, I thought I made a mistake but I didn't and I proved that angry Lauren is in fact an effective classroom manager. So my day was also productive.
Alas, I'm super tired.
Bedtime now... blogging later.
Lauren.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Long, Long Day and Experiments
I can't even begin to describe how nuts my day was.
I taught English, Math, had the students writing a test in geography and science and then, I had an impromptu gym period. By the time I left school at 4:20, I had no idea where the time went but I definitely knew it was bedtime.
Since then, I've written three lessons and two handouts. I've watched clips from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mythbusters and entire episodes of The Magic School Bus. I've also listened to Meeko snoring but that's irrelevant.
Slowly but surely I am falling apart. My back is killing me (reason unknown), my shoulder is killing me (we suspect tension) and by the end of today, my feet were killing me (from running around all day).
If ever there was a day to turn in early, it's today.
If my day sounds awful, it actually wasn't. My classes went really well. And I found my students' reactions to my tests rather amusing. I gave them tests where they actually had to demonstrate their knowledge by doing something. It wasn't just multiple choice or short answer which is what they expect and are used to. I don't know, I think they're too focused getting the right answer instead of focusing on how to get there and actually understanding the process. So I messed with them a little. But I also tried to make it a fun activity so it wasn't totally overwhelming. Other than that, I took four kids to the gym today. Gym is used as a reward for work completed (I don't particularly agree with that policy but I'm just a student teacher). Since we were so few, I joined in on the games. I taught them how to play a free throw game. Somehow I won. Later, I had them playing hockey. And after that, we played a frisbee game which I also won. It's great that they participated, but the point is that I won. I have no idea how that happened.
Oh, and in line with my post from yesterday, a kid was messing around with the grasshopper tank. One of the grasshoppers escaped. The kid managed to trap him under a cup but was at a loss how to get the grasshopper back in his tank. The girl next to the cup was demanding that he get rid of the grasshopper. He told her he didn't know how. Enter me, the ever fabulous Miss Daily. I slipped a piece of paper under the cup and dumped the grasshopper into Sammy's tank. This method apparently makes me "pro". Pro Insecticide? It makes me laugh what impresses kids these days.
Did I just sound 80 years old? God I feel it right now.
Lauren.
I taught English, Math, had the students writing a test in geography and science and then, I had an impromptu gym period. By the time I left school at 4:20, I had no idea where the time went but I definitely knew it was bedtime.
Since then, I've written three lessons and two handouts. I've watched clips from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mythbusters and entire episodes of The Magic School Bus. I've also listened to Meeko snoring but that's irrelevant.
Slowly but surely I am falling apart. My back is killing me (reason unknown), my shoulder is killing me (we suspect tension) and by the end of today, my feet were killing me (from running around all day).
If ever there was a day to turn in early, it's today.
If my day sounds awful, it actually wasn't. My classes went really well. And I found my students' reactions to my tests rather amusing. I gave them tests where they actually had to demonstrate their knowledge by doing something. It wasn't just multiple choice or short answer which is what they expect and are used to. I don't know, I think they're too focused getting the right answer instead of focusing on how to get there and actually understanding the process. So I messed with them a little. But I also tried to make it a fun activity so it wasn't totally overwhelming. Other than that, I took four kids to the gym today. Gym is used as a reward for work completed (I don't particularly agree with that policy but I'm just a student teacher). Since we were so few, I joined in on the games. I taught them how to play a free throw game. Somehow I won. Later, I had them playing hockey. And after that, we played a frisbee game which I also won. It's great that they participated, but the point is that I won. I have no idea how that happened.
Oh, and in line with my post from yesterday, a kid was messing around with the grasshopper tank. One of the grasshoppers escaped. The kid managed to trap him under a cup but was at a loss how to get the grasshopper back in his tank. The girl next to the cup was demanding that he get rid of the grasshopper. He told her he didn't know how. Enter me, the ever fabulous Miss Daily. I slipped a piece of paper under the cup and dumped the grasshopper into Sammy's tank. This method apparently makes me "pro". Pro Insecticide? It makes me laugh what impresses kids these days.
Did I just sound 80 years old? God I feel it right now.
Lauren.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Literal Grasshopper in a Cup.
On my first day of placement, I said the following:
"The grasshoppers weren't an immediate issue, but the longer I sit here, the more I happen to look over, the grosser I find them. I don't know what it is... maybe it's the twisting of their fine, little legs as they move about and crawl over each other. Yup, that's definitely part of it. Still doesn't compare to a rearing maggot though. The fact that they're lizard food kind of makes it better. So long as I'm not the one that has to pick them out."
This is of course, regarding my neighbour, Sammy the lizard and his food.
Well, Sammy is still my neighbour. So are the grasshoppers. So are the fish. Here's where my story differs from February 6th.
My class was up in music, then home ec or shop. My AT doesn't teach those subjects, meaning that I don't have to teach those subjects, meaning that my class was empty. My AT had disappeared to the office and the EA was off taking care of another student. I was getting tests ready for tomorrow when another EA walked in with a kid. He was probably about six. Like most kids, he made a beeline for Sammy.
He started talking about how cool Sammy was and how he had a pet snake at home. The EA was asking him all kinds of questions and keeping him entertained. We were all at the same counter, about two feet apart. Eventually, because conversation had gone to "what do you feed your snake?" I suggested (stupidly) that maybe the kid would like to feed Sammy. We'd just gotten 50 new grasshoppers and they were all anxious to die. As expected, the kid's eyes lit up and he agreed that he would like to feed the class lizard.
I got him the little tank of grasshoppers and the little cups the kids trap the doomed souls in. He tried once or twice before proclaiming that someone else would have to get the grasshopper for him. The EA looked at me like "I'm not doing it. This is your deal sister." I looked at the kid who was waiting for one of us to man up and then I looked at the grasshoppers and thought, "Damn kids and their puppy dog eyes!". I took the lid off the container, took the cup and fished around for about a minute trying to trap a grasshopper. Meanwhile, I had forty of the little suckers crawling and jumping around my hand. Somehow, I didn't think of that.
I finally managed to catch a grasshopper. I put my hand over the little cup to ensure he stayed in there. I must have gotten a really dumb grasshopper because he didn't even jump up against my hand. That or I got the resigned, suicidal grasshopper... Either way, I passed the cup to the kid, he put his hand over it and once I removed the lid from Sammy's cage, he chucked in the grasshopper. Sammy didn't see him. We waited. And then all of a sudden, Sammy whips around and lunges. He lunged again. We all stared at him wondering if he'd actually gotten the grasshopper because we hadn't seen him chew it or make any other eating-like motions. Until he started licking his lizardy lips. After all that, we missed the damn lizard eating the damn grasshopper.
This is what I mean about kids having powers. I didn't even think about doing it. I've stared at and been grossed out by those grasshoppers for five weeks. I've vowed not to stick my hand in that filthy box. One kid comes around and I do it without thinking. I do it like I actually know what I'm doing. Which I definitely don't. Just to get a kid to smile. He did look happy and entertained... God I'm a sucker.
Eany, meany, miney, moe, catch a grasshopper in a cup.
Just to be clear, not this kind of grasshopper,
This kind.
That's my new experience of the day. Woo?
Lauren.
"The grasshoppers weren't an immediate issue, but the longer I sit here, the more I happen to look over, the grosser I find them. I don't know what it is... maybe it's the twisting of their fine, little legs as they move about and crawl over each other. Yup, that's definitely part of it. Still doesn't compare to a rearing maggot though. The fact that they're lizard food kind of makes it better. So long as I'm not the one that has to pick them out."
This is of course, regarding my neighbour, Sammy the lizard and his food.
Well, Sammy is still my neighbour. So are the grasshoppers. So are the fish. Here's where my story differs from February 6th.
My class was up in music, then home ec or shop. My AT doesn't teach those subjects, meaning that I don't have to teach those subjects, meaning that my class was empty. My AT had disappeared to the office and the EA was off taking care of another student. I was getting tests ready for tomorrow when another EA walked in with a kid. He was probably about six. Like most kids, he made a beeline for Sammy.
He started talking about how cool Sammy was and how he had a pet snake at home. The EA was asking him all kinds of questions and keeping him entertained. We were all at the same counter, about two feet apart. Eventually, because conversation had gone to "what do you feed your snake?" I suggested (stupidly) that maybe the kid would like to feed Sammy. We'd just gotten 50 new grasshoppers and they were all anxious to die. As expected, the kid's eyes lit up and he agreed that he would like to feed the class lizard.
I got him the little tank of grasshoppers and the little cups the kids trap the doomed souls in. He tried once or twice before proclaiming that someone else would have to get the grasshopper for him. The EA looked at me like "I'm not doing it. This is your deal sister." I looked at the kid who was waiting for one of us to man up and then I looked at the grasshoppers and thought, "Damn kids and their puppy dog eyes!". I took the lid off the container, took the cup and fished around for about a minute trying to trap a grasshopper. Meanwhile, I had forty of the little suckers crawling and jumping around my hand. Somehow, I didn't think of that.
I finally managed to catch a grasshopper. I put my hand over the little cup to ensure he stayed in there. I must have gotten a really dumb grasshopper because he didn't even jump up against my hand. That or I got the resigned, suicidal grasshopper... Either way, I passed the cup to the kid, he put his hand over it and once I removed the lid from Sammy's cage, he chucked in the grasshopper. Sammy didn't see him. We waited. And then all of a sudden, Sammy whips around and lunges. He lunged again. We all stared at him wondering if he'd actually gotten the grasshopper because we hadn't seen him chew it or make any other eating-like motions. Until he started licking his lizardy lips. After all that, we missed the damn lizard eating the damn grasshopper.
This is what I mean about kids having powers. I didn't even think about doing it. I've stared at and been grossed out by those grasshoppers for five weeks. I've vowed not to stick my hand in that filthy box. One kid comes around and I do it without thinking. I do it like I actually know what I'm doing. Which I definitely don't. Just to get a kid to smile. He did look happy and entertained... God I'm a sucker.
Eany, meany, miney, moe, catch a grasshopper in a cup.
Just to be clear, not this kind of grasshopper,
This kind.
That's my new experience of the day. Woo?
Lauren.
Monday, March 5, 2012
A Day Outside
When you live in Northern Ontario, how do you know when it's truly cold outside? Because in winter, it's always cold. The way you know it's freeze-your-ass-off-cold is by looking at the windows in the morning. No, not looking OUT the windows, looking AT them. If there's ice on the inside of the window, it's freeze-your-ass-off-cold.
This was the case when I woke up this morning. I even listened to the radio and trust me, the guys on the radio are goobers, listening to them at all requires strength above the average. It was -33 degrees (Celsius) with the windchill. Needless to say, I wasn't very enthusiastic about snowshoeing and GPSing about the forest with nearly fifty kids. I thought we might postpone the outdoor day until Wednesday when it was supposed to be warmer. Nope. My AT simply proclaimed that kids today are pansies. Okay, she used different words but that was the sentiment.
We travelled about an hour outside of town. I tend to get carsick... We were on a bus... I was starting to get nauseous. Before I could get up to open the window, the kid in front of me threw up. I felt a little better about myself. Thankfully, we got him the garbage can just in time. Oh, and he was fine.
I went snowshoeing for the first time. I was shocked, shocked! to find that I actually really enjoyed it. Once we got into the bush, it was actually quite warm. And with the snowfall we got over the weekend, the trees were beautifully snow-covered, the trails were all soft and we got to see a lot of different animal tracks. I was mildly terrified when I was told that we'd be hiking. The last time I did that... well, my lunch got acquainted with the forest floor. Pretty much the last thing I wanted to do was be seen by my students while I was bent over, emptying the contents of my stomach. I would have preferred falling down one of the many steep hills we climbed or descended. At one point I wound up being quite a distance behind. We were going down a long, steep hill. Go figure there were no trees or rocks to hold on to. I announced that no one ahead of me should worry if they heard crashing sounds, that it was just me. I wound up half running/flailing, half walking down the hill. I'm not sure how, but I managed to get to the bottom without falling. Aside from a few scary moments going down hills, it was a nice walk. Our guide even showed us the location of a kill site (wolf pack versus deer, guess who won) and a deer skull she found at the site. Gross, but pretty neat. My little straggler group also found what might have been a pelt. It was on the river so we weren't able to get closer to look at it.
When it came time to switch activities, it was much warmer. I was really glad that it had warmed up because now we were in the open. We learned the basics of how to use a handheld GPS and then participated in a scavenger hunt. I was supervising this time so I had less fun. I had to deal with a kid who insisted on jokingly calling by a name other than my own (I'll be looking it up on urban dictionary shortly), a couple of kids who had a tendency to wander, some kids play fighting over a bag and then some kids playing with huge, dangerous, dangly icicles. Yang on Grey's anyone?
Supervising is less fun than participating. Still, a good day. I'm an indoor girl, but I have to say, I absolutely loved the snowshoeing. If you have the opportunity, do it.
Lauren.
This was the case when I woke up this morning. I even listened to the radio and trust me, the guys on the radio are goobers, listening to them at all requires strength above the average. It was -33 degrees (Celsius) with the windchill. Needless to say, I wasn't very enthusiastic about snowshoeing and GPSing about the forest with nearly fifty kids. I thought we might postpone the outdoor day until Wednesday when it was supposed to be warmer. Nope. My AT simply proclaimed that kids today are pansies. Okay, she used different words but that was the sentiment.
We travelled about an hour outside of town. I tend to get carsick... We were on a bus... I was starting to get nauseous. Before I could get up to open the window, the kid in front of me threw up. I felt a little better about myself. Thankfully, we got him the garbage can just in time. Oh, and he was fine.
I went snowshoeing for the first time. I was shocked, shocked! to find that I actually really enjoyed it. Once we got into the bush, it was actually quite warm. And with the snowfall we got over the weekend, the trees were beautifully snow-covered, the trails were all soft and we got to see a lot of different animal tracks. I was mildly terrified when I was told that we'd be hiking. The last time I did that... well, my lunch got acquainted with the forest floor. Pretty much the last thing I wanted to do was be seen by my students while I was bent over, emptying the contents of my stomach. I would have preferred falling down one of the many steep hills we climbed or descended. At one point I wound up being quite a distance behind. We were going down a long, steep hill. Go figure there were no trees or rocks to hold on to. I announced that no one ahead of me should worry if they heard crashing sounds, that it was just me. I wound up half running/flailing, half walking down the hill. I'm not sure how, but I managed to get to the bottom without falling. Aside from a few scary moments going down hills, it was a nice walk. Our guide even showed us the location of a kill site (wolf pack versus deer, guess who won) and a deer skull she found at the site. Gross, but pretty neat. My little straggler group also found what might have been a pelt. It was on the river so we weren't able to get closer to look at it.
When it came time to switch activities, it was much warmer. I was really glad that it had warmed up because now we were in the open. We learned the basics of how to use a handheld GPS and then participated in a scavenger hunt. I was supervising this time so I had less fun. I had to deal with a kid who insisted on jokingly calling by a name other than my own (I'll be looking it up on urban dictionary shortly), a couple of kids who had a tendency to wander, some kids play fighting over a bag and then some kids playing with huge, dangerous, dangly icicles. Yang on Grey's anyone?
 |
| So not prepared to deal with that. She's impaled by the way. In case you can't tell. |
Supervising is less fun than participating. Still, a good day. I'm an indoor girl, but I have to say, I absolutely loved the snowshoeing. If you have the opportunity, do it.
Lauren.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A Handful at a Time
I always knew it would happen. It was always some far off reality. The inevitable kind of reality. I always have so much on my mind, is it really at all surprising that it's happening now? No... I suppose it's not. The future is now and I regret to say that I am beginning to lose my marbles.
Some of you might have suspected this was happening a while ago. The signs were there... I just thought I was being quirky and my regular kind of unusual. Perhaps I should tell you what I'm talking about. On Thursday, a student handed me her work. Literally. She put it in my hand. I can't find it. I turned my desk at school inside out (not as dramatic as it sounds), I went through all my papers at home (much more dramatic than it sounds) and I can't think of where it could be. There are only two places remaining and they shall be upended tomorrow morning. As if that wasn't bad enough, I seem to have misplaced one of my marking sheets. I could have sworn I put it in the bin with the rest of the assignments I had to mark this weekend. It was not there. There's the blank one, the half filled one, the one Meeko chewed on when I turned around for three seconds, but not the one with my students' religion marks. Annoyed? Yeah! I still have the assignments so it's just a question of going through all of them and taking down the grade again, but I don't have time for these kinds of shenanigans. I will upend my desk and search through the other bin for that tomorrow. And it's not like it's easy to lose. It's a piece of pink paper. Kind of stands out.
So, that's my morning tomorrow. Apparently the price of being distracted is insanity and paranoia. Regardless, that's about the only "school" related things I'm actually doing tomorrow. The kids are going on a field trip. Oddly enough, I almost mean that literally as well. They're off to the ecology centre. I hope the weather cooperates because I'm so not up to chasing after kids in snowshoes during a blizzard. That'll take away another handful of marbles...
All in all, this week should (and I'm crossing my fingers and knocking on wood while performing a few other good luck rituals) be relatively easy. I think the only full day of class is Wednesday and the kids get off early for March Break. Which means I do too! Seven days? What will I do? Mark 25 essays of course! Seriously though, I have so much to do, I doubt it'll be much of a break. Much needed but much needed for non-BEd related work. And there's so much of it...
The moral of this story is: If you wish to keep your marbles to yourself, pay attention or your students will steal them. I mean, treat others as you wish to be treated... there, that's a moral. Follow that one!
Lauren.
Some of you might have suspected this was happening a while ago. The signs were there... I just thought I was being quirky and my regular kind of unusual. Perhaps I should tell you what I'm talking about. On Thursday, a student handed me her work. Literally. She put it in my hand. I can't find it. I turned my desk at school inside out (not as dramatic as it sounds), I went through all my papers at home (much more dramatic than it sounds) and I can't think of where it could be. There are only two places remaining and they shall be upended tomorrow morning. As if that wasn't bad enough, I seem to have misplaced one of my marking sheets. I could have sworn I put it in the bin with the rest of the assignments I had to mark this weekend. It was not there. There's the blank one, the half filled one, the one Meeko chewed on when I turned around for three seconds, but not the one with my students' religion marks. Annoyed? Yeah! I still have the assignments so it's just a question of going through all of them and taking down the grade again, but I don't have time for these kinds of shenanigans. I will upend my desk and search through the other bin for that tomorrow. And it's not like it's easy to lose. It's a piece of pink paper. Kind of stands out.
So, that's my morning tomorrow. Apparently the price of being distracted is insanity and paranoia. Regardless, that's about the only "school" related things I'm actually doing tomorrow. The kids are going on a field trip. Oddly enough, I almost mean that literally as well. They're off to the ecology centre. I hope the weather cooperates because I'm so not up to chasing after kids in snowshoes during a blizzard. That'll take away another handful of marbles...
All in all, this week should (and I'm crossing my fingers and knocking on wood while performing a few other good luck rituals) be relatively easy. I think the only full day of class is Wednesday and the kids get off early for March Break. Which means I do too! Seven days? What will I do? Mark 25 essays of course! Seriously though, I have so much to do, I doubt it'll be much of a break. Much needed but much needed for non-BEd related work. And there's so much of it...
The moral of this story is: If you wish to keep your marbles to yourself, pay attention or your students will steal them. I mean, treat others as you wish to be treated... there, that's a moral. Follow that one!
Lauren.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
The True Nemesis of Cats
Cats hate baths. This seems to be universal knowledge. My cat is no different. He hates baths. What sucks for him is that he's quite dandruffy lately. My mom, I guess she was feeling ambitious, decided that now was as good a time as any to bathe him.
Normally, doing this requires us to get into crappy clothes, the prepare for Meeko literally latching onto us (for not having fingers or thumbs, he has an excellent grip) and yowling loud enough to bring down the house. It takes upward of twenty minutes depending how many times he manages to run away. I don't know if it's old age that's mellowed him or if he's just more comfortable with my mom, by his bath took under ten minutes, there wasn't so much as a meow and he came out looking terrified but no worse for wear. As for my mom, she was completely dry except for where she'd wrapped him in a towel and held him. Talk about weird.
Now, here's today's discovery. While cats hate baths, the also hate blowdryers. Poor Meeko was shivering and doing his level best to dry off (while staying as far away from us evil humans as possible). My mom felt bad, caught him and introduced him to her industrial strength blowdryer. Yeah, shortest relationship in history. I'm surprised the wind whipping past him as he bolted didn't dry him. If only he'd thought of this...
We might have been entertained enough to live with is dandruff... probably not.
He spent the rest of the day on my bed... getting it all nice and damp for me... God bless him. He knows no one will get him in my room. I think my room is the only one in the house that the whole family does not frequent. There's something to be said for being boring.
Other than relating stories from cat land, I did some writing today. Some of it for fun, some of it for venting, some with a purpose. I've spent the last... four-ish months waiting for March. Now that it's here... I could really see it come to a close. Acceptance or rejection letters arrive this month and waiting is kind of driving me crazy. Crazier. I admitted it. It's weird that a letter will decide where I'm living next year. Another reason my patience is running thin. And I'm generally a very patient person.
Maybe I should take my cue from the praying cat. There's still time right?
Lauren.
Normally, doing this requires us to get into crappy clothes, the prepare for Meeko literally latching onto us (for not having fingers or thumbs, he has an excellent grip) and yowling loud enough to bring down the house. It takes upward of twenty minutes depending how many times he manages to run away. I don't know if it's old age that's mellowed him or if he's just more comfortable with my mom, by his bath took under ten minutes, there wasn't so much as a meow and he came out looking terrified but no worse for wear. As for my mom, she was completely dry except for where she'd wrapped him in a towel and held him. Talk about weird.
Now, here's today's discovery. While cats hate baths, the also hate blowdryers. Poor Meeko was shivering and doing his level best to dry off (while staying as far away from us evil humans as possible). My mom felt bad, caught him and introduced him to her industrial strength blowdryer. Yeah, shortest relationship in history. I'm surprised the wind whipping past him as he bolted didn't dry him. If only he'd thought of this...
We might have been entertained enough to live with is dandruff... probably not.
He spent the rest of the day on my bed... getting it all nice and damp for me... God bless him. He knows no one will get him in my room. I think my room is the only one in the house that the whole family does not frequent. There's something to be said for being boring.
Other than relating stories from cat land, I did some writing today. Some of it for fun, some of it for venting, some with a purpose. I've spent the last... four-ish months waiting for March. Now that it's here... I could really see it come to a close. Acceptance or rejection letters arrive this month and waiting is kind of driving me crazy. Crazier. I admitted it. It's weird that a letter will decide where I'm living next year. Another reason my patience is running thin. And I'm generally a very patient person.
Maybe I should take my cue from the praying cat. There's still time right?
Lauren.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Good News and Bad News
A number of things occurred today. Some good, some bad.
In the bad category:
The class lizard definitely has some ungodly fascination with me. We have a new EA and she brought it up. That means it has to be true. What is it with me and animals and babies? Do I have a neon sign flashing somewhere on my person saying "approach, I'm safe"? Okay, I admit it, when I was getting my copies ready this morning I had that song "Call me Maybe"stuck in my head and I may have been singing along, but does that make me the pied-piper of infants and animals? Thank God I stopped before one of my students suddenly walked in... embarrassing.
I'm not a math teacher. So naturally, I taught the math lesson not once but three times. Once for a kid who was leaving and happened to be at school early. Twice for everyone else. Three times for a few kids who didn't understand. Algebra is hard. The irony is that I actually understand this stuff.
I have to change my name. I hear "Miss Daily!" and I cringe. So, I have to get married and change my name. Honestly, I never thought I would change my name. Now I know that I must. As soon as my placement is up!
By complete accident, my students discovered my weakness today. There was a cotton ball on the floor and I happened to notice it. I have no idea why it was even there. I asked one of the boys in class to pick it up. It was about two inches from my foot so they looked at me like "are you serious?" and I had to explain that I don't touch cotton balls. Needless to say, they spent the remainder of the day trying to touch me with the cotton ball, making me cringe and laughing at me. Horrible children.
And now the good news.
It's Friday and I am two thirds of the way through my placement! I have one week left before March break (which is desperately needed) and another week after that. Almost done this year and I cannot wait.
I've been teaching essay writing and today, the kids started their drafts. I was actually impressed with what they'd come up with and how excited they are about their topics. They are nervous about writing an essay, but I've had them doing outline after outline and they've got it down quite well. I'm truly excited to see the finished products. Not so much to mark them, but excited nonetheless.
The students like me! They truly like me! I know I say I don't care if they dislike me and I don't really, but it's nice to hear that they don't hate me.
That's about it for now. I'm sleepy and going to bed.
Lauren.
In the bad category:
The class lizard definitely has some ungodly fascination with me. We have a new EA and she brought it up. That means it has to be true. What is it with me and animals and babies? Do I have a neon sign flashing somewhere on my person saying "approach, I'm safe"? Okay, I admit it, when I was getting my copies ready this morning I had that song "Call me Maybe"stuck in my head and I may have been singing along, but does that make me the pied-piper of infants and animals? Thank God I stopped before one of my students suddenly walked in... embarrassing.
I'm not a math teacher. So naturally, I taught the math lesson not once but three times. Once for a kid who was leaving and happened to be at school early. Twice for everyone else. Three times for a few kids who didn't understand. Algebra is hard. The irony is that I actually understand this stuff.
I have to change my name. I hear "Miss Daily!" and I cringe. So, I have to get married and change my name. Honestly, I never thought I would change my name. Now I know that I must. As soon as my placement is up!
By complete accident, my students discovered my weakness today. There was a cotton ball on the floor and I happened to notice it. I have no idea why it was even there. I asked one of the boys in class to pick it up. It was about two inches from my foot so they looked at me like "are you serious?" and I had to explain that I don't touch cotton balls. Needless to say, they spent the remainder of the day trying to touch me with the cotton ball, making me cringe and laughing at me. Horrible children.
And now the good news.
It's Friday and I am two thirds of the way through my placement! I have one week left before March break (which is desperately needed) and another week after that. Almost done this year and I cannot wait.
I've been teaching essay writing and today, the kids started their drafts. I was actually impressed with what they'd come up with and how excited they are about their topics. They are nervous about writing an essay, but I've had them doing outline after outline and they've got it down quite well. I'm truly excited to see the finished products. Not so much to mark them, but excited nonetheless.
The students like me! They truly like me! I know I say I don't care if they dislike me and I don't really, but it's nice to hear that they don't hate me.
That's about it for now. I'm sleepy and going to bed.
Lauren.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
The Red Solo Cup Debacle
I eat lunch in the classroom. My AT does it, it gives the kids the opportunity to ask one on one questions and it's great observation time for me. People-watching is really useful for teaching. And not just the kind of people watching that involves making sure some kid doesn't get the bright idea to throw a banana at someone else. Yes, that did happen. Anyway, you can learn a lot about their interests and then tailor your lessons to fit those interests so they pay attention for at least ten minutes. Today's interest?
Red Solo Cup. The song I mean.
One of my students asked me if I'd heard of it. I told him I had. Sam sang it on Glee. I'm pretty sure he would have looked scandalized if I'd never heard of the song. He looked scandalized and offended that my only point of reference was to Glee. He spent a considerable amount of time looking up the video on his phone and finding a pair of speakers to share the original version with me.
I admit, it's a funny song. We watched the whole thing, him, me and the EA. We all laughed. And occasionally, one other student would pop in to shout out "red solo cup, I fill you up, let's have a party!". It was quite fun. My response?
"Don't show that to any other teachers." The EA agreed with me. The student laughed but nodded solemnly. Hey, if I can't talk about "the gays", I'm pretty sure the school wouldn't be thrilled to see some of the stuff happening in that video.
Although, it did get me thinking. I don't drink, so what would I use a red solo cup for? Drapes? No... Curtains for my door? I don't do drugs either so the pipe is out. While I was in the shower, it hit me. Not the shower. I figured out what I would use the red solo cup for.
I would fill two cups with Kleenex and make sure that it was really packed in there. Then, I would glue a cup to each side of a red solo headband. I would then wear the red solo cup headband when I inevitably become tired of hearing my name whined across a room. Makeshift sound proofing. While I may look stupid, my lack of headache says otherwise.
What would you do with your red solo cup?
Lauren.
Red Solo Cup. The song I mean.
One of my students asked me if I'd heard of it. I told him I had. Sam sang it on Glee. I'm pretty sure he would have looked scandalized if I'd never heard of the song. He looked scandalized and offended that my only point of reference was to Glee. He spent a considerable amount of time looking up the video on his phone and finding a pair of speakers to share the original version with me.
I admit, it's a funny song. We watched the whole thing, him, me and the EA. We all laughed. And occasionally, one other student would pop in to shout out "red solo cup, I fill you up, let's have a party!". It was quite fun. My response?
"Don't show that to any other teachers." The EA agreed with me. The student laughed but nodded solemnly. Hey, if I can't talk about "the gays", I'm pretty sure the school wouldn't be thrilled to see some of the stuff happening in that video.
Although, it did get me thinking. I don't drink, so what would I use a red solo cup for? Drapes? No... Curtains for my door? I don't do drugs either so the pipe is out. While I was in the shower, it hit me. Not the shower. I figured out what I would use the red solo cup for.
I would fill two cups with Kleenex and make sure that it was really packed in there. Then, I would glue a cup to each side of a red solo headband. I would then wear the red solo cup headband when I inevitably become tired of hearing my name whined across a room. Makeshift sound proofing. While I may look stupid, my lack of headache says otherwise.
What would you do with your red solo cup?
Lauren.
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